FicWad

Frank`s pov
It takes me ages to get to sleep that night, absolutely ages. I lie awake under the warm covers, my headphones in for hours, just trying to block out my terrifying, unwanted thoughts and to keep the horrible images of Gerard laying, freezing cold in a gutter somewhere. Around four in the morning I eventually do fall asleep, but it was not a peaceful one, far from it. My dreams are nightmares, haunted by the same thoughts and images that scared me when I was awake. Gerard. what if he was hurt? It probably shouldn’t worry me as much as it did, seeing as I had only realised who the crimson haired, pale skinned boy was a short while ago, but I did care.
I cared too much, way ,way too much. That was the problem. He had been my best friend growing up, the person I was closet to out of everyone I knew, until we had to move that is, and, I now that I had found the once raven haired, green eyed boy again, I was frightened, no terrified of losing him again. I had barely just gotten through losing Gerard the first time, if I lost him again I wasn’t sure how I could cope. Although those perfect, sun filled days were little more than incredibly blurred memories now, I still felt closer to the boy than I had to anyone else in my entire life.
It didn`t worry me. I suppose it should have, my close feelings to this other guy, but I was unable to bring myself to care about it. We had been best friends growing up, so surly this close bond and these incredibly strong feelings of care, protectiveness and likeness towards him were only normal?
…
My alarm goes off far too early the next, damp, dismal looking morning. I groan and get to my feet begrudgingly, wishing I could go back to sleep. Outside the small window the sky was a dark, depressing shade of grey, and the clouds threatened rain, matching my low mood perfectly. I pull on my clothes in a hurry, not noticing that my socks were odd and that my muddy, once white laces were coming undone. Unable to stomach the thought of eating, not with my belly doing all kinds of turn and flips as I worry about Gerard, I grab my half empty bag and head out the door, preparing myself for another hellish day at school, where I would hopefully find him sitting there, beaming down at me like he used to as a young child.
When I arrive the school yard was full of students, some chatting away haply, others listening to music and a few, strange people anxiously waiting outside the doors, wanting to get to class. I scan the yard, eyes searching for any sign of Gerard and his cheeky grin, or for the familiar, happy sound his girlish giggle. My stomach sinks and I walk slowly over to the doors where a few badly dressed, pimple faced, rather geeky looking students were stood, eager for the day to begin, unlike the rest of us normal people.
“Hi.” A messy, curly dirty blonde haired girl with braces smile shyly at me. I had seen her around in a few classes, I think her name was Joanne or something like that. She was dressed in a black, slight frayed at the end skirt, over tights with some strange pattern on them, that were tucked into a pair of dark purple, doodle on converse. To contrast with the dark black skirt, she was wearing a bright pink tee shirt under a leather jacket that was covered with wired badges bearing pictures of cartoon characters and slogans saying things like “Save the whales” and “Stop stereotypes.” She seemed nice enough, from what I knew of her she was shy and quiet, smart and ambitious but not at all stuck up.
“HI.” I force myself to return the smile, not really in the mood. I was too worried about Gerard, I couldn’t see him, or the others anywhere. And
“You’re the new guy, right? I`m Joanne, but call me Jo.” She offers her hand, and I notice that her nails were badly bitten like mine and painted a sky blue that was beginning to chip off.
“I`m Frank.” I mumble, not wanting to seem rude, seeing as Jo seemed nice, but I was unable to fake any enthusiasm.
“You hang out with Ray, Bob and Gerard, don`t you?”Jo asks, surprising me.
“How do you-“
“I`m Ray`s lab partner in Biology. They all seem pretty nice, and he stopped some dicks picking on me about my braces a few months back.”
“Do you know where they are?” I ask, holding my breath, the thought jut suddenly coming to me.
Jo shrugs. “They sometimehas hang out by the bike sheds before school, or up on the field.”
The field. Of course. Why hadn`t I thought of it before? That was where me, Bob and Ray had hung out on my very first day here, before skipping the rest of the school day.
“Thanks!” I grin at the slightly odd, but pretty, kind seeming girl, who giggles a d waves me off as I race towards the grassy field, headed straight towards the shadowy, circle of trees. I tried not to get my
Hopes up, but I was sure that if Gerard was here today he would be there, crouched on the soft, damp grass, probably with his IPod on full blast.
“Hey, what`s the hurry?” the sandy haired, bright blue eyed, lip ring wearing Bob, asks me in a slightly amused voice as I abruptly stop in my tracks under the bright green trees. He wore the same pair of skinnies he had on yesterday, and a brightly coloured band hoodie. His bright eyes were lit up and he wore a wide, knowing smile on his lips that I didn`t quite understand.
“Hi Frank. What’s the rush man?” I sigh and turn to face Ray, trying to keep the disappointment and concern from showing too much on my face and in my voice. Gerard wasn`t here.
Suddenly the bright green leaves of one of the tall, old trees above our heads starts moving and rustling and a tall, pale crimson haired figure dressed exclusively in black leaps from the top branches landing on his feet with a smug smile on his far as he dusts himself off.
“Gee!” I gaps and rush over to the other boy, ignoring Bob and Ray`s odd, knowing looks that were burning holes in the back of my scruffy Misfits hoodie. He was alive, he was okay, he was here, Gerard was here. I had been so worried, I only now realised how worried.
“Frankie!” he giggles, his high pitched, infectious laugh and casually wraps one arm loosely around my slim figure. As he grins down at me while the others look on with knowing smiles.
“Are you okay, Gee?” I ask in a frantic voice, cursing myself mentally for sounding so needy. “We looked for you for ages but we couldn`t-“
“I`m fine, I went for a walk then went home. No big deal, I just needed some air.” I nod, and he skilfully changes the subject to one about a concert that was taking place in a few weeks time. when the bell rings a while later, signifying the beginning of the school day, we slowly and regretfully make our way into the building, laughing and joking together.
I can’t help but feel like Gerard`s smile was a little forced today though, a little fake and unconvincing.