Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Take the pain away from me
Take the pain away from me
5 reviewsFrank is seventeen years old and he's bullied, he has been bullied as long as he can remember. Which makes him feel so worthless, so he starts to harm himself. One day Frank's being abused, almos...
1Moving
Chapter One: Worthless
”Frank!” the voice of my mother woke me up from my sleep. “Frank, wake up! You’re gonna be late for school.” I sighed deeply and dragged myself out of the bed, even though I’d rather just stay in bed all day than go to the stupid motherfucking school. I picked up a pair of of black skinnies from the floor and put them on me, then I picked up a black Superdrag shirt and dragged it over my head, and I put a black Misfits hoodie over the shirt. I let my three-row stud belt hang over my butt and I jumped into my black converse and tied the white laces. At last I walked to the mirror, in the bathroom, and started to draw lines, with eyeliner, around my darkbrown eyes. I looked closely at my reflection in the mirror. ‘You look like a mess, Mr Iero. It doesn’t matter how much you try, you never gonna make it, just face it. You’ll always be ugly, everyone will always look at you in disgust.’ I told myself as I put the eyeliner in the pocket of my hoodie.
“Frank!!!!”
“Mom, take it easy! I’m on my way, for fuck sake!” I shouted to her as I walked downstairs. I met my angry mother’s look when I finally was downstairs.
“For God sakes, what took you so long?”
“My morning routines” I said, and smiled a little. She looked seriously at me. “What’s the clock, by the way?” I asked her softly. She sighed deeply as she looked at her watch, on her right arm. Then she immediately looked up at me again.
“Oh crap, it’s already 7.50. You’ve gotta hurry now!” I sighed.
“Mom, relax. I seriously don’t give a fuck if I’ll be late for school, in fact I’ll be happier if I will.” My mom looked at me with a how-could-you-even-think-such-a-thing look.
“But I do! Frank, honey, I don’t want you to screw it up like the other times! We’ve been here for a long time now, and I really don’t feel like moving now. I want our lives to be okay again! Aren’t we both worth that, after all that we’ve been through? Please, don’t get suspended from this school too! I’m not sure I’ve the strength to go through all that again.” Tears were starting to stream down her cheeks. I took one step closer to her, and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me back.
“I’ll be ok, we’ll both be ok, I promise. I won’t mess it up this time, I don’t have the strength to go through it again either. I’ll sacrifice my entire soul in this, promise.” I almost whispered in her ear. But truth was that I’d already messed it all up, olot. That’s why I didn’t wanna go to school. Because I knew that Tom and his gang waited for me there, to beat me up. It was kinda’ regular to me by now. But I just hadn’t the guts to tell mom the truth about my situation. I couldn’t do that to her, I couldn’t break her down like that. I let go of my mom and I slowly walked to the door. I pushed down the doorknob, but before I walked out into the damn shining sun I turned around to my mom again and looked her deep in the eyes.
“Bye mom,” I said to her with sadness in my voice. She forced a smile on her lips.
“Bye honey, take care.” I nodded at her as I walked out into the bright shiny weather and closed the door behind me. I dragged the hood over my head and walked slowly to school.
When I arrived at school the clock was 8.30 and of course I assumed that I would be all alone in the corridor since I was half an hour late. At first I didn’t see anyone either, everyone was in class, just like I assumed, I felt so relieved, until I get to my locker. When I locked it up I suddenly heard a voice from behind. A voice I recognized.
“Well, well, look at the little dwarf! Late for school again? It looks kinda’ like a habit, doesn’t it?” I heard a silly voice say. “What are the parents gonna say about it? Huh?” I sighed as I heard a few others laugh, out loud. I pretended like I didn’t hear a thing and ignored all of them. I felt someone drag the hood off of my head and I closed the locker with a smash. I turned around, to look right into Tom’s eyes.
“Would you just leave it, Tom?” I said angrily and walked away from him and his little gang. But I could hear that he followed me. I knew that I was “safe” in the classroom, well safe was the wrong word since the teachers really didn’t care if Tom beat me up, just not in their classroom. All the teachers thought I was odd and they hated me because I wasn’t like the rest of the students, they hated me for having the guts to be myself. So instead of walking to the classroom I walked to the toilets, like the dumbass I was. I walked straight to one of the toilet booths and locked the door to it. I dragged the zipper, of my skinnies, down and pied. When I was finished I dragged the zipper up again. I could feel the silence around me and I thought that I’d finally get rid of Tom and the gang, but when I unlocked the door and opened it, I froze. Tom stood right in front of me, with his gang close behind him. I backed into the toilet booth again, in fear. But before I could reach for the door and close it, Tom was already inside the toilet booth with me. I fell down on my knees.
“Hello, little dwarf” he said to me. I swallowed hard and one of the members in Tom’s gang walked into the toilet booth too. Together with Tom he pushed me close to the toilet and they pulled my face into he cold disgusting water. I felt their hands on my neck as I heard the voice of Tom again,
” Here’s your punishment! This is what happens to short little dirty dwarf emo faggots.”
After that Tom and that guy, I didn’t knew the name of, had let go of me, with my face in the toilet, and walked out of there, I walked straight to the mirrors. My hair was wet and totally destroyed, and so was my make up. I washed away the make up from my eyes, took my eyeliner and drew new lines around my eyes. I looked a little better, but my hair was still a goddamn mess. I walked out of there and out from the school building. I considered towalk home, but then I realized that my mom wasn’t at work today so she’d ask me olot of questions about why I wasn’t still at school. So instead I walked to a playground, just a few metres from the school. I sat in a swing and I started to swing myself in it. A little boy walked by with a few of his friends, pointed at me and laughed, which his friends did too. I looked up a bit, but immediately looked down at the ground again, and I started to swing again. I stopped my swinging with my feet and stood up. I reached for a razor blade in the pocket of my skinnies. I finally managed to find it and held it in my right hand. I stared at it for a long time before I sat in the swing again. I started to swing a bit, with the help of my feet. But then I stopped it again. I placed the sharp razor blade between my thumb and my index finger. I sighed deeply, pressed the sharp razor blade against my wrist, which already were covered in scars from this razor blade. I always used the same one, because then I always knew how much it would hurt, how sharp it was, how deep it would cut. I could see the blood drip in the sand by my feet. It felt good, I always felt that when I cut myself it’s something good. I surely know that I really should stop, but I can’t, I’d been addicted after all these years. I wiped off the blood with my arm of the hoodie and looked down in the sand. I saw the crimson red liquid in the sand. It was beautiful.
After I’d been staring at the blood in the sand for a while I stood up and walked to the bus stop, nearby school. I wanted to go to the city for a while. But then I saw him again, Tom. I quickly turned around and walked in the opposite direction. But it was too late, he’d already noticed me. I heard his steps coming closer and closer.
“Hey, dwarf!” he yelled at me. I ignored him and kept walking, faster and faster. But then I heard him running and suddenly I feel his hand on my shoulder, pushing me. I turned around and stared at him. He pushed my one more time and I almost dropped my balance and fell to the ground. He pushed me one more time after that, even harder this time, so hard that I actually fell to the ground. I landed on my ass and looked angrily up at a playful Tom. He started kicked me in the side of my stomach. He sat down on his knees and started to punch me in the face. I know that it’s useless to fight back. I’m weak and Tom’s got big muscles. If I fought back I’d only get more hurt. So instead I closed my eyes and pretended like I was in some other place, I thought that it would stop the pain a little. But that was when it gets even worse. I hear people giggle and I immediately knew that it was Tom’s gang again. They’re coming closer and started to hit me too, all over my body. I felt how I was getting weaker and weaker for every second. This hurt more than the worst cut, I really thought that I was going to die there on the cold asphalt. But then suddenly they all stop hitting me. Someone was interrupting them,
“Stop it!” I heard a voice scream. “Get the hell out of here, or I’ll call the police!” I heard how Tom and the rest quickly ran away from me. I slowly opened my eyes, it hurt I was pretty sure that they’d given me a black eye or something cuz’ it hurt as hell to open my eyes. I saw a pretty young man walking to me. The young man sat down on his knees in front of my head. “Hi.” He said softly to me. “Are you badly hurt?” I didn't answer him, I just gave him a what-the-fuck-do-you-want look. "Are you badly hurt?" he repeated.
"Leave me the fuck alone!" I yelled angrily at him.
"Hey, I'm just trying to help you," he said kindly.
"Well, I'm fucking alright!" I yelled at him.
The man laughed. "Is that why you're lying on the ground? Come on. Just let me help ya." I kept staring angrily at him, I didn't need anyone's help, and especially not from some stranger. "So I'm asking you one more time, are you badly hurt?" I realized that there wasn't any idea to fight back so I just nodded.I nodded. He helped me up and I saw his whole body, he’d raven black hair, hazel eyes and had pale skin. Holy crap he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. God, Frank, stop thinking like that! You’re not even gay, or bi! “So, had you done anything do these guys or?” I shook my head.
“Just a victim.” I answered him. But he didn’t seem to understand what I meant. “They’re bullies, and I’m a victim.”
“Oh…” He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “I can see that they’d hurt you really bad. You want some ice on that?” I looked at him with a reserved look. ”I live at the next street,” he quickly filled in. I shook my head nervously.
“I dunno, my mom always taught me not to talk to strangers…” He laughed a little.
“Well, you’d already done that, right? And I’m pretty sure that your mom won’t be so happy if you show up at home like this.” I nodded.
“Okay, I guess you’re right.” We started to walk, but I was so weak that I felt like falling apart any minute. I hoped he didn’t notice.
“By the way, I’m Gerard.” He said after a little while.
“My name is Frank.”I said as i forced a smile on my lips.
This is my firt fan-fiction I have ever written, so it may be a little crappy, but I guess that's okay, since it my first. Please tell me if it's good, or if it's bad. So that I can be a better author. And please tell me if I should cointinue on this one, or just start over. So, please, please R&R.
Love J[**]
”Frank!” the voice of my mother woke me up from my sleep. “Frank, wake up! You’re gonna be late for school.” I sighed deeply and dragged myself out of the bed, even though I’d rather just stay in bed all day than go to the stupid motherfucking school. I picked up a pair of of black skinnies from the floor and put them on me, then I picked up a black Superdrag shirt and dragged it over my head, and I put a black Misfits hoodie over the shirt. I let my three-row stud belt hang over my butt and I jumped into my black converse and tied the white laces. At last I walked to the mirror, in the bathroom, and started to draw lines, with eyeliner, around my darkbrown eyes. I looked closely at my reflection in the mirror. ‘You look like a mess, Mr Iero. It doesn’t matter how much you try, you never gonna make it, just face it. You’ll always be ugly, everyone will always look at you in disgust.’ I told myself as I put the eyeliner in the pocket of my hoodie.
“Frank!!!!”
“Mom, take it easy! I’m on my way, for fuck sake!” I shouted to her as I walked downstairs. I met my angry mother’s look when I finally was downstairs.
“For God sakes, what took you so long?”
“My morning routines” I said, and smiled a little. She looked seriously at me. “What’s the clock, by the way?” I asked her softly. She sighed deeply as she looked at her watch, on her right arm. Then she immediately looked up at me again.
“Oh crap, it’s already 7.50. You’ve gotta hurry now!” I sighed.
“Mom, relax. I seriously don’t give a fuck if I’ll be late for school, in fact I’ll be happier if I will.” My mom looked at me with a how-could-you-even-think-such-a-thing look.
“But I do! Frank, honey, I don’t want you to screw it up like the other times! We’ve been here for a long time now, and I really don’t feel like moving now. I want our lives to be okay again! Aren’t we both worth that, after all that we’ve been through? Please, don’t get suspended from this school too! I’m not sure I’ve the strength to go through all that again.” Tears were starting to stream down her cheeks. I took one step closer to her, and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me back.
“I’ll be ok, we’ll both be ok, I promise. I won’t mess it up this time, I don’t have the strength to go through it again either. I’ll sacrifice my entire soul in this, promise.” I almost whispered in her ear. But truth was that I’d already messed it all up, olot. That’s why I didn’t wanna go to school. Because I knew that Tom and his gang waited for me there, to beat me up. It was kinda’ regular to me by now. But I just hadn’t the guts to tell mom the truth about my situation. I couldn’t do that to her, I couldn’t break her down like that. I let go of my mom and I slowly walked to the door. I pushed down the doorknob, but before I walked out into the damn shining sun I turned around to my mom again and looked her deep in the eyes.
“Bye mom,” I said to her with sadness in my voice. She forced a smile on her lips.
“Bye honey, take care.” I nodded at her as I walked out into the bright shiny weather and closed the door behind me. I dragged the hood over my head and walked slowly to school.
When I arrived at school the clock was 8.30 and of course I assumed that I would be all alone in the corridor since I was half an hour late. At first I didn’t see anyone either, everyone was in class, just like I assumed, I felt so relieved, until I get to my locker. When I locked it up I suddenly heard a voice from behind. A voice I recognized.
“Well, well, look at the little dwarf! Late for school again? It looks kinda’ like a habit, doesn’t it?” I heard a silly voice say. “What are the parents gonna say about it? Huh?” I sighed as I heard a few others laugh, out loud. I pretended like I didn’t hear a thing and ignored all of them. I felt someone drag the hood off of my head and I closed the locker with a smash. I turned around, to look right into Tom’s eyes.
“Would you just leave it, Tom?” I said angrily and walked away from him and his little gang. But I could hear that he followed me. I knew that I was “safe” in the classroom, well safe was the wrong word since the teachers really didn’t care if Tom beat me up, just not in their classroom. All the teachers thought I was odd and they hated me because I wasn’t like the rest of the students, they hated me for having the guts to be myself. So instead of walking to the classroom I walked to the toilets, like the dumbass I was. I walked straight to one of the toilet booths and locked the door to it. I dragged the zipper, of my skinnies, down and pied. When I was finished I dragged the zipper up again. I could feel the silence around me and I thought that I’d finally get rid of Tom and the gang, but when I unlocked the door and opened it, I froze. Tom stood right in front of me, with his gang close behind him. I backed into the toilet booth again, in fear. But before I could reach for the door and close it, Tom was already inside the toilet booth with me. I fell down on my knees.
“Hello, little dwarf” he said to me. I swallowed hard and one of the members in Tom’s gang walked into the toilet booth too. Together with Tom he pushed me close to the toilet and they pulled my face into he cold disgusting water. I felt their hands on my neck as I heard the voice of Tom again,
” Here’s your punishment! This is what happens to short little dirty dwarf emo faggots.”
After that Tom and that guy, I didn’t knew the name of, had let go of me, with my face in the toilet, and walked out of there, I walked straight to the mirrors. My hair was wet and totally destroyed, and so was my make up. I washed away the make up from my eyes, took my eyeliner and drew new lines around my eyes. I looked a little better, but my hair was still a goddamn mess. I walked out of there and out from the school building. I considered towalk home, but then I realized that my mom wasn’t at work today so she’d ask me olot of questions about why I wasn’t still at school. So instead I walked to a playground, just a few metres from the school. I sat in a swing and I started to swing myself in it. A little boy walked by with a few of his friends, pointed at me and laughed, which his friends did too. I looked up a bit, but immediately looked down at the ground again, and I started to swing again. I stopped my swinging with my feet and stood up. I reached for a razor blade in the pocket of my skinnies. I finally managed to find it and held it in my right hand. I stared at it for a long time before I sat in the swing again. I started to swing a bit, with the help of my feet. But then I stopped it again. I placed the sharp razor blade between my thumb and my index finger. I sighed deeply, pressed the sharp razor blade against my wrist, which already were covered in scars from this razor blade. I always used the same one, because then I always knew how much it would hurt, how sharp it was, how deep it would cut. I could see the blood drip in the sand by my feet. It felt good, I always felt that when I cut myself it’s something good. I surely know that I really should stop, but I can’t, I’d been addicted after all these years. I wiped off the blood with my arm of the hoodie and looked down in the sand. I saw the crimson red liquid in the sand. It was beautiful.
After I’d been staring at the blood in the sand for a while I stood up and walked to the bus stop, nearby school. I wanted to go to the city for a while. But then I saw him again, Tom. I quickly turned around and walked in the opposite direction. But it was too late, he’d already noticed me. I heard his steps coming closer and closer.
“Hey, dwarf!” he yelled at me. I ignored him and kept walking, faster and faster. But then I heard him running and suddenly I feel his hand on my shoulder, pushing me. I turned around and stared at him. He pushed my one more time and I almost dropped my balance and fell to the ground. He pushed me one more time after that, even harder this time, so hard that I actually fell to the ground. I landed on my ass and looked angrily up at a playful Tom. He started kicked me in the side of my stomach. He sat down on his knees and started to punch me in the face. I know that it’s useless to fight back. I’m weak and Tom’s got big muscles. If I fought back I’d only get more hurt. So instead I closed my eyes and pretended like I was in some other place, I thought that it would stop the pain a little. But that was when it gets even worse. I hear people giggle and I immediately knew that it was Tom’s gang again. They’re coming closer and started to hit me too, all over my body. I felt how I was getting weaker and weaker for every second. This hurt more than the worst cut, I really thought that I was going to die there on the cold asphalt. But then suddenly they all stop hitting me. Someone was interrupting them,
“Stop it!” I heard a voice scream. “Get the hell out of here, or I’ll call the police!” I heard how Tom and the rest quickly ran away from me. I slowly opened my eyes, it hurt I was pretty sure that they’d given me a black eye or something cuz’ it hurt as hell to open my eyes. I saw a pretty young man walking to me. The young man sat down on his knees in front of my head. “Hi.” He said softly to me. “Are you badly hurt?” I didn't answer him, I just gave him a what-the-fuck-do-you-want look. "Are you badly hurt?" he repeated.
"Leave me the fuck alone!" I yelled angrily at him.
"Hey, I'm just trying to help you," he said kindly.
"Well, I'm fucking alright!" I yelled at him.
The man laughed. "Is that why you're lying on the ground? Come on. Just let me help ya." I kept staring angrily at him, I didn't need anyone's help, and especially not from some stranger. "So I'm asking you one more time, are you badly hurt?" I realized that there wasn't any idea to fight back so I just nodded.I nodded. He helped me up and I saw his whole body, he’d raven black hair, hazel eyes and had pale skin. Holy crap he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. God, Frank, stop thinking like that! You’re not even gay, or bi! “So, had you done anything do these guys or?” I shook my head.
“Just a victim.” I answered him. But he didn’t seem to understand what I meant. “They’re bullies, and I’m a victim.”
“Oh…” He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. “I can see that they’d hurt you really bad. You want some ice on that?” I looked at him with a reserved look. ”I live at the next street,” he quickly filled in. I shook my head nervously.
“I dunno, my mom always taught me not to talk to strangers…” He laughed a little.
“Well, you’d already done that, right? And I’m pretty sure that your mom won’t be so happy if you show up at home like this.” I nodded.
“Okay, I guess you’re right.” We started to walk, but I was so weak that I felt like falling apart any minute. I hoped he didn’t notice.
“By the way, I’m Gerard.” He said after a little while.
“My name is Frank.”I said as i forced a smile on my lips.
This is my firt fan-fiction I have ever written, so it may be a little crappy, but I guess that's okay, since it my first. Please tell me if it's good, or if it's bad. So that I can be a better author. And please tell me if I should cointinue on this one, or just start over. So, please, please R&R.
Love J[**]
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