Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Living a Lie: The Philosopher's Stone

It must be a Thursday.

by Nooka 1 review

What if Harry was a girl? But, due to safety reasons, the Wizarding world thought she was a he? Follow Harry as she attempts to keep her secret in a new, and often strange, world.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Dumbledore, Harry, Lupin, Padma, Snape - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2006-06-16 - Updated: 2006-06-16 - 3799 words

This chapter and the two before it haven't been beta read so if anyone's interested say so in a review or pm me or even email me and I'll get back to you on it. Cheers!

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never have, never will do!

Thoughts emphasis/ 'shops'/

Read and review!


Harley sighed when she heard the doorbell ring again. Professor Snape is very determined! Honestly, can't he leave me to polish the useless silver in peace? Wiping her hands on her stained apron, Harley took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Ah, Mr Potter! Sorry to interrupt you." Harley refrained herself from staring at the strangely clad, bearded man standing on her Aunts' doorstep. "Would it be possible for us to come in? I have something rather important to tell you and I don't think that the doorstep is the best place to discuss it."

Harley smiled. At least this guy had manners, although he was lacking in the fashion department and that was coming from someone who wore Dudley's hand-me-downs. "I still need ID, sir." The old man smiled and handed her a small green card with his name, position and picture on it. Harley watched in amazement as the picture waved at her. She shook her head and swallowed. "Um...come in Professor Dumbledore."

Dumbledore smiled at Harley as he went through into the sitting room. Snape glared at her as he followed his boss into the house, his glare deepened when Harley shot him a smug grin.

"Now Mr Potter, I imagine you have many questions regarding Hogwarts and the magical world." Dumbledore smiled as Harley nodded in affirmation. "I'm afraid I can only spare fifteen minutes as I am an extremely busy man, but I'm sure Professor Snape will answer any questions when he takes you to Diagon Alley to purchase your school supplies, won't you Severus?"

Snape made a face that suggested that there was an extremely unpleasant smell under his nose. "Yes Headmaster."

Harley suppressed a snort. Yeah right! I'm sure he! I could get my revenge by asking him loads of questions to drive him mad! Harley mentally sniggered; this was going to be fun.

Dumbledore, oblivious to the evil plan that Harley was concocting, smiled reassuringly at his new student. "I shall tell you about Hogwarts and what you will be learning et cetera. After that you can ask some questions, all right?"

Harley grinned in excitement. "Yes sir!"

"Hogwarts is the main school for magic in the United Kingdom. The students are sorted into one of four houses according to their personalities. The houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Each house has produced outstanding Witches and Wizards. While you are at Hogwarts you will have classes with your house and year mates, eat at your house table and sleep in your house dormitory. You will earn house points for good behaviour and excelling in studies et cetera and loose points when you break the school rules." Dumbledore popped what looked suspiciously like a lemon drop in his mouth when he finished his speech and looked at Harley expectantly.

Harley had nodded a few times during the speech and was currently sat digesting the information. "What are we taught and when do we complete our education?"

Dumbledore smiled. "You are taught Potions, Charms, Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Astrology and Transfiguration. Transfiguration is turning one thing into something else and you finish Hogwarts at the fine age of seventeen."

A ringing sound came from within the Headmaster's robes. He frowned and pulled out a silver pocket watch. "I am most sorry Mr Potter; it seems that I am wanted back at the school. Professor Snape will escort you to Diagon Alley and answer any questions you might have." He shook Harley's hand and disappeared with a slight pop.

Harley blinked and shook her head. I'm going to have to learn how to do that. It looks like it could come in handy. She smiled at the possibilities of appearing from nowhere.

"Come on Potter, I don't want to waste any more time with you than is necessary." Snape scowled at her before pulling out a potions vial.

"Have no fear, dearest Professor! The feeling is entirely mutual." She said in an entirely too happy manner.

Snape's scowl deepened to a glare and he thrust the vial at Harley before performing the same trick as Professor Dumbledore, the pop being louder. Harley frowned, and then felt a tug at her navel. "What the...." She landed on her arse in a particularly grubby looking pub. "...hell?"

The entire pub stared at the 'boy' who was sat on 'his' arse in the middle of the dirty floor. Harley stood up and dusted down her too large trousers. She raised an eyebrow at the people who were still staring at her, or rather the weird scar on her forehead. She pushed her fringe over said scar. "What? You never seen anyone appear in the middle of a pub before?"

"It can't be...surely it's not Harry Potter!" exclaimed the barman.

Harley looked confused and overwhelmed as people started shaking her hand and introducing themselves. She sighed and tried to escape the mob by backing up to a door at the back of the pub. She opened the door and slipped through; closing the door she came face to face with a man with greying brown hair and amber eyes. Harley smiled sheepishly. "Hi, could you tell me where I could buy my school supplies? I was supposed to be coming with my charming Potions Professor, but he disappeared."

The man smiled kindly. "Well you've found the entrance to Diagon Alley. How about I show you where things are until we find your Professor?"

Harley smiled in relief. "That would be great Mr..?"

"Lupin. Remus Lupin. Call me Remus; Mr Lupin makes me feel old."

"Remus. Thank you, I'm Harry Potter by the way."

His eyes widened and Harley sighed, hoping that he wasn't going to act like those weird people inside. "I thought so." He muttered, and then smiled at her. "Well lets get going." He took his wand out of his pocket and tapped the wall in front of him.

Nothing happened for a few seconds and Harley was starting to think that Remus was insane when the bricks began to move. She stared at the wall as the bricks moved to the sides to reveal an alley filled with people.

Remus smiled at the look on Harley's face. "Welcome to Diagon Alley, Harry."

"Woah." She followed Remus into the Alley, staring at all the weirdly dressed people and the shops selling everything from wands to robes. Remus led her to a huge white stone building called Gringotts which, he informed her as they entered, was a bank. "Hey Remus, what are those." She asked, pointing at the nearest creature.

"Those are Goblins, they run the bank. Try not to stare, they'll be even more rude than they already are." He winked at her and headed to the nearest Goblin with a fascinated Harley in tow.

Harley looked around Gringotts in awe, the place was huge! The ceiling was so high that you could barely see the top, although that might have had something to do with the sunlight streaming in through the massive windows, glinting off the crystal chandeliers. "So you managed to find the entrance to Diagon Alley. Quite a feat for you, Potter." Drawled an unfortunately familiar voice from behind her.

Harley closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning around with a huge fake smile on her face to greet the person who was rapidly moving up her most hated list. "Professor Snape! How wonderful to meet your charming person again."

Snape snarled, the brat was far more annoying than his father. "Don't get cocky with me Potter or you'll find yourself in detention and Gryffindor minus a hundred points before you even set foot in Hogwarts!"

Harley was about to say that she hadn't even been sorted yet when Remus appeared with a pleasant smiled on his face. "Problem Severus?"

Snape sneered at him. "It is none of your concern, werewolf!"

Harley had to hand it to Remus, his smile didn't even falter. If anything, it got wider. "Oh but I think it is. You see, Mr Potter informed me that you disappeared leaving him alone in the Leaky Cauldron. I daresay that Dumbledore wouldn't be pleased if he found out."

"What is your point, Lupin?"

"My point, Snivillus, is that I don't think you're the ideal person to introduce Harry to the Wizarding world. So, I think that it would be in your best interests to leave him with me."

Professor Snape and Remus glared at each other before Snape sneered and left with his black robes billowing out behind him.

Harley looked up at her new best friend. "I don't like him."

Remus grinned. "No, your Dad didn't either."

Harley looked at him in shock. "You knew my Dad?" she breathed.

Remus smiled sadly. "I was one of his best friends. In fact, he left me in charge of the Potter estate until you come of age." He sighed sadly. Giving himself a little shake he smiled. "So, we'd better get you some money for your school supplies and some new clothes wouldn't go amiss either." He added, taking in her appearance.

Harley blushed. "Dursley's." she frowned as a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Why didn't you take me in or, at least, visit me?"

Remus grimaced. "I wasn't granted custody of you because I'm a werewolf and there are certain laws stating that I wasn't allowed guardianship of you and your Aunt enforced a restraining order when I tried to see you." He sighed. "I'm sorry Harry, I tried to visit and I did write you some letters when you were old enough to read but they always returned unopened."

Harley growled. "Why those evil, unimaginable..." she took a deep breath to calm herself and smiled at a worried looking Remus. "Well, at least you're here now." she gave him a quick hug. "So, you mentioned school supplies?"

Remus nodded and led the way to a Goblin who was busy weighing coins on a set of brass scales. Remus cleared his throat and the Goblin looked up with a scowl until he saw who it was, then he smiled. "Mr Lupin, how can I help you?"

"I've come to take some money out of the Potter vault for young Harry here, Griphook." He handed the Goblin a small silver key. Seeing Harley's questioning look, Remus explained. "It's your vault key. I'll give it to you after this or you can let me take care of it."

"You can take care of it, unless there's a way to get another one cut?" she directed this question at Griphook, who nodded and put it onto a machine.

"If you would put your hand on the handle, Mr Potter, it should take a sample of your blood to make sure that you are who you say you are and make a duplicate of the key." Harley complied and felt a sharp sting as the machine took a sample of her blood. The machine glowed yellow for a minute and then produced a second key exactly the same as the original one.

Griphook handed the keys to their owners. "If you would follow me sirs, I shall take you to the vault."

They followed Griphook down a torch lit passage way to a set of railway tracks with a cart standing on them. They climbed in and set off at a very high speed, zipping around corners with the air making a whooshing noise in their ears. After a few minutes, they slowed down to a stop outside a large wooden door with a coat of arms carved into it. A lion and a stag on either side of a shield which had a sword and a wand crossing each other inside and the name 'Potter' in capitals above it.

Griphook told Harley to stand in front of the door and turn the key in the lock. She did so and stepped back in shock when the lion and the stag looked at her and bowed. She looked at Griphook in question. "The vault has recognised you as a Potter. If you weren't a Potter or in charge of a Potter key then it wouldn't let you in." Harley nodded and watched as the great door swung open.

Inside was along chamber with a tapestry at the end covered in names. Family tree. Thought Harley. Shelves holding books, weapons and odd looking objects lined the walls. At the end of the chamber on either side of the family tree were two doors. Through the door on the right were trunks and a lot of furniture.

"You'll need to pick a trunk." Said Remus, who had been observing Harley quietly. He'd been the same when James had brought him here in their fifth year.

Harley nodded and looked around. She spotted one made of dark wood with a bronze band around the bottom, bronze stars around the sides of the lid and the Potter coat of arms on the top. "I'll take this one." Remus nodded and shrunk it before handing it to a stunned Harley.

He chuckled. "Come on, money for school supplies and I'll treat you to an ice cream later on." At the mention of ice cream, Harley broke of her shock and followed Remus through the door on the other side of the tapestry.

Only to be shocked once more. In the room were three piles of coins. Bronze, silver and gold. "Is this all mine?"

"Yep, every single last Knut." He helped Harley put some into a drawstring bag. "The gold ones are Galleons, seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty nine Knuts to a Sickle. The current exchange rate is three English pounds sterling per Galleon, which makes you an incredibly rich lad."


Remus laughed.

One wild Gringotts cart ride later, Remus and Harley stepped outside, blinking in the sunlight. "Right, first stop will be Ollivanders for a wand." Remus led Harley to a narrow, shabby looking shop with peeling gold letter above the door that read 'Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.' they entered to the sound of a tinkling bell. Remus sat down on a chair while Harley looked at the dusty boxes pilled on top of each other all over the shop.

"Good afternoon." Harley jumped and stared at the man who, seemingly, had appeared out of nowhere.

"Good afternoon, sir." Greeted Harley, politely.

"Ah yes. I have been expecting you, Mr Potter." He looked at Harley with piercing blue eyes. He smiled. "Well, hold out your wand arm Mr Potter."

Harley looked confused, but automatically held out her right arm. A tape measure appeared out of nowhere and began to measure everything from her arm to her nose. It was just measuring in between her eyes when Mr Ollivander returned with a small pile of boxes. "Alright, now." the tape measure fell to the floor. "Try this one. Nine inches, maple and unicorn hair. Just give it a wave."

Harley waved it but Mr Ollivander snatched it off her and handed her another one. "No, no! Eleven inches, beech and dragon heart string." He snatched it out of her hand before she could even wave it this time. "No. Erm...ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches." Harley waved it, causing the till to fly open. Mr Ollivander snatched it out of her hand before an apology. "I always like a challenge, Mr Potter." The minutes passed and the pile of boxes grew bigger and bigger and still it looked like they were no closer to finding Harley a wand. Mr Ollivander frowned and hurried into the back of his shop; he returned with a wand and handed it to her. "Try this one. Eleven inches, holly and phoenix feather. An unusual combination."

This time when Harley took hold of the wand, she felt a warmth in her fingers. She waved the wand and a steam of red and gold stars and sparks shot out and danced around the room earning an applause from Remus and Mr Ollivander. "Oh, bravo. Yes, indeed, oh very good. Well, well, very curious." He put Harley's wand in its box and wrapped it up.

Harley raised an eyebrow. "What's curious, Mr Ollivander?"

"I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr Potter. It just so happens that the phoenix whose feather is your wand core gave one other feather. The other feather was in the wand that gave you that scar." Harley looked confused. "Yes, thirteen and a half inches. Yew. The wand chooses the wizard; remember...I think we can expect great things from you, Mr Potter. After all, He Who Must Not Be Named did great things. Terrible! Oh yes, but great."

Harley nodded and decided that she'd have to interrogate Remus for information later. "Well...thank you Mr Ollivander." She paid for her wand and followed Remus out of the shop to a place called 'Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions'.

As she stood on a footstool being measured for her robes, she looked at Remus who appeared to be lost in his thoughts. "Remus, what was Mr Ollivander on about?"

He looked at her in shock. "You weren't told?" Harley shook her head causing Remus to growl angrily. He let out a huge sigh and told her all that he knew about the events of the 31st of October 1981, including Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. He watched Harley worriedly when he finished.

"I can't believe my Dads best friend would betray him and Mum to Voldemort!" she shook her head sadly. "Poor Peter too."

Remus sighed. "Yeah, Wormtail never stood a chance."

Harley frowned. "Wormtail?" she asked. Anything to get off this depressing subject.

Remus smiled, glad for the change of the subject. "Yeah, Peter's nickname. I was Moony, Black was Padfoot and your Dad was Prongs."

Madam Malkin told them that she was finished and Harley paid for her robes before going out to complete her shopping, asking Remus about her parents' school days. They talked about it as they shopped and Harley learned more about her parents from Remus in one afternoon than from her Aunt in ten years.

Remus looked thoughtful as they stopped outside Florean Fortescue's ice-cream shop and ordered chocolate brownie sundaes.

"S'up Remus?" Harley asked in concern.

He smiled at her. "Nothing Harry, I'll be right back." He hurried back down the alley. Harley watched him go in confusion. From what she'd learnt about her new friend, he didn't seem the type to impulsively run off. Then again, she'd only known him for a few hours.

Shrugging off her confusion, she dug into her ice cream savouring every mouthful. She hadn't tasted anything so good in a long time. Harley was halfway through her sundae when she noticed Remus coming back carrying...a basket? He grinned at Harley's confusion. "Happy late Birthday! And could you count it as ten years worth of them? I know it's not much, but I saw you admiring him through the window while I was in 'Flourish and Blotts' and I thought you might like him."

Harley opened the basket door and was greet with a curious sniff from the feline occupant. A silver tabby kitten with deep blue eyes padded out, eyeing his new owner curiously. "I...thank you Remus! He's perfect, aren't you Bhaskar?"

Remus smiled in relief and looked at her curiously. "Bhaskar?"

Harley nodded. "First name that came into my head."

Remus shrugged and watched the pair in amusement as they got to know one another. Harry was different from what he'd been expecting. He was a smart kid, polite and had an interesting sense of humour. There was a lot more of Lily in him, but James' mischievousness had shown up every now and then. He was petite like Lily had been in her first year. It had shown when they'd bought Harry clothes that had actually fit and the poor kid had James' unruly hair.

Remus shook himself out of his musings and looked at his watch. "Ok you two, I think we'd better book in at the Cauldron tonight. Can't be having you late for the train tomorrow." Remus laughed at Harry's excitement at the thought of going to Hogwarts and patiently answered his questions on the way backup the alley, filing away the information that Harry and a lot of sugar didn't mix.


Harley looked at Remus as though he were insane. "Through the wall?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes. It may look solid but, trust me, it isn't. Take it at a run if you're nervous and I'll go first to show you."

Harley watched Remus disappear through the wall that led onto platform 9 ¾ with a sigh. Wizards, she concluded, were mad. "Ok Bhaskar, hold onto your whiskers." She took a deep breath and ran at the wall...and through to the otherside. She stuck her tongue out Remus, who was applauding her.

He grinned and waved his arm at the huge scarlet steam engine to the side of them. "This, Mr Potter, is the Hogwarts Express." Harley stared at it, dumbfounded. "Well, let's find you a compartment."

Harley followed Remus along the train until they found an empty compartment. They loaded Harley's, surprisingly, heavy trunk onto the train and stood talking to each other out of the window. Five minutes until the train was due to leave, a frustrated looking Indian girl came up to them. "You wouldn't have any room, would you? Everywhere else is full."

Harley smiled at the newcomer. "Not at all, need any help with your trunk?"

The girl smiled gratefully. "Please."

Between the three of them, they loaded the trunk and just in time. The Express gave a shrill whistle and began to pull out of the station. Harley hung out of the window and waved goodbye to Remus until he faded out of sight. Sighing, she closed the window and sat down. "So, what's your name?"

The girl smiled and held out her hand. "Padma Patil."


Ow, my poor aching wrist! Well I hope you enjoyed that, although I don't know why I put Remus in. I got to the wall bit and there he was if you know what I mean. I've read through it, but it is a bit late so if you find any mistakes, that's my excuse.

Well leave this author a review; they might just heal my aching wrist!

Thank you for reading!

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