FicWad

Chapter 2

My reverie was interrupted as I felt a movement on the bed next to me. I blinked, disoriented. Where was I? Oh yes. Hotel, with Gerard. Gerard, who was now lying next to me, his arms wrapped around my waist. He leaned in close to my neck.

"What were you thinking about, babe?Hm?" he whispered into my ear. His warm breath tickled and the tiny hairs on my neck stood up on end. I shivered.

"Frankie?" Gerard tugged on my shoulder to roll me over so that I was facing him. He gave me a look of concern and touched his fingertips to my cheek. When he pulled them away, they came back wet. Gerard looked puzzled for a moment. "Were you crying?" I frowned. Icertainly didn't remember crying... but I guess I had been. Weird.

"I suppose I was. And I was just thinking about how we, you know, started dating, and all that you've been through. It makes me sad to think about how you used to drink." I had to bite my lip to keep the ever present tears in their place.

"Aww, Frankie." Gerard pulled me in closer to him and hugged me tight. "Don't worry about such things. That's all over and done with."

"But you still smoke... a lot." That was another thing that bothered me. I knew that it was good he'd given up alcohol, but his nicotine addiction could be just as deadly. Whenever I talked to Gee about it, he'd brush it off and tell me that coffee and cigarettes are arecovering alcoholic's best friend. I would always tell him that I didn't have a problem with coffee.

Gerard sighed and took my face in his hands. "I know you don't like me smoking, but I can't be perfect, alright?I try for you, I really do, but there are only so many things I can give up. And at this point, cigarettes are not one of those things."

"Will they ever be?"

"I dunno, Frankie. I know how much you want me to stop. But don't worry. Something sosimple as smoking can't kill me. I'm too strong for that." He said this so persuasively that I was tempted to believe him. But I knew better. I also knew better than to argue with Gerard. He was just as stubborn as I was, if not more so. But it still bothered me.

"But Gee, don't you worry about what will happen if you keep smoking?" I asked.

He laughed. "Frank, I'm having too good a time today to be worrying about tomorrow. Now shut up and kiss me, you animal."With that, he placed his chapped lips on mine. Begrudgingly, I returned the kiss. By this time, I'd gotten used to his distinct taste of smoke and coffee. Gerard's hands travelled down my sides, and began to undo my belt buckle. Iwanted this, but we had a show tonight. And we were needed for sound check in just a little while.

"Gerard, stop. I want to, but it's time to go," I mumbled guiltily.

"Give me just a little bit of time. Then we can leave, I promise." He had my pants down to my ankles and was working on his own. I couldn't resist.

"Oh alright. Just because it's you."

Gerard grinned and ripped his shirt over his head. "And just because it's you, that's the only reason I'm doing this at all."

What seemed like mere minutes later, Gerard and I pulled into the back lot of our New York venue. I was driving, and Gerard was kicked back in the passenger seat, acigarette gangling from his fingertips. Although I hated his smoking, Icouldn't possibly hold a grudge against him. I mean, I loved the man, for chrissake. Noticing that we had arrived, Gerard turned toward me, a devilish grin on his face.

"Seeing that it's our last show of the tour tonight, I have a surprise for you. I hope you like it. Of course, you'll get it later," he smirked.

"I'm not sure if I want any surprises. You remember what happened last time you 'surprised' me," I said skeptically.

"Hush. You'll want this surprise,"he replied, and leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "Now let's get in there before the others suspect anything." At that, he pushed the car door open and started across the parking lot. I watched him go. I hated that we couldn't be public about our relationship. Gerard and I had discussed it, and decided it was for the best not to tell anyone, not even the boys. I had been okay with that at the time, because I knew that Gerard would get slammed for it, since he was "the head" of our band. But the longer time went by, the more I just wanted to simply hold his hand in public without being ridiculed. If regular couples could do it, why couldn't we? Whatever. There wasn't anything I could do right now, so I might as well go inside. I stepped from the car and hurried after Gerard.



*



"How the fuck you doing, New York!"Gerard's voice rang out loud and clear through the packed venue. He was greeted by the deafening screams of many fans that had gathered to watch us perform. From where I stood on the right side of the stage, I could see the enormous grin on Gee's face. I could tell how happy it made him to do this. And it made me smile to see him so happy. Gerard turned and winked at me as we struck the first chords of "You Know What They Do to Guys like Us in Prison."

"In the middle of a gunfight, in the center of a restaurant. They say 'come with your arms raised high'. Well, they're never gonna get me..."

I let everything else slip from my senses and I lost myself in the music. The pounding bass pulsed through me, and I ripped through my power chords.

"... Like a bullet through a flock of doves, to wage this war against your faith in me. Your life will never be the same. On your mother's eyes..."

I shut my eyes and bent my head forward, letting my pick glide freely over the strings.

"... Say a prayer, say a prayer. Now, but I can't. And I don't know how we're just two men as God had made us. Well, I can't. Well, I can't. Too much too late, or just not enough of this pain in my heart for dying wish. I'll kiss your lips again. They all cheat at cards and the checkers are lost. My cellmate's a killer. They make me do pushups in drag..."

Gerard's haunting voice filled my ears, and I relished in the sound.

"... But nobody cares if you're losing yourself. Am I losing myself? And well I'll miss my mom. Will they give me the chair? Or lethal injection? Or a swing from a rope if you dare. Oh, nobody knows all the trouble I seen..."

I opened my eyes to see Gerard slinking across the stage towards me. I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. He tossed his black hair back as he began singing the next phrase. It was all I could do to keep my fingers playing a steady rhythm on my guitar. He was just oh-so distracting, especially when he came right up to me like this.

"...We're just two men as God had made us..."

As he growled the chorus lyrics, he was so close to me that I could feel his warm breath and smell the cigarette smoke on him. Below us, the crowd was already going off the wall. Gerard finished off the song standing right next to me, literally singing to me. After releasing the last note, he turned and pranced off across the stage.