Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Professors Make The Best Machmakers!

I Know Our Professors Didn't Just NOOOO

by Master_Of_Disaster 0 reviews

The Hogwarts Professors have HAD IT! This is Lily's and James' finnal year at school, and the teachers are Hell bent on getting them together if it is the last thing they do, and Albus has even sta...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: James, Lily - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2006-06-22 - Updated: 2006-06-23 - 1867 words

0Unrated
Disclaimer: Got to go by the book, after all! Speaking of which, I own nothing! Just a few teachers and students that you don't recognize!CHAPTER 3: I Know Our Teachers Didn't Just.../Nooo/...


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At The Head Table

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Orlanda Hyphianne was impatient.

She wasn't usually impatient, but this was a special case. Her first class of the day consisted of two certain students that had united the staff in a way that spell-o tape simply couldn't achieve.

"Come on, bell! Ring already! Come on!" she hissed, stabbing her fork threw her eggs with undeserved irritation.

"Come now, Orlanda, what did that egg ever do to you?"

The Muggle Studies Professor turned her head, and glared daggers at Ashleigh, who had spoken. The Defense Professor was smirking at her, and tilting her chair back on its two rear legs. As always.

"You know," Orlanda said, smiling innocently at her, "that is a very dangerous habit you've picked up. Leaning your chair back on the last two legs, I mean. Wouldn't it be tragic if you were to accidentally slip one of these days?"

Ashleigh's eyes narrowed for a second, before she tilted her head up towards the ceiling, and wondered loudly, "What kind of idiot would purposely try to trip up a Defense Professor of all things? A Professor who just happens to know more hexes and curses then said idiot could ever hope to learn in her lifetime? A Professor whose wand could slip and accidentally blast said idiot to another galaxy: Oh. This. I. /Wonder/."

Most of the faculty and some of the students that had heard her sent Ashleigh apprehensive looks. In response, she scowled, and let her chair fall forward onto its front legs with a loud /BANG!/, which caused most of those in the Hall to jump a foot high.

Ashleigh smirked at them all and said, "I'm going to go set up my class. Do try not to mess this... situation up to completely." With that, the Defense Professor got gracefully to her feet, and exited the Great Hall, leaving an uneasy (the other Professors) and confused (the students) silence in her wake.

The silence was fortunately broken by Professor Slughorn after a moment though. He gave a proud chuckle, and took a sip from his goblet before speaking. "That Ashleigh always did have quite the flare for the dramatics, she did," the Potions Professor stated fondly.

The Astronomy Professor snorted derisively, and commented, "It'll be the death of her one day. I swear, that girl would mock the Dark Lord even if she was on the wrong end of his wand, and about to be /A.K/-ed!" The other teachers nodded their agreement.

"Eh, you got to respect her for it, though," Minerva allowed. The Professors nodded their agreement again.

"Enough about Ashleigh and her mystique, everyone! Today is day one of Operation: Get-Lily-Evens-and-James-Potter-together-before-we-all-loose-our-sanity-or-what-is-left-of-it! What is their schedule for today?" asked Aaron.

"They have my class first!" said Orlanda immediately, looking excited.

"No kidding?" commented Philip Flitwick, looking apprehensive. You could hardly blame him, either. The Muggle Studies Professor was looking like she had just held up Honeyduke's, and then consumed her takings in less time then should be allowed by the laws of physics.

"They have my class after that," Minerva put in.

"And me strait after for doubles," said Slughorn cheerfully.

"Everyone got a plan?" asked Albus, with the air of one who was about to attempt Mission Impossible without stunt-doubles.

"Yes!" the three teachers exclaimed.

"Good." With timing to impeccable for it not to have been rigged, the the bell rang, announcing it to be 10 minutes until class started. "Let's do this!"

All the teachers put their hands in, and then pulled them out with the cry of "BRAKE!"

The Mission Impossible theme song began to play, and the Professors began to make their way to the door with an unnecessary amount of rather obvious hand signals, summersaults, and suspicious looks around at their dumbstruck students.

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At The Same Time With The Marauders

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"Prongs, stop banging your head on the table," Remus advised, glancing around at the surrounding students before adding, "People are starting to stare."

James heeded the advice, and simply let his forehead rest aganced the polished wooden surface. "I'm doomed."

"Come now, Prongsie! You've had people you've pranked out to get you /before/!" Sirius protested.

"Yeah, but those people didn't control my grade point average!" insisted James.

"Good point."

"No! You were supposed to disagree!"

"Okay then, I'm sure the Professors weren't looking at you evilly /per say/." Sirius reasoned.

"Are you kidding me, Padfoot? They were /cackling/! It doesn't get much more evil then that!" said James, hysterically.

Sirius sighed, and threw his hands up in the air in surrender. "Whose side do you want me to be on? Yours or... yours?"

James glared at him. "Not helping!"

Their friendly bantering was interrupted by a loud BANG! That echoed threw the Great Hall. Sirius, Remus, James, and their surrounding neighbors all jumped about a foot in the air.

"What the bloody Hell was that?" demanded Sirius, recovering from the loud sound.

"It came from the Head Table," said a brunette girl to James' left.

The three boys looked up to said Table just in time to see their Defense Professor, Professor Silvers, throw a smirk at their other Professors, and some of the students in the front of that Hall that had heard whatever she had said, before walking calmly out of the Hall.

The Marauders all looked at each other. "Professor Silvers is scary sometimes." said James, solemnly.

Sirius shrugged, but looked at the door the Defense Professor had just exited with starry-eyes. "Yah, but she's pretty hot the rest of the time."

Remus and James stared at him in horror. "Are you crushing on our Professor?" demanded James.

Sirius shrugged. "She's only, like, 24 Jamie."

"She dishes our/ grades/!" Remus reminded him.

Before Sirius could answer to this, the bell rang. Instead he said, "Well, we had better-"

The word/ "BRAKE/!" echoed from the Head Table, and the Hall jumped once more. What they saw could only be described as creepy.

Suddenly, the Mission Impossible theme song blared in the Great Hall. The students could only stare as their Professors all jumped up and began to signal to each other, summersault in midair (which was an achievement for Professor Slughorn), and cast suspicious looked over their shoulders as they made their way towards the door.

When all the Professors were out of the door, it shut closed behind them. A ringing silence settled over the stunned students as they attempted to register what the Hell just happened.

"That was so wrong in so many ways," they heard Lily Evans said, faintly.

The students who were raised in the wizarding world, and had never watched Mission Impossible in their lives, were having it explained to them by their muggle-raised friends. The Slytherines, who were pretending to be disdainful, tried to eavesdrop on the muggleborns that were explaining the concepts of Mission Impossible to their clueless friends, so they could know what the heck /that /whole thing was about.

"We had better hurry," said Remus, after he had finished explaining what the Professors had been up to to Sirius and James. "We can't be late forrr..." he checked his schedule "Muggle Studies. And from what that little episode could tell, you guys need to really get a clue from that class."

Eventually the students filed out of the Great Hall in groups, and walked off to their classrooms.

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With Lily And Her Friends

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"So anyway, are you going to hook up with James this year?" asked Sasha with a grin.

Lily scowled at her friends as they began to giggle. "No way."

Aurora sighed, and rolled her eyes ceiling-ward. "Always the stubborn one, eh Lils?"

Before Lily could respond, Professor Silvers suddenly said, in a voice that was loud enough for the very end of the House Tables to hear, "What kind of idiot would purposely try to trip up a Defense Professor of all things? A Professor who just happens to know more hexes and curses then said idiot could ever hope to learn in her lifetime? A Professor whose wand could slip and accidentally blast said idiot to another galaxy: Oh. This. I. /Wonder/."

Lily, her teachers, her friends, and some of her fellow classmates that had caught was Professor Silvers had said, sent the Professor apprehensive looks. In response, she scowled, and let her chair fall forward onto its front legs with a loud BANG, which caused Lily and her neighbors to jump a foot in the air.

The Professor smirked at them all and said to the other teachers, "I'm going to go set up my class. Do try not to mess this... situation up to completely." And with that, the brunette Professor strode gracefully out the Great Hall's doors.

There was a moment's silence. Then, "Professor Silvers can really scare you when she wants to," commented Natasha. Those that heard her nodded in agreement.

"She's a great teacher though," said Lily, thoughtfully. Her friends nodded their agreement.

"Remember when she introduced us to the Unforgivable? That was so /cool/!" Sasha exclaimed. Her classmates who had been listening all began to recount the lesson with enthusiasm. Lily just frowned. Sasha caught it, and a second later she realized why.

"Oh! Lily! That was so insensitive of me! I'm sorry! I forgot your parents were..." the normally cheerfully girl wailed.

Lily smiled slightly. "It's okay. It was quick, and that's a comfort." Sasha gave her a hug just as the bell rang.

"We had better go," Natasha said hesitantly.

Lily nodded, and was about to get up, when she heard a loud call of "BRAKE!" echo from the Head Table.

Turning her head to see what was going on; Lily Evans was flabbergasted by the sight that she was greeted with.

The Mission Impossible theme song began to play, and the Professors began to make their way to the door with numerous hand signals, summersaults, and suspicious looks around at their dumbstruck students.

When the Professors were all out the door, it slammed shut behind them, leaving a loud silence behind them.

"That was so wrong in so many ways," Lily said, faintly.

The students who were raised in the wizarding world, and had never watched Mission Impossible in their lives, were having it explained to them by their muggleborn friends.

"As interesting as that was, we had better get to Muggle Studies," said Aurora, she and Lily having finished explaining what the Professors had been up to Sasha and Natasha, who were a Half-blood and a Pureblood respectively.

Eventually the students filed out of the Great Hall in groups, and made their way gradually to their classes.

"...so weird..." Lily heard Natasha mutter as she split from the group to go to Ancient Ruins.

Lily fully agreed.



YESSSSSSSS! I think I did okay! I believe this is my longest chapter as of yet. I hope it is as good as the others, and I hope you like it! Please read and review!Master of Random Disaster
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