FicWad

Everyone stood around awkwardly. They cleared their throats and looked down at their feet. 
"So, uh.. CC? Care to explain?"
CC tapped his foot, before sighing inwardly. "Ash brought a girl back, and I-"
Andy raised an eyebrow, "Really? This is news?"
Jake interrupted "Yeah, CC. It always happens. Why choose now to have an argument with him about it? You've been cool before. AND we have a show tomorrow. What if he doesn't come back for then?"
"I was GOING to say, I over reacted. But you guys don't know what it's like. You guys are all happily involved and then there's Ashley who just sleeps with LITERALLY 3 different women a night."
Andy eyed Jinxx and Jake, an amused look crossing his face. "Wow. CC. Jesus. All that, for this."
CC groaned. "Jesus, Andy, back the fuck off.  
Jinxx inhaled, "CC, is-?"
"Fuck off, Jinxx. None of you had to get involved. It isn't shit do to with you."
"God, CC. Why don't you chill out? We kind of had to get fuckin' involved with your screams vibrating from the walls."
"Whatever." CC turned away.
"No way. I don't think so. We don't have any idea where Ash is, and there is no way you are walking off, too." 
"You don't own me. I can do whatever the fuck I want."
"Not when you're all pissed and fucking about to do some shit. Not when we have a show."
"Uh, Andy? What about Ashley."
"Give him a while. If he's not back an hour before set, we'll look."
"Nice plan, Einstein. Ever heard of something called 'Pride?' Yeah, Ashley has a lot of it. He isn't going to appreciate a nice little search party all ganging up on him and bitching at him."
"Shut the FUCK up, CC. Better plans?"
CC remained quiet, with a grave look on his face.
"I hate this. Fuck this shit." Jake muttered to Jinxx.
"I know." Jinxx mumbled.
"We seriously don't need this."
"I know."
"Jinxx?"
"Yeah?"
"Does your vocab stretch a little further?"
"Mmm."
Jake sighed and moved away, inhaling the frustration that gnawed at his mind. 
Jinxx went to sit beside CC who had his head in his hands and was breathing deeply.
"You okay?"
CC chuckled, "You care? Haha."
"Hey, that wasn't me. You know me. I don't want to get involved in that shit. All I said throughout the whole thing was beginning to ask if you were alright."
CC looked thoughtful. "I guess. I hate it too.. I just, I over reacted with Ashley and then Andy came in, all high and mighty."
"You know he just wants it to go smoothly."
"I also know he thinks he's the best."
"You KNOW that's not true."
"I do... I just," CC exhaled. "Never mind."
"Tell."
"No."
"TELL."
"I just think we don't get enough credit.. They all want Andy, y' know?"
Jinxx pondered for a minute. "I guess.. but if you want the attention, maybe this isn't the band for you."
"You really said that?" CC rose his eyebrows.
"I did."
"What would happen if I walked out to start a solo career?"
"Then.. We'd deal."
"It would be your fault for putting ideas in my head."
"Your decision."
"Hey, how pissed would he be of I became, like, the next member of One Direction?"
"I can not believe you know that band."
"You must know them too, to know its an abomination to know their name."
"Hmm. Pretty peeved. He always wanted to be one of them pretty girls."
CC and Jinxx choked on snorts and chuckles.
"I'm sorry, man."
"Why?"
"For starting this shit. I don't.. I dont know why I did that."
Jinxx inhaled. "I don't know why you did, either. But they were right. You've never been upset by it before. Why now?"
"I don't know. I guess.. God. This sounds so whacked. Um. I guess.. all throughout high school, I was the loser, y' know?"
"I can identify." Jinxx smiled weakly. 
"And know I'm here, with a great opportunity. And I still feel like the loser."
Jinxx rested his chin in his hands and both remained silent in a few minutes indulged in thought. 
"They don't think so." and Jinxx pointed toward the stack of fanmail, before standing up and walking to the bathroom to properly prepare for the day.. hopefully uninterrupted with squabbles and arguments. 
CC walked over to the letters, his mind cleared a little. His fingertips brushed the edges of the white and brown, big and small, lumpy and slim letters. 
The letter Andy had left on the table before was still opened, still as thick as it was when Andy had opened it. He understood right away why it had been opened, and left there. It was HUGE.
CC squinted his eyes and began to read about a girl named Anna, aged 14. 
She started with a paragraph on how much their music had gotten her through. How much she wished to see them live, etc.
CC smiled. These letters always touched him. He never got used to being told he was a role model to these kids. Maybe.. he did matter.
Anna talked about her family. School. Anna talked about someone on a search for themselves. Anna had tried to kill herself several times. And failed. She was desperate.
'Guys,' It read 'I don't know how I can go on. My parents.. I can't even explain it. They hate me. And don't think it's just teenage angst and getting told off now and then. They genuinely hate my guts. They punished me when I attempted. I hurt myself because it feels so fucking good.' CC had no idea he was clutching the letter so tightly in his hand, and when he did, he released. A little. 'I don't expect you to read this. I thought it would bring me some comfort. Awfully sorry for the length. I just needed to write it, somewhere.' In the midst of the letter, she talked about bullying. Being locked in storage. Being beaten.
CC's breathing had gone shaky. Because, at the end of the letter, signed, was 'I know how to fix this, so I never have to come back. But I'm coming to see you first. To live before I die. Ha. I will see you live in Ohio. I shan't enlighten you with my plans.. but no one will find me. And if they do, it will be too late."