Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > All the Pills I take... wont take these memories away

All the Pills I take... wont take these memories away

by heyyahails 2 reviews

Gerard lives with his wife and duaghters murder, and has nightmeres and one day meets Frank after a dream of his wife telling him to let go of her...bad at summeries sorry!

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Fantasy - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2011-11-27 - Updated: 2011-11-28 - 4457 words

Five years had passed since that day, the day I lost my world. After it immediately I sat at home and cried, trying to find a reason to live, but I couldn’t find one. Upside-down my world was turned, nothing was here on this earth that was mine anymore. One month after the horrific death I walked into my bathroom and planned to never come out. I need not write a note for poor Mikey would never get over the note so I sent a goodbye text, nothing that he could hold onto forever, I was taking my life, not disrupting his. So on this day 4 years and 11 months ago I held a butcher knife to my wrist and pushed it in, the pain seared like when I used to cut, but I was smiling, soon I would be with her and I would see all of them again. Pain was numbed and pitch as dark as night enveloped my being, my soul. In this darkness I saw my old life, us our family. Happy images were overtaken by memories from that day, driving to the hospital, seeing them lying there, at first I assumed they were asleep, until they put them into body bags, and took them to the CSI morgue to slice them open like animals. Crying, so much of it and I couldn’t stop. Until this day, when the knife was in my skin, I smiled again, going to join them. Soon the blackness gave way to a room, a room with four doors and table with two chairs. She was there! Now I will be with her forever, she beckoned to me as she sat in the chair
“ Jennie, is it you?” I said hopefully, I knew it was her, even though she was white as snow and had blue eyes now, it had to be her
“Gerard why did you do this?” She said angrily
“I wanted to be with you and Cora”
“Killing yourself will not help anyone Gerard, think about what the hell Mikey will go through, your parents Gerard? You know what the news reporters will say ‘ another dark you 25 year old man committed suicide today due to mental instability’ you didn’t even leave a fucking note for Mikey, how can that be right?”
“I wanted to be with you guys, did you not see what I went through, I went to his execution and watched him die, and the second before he died, I saw him, saw him killing you and our child. I need to be with you and Cora my life is empty without you”
“Gerard dear, Cora is gone, she went into the lines to be reborn, I chose not to. Cora is now someone else’s , she’s not here.”
“What do you mean she’s not here?”
“when you die, there are three doors” she pointed to the four doors around us “ and someone from your life shows you the way”
“Jenn there are four doors”
“That’s because you can choose to live, something I didn’t get. The first door to your left is being ‘recycled’ they put you into another beings body, a new being be it cat or dog human or fish, your soul goes into a new life, a baby”
I nodded
“Second door is to wander the earth, to help people, make up for what you didn’t or couldn’t do. Third door is to watch over your family in heaven, which is what I chose. Fourth door for you is to go back to earth”
“Where are we?”
“In a limbo between worlds, there are 5 worlds for our souls, but you, you must go back to earth Gee. You must go back to Mikey and Jessica, your parents.”
I nodded
“And Gerard, I want you to be able to love again, so don’t hold your breath for me”
I nodded
“Goodbye” she said and she walked to the third door and left. Shaking, I pulled open the fourth door and walked in, it was dark and black, hallow. I felt like I was falling, like the time Jenn and I went skydiving.

I felt trapped. I tried to open my eyes, but failed, I tried again, barely getting them open. What I saw I will never forget. Mikey and Alicia with Bob, all crying. My parents crying. My dog in Alica’s lap trying to console everyone, but she too had let a whimper fall out her vocal chords.
“He, he is awake everyone you need to clear the room” A young doctor said. Everyone got up and left without a word.
“Mr. Way, I have been reviewing your file to find a plausible answer to why you attempted suicide, but I cannot find one.”
“My --- daughter and wife--- murdered, I had nothing le—left” I shakily said
“Mr. Way, you saw your friends and family, I am not judging but please, live for them. You will have to remain here for a week, but then we can release you.”
----------- Present
But that was two years ago, I still had nightmares about Jenny and her murderer, about Cora and where she was now. Usually after these nightmares, I would walk Jessica the one thing I had left that was mine. I remember his execution date, he was known as the “Railroad” killer, raped and murdered 19 women, only one survived, and it was not Jennie. Without a thought he took everything I had, so I smiled as they put the needle into his arm, as his feet shook under the sheets, and the second before he closed his eyes, I saw him murdering my family, with no remorse.
I went through saying and reliving this entire monologue every day, before I go to bed. So now I lie down in my bed lonely, thinking about how horrible my life is. Jessica is by my feet, she is the one besides Mikey, who got me through this. Soon I drifted into a sleep.
He was leaning over her, raping her in front of my child, our child. Who was crying, he held a knife to her throat as he silenced Cora forever. Before cutting my beloved Jennie open and shooting her.
I was screaming, at him, at everyone. I was tied up just like they were, so I watched them die.
I woke up sweating, after this nightmare. It was always the same one, I have been having it ever since they told me how my wife and child died.
Jessica had been woken up somehow, maybe I was screaming out loud. I grabbed her leash of the night stand and clipped it to her collar. Trudging over to my closet, I pulled on my rain boots trying not to look at Jennie’s clothes, which I had never taken out. Jessica starts barking at me wanting to go
“Calm down girlie, it’s only three am nobody is out” She yelped at me, upset we weren’t outside
“Who’s a pretty girl? You are” I told her this since I couldn’t tell Jennie or Cora, true she was a pretty husky, every time I saw her I saw Jennie’s eyes in hers, saw Cora’s joyful attitude in her.
We walked out the front door and along the cold New Jersey Streets, it was a pretty night, we lived in a higher end neighborhood. Jessica was leading the way, soon we were on the very high end side of town, the houses ranged in the tens of millions. I soon realized why Jessica was pulling me here, there was a man playing with a dog in his yard. Pulling harder and harder I soon ended up at this stranger’s house. Our dogs were sniffing each other, bouncing around happily
“Hello” The man said
“Hello, I didn’t know anyone else would be up this late” I said
“Same here, I just got back from work so I decided to play with Betty here” the man said
He extended a hand “My names Frank” I shook his hand
“Mine is Gerard, so you just got back from work?”
“Yeah I own a few Bars around Jersey, mostly band hotspots, I wanted to check out a few of them today. And you can let your dog off the leash” I noticed Jessica was pulling her leash hard, to play with Betty
“Oh, fun”
“So what are you doing up so late” he asked
Shit how do I answer that
“Um just got back from work too, and Jessica needed a walk” I lied, I worked freelance I didn’t have hours
“Oh really, what do you do?”
“I’m an artist, usually freelance, but I got a new client who really needed a piece done”
“Oh, that’s cool, wait your names Gerard right?”
“Yeah Gerard Way”
“Dude I have one of your paintings!”
“Oh really which one?” I asked, wow this guys was cool
“The one called ‘a day of dawn and death’ I loved it”
“That one is actually one of my favorites I made, it kind of a very dark painting though”
“I like dark, it’s interesting and mysterious it’s a huge painting”
“Yeah, I had to finish it outside of my house it wouldn’t fit in my studio”
“It was well worth the money though, it enhances my décor”
“Well thank you. So what clubs do you own?”
“Oh I own the chain of Rock and Roll Down Low, um Diggy’s Bar For PDiddy, and Jose’s Down from the South, I own a record studio too, it’s called Skeleton.”
“Oh that’s so cool, my brother played at the Rock and Roll Down Low in Hoboken with his band”

“Which band?”
“Um I think it’s called Blind Changes”
“Dude who’s your brother? Blind Changes is on my label”
“Oh um Mikey Way, he plays bass”
“Skinny with glasses straightens his hair, oh and he talks about his brother Gee?”
“Yep that’s Mikey”
“You’re not as weird as he said”
“Yeah he loves to make fun of me, but I will get even with him, you know their singer Bert?” Frank nodded
“They made out and Mikey was so stoned he thought Bert was a chick”+
“HAHAHA oh my gosh, that shits hilarious, Bert does not look like a fucking chick! Now I am telling everyone.”
“Good now me and Mikes are even. Anyways I might want to get going, I have got work in the morning. Nice meeting you.”
“You too,” We waved goodbye to each other as I clipped Jessica’s leash on she gave me a look, a look I had not seen since Jennie was alive. The look of love, a smirk with her eyes when she knew I loved someone. I shook it off, it’s not okay to like someone, Jennie is who I love.
I walked back home and shook off meeting him, I love Jennie. But he was very nice and kind pretty too.
I went back to bed
Jennie is it you? Jennie JENNIE
‘Gerard I told you to let me go’ a shadowy woman said
I cant
‘yes you ca, you can still love me and love someone else’
No I cant
‘yes you can Gerard, let me go’ she faded away again
I woke up and checked the clock, it read 7:53. I decided to walk Jessica to Mikeys
Pushing her furry butt out of bed, I pulled on an Anthrax shirt jeans and a leather jacket. Finally I grabbed her leash, and pulled on my rain boots again. I trudged out the door and down to Mikey’s, it was a five minute walk, and soon I was at his door ringing the bell
“Gerard what are you doing here its ass o clock in the morning” Alicia said
“LOVE YOU TOO Alicia, where the hell is your gay lover”
“He’s at Skeleton with Bert and Bob, they’re working on a new record.”
“Okay I guess I will go there then”
“Love you Gee”
“Love you too Alicia” She kissed me on the cheek, she was the best sister in law ever.
I walked back to my house and thought about it, Mikey is a successful bassist with Blind Changes, a hugely successful Alternative Rock band, I am a widower millionaire, who paints all day hoping the fumes will get to his head. I put Jessica in the passenger seat, and started driving to Skeleton. It was a ten minute drive. I needed to tell Mikey about my dream and nightmare last night, that’s why I’m going to see him, not because I want to see Frank, no not to see Frank.
I walk into Skelton to see Allie
“Gerard Arthur Way you know better than to leave Jessie in the car, go get her and give her to me, you know I love her. Frank would have a piss if he saw a dog in a car too, he goes all crazy PETA leprechauns on me”
Everyone loved Jessica she was so sweet and nice, polite too.
“I will go get her don’t piss yourself Allie”
As I was getting Jessica from the car I saw Frank pull up, I guess I should have put it together before then about Frank.
“What, Gerard come to visit me?”
“Indeed Frank, just for you”
“Or did you come for a doggie play date”
“Yeah sure” I just noticed Frank had about five dogs on leashes with him, all sniffing with Jessica
“lets go inside huh?” I said he nodded
As we walked in the door I swear I heard Allie say
“Franks new fuck buddy” but Frank coughed loud enough to where I somewhat questioned it
“What you got a cold or something?” I said
“then what’s up with the cough then”
“Oh-um allergic to um Allie”
“Okay then” I said, wait am I flirting with him, no this is just friendly banter.
“MIKEY WAYYY!” I called
“Over here” a small voice answered
“Hey Gee” he said as I walked into the breakfast nook next to the recording studio
“Hey Mikes, um can we talk?”
“yeah, sure lets go outside”
We walked out onto the little second story patio
“Sooo” Mikey started
“I had a nightmare last night about Jennie and I walked around and met Frank and then I went back home and had a dream, about Jennie, she was telling me to let go of her. Why? It’s the first time I’ve ever had a dream where she was talking to me” I was talking really fast and I had to stop to take a breath
“Dude, you have to let go of her, she would want you to have love, to have happiness. Maybe Frank triggered something”
“Maybe, I don’t want to let go though”
“If letting go would make Jennie happy wouldn’t you do it”
“Yes but-”
“Seriously she wanted you to be fucking happy her last words were ‘ let go Gee’ take a hint”
I was about to cry I had never said her last words to myself, I was convinced she didn’t say them
“Let go Gerard, let go” Mikey whispered.
“I got to go Gee, but let go”
Mikey walked away and I sat there, remembering her in the dream. I started bawling, her face saying to let go
“I am letting go Jennie, I love you, I Love you Jennie”
I let go. I love her. But I can love someone else. It was like I light switch in my head turned on. Back onto love and lust and want. Something I haven’t had for five years. I wiped my tears with my jacket and walked back into the main building. I walked down stairs, only to see Frank talking to Allie
“Well well looky here it is GeeEEErard Way”
“Why yes it is” I answered
“So do you want to go get coffee, I’m thirsty and Allie here hates coffee”
“Sure” Just then I realized how beautiful Frank was. Curly brown hair ear length, colorful tattoos painted all over his lightly tanned skin, a perfect blue lip ring, skinny and tugging lightly on his plump lips. Oh shit I am fucking staring.
“Ahem” just then I realized the dogs were all around us leashed up and Frank realized I was staring at him
“I’m sexy and I know it, now grab your dog so we can get CAFFFINE!” Frank said
Allie started to laugh
“Okay so now we know each other a little let’s talk what your life story?” Frank said
“Um” I stuttered
“Don’t worry your cute, I will still like you even if you’re a stripper”
“Um I grew up with Mikey in Bellville, I got married at 18 and had a kid at 19,”
“So you’re married?”
“No, um. How do I- um Do You know the railroad killer?”
I said trying to hide my tears
“My- my wife and Daughter—th—they were murdered by h—im”
“Oh my god I am so sorry I didn’t know you don’t have to tell its fine”
“No I can talk about it my therapist says it helps to talk about it, that was about five years ago, but a month after it happened I attempted suicide to no avail”
“The reason I came here is last night I had a dream of my wife telling me to let go of her,”
“Then what were you really doing up last night?” he said quietly
“I had a memory of her murder, a nightmare, it was flashbacks and such, and so I walk Jessica when it happens”
“ So what’s your story Frank”
“well I don’t know how to fallow that up, um I was born in Belleview as well, only child. Dad left for a hooker, um started out as a bartender saved up bought one bar, then the next and so on. I saved every penny I had for Skeleton, music was my life as a kid. A way to escape the nasty divorce”
“Oh I’m sorry man”
“It’s all cool”
“So how old are you?”
“I’m 21”
“Then how were you are bartender”
“It wasn’t exactly legal”
“Cool man”
“So what do you want” I realized we were in Starbucks already
“Um coffee black”
“Okay two black coffees” frank said to the barista, she was probably seventeen, whoa she was winking, at me? No probably Frank.
“That will be right out” She said cheerily
I looked around the starbucks, small and cozy, probably could only hold fifteen people maximum. It had small brown tables and chairs scattered around. Local bulletins and band posters coated the walls.
Frank grabbed my hand and pulled me to the table in the back we sat down across from each other in a corner table.
“so now that I know your life story I must admit something”
“I was totally hitting on you yesterday and was going to ask you to come into my house”
“Creepy Frank, Creepy”
“Well I was going to ask you in for coffee”
“I would have gone in”
“Dang I guess I should have gone with my gut”
“So why haven’t I met you before” I asked
“I actually just got out of a pretty bad relationship and I was never really around before now I guess”
“Bad?” oh dumb Gerard he doesn’t want to say
“Um my boyfriend would hit me and I took it but one day it got really bad and Mikey and Bob made an unexpected visit and saw him attempting to rape me and they called the cops and Bob beat the shit out of him, and yeah”
“Oh okays”
“It was actually just my six month anniversary of dumping him yesterday”
“So were you really out checking on bars”
“No I was actually visiting my mom”
“Oh that’s cool, why didn’t you just say that?”
“Wanted to impress the hot guy walking his dog”
“Wait have you seen me before?”
“Pretty much once a week at 3 am yesterday was the first day I got the balls to talk to you, and look where we are now”
“ I never thought I would have a crush on my labels bands bassists’ brother” he said
Then the young barista walked over and placed our cups on the table. The cup she put in front of me had a number on it
“Call me” she said quietly
“HAHAHHAH” frank was laughing so hard
“That’s hilarious, one second” he got up and walked over to her and her loudly said
“Honey he is 25, not 15 kay? You’re seventeen I am telling your dad”
“Frank if you tell my dad I swear I will piss in your coffee”
“Love you too Clarissa”
Frank walked back over and sat down
“How do you know her?” I asked
“That’s Allies daughter”
“Oh crap that’s hilarious”
“I call telling Allie” Frank said
“Fine but let’s get back to skeleton I need to get my dog from Allie”
We got up and walked out of star bucks, waving goodbye to Clarissa
Once we got outside I knew it was a five minute walk
“ So I have a question?” Frank said
“I would be greatly honored if you came to my home for dinner”
“Frank that wasn’t a question”
“You know what I mean”
“promise you wont creep on me”
“fine” he sounded like a five year old who had just been told to put the puppy back
“Okay I will go to your house”
“IT’S A DATE!” he said quite loudly, but no one else was outside to hear it.
“SHIT it’s raining” I said
“Come over here and Frwankie will keep you warm”
“Sorry leprechaun isn’t my type” I slyly said
“ Oh if it’s going that way then red heads aren’t my type” I remembered I had dyed my hair red , blood red, for memory of life
“Dude just kidding I love the hair”
“Oh sorry I was thinking, thanks by the way, I dig your lip ring”
“What color is your hair normally”
“Dude you’d look like a vampire cool!”
We were back at skeleton and Frank was holding the door open for me
“Why thank you kind sir” I said
“GUESS WHAT ALLIE!” Frank all but screamed
“What Frank, you got some from Gerard?”
“No but, your daughter was hitting on Gerard”
“HAHAHA Holy shit, sorry bout that Gerard, she is a bit into older men”
“Tell me about it my coffee cup has her number on it”

“You better not call” Frank said jokingly
“I wouldn’t want my daughter to get her heart crushed by the man who is humping my boss” Allie said
“Dude it wasn’t humping” I said
“It was…. DRY humping” Frank said.
“oh Allie he needs his doggy dog.”
“Oh hey Gerard I can give you a life home” Frank said
“Okays just don’t think about trying to get to third base in the back of your car!” I said
Frank gathered all his dogs up and I grabbed Jessica and we piled into his Escalade.
We rode in silence, it was a good silence though calm and quiet.
“Nice ride man”
“Thanks um, were here”
“How do you know where I live?”
“I did not fallow you while you were walking home yesterday”
“Okay. Um Come in kay?”
“Kay can I bring them in?” he said pointing to his menagerie of dogs
“Hell yes”
We walked up to my door dogs pulling to get in
I opened it and let Jessie and the rest of them run inside
“SO Frank is dinner tonight or when?”
“Tonight, my house, 7. Be there”
“Sit down” I said as I walked towards the couch
“I wanna try something”
I walked over towards him, he was now on the couch, laying out stretching his small expanse over the leather sofa.
I kneeled over his waist, looking into his eyes. Leaned over his face with mine
“Do you mind?”
“Go right ahead”
I leaned in and put my lips lightly on his slowly moving our lips together. He grabbed my hair, oh he likes it rough, yanked it hard, and attacked my lips with his own. I slowly, tantalizingly slowly, part my lips, only to have him shove his entire tongue down into my mouth. I slowly enter his mouth finding his tongue with my own, playful pining his tongue down and licking the inside of his mouth. Pulling my tongue out of his mouth I gripped his lip ring in between my teeth, and gently tugged it, and he moaned, like a porn star
“Gerard don’t-don’t do that unless I’m going to get action”
“Mkay” I said putting my lips back on his tugging his lip ring again
“Should I read into that?” Frank said
“Sorry Hun you’re not getting any on the first date I’m no whore”
“Tease” he said
I got off of him only to see Mikey frozen in the doorway.
“Shit Mikey what are you doing here?”
“I needed to get frank” he giggled, Mikey fucking giggled
“Um Mikey what do you need?” Frank said getting off the couch
“Um you’re” giggle “your” giggle “dude I need your fucking keys to the sound proof tuning room”
“You asshole!” Frank said
“You have your own keys to that room” I said, I knew this because I had gone into there to get Mikey’s bass before
“I know” Mikey said
“YOU CAME HERE TO SEE IF WE WERE DOING IT DIDN’T YOU!” Frank said laughing loudly
“Kinda, it’s been a while since either of you got some so carry on I will leave”

“Nope, you ruined the moment Mikey” I said
“See you later Frank”
He kissed me lightly on the lips.
He whistled and his dogs came running to him, well trained I can add to the reasons to do Frank Iero list.
“bye Gee” He said as he pulled out the drive way. I looked to the clock, it was only 11 o’clock. I needed to figure some shit out.
[*AN new story please r and r so I can know wether or not to continue it
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