FicWad

Chester Bennington My number one fan
I hardly slept all night and when I did I was plagued with the most horrific nightmares…The worst of all came just before Ella woke me.
***　
"Ella" I screamed into the night as I looked at the now empty parking lot. I ran around looking for any sign of her but to no avail…"Ella……" I shouted until my lungs ached. Where was she? This was where it happened I knew it was…. How could I have let Phil do this to her? How had I failed her so badly when she needed me the most?. And where were the guys? They had been here before… When we had left the club and headed for the van. They heard her scream just as we had before and we had all charged after her just like we had all those years ago. So where are they now? We can't end this nightmare if we aren't all together."Ella" I cried softly as I laid my head on my knees and hugged them tightly as tears burned their way down my already wet cheeks

"Chaz, wake up honey."I felt myself being shaken; I opened my eyes slowly finding it hard to get out panic I was in. It was hard to discern between my dream and reality. Until I saw her and the sad look that was etched on her face

."Chester are you ok?"That's when I rubbed my face and felt the still wet tears that ran down my cheeks.　 I didn't know what to say to her all I wanted to do was reach out for her and hold her tightly and hold her forever. But I didn't know how she would feel if I did. So I just looked at her and told her I was fine. That I had just had a bad dream but it was all forgotten now. But I still held all that fear, and the ache in my heart would not leave me.
I had chance to take a shower before Shannon even got out of bed. I was sat at the kitchen table deep in thought when she walked into the room

."Morning Chester" She said with a great big smile on her face but you could still see all the worry from the night before stretched across her young face. God I felt so guilty why I had upset their lives so badly, and dragged them half way across the country. I really was the world's most selfish bastard. They really where better off without me ever walking back into their lives. Ella was a nervous wreck now and Shannon was afraid her mother was going to get sick again. And I really wasn't doing much better myself I was so scared of losing Ella again that the dreams I thought I had put behind me so long ago the ones where me and the guys were not there to help her that night are plaguing me again. I really thought I was over all this ‘come on Chester’ I said to myself you need to be strong for them now… Don't crumble again or you will lose them for good this time.
　
"Chester?"Shannon said again as she shook my shoulder

."What, Oh sorry honey I was miles away good morning” I told her as I pulled her into a hug I held her tightly until she giggled out that I was squishing her.

As we sat down to eat breakfast she talked none stop and I could see that the previous nights fear had slipped away for now. I wished mine were as easy forgotten they just wouldn't leave and I know I was letting my feelings show to at least one person, as I looked across the table where Ella was staring at me her eyes burning into mine. As if she was trying to pick out what I was thinking with just a look.
　
"How would you guys like to go out for the day with me?"I asked trying to get Ella stop her attempts at mind reading. Shannon's face instantly lit up.

"Can we go to Disney land Mom" She asked with a great big smile on her face. And I couldn't help but laugh at the puppy dog eyes she was giving Ella.

And with that the black mood was broken Ella agreed and we where off for a family day out, our first ever and I for one was looking forward to it more than either one of them could ever imagine.

The day was amazing even though we had to line up forever to go on any ride and despite Ella accusing me of being a bigger kid then Shannon every time I whined to go on every ride I saw. I really did love theme parks and all the happy family's that walked around with huge smiles on their faces. And all the characters that walked around the place trying their best to amuse the children only to end up getting there asses kicked, it was funny really.

At one point I was nearly the one kicking some guy in a Mickey Mouse suit's ass he wouldn't leave Ella alone he kept putting his arms around her and messing with her hair. I could see that it was really bothering her. So I walked up to calmly and asked him to quit it or I was going to see his supervisor.
　
“sorry Mr Bennington I was just trying to make sure your family had a good time, I didn't mean to bother anyone" So we just walked away and enjoyed the rest of the day and he didn't bother us anymore even though he seemed to be everywhere we went. There had to be more than one guy? I thought as we ran into him one last time as we exited the gate to make our way home.

Thanks Chester I had the best day ever today. Can we do it again sometime please?"Shannon asked me with the biggest puppy dog eyes ever. And how could I say no to that.

"Of course we can honey I had fun to. But only if it's ok with your mom."I told her, I was so happy that she had a great time it took her mind off the bad things from the previous night. I think it did Ella's for a while as well. And I knew that I felt a hell of a lot better than I did this morning.　She just looked at me with a huge smile on her face. Whatever had happened throughout the day had really changed her mood and I had my old Ella back at least for now.

"I would love to Chaz I really had fun today. I forgot how much I missed just hanging out with you. And I know Shannon deserves a mom that isn't afraid of her own shadow now." Hearing her say that made me the happiest man on the planet. Not only did my daughter want to spend more time with me. But Ella wanted to as well and I wanted nothing more in the world then to spend as much time as I could with the women that I loved.
"Well I better let you guys get in" I said hoping that the sadness that I felt at leaving then didn't show in my voice.
　"Chester do you want to stay for dinner I kind of don't want the fun to end there." Ella asked me and I had to take a breath before I screamed at her that I would love to. I know I would have sounded like some pathetic loser but then again she always did like the way I screamed I guess a lot of people must do or there would be no linkin park.

"Yeah I would like that, but I can't stay to long I have to head over to Mikes house later. We have a band meeting or some shit like that." I thought I could sense a change in Ella as we left the car and walked into the house

.As we sat over dinner I knew there was something really wrong with Ella and I knew it was because I had to leave. God damn Mike why did he have to choose tonight for the fucking meeting What the hell was there to talk about anyway, we had just got back off tour and I thought we had all agreed on taking a rest for a while. Brad and Rob where exhausted and so was I but Mike always was the workaholic. Did he never get tired? It was as if he was some kind of damn robot.
The silence was getting to much for me , I never was one for too much quiet it made me uncomfortable most of all when I thought I had caused it

."Ella are you ok sweetie? You know if you don't feel like being on your own I can stay."I couldn't read the look on her face but I knew I must have said something wrong because her eyes had clouded over and tears looked as if they were about to spill any moment… Well done Chester great way to make a bad situation worse I told myself as I looked deep into her eyes.

"Chaz its ok we'll be ok on our own, anyway the band need you right now. Go and hang out with your friends and get a good night’s sleep you're going to need it you have to be here to take Shannon to school tomorrow and have her afterwards. So you're going to need all the energy you can get."She said with a smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes.

Even after all these years of being apart she couldn't fool me. The rest of dinner was filled with light chat I knew she was trying to take her mind off being in the house alone. And I knew she was nervous about her first day at work. But what could I do if she wouldn't listen to me; she could be so stubborn sometimes.　 As Ella walked me to the door I thought I would give it one more shot at staying.　

"Are you sure Ella? Really I can stay if you want me to the meeting won’t be anything that can't wait." I told her, trying to convince her into letting me stay.

"Yes Chester I'm sure honestly I am going to take a bath and get an early night it's my first day back at work tomorrow. It won't look good if I walk in there after all these years and fall asleep at my desk" I can't help but admit I was disappointed and at this point I really didn't know if I was doing it for her or for me. All I knew was that this was where I wanted to be not with Mike and the rest of the band. But I gave in anyway couldn't force myself on her and stay when she didn't want me to. So I bent down and gave Shannon a great big hug and kiss and told her I would see her in the morning.

　"Night Ella you can reach me on my cell or at Mikes if you need me." Before I walked away I kissed her on the cheek and I immediately felt her tense up as my lips brushed her soft skin. I felt awful because it felt amazing to me but I think it scared her.
　
"Bye Chester have a good night and make sure to tell Mike and the guys that I said not to get you to drunk or they will have me to deal with if Shannon doesn't get to school in the morning."As I walked down the drive I had never felt so alone in my life and I knew I needed to talk to someone about all the feelings that had come back to haunt me. And I knew the only person who would take me seriously was Mike, he would know how to deal with everything he always did.
I can't believe I made him go when all I wanted was for him to stay here with me. I almost feel like I pushed him out because I am sure he never would have left if I hadn't told him to.　

I couldn't believe how beautiful he looked as he walked down the drive. He really was everything I wanted in a man, and only now did I know, he had always been.

"Mom, are you going to go out and ask Chester to come back?"　
She looked at me with almost pleading eyes. I knew she was happy to have her father in her life at long last. And I knew she had grown fond of him over the past few weeks as I had again. But we had to face the fact that Chester had his own life, and though woven in with ours forever. He deserved space to himself, no matter how much Shannon and I hated it.

　********

Chester's P.O.V

As I pressed the buzzer on Mike's gate and waited for his reply I wondered how he was going to take the news that I was in love with Ella again. He had been there through all my pain and heat break all those years ago. He had been almost over protective towards me ever since how would he feel about this turn of events.

"Hello" Mike's voice came over the intercom.
"Hey Mikey its Chaz can you let me?" I tapped my foot impatiently on the ground as I waited for Mike to open the gate.　
"Come on Mike what the hell you playing at." I asked the intercom wishing he would hurry up and answer. And all I could hear was Joe laughing on the other end of the line. I couldn't believe they were messing with me now.
"Joe I know that's you now quit messing I need to use the bathroom." I lied but to my surprise Joe actually bought it and opened the gates.
As I walked through them and up to Mike's front door I swore I was going to kick Joe's ass. Luckily for our Dj it was Mike that answered the door.

"Hey Chaz, How's it going."
Mike asked me as I walked through the door. I am sure from the moment he saw my face he knew something was wrong.
"Hi Mike what's with this meeting then?"
"Well I kind of thought it would just be nice for us guys to hang out and catch up. I guess we haven't done that in a while and we all have things I'm sure we want to tell one another."
I knew there was more to this then the band. I also know that that little speech was saved just for me. I bet the other guys know nothing about this, I bet Mike just asked them to drop by and hang out.
I was kind of pissed at Mike for his forwardness I know I wanted to talk to him about all the things that had been happening since Ella had come back into my life. But he had a nerve just summoning me here under the impression we were going to talk about the band.

"Yeah Mike I'm sure we do. But can I at least get a drink first?"
"Yeah sure dude… this way." Mike told me why was he acting so strange. I knew where the kitchen was I had been here so many late nights just drinking beer and writing songs. Oh well whatever is wrong with him I am sure I will find out soon.

*****

Ella's P.O.V

"Night Shannon I love you."
I said as I walked out of her bedroom and turned off the light. She seemed to be enjoying living here near her dad. Nothing seemed to faze her she just took every day in her stride; I wish I could be like her more sometimes. It's her first day at her new school tomorrow and I know she will fit straight in and be comfortable enough around all those new people. But it is going to be my first day back at work in LA tomorrow and I am just terrified. What if I just don't fit in there? I will be working with a few people I started out at the company with years ago. And they will have progressed so far in their careers. But I on the other hand am back to square one in the same damn job I left years ago. How will I look to all the others? I can tell you I will look like a loser.

　You can bet all the good bands are taken and I will be left with the scrapings from the bottom of the barrel. No matter what I have been told, I know they are going to struggle to trust me with any band that have a chance of making the big time. Because I had my shot when I had a very up and coming band before and I ran off and let them down when they needed me the most.

I had started to feel down now so I knew what was for the best and that was a shower and bed. At least I can't worry when I am asleep right?　 　

*****
Chester's P.O.V

After a few beers I had finally got over my anger at Mike. The guys had all been playing video games all night so it was just me and Mike alone in the kitchen. So I thought now was the best time to ask his advice…It was now or never.


"Mike you know you said we should all catch up on things. I know that you just meant you wanted to know what was going on with me Ella and Shannon. And I have to admit I need your help man." Mike just sat across the table looking worried about something. I had never seen him look that way before, Mike never let anything bother him…..Or at least he never showed it.　

"You know I am here for you man." he said the smile returning to his face.　

"Well I am starting to fall in love with Ella again. I have tried so hard not to let the feelings come back but I just can't fight it anymore…The more time we spend together the harder it is for me to leave… I wasn't sure whether it was because I wanted to take care of her. Or felt sorry for her because of all the bad things that are happening to her. But now I know that its love." Mike just looked across the table at me then he smiled.　

"That's awesome man, how does she feel about it?"
It was my turn to stare this time at him. How the hell would I know I hadn't told her?

"I haven't told her yet; I don't know how she will react to it… I mean you know how frightened she is of men after Phil……."

"Yeah I know man but she isn't afraid of you. She never has been and I think she feels the same way. If she didn't she would have been with someone else by now. And you can’t tell me she is scared of men but she would have got over that if she wasn't still in love with you."
"So what do you think I should do?" I asked as I looked at him.

"You need to tell her now." He looked like he was worried about something again. And I needed to know what was wrong.

"It's your turn now Mike spill… What's on your mind you have been looking worried all night."
"Chaz I was talking to a friend of mine this afternoon and he said that he had seen Phil last night in a bar. He said he had changed, but he knew it was him."

The minute mike had stopped talking I knew I wanted to run to Ella's but what excuse could I give for going back there now without worrying her.

"I've got to go Mike." I said and I was up and out of the door faster than he could blink.