Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The General Said I Would Have Days Like This
500 Bottles of Beer on the Wall
1 reviewStargate SG1Harry Potter Sometime in life you have to do the one thing you absolutely dread to get the one thing you absolutely need or want, so you can do the one thing you have to do. And sometim...
5Original
Disclaimer: I do not own either the Harry Potter series or the SG-1 series; to be truthful they own me. I am their writing slave.
Bad Author Notes: this chapter is dedicated to Seulwolf a.k.a. Kim; who assistance, patients, knowledge and understand made this chapter possible. Hell it's her fault I'm writing this fic after all.
Yes I know this chapter is late but my Muse had a break down and took me with her and then I had a break down and she didn't go with me. I'll try to do better next month but no promises, I just can't get the shower and Janet to work out right yet.
500 Bottles of Beer on the Wall
By Lady FoxFire
June 25, 2006
Daniel stared at the video monitor, watching as Jack sat on the hospital bed, dressed only in a hospital gown, swinging his feet.
Noticing that Jack was saying something, Daniel turned to the base doctor, Dr McDaniel and asked "Does this thing have sound?"
Dr McDaniel growled softly. "Yes, it does," he said before hitting a switch.
"... takes one down and pass it around. 23 bottles of beer on..." could be heard coming from the speakers before the doctor turned it off.
"He started with 500 bottles," the doctor said with a snort.
"Well at least he's in good spirits," Daniel commented with a smirk.
"That man is a certifiable insane," Dr McDaniel retorted as he glared at Daniel.
"Well while Jack might be a bit... high strung I would hardly consider him insane," Daniel said.
"The Colonel claims have escaped on foot from a castle near the village of Abergwesyn," Dr McDaniel states as he crossed his arm over his chest. "This of course is impossible."
"And why is that?" Teal'c, said looking up from where he was examining the clothes Colonel O'Neill was brought in with.
"Because there is no castle near Abergwesyn," the doctor said raising his nose slightly in the air. "The closest castle is a number of hours away by motor car."
"Are you positive about that?" Daniel asked as he turned away from the monitor.
The doctor nodded his head with a wry smile. "Positive. My wife has a 'thing' about castles. I've been dragged from one side of Great Britain to the other, touring everything from mounds of dirt where castles once stood to ruins and castles still in use. There is no castle or remains of a castle near Abergwesyn, trust me."
Major Carter closed the medical file she had been given and turned her full attention to the base doctor and head of security. "What else did the Colonel say?"
The head of base security, Colonel Jason Campbell cleared his throat, his eyes narrowed at Dr McDaniel before the good doctor could open his mouth once again.
"He claims to have been taken by three men, one of which was a young man named Harry Potter who claimed to own the castle Colonel O'Neill escaped from," Campbell reported. "But just like the castle, there is no one by that name who matches the description that the colonel provided in the region."
"How can you be positive of that?"
"Abergwesyn is a small village," Colonel Campbell states. "Everyone knows everyone and strangers are instantly noticed. Add in the fact that the Colonel stated that 'Harry' had jet black hair and weird green eyes, we were pretty confident to rule out everyone by that name in Wales."
"This material is not leather," Teal'c interjected as he held up the pair of pants. "I am unfamiliar with it."
"Of course it's leather," the doctor snapped. "What else could it be?"
"That is the question," Teal'c replied, one eyebrow raised.
"He's right," Daniel comment as he examined the clothes, "and whatever the shirt is made of, it isn't silk or any man made material."
Colonel Campbell walked over and glanced at the shirt. "So what is it?"
"Well, when we find this Harry Potter, we can ask him," Daniel said as he continued to examine the clothes.
~*~
"...takes one down and pass it around. No more bottles of beer on the wall," Colonel O'Neill trailed off as his song ended.
The M.P., who was given the duty to guard the Colonel, sighed with relief.
With a sigh Jack hoped off the hospital bed, his hand automatically reaching behind him so he could close the gap in the hospital gown. "Whoever designed this damned thing had to have been a doctor, only they are sadistic enough to put the opening in the back and provide no way to close it," Jack mumbled to himself.
The M.P. snorted as he tried to remain professional and not to react to anything the Colonel said or did.
Hearing the snort, Jack continued with his monologue as he paced along the length of the room. "And stethoscopes. Why are they always cold? And why can't the doctor take minute to warm the damn thing up. Or do they just like to torture us?"
Jack continued on cursing the medical field as he paced back and forth, his hand clasping the back of the robe closed the whole time.
"I'm bored, bored, bored," Jack grumbled to himself as he read a medical poster for the fourth time. "Not even a damn two year old magazine to read."
Turning to the M.P. Jack asked, "You wouldn't have something I could read, would you?"
"Sorry sir, I don't, sir," the M.P. replied.
Jack sighed as he ran his hand through his short, graying hair. "I kind of figured that you would say that."
Jack pursed his lips together and made the sound of a motor boat in frustration.
The M.P closed his eyes and heaved the sigh that millions of parents sigh when their children start to act like this.
The Colonel continued to circle the room once again, taking in each feature that he came across as he wandered.
As he stood in front of a poster showing the inside of the human eye, O'Neill shivered once before turning around and walking quickly towards the door.
"I'm sorry, sir," the M.P. said as he stepped in front of the Colonel, blocking his way to the door, "I have orders not to allow you to leave this room."
O'Neill cocked his head to the side as he fixed at the soldier with a glazed look in his eyes. "I have to find him," he said in a flat tone of voice. "He needs me. We must be together."
The M.P. brow furrowed in confusion over the sudden change in the Colonel, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't. Perhaps the doctor will let you."
"No. I need to go now," O'Neill said as he tried to push past the guard.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you leave," the M.P. said as he stood his ground.
O'Neill stumbled back a couple of steps from the guard and blinked repeatedly as he shook his head. "What... what happened?"
"Sir?" the M.P. said in confusion.
"I... I..." Jack said as a wild panicked looked came a crossed his face.
"Sir?" The M.P. said as he took a step toward the Colonel, the concern he felt evident on his face.
Suddenly Jack's eyes rolled up into his head as he fell to the floor, his body thrashing about madly.
"MEDIC!"
~*~
"Code Blue in room 6! Stat!"
"Shit!" Dr McDaniel exclaimed as he pushed Major Carter aside and ran from the room.
Major Carter, Colonel Campbell, and Teal'c stared at the open doorway in confusion when suddenly Daniel barreled his way past them.
"It's Jack!" he shouted over his shoulder at them.
The others turned as one to look at the monitor. There on the TV screen was Jack on the floor, his body convulsing out of control. They watched in horror as nurses and the doctor rushed in with a crash cart behind them.
~*~
"He's convulsing, damn it!" Dr. McDaniel slid to the floor beside Colonel O'Neill's seizing body.
Dr. McDaniel rolled the larger man onto his side as best he could, giving O'Neill's body room to move as needed and keeping his airway open as they waited out the seizure.
"Why aren't they doing anything?" Daniel whispered to Sam and Teal'c as they slipped into the room and stood out of the way against the wall.
"They can't," Sam replied as she watched helplessly. "They need to wait until the seizure ends on its own. If they try to restrain his movements, the colonel will end up hurting himself."
"How long should that take?" Daniel asked as he chewed on his thumbnail nervously.
Carter shrugged her shoulders. "They vary. A minute or two... or longer."
"ColonelO'Neill has never had any inclinations of epilepsy before. Did something happen when he was abducted?" asked Teal'c.
"A foreign substance in his system that they didn't pick up?" Daniel turned worried eyes on his teammates.
"Possibly," Sam replied, a far away look in her eyes as she reviewed the medical file she had read in her mind. "Maybe something alien."
Teal'c eyes narrowed as he stared at something behind a group of nurses and other personnel.
"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said softly
"Hmmm?" Daniel said absently.
"I believe that there is something else in the room," Teal'c said as he nodded his head towards the direction of the hospital personnel as he quietly pulled out his side arm."
"All right," Dr. McDaniel suddenly said, "I need 1 mg of Ativan IM."
"Excuse Dobby," a soft voice could be heard from behind the medical team.
"Nurse, get me a set of vitals," Dr. McDaniel ordered as he was handed the syringe.
"Dobby said excuse Dobby," the voice named Dobby said once again, but this time it was louder and more forceful.
This time one of the nurses heard the voice from behind her. Turning around, she saw...
"Oh my god," the nurse gasped in fear. Backing up from whatever it was, she tripped over O'Neill's body, allowing the rest of the room to see what frightened her.
There standing before them was a two-foot tall creature with huge green eyes, wearing an odd looking uniform and what appeared to be socks on its ears. And floating a few feet above and behind the creature was the body of a young man whose body was suffering from convolutions, his arms and legs twitching in mid-air.
All activity within the room stilled as those within exchanged wide-eyed stares with the strange creature.
"Harry Potter's Colonel Jack O'Neill was bad," the creature said in a high-pitched voice that one would find coming from a cartoon character. "Run away. Hurt Harry Potter, sir. But Dobby knows how to fix."
The body behind the creature calling itself Dobby suddenly floated forward towards Colonel O'Neill unconscious form.
"Don't move or I'll fire," a young M.P. suddenly said as he burst into the room, training his weapon on the creature
"You no hurt Harry Potter, sir," Dobby said as he glared at the M.P.
The M.P. let out a strangled scream as he dropped his gun, cradling his hand against his chest. "It burns," he cries out, eyeing his hands in bemusement.
More and more of the people in the room tried to back away from Dobby, blocking view the creature and Colonel O'Neill from the line of sight of SG-1. The SG-1 was finally able to shoulder their way through the other people just in time to watch the body that the creature had brought with him being lowered onto that of Jack's.
With a sigh Jack wrapped his arms around the young man, and the seizure both men had been suffering ended as suddenly as it began.
Daniel looked over at the creature, which appeared to be smiling fondly at the young man it had brought. Daniel had taken a few steps towards the creature when a number of soldiers entered the room; their weapons pointed at the creature.
Dobby's eyes widened at the sight of the number of guns pointed in his direction. His ears drooped as he gave a quick glance at the young man and Colonel O'Neill before vanishing with a sharp pop.
Almost everyone stared in silence at the empty space where the strange little creature had been.
"What the fuck was that?"
Bad Author Notes: this chapter is dedicated to Seulwolf a.k.a. Kim; who assistance, patients, knowledge and understand made this chapter possible. Hell it's her fault I'm writing this fic after all.
Yes I know this chapter is late but my Muse had a break down and took me with her and then I had a break down and she didn't go with me. I'll try to do better next month but no promises, I just can't get the shower and Janet to work out right yet.
500 Bottles of Beer on the Wall
By Lady FoxFire
June 25, 2006
Daniel stared at the video monitor, watching as Jack sat on the hospital bed, dressed only in a hospital gown, swinging his feet.
Noticing that Jack was saying something, Daniel turned to the base doctor, Dr McDaniel and asked "Does this thing have sound?"
Dr McDaniel growled softly. "Yes, it does," he said before hitting a switch.
"... takes one down and pass it around. 23 bottles of beer on..." could be heard coming from the speakers before the doctor turned it off.
"He started with 500 bottles," the doctor said with a snort.
"Well at least he's in good spirits," Daniel commented with a smirk.
"That man is a certifiable insane," Dr McDaniel retorted as he glared at Daniel.
"Well while Jack might be a bit... high strung I would hardly consider him insane," Daniel said.
"The Colonel claims have escaped on foot from a castle near the village of Abergwesyn," Dr McDaniel states as he crossed his arm over his chest. "This of course is impossible."
"And why is that?" Teal'c, said looking up from where he was examining the clothes Colonel O'Neill was brought in with.
"Because there is no castle near Abergwesyn," the doctor said raising his nose slightly in the air. "The closest castle is a number of hours away by motor car."
"Are you positive about that?" Daniel asked as he turned away from the monitor.
The doctor nodded his head with a wry smile. "Positive. My wife has a 'thing' about castles. I've been dragged from one side of Great Britain to the other, touring everything from mounds of dirt where castles once stood to ruins and castles still in use. There is no castle or remains of a castle near Abergwesyn, trust me."
Major Carter closed the medical file she had been given and turned her full attention to the base doctor and head of security. "What else did the Colonel say?"
The head of base security, Colonel Jason Campbell cleared his throat, his eyes narrowed at Dr McDaniel before the good doctor could open his mouth once again.
"He claims to have been taken by three men, one of which was a young man named Harry Potter who claimed to own the castle Colonel O'Neill escaped from," Campbell reported. "But just like the castle, there is no one by that name who matches the description that the colonel provided in the region."
"How can you be positive of that?"
"Abergwesyn is a small village," Colonel Campbell states. "Everyone knows everyone and strangers are instantly noticed. Add in the fact that the Colonel stated that 'Harry' had jet black hair and weird green eyes, we were pretty confident to rule out everyone by that name in Wales."
"This material is not leather," Teal'c interjected as he held up the pair of pants. "I am unfamiliar with it."
"Of course it's leather," the doctor snapped. "What else could it be?"
"That is the question," Teal'c replied, one eyebrow raised.
"He's right," Daniel comment as he examined the clothes, "and whatever the shirt is made of, it isn't silk or any man made material."
Colonel Campbell walked over and glanced at the shirt. "So what is it?"
"Well, when we find this Harry Potter, we can ask him," Daniel said as he continued to examine the clothes.
~*~
"...takes one down and pass it around. No more bottles of beer on the wall," Colonel O'Neill trailed off as his song ended.
The M.P., who was given the duty to guard the Colonel, sighed with relief.
With a sigh Jack hoped off the hospital bed, his hand automatically reaching behind him so he could close the gap in the hospital gown. "Whoever designed this damned thing had to have been a doctor, only they are sadistic enough to put the opening in the back and provide no way to close it," Jack mumbled to himself.
The M.P. snorted as he tried to remain professional and not to react to anything the Colonel said or did.
Hearing the snort, Jack continued with his monologue as he paced along the length of the room. "And stethoscopes. Why are they always cold? And why can't the doctor take minute to warm the damn thing up. Or do they just like to torture us?"
Jack continued on cursing the medical field as he paced back and forth, his hand clasping the back of the robe closed the whole time.
"I'm bored, bored, bored," Jack grumbled to himself as he read a medical poster for the fourth time. "Not even a damn two year old magazine to read."
Turning to the M.P. Jack asked, "You wouldn't have something I could read, would you?"
"Sorry sir, I don't, sir," the M.P. replied.
Jack sighed as he ran his hand through his short, graying hair. "I kind of figured that you would say that."
Jack pursed his lips together and made the sound of a motor boat in frustration.
The M.P closed his eyes and heaved the sigh that millions of parents sigh when their children start to act like this.
The Colonel continued to circle the room once again, taking in each feature that he came across as he wandered.
As he stood in front of a poster showing the inside of the human eye, O'Neill shivered once before turning around and walking quickly towards the door.
"I'm sorry, sir," the M.P. said as he stepped in front of the Colonel, blocking his way to the door, "I have orders not to allow you to leave this room."
O'Neill cocked his head to the side as he fixed at the soldier with a glazed look in his eyes. "I have to find him," he said in a flat tone of voice. "He needs me. We must be together."
The M.P. brow furrowed in confusion over the sudden change in the Colonel, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't. Perhaps the doctor will let you."
"No. I need to go now," O'Neill said as he tried to push past the guard.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you leave," the M.P. said as he stood his ground.
O'Neill stumbled back a couple of steps from the guard and blinked repeatedly as he shook his head. "What... what happened?"
"Sir?" the M.P. said in confusion.
"I... I..." Jack said as a wild panicked looked came a crossed his face.
"Sir?" The M.P. said as he took a step toward the Colonel, the concern he felt evident on his face.
Suddenly Jack's eyes rolled up into his head as he fell to the floor, his body thrashing about madly.
"MEDIC!"
~*~
"Code Blue in room 6! Stat!"
"Shit!" Dr McDaniel exclaimed as he pushed Major Carter aside and ran from the room.
Major Carter, Colonel Campbell, and Teal'c stared at the open doorway in confusion when suddenly Daniel barreled his way past them.
"It's Jack!" he shouted over his shoulder at them.
The others turned as one to look at the monitor. There on the TV screen was Jack on the floor, his body convulsing out of control. They watched in horror as nurses and the doctor rushed in with a crash cart behind them.
~*~
"He's convulsing, damn it!" Dr. McDaniel slid to the floor beside Colonel O'Neill's seizing body.
Dr. McDaniel rolled the larger man onto his side as best he could, giving O'Neill's body room to move as needed and keeping his airway open as they waited out the seizure.
"Why aren't they doing anything?" Daniel whispered to Sam and Teal'c as they slipped into the room and stood out of the way against the wall.
"They can't," Sam replied as she watched helplessly. "They need to wait until the seizure ends on its own. If they try to restrain his movements, the colonel will end up hurting himself."
"How long should that take?" Daniel asked as he chewed on his thumbnail nervously.
Carter shrugged her shoulders. "They vary. A minute or two... or longer."
"ColonelO'Neill has never had any inclinations of epilepsy before. Did something happen when he was abducted?" asked Teal'c.
"A foreign substance in his system that they didn't pick up?" Daniel turned worried eyes on his teammates.
"Possibly," Sam replied, a far away look in her eyes as she reviewed the medical file she had read in her mind. "Maybe something alien."
Teal'c eyes narrowed as he stared at something behind a group of nurses and other personnel.
"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said softly
"Hmmm?" Daniel said absently.
"I believe that there is something else in the room," Teal'c said as he nodded his head towards the direction of the hospital personnel as he quietly pulled out his side arm."
"All right," Dr. McDaniel suddenly said, "I need 1 mg of Ativan IM."
"Excuse Dobby," a soft voice could be heard from behind the medical team.
"Nurse, get me a set of vitals," Dr. McDaniel ordered as he was handed the syringe.
"Dobby said excuse Dobby," the voice named Dobby said once again, but this time it was louder and more forceful.
This time one of the nurses heard the voice from behind her. Turning around, she saw...
"Oh my god," the nurse gasped in fear. Backing up from whatever it was, she tripped over O'Neill's body, allowing the rest of the room to see what frightened her.
There standing before them was a two-foot tall creature with huge green eyes, wearing an odd looking uniform and what appeared to be socks on its ears. And floating a few feet above and behind the creature was the body of a young man whose body was suffering from convolutions, his arms and legs twitching in mid-air.
All activity within the room stilled as those within exchanged wide-eyed stares with the strange creature.
"Harry Potter's Colonel Jack O'Neill was bad," the creature said in a high-pitched voice that one would find coming from a cartoon character. "Run away. Hurt Harry Potter, sir. But Dobby knows how to fix."
The body behind the creature calling itself Dobby suddenly floated forward towards Colonel O'Neill unconscious form.
"Don't move or I'll fire," a young M.P. suddenly said as he burst into the room, training his weapon on the creature
"You no hurt Harry Potter, sir," Dobby said as he glared at the M.P.
The M.P. let out a strangled scream as he dropped his gun, cradling his hand against his chest. "It burns," he cries out, eyeing his hands in bemusement.
More and more of the people in the room tried to back away from Dobby, blocking view the creature and Colonel O'Neill from the line of sight of SG-1. The SG-1 was finally able to shoulder their way through the other people just in time to watch the body that the creature had brought with him being lowered onto that of Jack's.
With a sigh Jack wrapped his arms around the young man, and the seizure both men had been suffering ended as suddenly as it began.
Daniel looked over at the creature, which appeared to be smiling fondly at the young man it had brought. Daniel had taken a few steps towards the creature when a number of soldiers entered the room; their weapons pointed at the creature.
Dobby's eyes widened at the sight of the number of guns pointed in his direction. His ears drooped as he gave a quick glance at the young man and Colonel O'Neill before vanishing with a sharp pop.
Almost everyone stared in silence at the empty space where the strange little creature had been.
"What the fuck was that?"
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