FicWad

*before you read hear me out...this chapter isnt well written .
..to be honest it was quite rushed but i still had to get it out there as iam going to be busy and not update for a couple of days as ive got my formal next week and a concert so please bear with me....again thanku to all those who are reading this story*

Chapter Eight

I continued walking even though my feet ached, but I didnt care. I just wanted to get there. There are times were I wish I could just walk away. Away from this town, away from everything Im connected to here. Away from the present. But I know I cant. Its as simple as that.

The air was cold and crisp, although the sun was up. No one was up at this time, probley still sleeping without a care in the world. I made it past the timber bridge. It was an old thing, built years ago yet it boasts as if it could carry tonnes.
I followed the pavement through the park. Its a small park with just enough room to run around. Trees surrounded it like the stonehedge. Right there in the middle is a set of swings and a slide. It isnt much but to me it was just enough.
When I was little, my dad used to bring me here every Friday afternoon after he finished work. He would sit down on one of the benches, take out a book and get lost in it, keeping an eye on me from time to time.
I would run from the swings to the slide then back, working my imagination into overdrive as I came up with make believe stories pretending the swings and the slide could be anything I wanted them to be.
Looking at them now, the paint is chipped and the steel rusted. They no longer hold that life that I saw in them.
I walked past trying not to revisit memories.

I had finally arrived at my place.
It was an old strip of land that has been long forgotton, the grass dead and yellow. Its hidden behind the parks scenery.
Facing it is an old set of train tracks that are no longer in use. Ive often wondered where they lead.
I sat down on the dead grass and stared at the fading colours of the train tracks to nowhere.

I sat there, trying my hardest not to think. Everytime I come here, I always sit and think, anaylse my life, try and figure out what I want. Coming here was like my therapy, otherwise I would of lost it.
Silence surrounded me. They say silence is golden, but that all faded when I heard leaves rustling, like someone walked over them as they wince in pain.

I dont want to turn around but I did anyway. Suprise coursed through my body as a response to who I saw standing before me. No one knows about this place. My eyes locked with his, my breathing coming out slowly.
How did he know Im here ?

I turned back around leaving Gerard staring at my back.
" I followed you here " he said in a low voice.
He sat down next to me, brought up his knees to his chest and continued talking.
" Its beautiful here. I can see why you come here "
I looked up at him, his hair covering his face. My mouth couldnt form any words, all I could do was stare.
I wanted to tell him to go away, to leave me alone. That I didnt want to get to attached to him in the fear that if I did,he would one day leave me forever. Somehow I couldnt. I wanted him here.
Silence again engulfed us, wrapped around us like a blanket.

" Why didnt you just end it all ? "
His voice interuppted my lonley thoughts, his question like a cold splash in my face.
Yes I thought, why didnt I end it all when I had a chance to. My pain would end and so will I. I would be free from myself. Free from my torment.
His question didnt bother me. Normally I would of denied this sort of question and change the subject, but somehow I couldnt do that with Gerard. I knew he understood me.
This time I had the courage to look up at Gerard. I turned my body so that I was facing him. I slowly lifted my hand to brush away the hair from his eyes. So that I can look into his hazel eyes and tell him the truth I have hidden inside. The reason for my exsistance still.

" Because......"