Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Motions Of Life?
Chapter Ten
I didnt want to remember my talk with Gerard as I knew if I started to dwell I would taint it with my self suffering thoughts. Instead I just remembered our hands colliding and running under the rain, running until our chest hurt. Running until we ran out of places to run to.
I went home that evening. Well I go home every other evening, but today it felt different. Walking through the door into the house, the same house that contained my memories and seemed to be my safe haven. The same house and the same walls that have seen me cry and laugh, rant and dance, have heard my thoughts and truly seen what ive gone through. Walking through the door I felt lighter, like some of my punishments that Ive endured have been lifted and tossed. My soul has began to regain its colour.
I hung my coat on the rack and walked quietly to the kitchen. I had expected to find my mum in the kitchen, waiting for me with dinner on the table, except she wasnt there. Instead what awaited me was a note written in my mums neat handwriting that lay in the center of the table besides a plate of cookies. Looking at both the note and the cookies, I didnt know what was more tempting, my curiousity into what the note held, or the cookies. I reached for the note first. My curiousity always got the better of me.
Dawn honey,
Iam sorry that I wont be spending the evening with you tonight
I got a call from a friend whom I havent seen in a while and we decided to reconnect over dinner.
Ive left you cookies and dont wait up for me.
Love you
Mum
I read the note slowly, taking in my mums handwriting. Ive always loved the way she wrote and how she connected the letters.
That was my mum, always apologising for taking time to look after herself and have a bit of fun. Its like she feels that she owes it to me to spend all her free time with me. Its been like this ever since my dad left.
I took a cookie from the plate and went to the fridge and opened it out of habit, not looking for anything in particular. I closed it, took another cookie and stood before the kitchen window, staring at the scene outside. It was still raining and was now dark. I looked down a couple of houses and saw that Gerards house was lit up.
I sighed, closed the curtain and retreated to make tea. It was the perfect soloution in the cold weather, teamed with a book of course. I put the kettle on and ran upstairs to my room. I changed into my pyjammas and slippers, grabbed my book that I had began to read the other day and moved. I closed my bedroom door and stood there. Not moving but listening to the silence that seemed to ring in the house.
I made my tea the way I like it. Half a mug of boiling water and the rest cold. I entered the living room and spraweled myself on the couch, wrapped n a blanket and getting lost in its softness. I turned on the tv but muted it, just for that extra comfort. I opened my book to where the bookmark was last placed and began to read, transported to the make believe world the author has created.
I dont know how long Ive been sprawled on the couch reading. I would of stayed there but the doorbell suddenly woke me up from my dream like state. I looked at the time. 8:26. I didnt know anyone who would come knocking at this hour. I didnt want to be disturbed. I wanted whoever was on the other side of the wooden door to walk away thinking no one was home. But as much as I wanted that, it seemed the person was persistant.
I put my book down and movex towards the door, the blanket still wrapped around me. I unlocked the door and was suprised to see Gerard standing before me, droplets of water lining his hair, movie in hand.
I motioned for him to come in from the freezing rain.
We stood there staring nervously at eachother, until he felt the need to explain his late bringing.
" Your mum called my Ma asking her to check up on you as your all alone. Id figured I have nothing better to do so I came. Oh and Ive bought a movie".
I just nodded and walked back into the living room, Gerard in tow. I took my orginal seat and he sat next to me. I saw him taking in my book and mug of tea and turned to me " Were you enjoying yourself ? "
I again found myself nodding.
" Why dont you pop the movie in while I make us something hot to drink ?" I managed to breathe out. " Okay "
I stood up and made my way to the kitchen. I pulled out two mugs and decided to make hot chocalate. I didnt know if he would like tea si I settled on what I assumed everyonr likes.
I heard the movie start up, grapped the mugs and walked out.
Gerard was sitting where he was before with the lights out. I handed him his mug, sat down next to him and began sipping my drink.
I didnt recognize the movie he bought but he seemed into it. We both drank while we watched. His hand brushed my arm and I felt him tug at the end of the blanket until it wrapped around him aswell. The warmth of the blanket bonded us together.
I looked up at him and our eyes met for a brief moment and then returned to the flicker of the bright tv screen. Niether of us were saying anything, but yout not supposed to right? Its a movie.
As much as I tried to focus on the movie, I couldnt. My thoughts were running wild. I didnt have to pretend around Gerard. Everytime I look into his eyes, its like a piece of me is picked up and glued to assemble me back together. Its happening even though I had told myself that if I ever broke apart, I didnt want to be picked up.
He took my hand in his, his eyes never leaving the screen. I smiled to myself and finally focused on the screen.
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I didnt want to remember my talk with Gerard as I knew if I started to dwell I would taint it with my self suffering thoughts. Instead I just remembered our hands colliding and running under the rain, running until our chest hurt. Running until we ran out of places to run to.
I went home that evening. Well I go home every other evening, but today it felt different. Walking through the door into the house, the same house that contained my memories and seemed to be my safe haven. The same house and the same walls that have seen me cry and laugh, rant and dance, have heard my thoughts and truly seen what ive gone through. Walking through the door I felt lighter, like some of my punishments that Ive endured have been lifted and tossed. My soul has began to regain its colour.
I hung my coat on the rack and walked quietly to the kitchen. I had expected to find my mum in the kitchen, waiting for me with dinner on the table, except she wasnt there. Instead what awaited me was a note written in my mums neat handwriting that lay in the center of the table besides a plate of cookies. Looking at both the note and the cookies, I didnt know what was more tempting, my curiousity into what the note held, or the cookies. I reached for the note first. My curiousity always got the better of me.
Dawn honey,
Iam sorry that I wont be spending the evening with you tonight
I got a call from a friend whom I havent seen in a while and we decided to reconnect over dinner.
Ive left you cookies and dont wait up for me.
Love you
Mum
I read the note slowly, taking in my mums handwriting. Ive always loved the way she wrote and how she connected the letters.
That was my mum, always apologising for taking time to look after herself and have a bit of fun. Its like she feels that she owes it to me to spend all her free time with me. Its been like this ever since my dad left.
I took a cookie from the plate and went to the fridge and opened it out of habit, not looking for anything in particular. I closed it, took another cookie and stood before the kitchen window, staring at the scene outside. It was still raining and was now dark. I looked down a couple of houses and saw that Gerards house was lit up.
I sighed, closed the curtain and retreated to make tea. It was the perfect soloution in the cold weather, teamed with a book of course. I put the kettle on and ran upstairs to my room. I changed into my pyjammas and slippers, grabbed my book that I had began to read the other day and moved. I closed my bedroom door and stood there. Not moving but listening to the silence that seemed to ring in the house.
I made my tea the way I like it. Half a mug of boiling water and the rest cold. I entered the living room and spraweled myself on the couch, wrapped n a blanket and getting lost in its softness. I turned on the tv but muted it, just for that extra comfort. I opened my book to where the bookmark was last placed and began to read, transported to the make believe world the author has created.
I dont know how long Ive been sprawled on the couch reading. I would of stayed there but the doorbell suddenly woke me up from my dream like state. I looked at the time. 8:26. I didnt know anyone who would come knocking at this hour. I didnt want to be disturbed. I wanted whoever was on the other side of the wooden door to walk away thinking no one was home. But as much as I wanted that, it seemed the person was persistant.
I put my book down and movex towards the door, the blanket still wrapped around me. I unlocked the door and was suprised to see Gerard standing before me, droplets of water lining his hair, movie in hand.
I motioned for him to come in from the freezing rain.
We stood there staring nervously at eachother, until he felt the need to explain his late bringing.
" Your mum called my Ma asking her to check up on you as your all alone. Id figured I have nothing better to do so I came. Oh and Ive bought a movie".
I just nodded and walked back into the living room, Gerard in tow. I took my orginal seat and he sat next to me. I saw him taking in my book and mug of tea and turned to me " Were you enjoying yourself ? "
I again found myself nodding.
" Why dont you pop the movie in while I make us something hot to drink ?" I managed to breathe out. " Okay "
I stood up and made my way to the kitchen. I pulled out two mugs and decided to make hot chocalate. I didnt know if he would like tea si I settled on what I assumed everyonr likes.
I heard the movie start up, grapped the mugs and walked out.
Gerard was sitting where he was before with the lights out. I handed him his mug, sat down next to him and began sipping my drink.
I didnt recognize the movie he bought but he seemed into it. We both drank while we watched. His hand brushed my arm and I felt him tug at the end of the blanket until it wrapped around him aswell. The warmth of the blanket bonded us together.
I looked up at him and our eyes met for a brief moment and then returned to the flicker of the bright tv screen. Niether of us were saying anything, but yout not supposed to right? Its a movie.
As much as I tried to focus on the movie, I couldnt. My thoughts were running wild. I didnt have to pretend around Gerard. Everytime I look into his eyes, its like a piece of me is picked up and glued to assemble me back together. Its happening even though I had told myself that if I ever broke apart, I didnt want to be picked up.
He took my hand in his, his eyes never leaving the screen. I smiled to myself and finally focused on the screen.
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