Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Speechless
Frank and I walk inside, holding hands, followed by a bright red Mikey and a slightly calmed down Ray. Mom walks out of the kitchen and hugs us each. I raise an eyebrow at her.
She shrugs and explains “I’ve been in a terrible mood lately and I’ve taken it out on you guys. Gerard, honey you know I love you no matter who you fall in love with. I was wrong to have said I wish things were different. Thanks to Frank you’re smiling again, and you talk so much more! I’m so glad you have him. And I love your Gramma too, I just… I guess I get jealous of the fact that you’re more comfortable going to her more than me.”
I nod and hug her again, not quite able to speak.
Mikey starts to fidget.
He’s…He’s going to do it.
Ray gently hugs Mikey from the side and nods at him, and then whispers into his ear. Whatever he whispered has Mikey grinning and blushing. Mom looks over at them confused. Mikey takes in a deep breath.
“M-Mom?” he says in a soft, hardly audible voice.
“Yes, sweetie?” She looks between them curiously.
“You’d… Y-You’d love me no matter what, r-right?” he stares down at his laces.
Her expression turns to concern “Of course I would, Mikey…what’s wrong?”
Ray wraps his arms around Mikey, from behind and mumbles into his ear “You want me to tell her?”
Ray holding him seems to have given Mikey the nerve he needed. He shook his head and looked up at mom.
“I’m in love with Ray.” He doesn’t even blush.
Her eyes widen as she notices the closeness between them “I.. But you’re not…”
Now he’s blushing, “I-I..w-well I-I… I’ve a-always thought I liked g-girls but… I’ve always loved Ray… I just…ignored it..”
Ray blushes too, “You’ve always loved me?”
Mikey’s cheeks redden more as he nods.
Ray grins and kisses Mikey’s cheek “I’ve always loved you too.”
“Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!” Frank teases.
Mom just stands there, shocked.
Mikey bites his lip “M-Mom?”
“I thought…you were the normal one.” She says, slightly dazed.
Mikey and I wince.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I ask angrily.
She just shakes her head and walks into her room, shutting the door.
I pull a crying Mikey into my arms, biting my lip hard “Shh…I-it’s okay, Mikes… she’s just in shock.”
Ray sits on my other side and rubs Mikey’s back “I’m sorry…”
Mikey looks up from my shoulder “Sorry for what? Loving me?” He stand up from my lap and grabs Ray’s hands, pulling him up “I’m fucking thrilled you love me. Don’t you dare be sorry for loving me!”
Ray grins down at my brother “Yes sir.”
Mikey pulls Ray into a kiss and I look over to Frank.
“You’re awfully quiet…”
He nods “I just…your mom…poor Mikey…”
I nod and glance over at them, tangled together, then back to Frank “Ray seems to have the situation under control, for now. I’m gonna go confront mom while he’s distracted…”
He nods “I’ll stay here and let you…”
I kiss him softly and lovingly. He kisses back and pouts a bit when I pull away and walk to mom’s room. I knock softly.
She sighs and opens the door “What?”
“We need to talk…” I walk in without asking.
She shuts the door and faces me “About what? How you’ve corrupted your brother?” she crosses her arms.
“Corrupted him? The boy has been head over heels for Ray since BEFORE I EVEN CAME OUT! I corrupted him? Really? Homosexuality is NOT contagious. And, by the way, Mikey likes girls too. What the fuck was that “normal one” shit about? I’m a fag so I’m abnormal? I’m a fag so I’m less of a son to you?”
She stays silent.
“What? Now that I’m talking and standing up for myself you have nothing to say? COME ON AND TELL ME, MOM! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?”
“Get out.” She says in a voice, far too calm.
“…what?”
“Get out. Get out of my house. Take Mikey if he insists on being corrupted. I won’t deal with it any longer.”
“Deal with it? He’s your son! Fuck what happens to me, think about Mikey! Mikey excels at EVERYTHING just to get your approval, and you’re gonna kick him out just because he’s in love? Moms please… kick me out. Not Mikey. Mikey doesn’t deserve this.”
”And I do? I deserve to have two fags for sons?”
I look her in the eyes “No. You don’t deserve us.” I storm out of the room, then come to a halt as I see Mikey smiling. A smile that I’m about to make disappear.
I bite my lip “M-Mikey… G-Go pack your things. Ray, help him. Everything, Mikes. Everything you want to have… Pack it… w-we’re gonna be a G-Gramma Elena’s for a while.”
Mikey’s smile disappears, as I knew it would, and he bites his lip “Wh-What?”
“I’ll explain later, okay?” I pull him into a hug “I-It’s all my fault I’m sorry.”
Mikey and Ray walk to his room, and I storm into mine. I punch the walls. I break the pictures. I kick holes into the walls. All as Frank watches from the doorway.
“Sugar, let’s get your stuff packed, okay?” He puts a hand on my shoulder, once I’ve stopped throwing my childish fit.
I just nod weakly and grab a large bag. I stuff clothes, and cd’s into it. He helps me gather my things. After we finish he pulls me into a hug. I hold back the tears threatening to fall. I can’t cry now. I have to be strong. For Mikey. I have to be strong. I knock gently on his door.
“Mikes?”
I hear a noise but it isn’t…words.
It sounds like… I listen closer, my eyes widen. moaning.
I back away from the door and shake my head “I’m imagining things.”
“Imagining things?” Frank walks out into the hallway.
I just point to the door.
He goes and listens at the door, and lets out a girlish giggle “And the first Way brother to lose their virginity is….”
I glare at him “They aren’t doing…” I stop, unable to finish the sentence.
Frank chuckles “Think what you wish, Geebear.”
I tilt my head “Geebear?”
He blushes and shrugs.
“Let’s go to my room… I can’t...chance hearing more of that…”
He laughs and pulls me into my room.
“Did I get my comics?”
He nods “All 993 of them.”
I scowl “Lonely nerds need comics.”
He pulls me close “Who says you’re lonely?”
I blush.
A while later, Mikey and Ray come into my room, hair tousled even with their attempts to fix it. Mikey’s bright red grinning face gives it away.
“So…” he mumbles staring at his lap, “We ready to go?”
“I guess, that is assuming you and Ray are done having sex.” Frank grins.
Mikey blushes deeply, then hides his face in one of my pillows.
Ray chuckles and pulls Mikey into his lap.
I groan and grab my keys then stop. I can’t help but inspect my reflection. Old and new scars blend together on my pale skin, dotted with more than a few bruises. Without thinking about it I lift p my shirt and look at the scar on my back. I wince, reading the word cruelly etched into my skin. I read it again, and again. Then again. I hear his voice screaming it. The screaming gets louder and the vision of the scar fills my mind. So much so, that I don’t notice myself collapse. I don’t notice my screaming. I don’t notice my tears. I do notice when Frank wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. He pulls me up from the ground and rakes his fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and fall asleep, finally feeling safe.
She shrugs and explains “I’ve been in a terrible mood lately and I’ve taken it out on you guys. Gerard, honey you know I love you no matter who you fall in love with. I was wrong to have said I wish things were different. Thanks to Frank you’re smiling again, and you talk so much more! I’m so glad you have him. And I love your Gramma too, I just… I guess I get jealous of the fact that you’re more comfortable going to her more than me.”
I nod and hug her again, not quite able to speak.
Mikey starts to fidget.
He’s…He’s going to do it.
Ray gently hugs Mikey from the side and nods at him, and then whispers into his ear. Whatever he whispered has Mikey grinning and blushing. Mom looks over at them confused. Mikey takes in a deep breath.
“M-Mom?” he says in a soft, hardly audible voice.
“Yes, sweetie?” She looks between them curiously.
“You’d… Y-You’d love me no matter what, r-right?” he stares down at his laces.
Her expression turns to concern “Of course I would, Mikey…what’s wrong?”
Ray wraps his arms around Mikey, from behind and mumbles into his ear “You want me to tell her?”
Ray holding him seems to have given Mikey the nerve he needed. He shook his head and looked up at mom.
“I’m in love with Ray.” He doesn’t even blush.
Her eyes widen as she notices the closeness between them “I.. But you’re not…”
Now he’s blushing, “I-I..w-well I-I… I’ve a-always thought I liked g-girls but… I’ve always loved Ray… I just…ignored it..”
Ray blushes too, “You’ve always loved me?”
Mikey’s cheeks redden more as he nods.
Ray grins and kisses Mikey’s cheek “I’ve always loved you too.”
“Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!” Frank teases.
Mom just stands there, shocked.
Mikey bites his lip “M-Mom?”
“I thought…you were the normal one.” She says, slightly dazed.
Mikey and I wince.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I ask angrily.
She just shakes her head and walks into her room, shutting the door.
I pull a crying Mikey into my arms, biting my lip hard “Shh…I-it’s okay, Mikes… she’s just in shock.”
Ray sits on my other side and rubs Mikey’s back “I’m sorry…”
Mikey looks up from my shoulder “Sorry for what? Loving me?” He stand up from my lap and grabs Ray’s hands, pulling him up “I’m fucking thrilled you love me. Don’t you dare be sorry for loving me!”
Ray grins down at my brother “Yes sir.”
Mikey pulls Ray into a kiss and I look over to Frank.
“You’re awfully quiet…”
He nods “I just…your mom…poor Mikey…”
I nod and glance over at them, tangled together, then back to Frank “Ray seems to have the situation under control, for now. I’m gonna go confront mom while he’s distracted…”
He nods “I’ll stay here and let you…”
I kiss him softly and lovingly. He kisses back and pouts a bit when I pull away and walk to mom’s room. I knock softly.
She sighs and opens the door “What?”
“We need to talk…” I walk in without asking.
She shuts the door and faces me “About what? How you’ve corrupted your brother?” she crosses her arms.
“Corrupted him? The boy has been head over heels for Ray since BEFORE I EVEN CAME OUT! I corrupted him? Really? Homosexuality is NOT contagious. And, by the way, Mikey likes girls too. What the fuck was that “normal one” shit about? I’m a fag so I’m abnormal? I’m a fag so I’m less of a son to you?”
She stays silent.
“What? Now that I’m talking and standing up for myself you have nothing to say? COME ON AND TELL ME, MOM! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?”
“Get out.” She says in a voice, far too calm.
“…what?”
“Get out. Get out of my house. Take Mikey if he insists on being corrupted. I won’t deal with it any longer.”
“Deal with it? He’s your son! Fuck what happens to me, think about Mikey! Mikey excels at EVERYTHING just to get your approval, and you’re gonna kick him out just because he’s in love? Moms please… kick me out. Not Mikey. Mikey doesn’t deserve this.”
”And I do? I deserve to have two fags for sons?”
I look her in the eyes “No. You don’t deserve us.” I storm out of the room, then come to a halt as I see Mikey smiling. A smile that I’m about to make disappear.
I bite my lip “M-Mikey… G-Go pack your things. Ray, help him. Everything, Mikes. Everything you want to have… Pack it… w-we’re gonna be a G-Gramma Elena’s for a while.”
Mikey’s smile disappears, as I knew it would, and he bites his lip “Wh-What?”
“I’ll explain later, okay?” I pull him into a hug “I-It’s all my fault I’m sorry.”
Mikey and Ray walk to his room, and I storm into mine. I punch the walls. I break the pictures. I kick holes into the walls. All as Frank watches from the doorway.
“Sugar, let’s get your stuff packed, okay?” He puts a hand on my shoulder, once I’ve stopped throwing my childish fit.
I just nod weakly and grab a large bag. I stuff clothes, and cd’s into it. He helps me gather my things. After we finish he pulls me into a hug. I hold back the tears threatening to fall. I can’t cry now. I have to be strong. For Mikey. I have to be strong. I knock gently on his door.
“Mikes?”
I hear a noise but it isn’t…words.
It sounds like… I listen closer, my eyes widen. moaning.
I back away from the door and shake my head “I’m imagining things.”
“Imagining things?” Frank walks out into the hallway.
I just point to the door.
He goes and listens at the door, and lets out a girlish giggle “And the first Way brother to lose their virginity is….”
I glare at him “They aren’t doing…” I stop, unable to finish the sentence.
Frank chuckles “Think what you wish, Geebear.”
I tilt my head “Geebear?”
He blushes and shrugs.
“Let’s go to my room… I can’t...chance hearing more of that…”
He laughs and pulls me into my room.
“Did I get my comics?”
He nods “All 993 of them.”
I scowl “Lonely nerds need comics.”
He pulls me close “Who says you’re lonely?”
I blush.
A while later, Mikey and Ray come into my room, hair tousled even with their attempts to fix it. Mikey’s bright red grinning face gives it away.
“So…” he mumbles staring at his lap, “We ready to go?”
“I guess, that is assuming you and Ray are done having sex.” Frank grins.
Mikey blushes deeply, then hides his face in one of my pillows.
Ray chuckles and pulls Mikey into his lap.
I groan and grab my keys then stop. I can’t help but inspect my reflection. Old and new scars blend together on my pale skin, dotted with more than a few bruises. Without thinking about it I lift p my shirt and look at the scar on my back. I wince, reading the word cruelly etched into my skin. I read it again, and again. Then again. I hear his voice screaming it. The screaming gets louder and the vision of the scar fills my mind. So much so, that I don’t notice myself collapse. I don’t notice my screaming. I don’t notice my tears. I do notice when Frank wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. He pulls me up from the ground and rakes his fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and fall asleep, finally feeling safe.
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