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-If I Only Could Make A Deal With God-



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Mikey pulled his jacket tightly around him as the cold night air blew through his hair. He had to see her grave again. Things were happening so fast. First Spencer died... Then Gerard took his own life.

He had no one left. No one that really mattered.

The smile Spencer always gave him was burned in to his mind. It was rare that she let other people see her sad, or upset in any way... She was so much stronger than people thought but Mikey knew. He had always known.

Gerard was such a dark person. He had always been wrapped up in his art work, never in touch with the rest of the world. Mikey admired him for it and despite Gerard's problems... He had always loved his brother. Mikey stayed by his side even when Gerard decided to take up drinking.

Mikey didn't see an end to Gerard's alcoholism... That was until Spencer stepped in. She snapped Gerard in to shape. The drinking stopped. The violent imagery stopped. Suddenly Gerard was drawing things that made people happy. The images were beautiful, in a less dark way. The words he wrote inspired warmth.

Mikey felt more and more connected to his brother... until he killed himself. No one saw it coming, not even Mikey.

"What went wrong?" Mikey whispered for the millionth time that night as he stopped in front of Spencer's grave.

The warm tears dripped down Mikey's face as he realized he wasn't ready to see Gerard's grave yet. He just couldn't do it. He felt as if he had let both of his friends down. How could they just die while he uselessly stood by, unharmed?

"Don't blame yourself."

Mikey jumped, looking behind him to find himself face to face with Lily, Spencer's younger sister. Lily was the spitting image of Spencer. They were both so damn beautiful, so damn smart. "You shouldn't be here. Your mother would kill you if she knew you were anywhere near me." Mikey warned, wiping his tears away.



***



Gerard was standing next to Spencer, watching her stare at pictures along Mikey's walls. They were drawings. Gerard's drawings. He didn't say a thing however as Spencer looked at each of them in admiration.

That's when it hit him. The agonizing pain. He felt as if his insides were being ripped out. He gasped, attempting not to cry out. He didn't want to alarm Spencer. It was too late though. Spencer turned with a concerned expression, "Are you okay?"

Gerard nodded, bravely smiling.

Spencer's eyes widened as she looked down to see blood dripping from Gerard's wrists. "Gerard." She gasped out his name.

Gerard's eyes widened, "I never told you my name." He whispered, following her vision to see the blood dripping to the ground from his wounds.

"No." Spencer shook her head. "No, this isn't happening." She reached for something, anything... but her hands touched nothing.

"What did you remember?" Gerard asked, stepping closer. "What do you know Spencer?"

Spencer shook her head, "I don't know." She whispered, tears in her eyes. "I just know that I don't want to see you hurt. I never wanted to see you get hurt." She didn't know where the words were coming from but they were honest. She felt them. She just... didn't know why.

Gerard stepped away as Spencer stepped towards him. "Don't." He whispered hoarsely, "Something is happening to me... just don't come near me." And then... the pain stopped.



***



"Spencer?" Gerard whispered, looking around. He was in a graveyard. Spencer was no where to be seen. Gerard looked down to realize his wrists were no longer bleeding.

Then he heard the voices. He recognized his brothers immediately and stepped closer so that he could see what was going on. "She doesn't understand... he couldn't have done it." Mikey said, believing the words he spoke.

"Look at the pictures Mikey! Look at them... Look at them together!" Lily yelled, throwing pictures to the ground.

Gerard walked closer, peering down as he stood in between the two people.

Pictures of Mikey, himself, and Spencer were everywhere and then... then pictures of him and Spencer kissing. He had been dating Spencer?

"He loved her!" Lily stated, trying to make Mikey understand. She didn't want him to hurt anymore. She knew Spencer wouldn't want that. She knew Gerard wouldn't want that.

"Exactly! He loved her." Mikey said, shaking his head. "He never would have hurt her."

"He killed her Mikey." Lily whispered, looking away as the tears welled up in her eyes. "You need to face the truth. Your brother killed Spencer."

Mikey looked down at the pictures, tears freely falling down his cheeks. "You don't kill someone you love."

"It took passion for him to do what he did. It took love. To kill someone... it takes emotion." Lily explained. "We don't know why he did it but we all know that he did it. He was always a dark person.... You have to admit that. Something happened that night... something pushed him over the edge and he loved Spencer. He lashed out at what he loved. He might not have meant to but he killed her. He did the most passionate thing he could by taking her life."

Mikey fell to his knees. "Gerard..." He whispered, searching for the words. He couldn't face the truth. He didn't want to. He didn't want it to be the truth. "Gerard would have done anything for her."

Gerard now had tears building in his eyes as he listened to them talk about him. He wasn't a murderer... He didn't even know Spencer. These pictures... they were lies! These words... a fucking play put on by death himself. He didn't care. He couldn't listen anymore. Death was fucking with him. This couldn't be real. He wouldn't let it be real.

Unfortunately, even in death... You can't run from your own truths.



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(Sorry if this seems rushed. This is a mini-story so I'm trying not to drag it out. There is more though! Thanks for reviewing GAClive =) You're awesome, btw. I love your own unique writing style, you're quite talented!)