Categories > Anime/Manga > Neon Genesis Evangelion > Forgotten: Sorrow of a Pilot
The Discovery
1 reviewAsuka, after discovering something about Shinji, tries to discover the secrets of Shinji's dark and painfull past. In the process she grows closer to the boy and strives to help him bury his past.
2Insightful
Authors notes: I decided to change the title to prevent people confusing my story with the (in my opinion) much better written story of the same name by Hououza. Text in italics signifies dreams or visions, normal text signifies normal happenings.
Sorrows of a Pilot Chapter 3
Asuka squealed happily as she ran through the shallow wave wash, splashing and giggling as she enjoyed the warm sun on her face and the salty tang in the air.
It was her first trip to the beach and she was loving it. She never wanted to leave.
"Be careful, Shinji." Her mommy said. "Don't go to far."
She turned around and started running back to her mommy and daddy. Before she could reach them a large wave knocked her off her feet and dragged her underwater.
She instinctively began thrashing and clawing at the water that surrounded her, trying to reach the surface. Her chest burned for air and her eyes stung from the saltwater.
A pair of strong arms pulled her from the surf and held her close.
She started to cry and sniffle.
"Shh, it's okay Shinji." Her daddy said softly. "You're safe, I've got you."
She clung to her daddy tightly and eventually stopped crying. Her daddy kissed her forehead. "See, you're just fine."
"Let's go back to the blanket." Her mommy said. "We'll get you a juice-box."
"Duice-box!" Asuka replied happily
SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE
Icy cold rain fell from ominous black clouds in heavy drops and slashed at her face.
"I'm sorry daddy! I didn't mean to be bad! Don't leave me daddy! I'll be good, I promise! Please don't leave me daddy!"
Tears streamed down her face as her daddy ignored her desperate pleas and continued to walk away.
"Stop that damn whining brat." Snarled a harsh looking woman. "Yer comin' with us."
"I don't want to go with you. I want my daddy."
The woman slapped her across the face. "Yer 'daddy' doesn't want you anymore. He doesn't care about you anymore."
The woman grabbed her cruelly by the wrist and dragged her towards a black car.
"Quit draggin' yer damn feet brat! I haven't got all day!"
Asuka whimpered, both in fear and in pain.
"Stop that fuckin' noise!" The woman snapped, and slapped Asuka across the face.
Asuka forced herself to stop crying, fearing more blows to the face.
As they neared the car, a short, bald man climbed out of the passenger side door and folded his seat forward. "Get in the damn car." He snarled. HE grabbed Asuka by the shoulder and shoved her into the back seat, then shoved his seat back into place.
The woman climbed into the drivers seat, started the car and drove off, Leaving Asuka's suitcase behind.
Asuka wanted to call out, beg the woman to stop and get her suitcase, or at least her teddy bear. She hadn't gone to sleep without it since her daddy had given it to her for her third birthday, but feared getting hit too much to make a sound.
Asuka dutifully fastened her seatbelt, just like her mommy had shown her, while desperately wishing that she had her teddy bear to hug.
SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE
Asuka whimpered in pain as she peeled off her shirt, blood from her most recent beating causing the fabric to stick briefly to the ragged edges of the cuts on her back, and dumped it into the sink.
'It was an accident.' She thought while beginning to try and scrub her shirt clean. 'I didn't mean to wet the bed.'
The shrill buzzing of her alarm clock woke Asuka from the disturbing visions of Shinji's past.
Asuka quickly gathered her clothes for the day and entered the bathroom
'He deserves so much better than this.' Asuka thought, stepping into the shower once the water was hot enough. 'This city, NERV, EVA, his father, Misato, he doesn't deserve it.
He deserves to spend the rest of his life on some tropical beach, being dotted on by topless native girls. Somewhere far away from this godforsaken country.'
Asuka smiled as an image of Shinji, shirtless, toned and sun-bronzed sipping from a cocoanut cup while enjoying the view of all but naked girls.
'I wouldn't mind living with him on that beach, in a tiny palm frond hut.'
She moaned softly as her thoughts turned steamier than her shower and her left hand drifted below her waist, while her right slid up to cup her breast. "Mmmh Shinji, just a little harder.'
Asuka's fantasy was violently derailed as the shower suddenly ran icy cold.
"God damn it." The German girl spat. "Hot water just had to run out on me today!"
Asuka's bad mood grew worse when, after drying off and dressing, she entered the living room just in time to see Shinji leave the apartment, while Misato sat in the kitchen, clutching a beer and cackling.
Asuka growled under her breath, clenched her fist and glared at the dark haired Major. 'Maybe I can't give Shinji that tropical beach, but at least I can stop Misato's damn teasing.' She stalked over to Misato.
When she was close enough, Asuka slapped the can of beer from Misato's hand and stuck a finger into her face. "Listen you beer-swilling slut! Stop teasing Shinji! It's not funny, it's not nice and it isn't helping him!"
Misato's eyes narrowed. "Don't think you can order me around, little girl. I can assign you to twenty-four hour naked synch tests very easily."
"And I can very easily make your past 'hobbies' public knowledge all throughout Tokyo-3, even Japan if I want too.
Stop teasing Shinji, in all possible ways, or I will not only do that I'll make sure you don't taste another drop of beer until the tenth impact. Do you understand me?"
"Fine." Misato huffed. "I'll leave him alone."
"Good." Asuka said before turning on her heel and storming to the front door, where she donned her schoolbag and shoes and left the apartment.
She missed seeing Misato glare."Meanie." 'Damnit! HOw the hell did she find out?'
SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE
Asuka sighed softly as she slowly walked to school. She knew how vindictive Misato could be when she got angry, and had a strong feeling that Misato would be getting vindictive with her. 'As long as she leaves Shinji alone, as long as he doesn't have to deal with her teasing, I can take anything she throws at me.'
Asuka was so engrossed in her thoughts that she failed to notice that she had reached the school and walked all the way to her classroom.
"Good morning Asuka." Hikari said, jolting Asuka from her thoughts.
"Oh, good morning Hikari." Asuka desperately fought down the blush that threatened to consume her cheeks as the memory of one of Shinji's dreams about the Class representative surfaced.
Asuka was standing in classroom 2-A gazing out at the blood red setting sun, having just finished cleaning the room.
"Thank you for helping me, Shinji. You didn't have to." Hikari said, dropping her cleaning cloth onto a desk and walked over to her.
"It wouldn't be fair to make you clean up alone because Touji and Kensuke ran off.'
Hikari smiled, still coming closer
Asuka felt her breath catch in her throat, and her cheeks grow hot, when she saw the almost hungry, predator-like gleam in Hikari's eyes.
"You're a nice person Shinji." Hikari said as she caressed Asuka's cheek. "So much nice and more mature than the boys here."
Hikari slid her hand around to the back of Asuka's neck and suddenly kissed her firmly on the mouth.
Asuka moaned into Hikari's mouth when she felt the girls tongue slide into her own mouth. Hikari ran one hand up into Asuka's hair, and the other around her waist and pulled Asuka closer.
Hikari broke the kiss. "I see you liked that. She whispered huskily and ground her hips against Asuka's, wrenching a pleased groan from both their mouths.
"How about we get rid of these clothes," Hikari whispered as she un-buttoned Asuka's white over-shirt. "And have some fun."
Asuka felt herself nod.
"Asuka?" Hikari's voice cut through the dream/vision. "Are you okay? You spaced out for a minute."
"I'm fine. I'm just a little tired, didn't get enough sleep last night." Asuka sad with a slight blush Her blush deepened when she sat down and felt dampness in the crotch of her panties and on her thighs. She ducked her head, letting her hair hide the redness in her cheeks. 'I didn't know Shinji's memories could effect me like that.'
Asuka looked over to her friend, and saw her through Shinji's eyes. He didn't see her as an up-tight, anal-retentive bitch (the way several other students did) or as the overly studious, quite and cute Class Rep. (the way she herself saw Hikari). Shinji saw her as a kind, gentle, caring, smart and beautiful girl.
'He's got a crush on her.' Asuka thought suddenly, feeling her heart clench and her stomach drop. 'No. Crush is the wrong word. What he feels for her is more than a crush, stronger, deeper. He doesn't love her, yet.'
Asuka turned her gaze to Shinji, who had his shoulders slumped and head bowed. 'If it'll make him happy.' She thought sadly. 'I can stand not having him, being alone, as long as they make each other happy.'
The German pilot barely fought back the tears that filled her eyes once she realized that the best thing for Shinji may not involve a life with her. 'As long as he's happy.' Ran through her mind as she mechanically followed Hikari's 'Stand. Bow. Sit.' Command.
Sorrows of a Pilot Chapter 3
Asuka squealed happily as she ran through the shallow wave wash, splashing and giggling as she enjoyed the warm sun on her face and the salty tang in the air.
It was her first trip to the beach and she was loving it. She never wanted to leave.
"Be careful, Shinji." Her mommy said. "Don't go to far."
She turned around and started running back to her mommy and daddy. Before she could reach them a large wave knocked her off her feet and dragged her underwater.
She instinctively began thrashing and clawing at the water that surrounded her, trying to reach the surface. Her chest burned for air and her eyes stung from the saltwater.
A pair of strong arms pulled her from the surf and held her close.
She started to cry and sniffle.
"Shh, it's okay Shinji." Her daddy said softly. "You're safe, I've got you."
She clung to her daddy tightly and eventually stopped crying. Her daddy kissed her forehead. "See, you're just fine."
"Let's go back to the blanket." Her mommy said. "We'll get you a juice-box."
"Duice-box!" Asuka replied happily
SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE
Icy cold rain fell from ominous black clouds in heavy drops and slashed at her face.
"I'm sorry daddy! I didn't mean to be bad! Don't leave me daddy! I'll be good, I promise! Please don't leave me daddy!"
Tears streamed down her face as her daddy ignored her desperate pleas and continued to walk away.
"Stop that damn whining brat." Snarled a harsh looking woman. "Yer comin' with us."
"I don't want to go with you. I want my daddy."
The woman slapped her across the face. "Yer 'daddy' doesn't want you anymore. He doesn't care about you anymore."
The woman grabbed her cruelly by the wrist and dragged her towards a black car.
"Quit draggin' yer damn feet brat! I haven't got all day!"
Asuka whimpered, both in fear and in pain.
"Stop that fuckin' noise!" The woman snapped, and slapped Asuka across the face.
Asuka forced herself to stop crying, fearing more blows to the face.
As they neared the car, a short, bald man climbed out of the passenger side door and folded his seat forward. "Get in the damn car." He snarled. HE grabbed Asuka by the shoulder and shoved her into the back seat, then shoved his seat back into place.
The woman climbed into the drivers seat, started the car and drove off, Leaving Asuka's suitcase behind.
Asuka wanted to call out, beg the woman to stop and get her suitcase, or at least her teddy bear. She hadn't gone to sleep without it since her daddy had given it to her for her third birthday, but feared getting hit too much to make a sound.
Asuka dutifully fastened her seatbelt, just like her mommy had shown her, while desperately wishing that she had her teddy bear to hug.
SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE
Asuka whimpered in pain as she peeled off her shirt, blood from her most recent beating causing the fabric to stick briefly to the ragged edges of the cuts on her back, and dumped it into the sink.
'It was an accident.' She thought while beginning to try and scrub her shirt clean. 'I didn't mean to wet the bed.'
The shrill buzzing of her alarm clock woke Asuka from the disturbing visions of Shinji's past.
Asuka quickly gathered her clothes for the day and entered the bathroom
'He deserves so much better than this.' Asuka thought, stepping into the shower once the water was hot enough. 'This city, NERV, EVA, his father, Misato, he doesn't deserve it.
He deserves to spend the rest of his life on some tropical beach, being dotted on by topless native girls. Somewhere far away from this godforsaken country.'
Asuka smiled as an image of Shinji, shirtless, toned and sun-bronzed sipping from a cocoanut cup while enjoying the view of all but naked girls.
'I wouldn't mind living with him on that beach, in a tiny palm frond hut.'
She moaned softly as her thoughts turned steamier than her shower and her left hand drifted below her waist, while her right slid up to cup her breast. "Mmmh Shinji, just a little harder.'
Asuka's fantasy was violently derailed as the shower suddenly ran icy cold.
"God damn it." The German girl spat. "Hot water just had to run out on me today!"
Asuka's bad mood grew worse when, after drying off and dressing, she entered the living room just in time to see Shinji leave the apartment, while Misato sat in the kitchen, clutching a beer and cackling.
Asuka growled under her breath, clenched her fist and glared at the dark haired Major. 'Maybe I can't give Shinji that tropical beach, but at least I can stop Misato's damn teasing.' She stalked over to Misato.
When she was close enough, Asuka slapped the can of beer from Misato's hand and stuck a finger into her face. "Listen you beer-swilling slut! Stop teasing Shinji! It's not funny, it's not nice and it isn't helping him!"
Misato's eyes narrowed. "Don't think you can order me around, little girl. I can assign you to twenty-four hour naked synch tests very easily."
"And I can very easily make your past 'hobbies' public knowledge all throughout Tokyo-3, even Japan if I want too.
Stop teasing Shinji, in all possible ways, or I will not only do that I'll make sure you don't taste another drop of beer until the tenth impact. Do you understand me?"
"Fine." Misato huffed. "I'll leave him alone."
"Good." Asuka said before turning on her heel and storming to the front door, where she donned her schoolbag and shoes and left the apartment.
She missed seeing Misato glare."Meanie." 'Damnit! HOw the hell did she find out?'
SCENECHANGESCENECHANGESCENECHANGE
Asuka sighed softly as she slowly walked to school. She knew how vindictive Misato could be when she got angry, and had a strong feeling that Misato would be getting vindictive with her. 'As long as she leaves Shinji alone, as long as he doesn't have to deal with her teasing, I can take anything she throws at me.'
Asuka was so engrossed in her thoughts that she failed to notice that she had reached the school and walked all the way to her classroom.
"Good morning Asuka." Hikari said, jolting Asuka from her thoughts.
"Oh, good morning Hikari." Asuka desperately fought down the blush that threatened to consume her cheeks as the memory of one of Shinji's dreams about the Class representative surfaced.
Asuka was standing in classroom 2-A gazing out at the blood red setting sun, having just finished cleaning the room.
"Thank you for helping me, Shinji. You didn't have to." Hikari said, dropping her cleaning cloth onto a desk and walked over to her.
"It wouldn't be fair to make you clean up alone because Touji and Kensuke ran off.'
Hikari smiled, still coming closer
Asuka felt her breath catch in her throat, and her cheeks grow hot, when she saw the almost hungry, predator-like gleam in Hikari's eyes.
"You're a nice person Shinji." Hikari said as she caressed Asuka's cheek. "So much nice and more mature than the boys here."
Hikari slid her hand around to the back of Asuka's neck and suddenly kissed her firmly on the mouth.
Asuka moaned into Hikari's mouth when she felt the girls tongue slide into her own mouth. Hikari ran one hand up into Asuka's hair, and the other around her waist and pulled Asuka closer.
Hikari broke the kiss. "I see you liked that. She whispered huskily and ground her hips against Asuka's, wrenching a pleased groan from both their mouths.
"How about we get rid of these clothes," Hikari whispered as she un-buttoned Asuka's white over-shirt. "And have some fun."
Asuka felt herself nod.
"Asuka?" Hikari's voice cut through the dream/vision. "Are you okay? You spaced out for a minute."
"I'm fine. I'm just a little tired, didn't get enough sleep last night." Asuka sad with a slight blush Her blush deepened when she sat down and felt dampness in the crotch of her panties and on her thighs. She ducked her head, letting her hair hide the redness in her cheeks. 'I didn't know Shinji's memories could effect me like that.'
Asuka looked over to her friend, and saw her through Shinji's eyes. He didn't see her as an up-tight, anal-retentive bitch (the way several other students did) or as the overly studious, quite and cute Class Rep. (the way she herself saw Hikari). Shinji saw her as a kind, gentle, caring, smart and beautiful girl.
'He's got a crush on her.' Asuka thought suddenly, feeling her heart clench and her stomach drop. 'No. Crush is the wrong word. What he feels for her is more than a crush, stronger, deeper. He doesn't love her, yet.'
Asuka turned her gaze to Shinji, who had his shoulders slumped and head bowed. 'If it'll make him happy.' She thought sadly. 'I can stand not having him, being alone, as long as they make each other happy.'
The German pilot barely fought back the tears that filled her eyes once she realized that the best thing for Shinji may not involve a life with her. 'As long as he's happy.' Ran through her mind as she mechanically followed Hikari's 'Stand. Bow. Sit.' Command.
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