Categories > Original > Drama > What's Another Night All Alone, When You're Spending Every Day On Your Own...
I could hear noises all around me, the constant beep, beep, beep, of the heart machine, someone breathing next to me, nurses cluttering around in the hallways. I was a lot more conscious than I had been when I arrived here, god knows how long ago. I still didn't want to wake up though, there was still nothing to live for. Nothing good.
"You know darling, I'm pretty sure he can hear you...Try talking to him..." I heard a friendly voice of a nurse, talking to someone beside me. She was right, I could hear everything, and kinda wished someone would say something to me, and not about me.
"Okay, thank you, I'll try that..." I heard a voice reply, I knew that voice, it was Heather, she seemed to be the only person who ever visited, but I wasn't surprised. I doubted mum cared, and probably no one else knew I was here.
"Dylan," I heard her say. "Dylan are you there...Look, I'm sorry about what happened, I'm sorry about how Callum and the others treated you, I'm sorry about not coming after you sooner, I hope you wake up soon, really, I do, I miss you Dylan. It's not the same." Does she really mean all those things? I thought to myself. No one had ever said anything like that to me before, in a way it was sweet, but I was also un-trusting, what if was simply because she felt sorry for me...My thoughts were interrupted by her voice again.
"I broke up with Callum the other day..." She mumbled. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew he was a douche, but why did she break up with him? Not that I was complaining much.
"You're probably wondering why" She went on, Fuck, Heather, mind reader or what?!
"We had an argument, he pushed me and I hit my head on his TV, he's a dick and I never want to see him again...And well, I'll just leave it at that."
I wanted to kill Callum now. How dare he hurt Heather, he's a cunt, a lowlife cunt. A part of me wished I could sit up, comfort Heather, talk to her and make her smile. But I couldn't even smile myself. There was another part of me that just wanted to die, here and now, get everything over and done with and save everyone all this trouble. Fuck it, they could donate my organs to someone who needs them, someone who actually WANTS to live. But I didn't do anything, I just lay there, strapped up to a heart monitor and IV, tubes in my mouth and nose, listening and being unable to say a thing in return.
After a while I noticed her hand slip into mine. I couldn't hold her hand back, and that damn near broke my heart, but it felt nice, it felt like someone cared.
I must have gone into one of the deeper parts of this unconsciousness, as when I came back a bit, as in, could hear again, everything had stopped. Heather was gone, the noise outside my door was a lot quieter, the room seemed darker through my eyelids, and all I could hear now was my heart monitor, it was beeping but getting slower...Beep, Beep, Beep, ...Beep, ...Beep, ...Beep...It went on and on, I felt myself getting more tired, I let sleep take over me, prayed for death and hoped it would take me soon.
It was as if I'd been out of it for mere seconds. I could hear the hustle and bustle of everyday hospital life all around me again, the nurses talking to other patients, stretchers being wheeled down the hallways, doors opening and closing, you name it. But I couldn't hear Heather, maybe she wasn't here yet, or was busy today? It felt kinda lonely without her, but I made do, she had her own life and friends to get on with. It wasn't fair for me to drag her down.
A while later, I woke up. It wasn't like in the movies, where their family is all around them in floods of tears, doctors and nurses flurry everywhere and the person sits up and says something momentous.
No one was there, no one was in tears, no one even noticed. I didn't say a word, or sit up, I just lay there and cussed silently to myself. The stupid blue-ish glow of the hospital lights were giving me a headache. I closed my eyes to shield them out, and felt tears streak down my cheeks, It's just the headache I told myself. I don't give a shit that no one's hear, or even cares. The only reason for these goddamn tears is my headache. I tried fooling myself. I don't think it worked.
About fifteen minutes later a nurse came in, saw I was awake, and started making a fuss, fiddling with tubes, asking how I was, patting my hair. Once again, I just listened. No one really cared about what I had to say anyway...
"You know darling, I'm pretty sure he can hear you...Try talking to him..." I heard a friendly voice of a nurse, talking to someone beside me. She was right, I could hear everything, and kinda wished someone would say something to me, and not about me.
"Okay, thank you, I'll try that..." I heard a voice reply, I knew that voice, it was Heather, she seemed to be the only person who ever visited, but I wasn't surprised. I doubted mum cared, and probably no one else knew I was here.
"Dylan," I heard her say. "Dylan are you there...Look, I'm sorry about what happened, I'm sorry about how Callum and the others treated you, I'm sorry about not coming after you sooner, I hope you wake up soon, really, I do, I miss you Dylan. It's not the same." Does she really mean all those things? I thought to myself. No one had ever said anything like that to me before, in a way it was sweet, but I was also un-trusting, what if was simply because she felt sorry for me...My thoughts were interrupted by her voice again.
"I broke up with Callum the other day..." She mumbled. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew he was a douche, but why did she break up with him? Not that I was complaining much.
"You're probably wondering why" She went on, Fuck, Heather, mind reader or what?!
"We had an argument, he pushed me and I hit my head on his TV, he's a dick and I never want to see him again...And well, I'll just leave it at that."
I wanted to kill Callum now. How dare he hurt Heather, he's a cunt, a lowlife cunt. A part of me wished I could sit up, comfort Heather, talk to her and make her smile. But I couldn't even smile myself. There was another part of me that just wanted to die, here and now, get everything over and done with and save everyone all this trouble. Fuck it, they could donate my organs to someone who needs them, someone who actually WANTS to live. But I didn't do anything, I just lay there, strapped up to a heart monitor and IV, tubes in my mouth and nose, listening and being unable to say a thing in return.
After a while I noticed her hand slip into mine. I couldn't hold her hand back, and that damn near broke my heart, but it felt nice, it felt like someone cared.
I must have gone into one of the deeper parts of this unconsciousness, as when I came back a bit, as in, could hear again, everything had stopped. Heather was gone, the noise outside my door was a lot quieter, the room seemed darker through my eyelids, and all I could hear now was my heart monitor, it was beeping but getting slower...Beep, Beep, Beep, ...Beep, ...Beep, ...Beep...It went on and on, I felt myself getting more tired, I let sleep take over me, prayed for death and hoped it would take me soon.
It was as if I'd been out of it for mere seconds. I could hear the hustle and bustle of everyday hospital life all around me again, the nurses talking to other patients, stretchers being wheeled down the hallways, doors opening and closing, you name it. But I couldn't hear Heather, maybe she wasn't here yet, or was busy today? It felt kinda lonely without her, but I made do, she had her own life and friends to get on with. It wasn't fair for me to drag her down.
A while later, I woke up. It wasn't like in the movies, where their family is all around them in floods of tears, doctors and nurses flurry everywhere and the person sits up and says something momentous.
No one was there, no one was in tears, no one even noticed. I didn't say a word, or sit up, I just lay there and cussed silently to myself. The stupid blue-ish glow of the hospital lights were giving me a headache. I closed my eyes to shield them out, and felt tears streak down my cheeks, It's just the headache I told myself. I don't give a shit that no one's hear, or even cares. The only reason for these goddamn tears is my headache. I tried fooling myself. I don't think it worked.
About fifteen minutes later a nurse came in, saw I was awake, and started making a fuss, fiddling with tubes, asking how I was, patting my hair. Once again, I just listened. No one really cared about what I had to say anyway...
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