FicWad

Of course, getting kicked out of school for the sixth time in just under two years was not something to be really proud of, nor was it going to be a total picnic sorting things out with mum. She was sat in the driver`s seat of the second hand, shiny black ford fiesta, her knuckles a deathly pale white from her tight grip on the wheel. While beady eyed, bitter school teachers didn`t frighten me, my raven haired, dark eyed mother did. it wasn`t all the yelling that bothered me, or the empty threats of boarding school, but it was knowing that I had disappointed her. Yet again. I was worried that one day she was going to have enough of me and abandon me, just like he did.
We drive back home slowly, getting caught up in the works traffic. The radio was blasting out a very familiar tune, one consisting of screeching guitars and pounding drums. It was one of mum`s favourite songs, but today she just drives silently, too an grey to sing along. This was not a good sign.
As we wait for the busy road to clear of work and school traffic I stare out of the window, occasionally briefly glancing over at my fuming mother through blurred hazel eyes and electric blue tangled locks of hair. I hastily blink back the fresh, salty tears that were there, refusing to let the shameful drops fall. Crying was weak, and I Bandit Lee was not weak. I was many things, but at least I had my strength, if little else.
I peak cautiously over at Mum again; she was impatiently tapping her long crimson nails on the steering wheel, glaring at the congested road in front through narrowed eyes. Sensing that now was not the ideal time to begin to mention how sorry I was, I turn away again, closing my tired eyes.
I sigh and try to clear my weary, confused mind, but slightly blurred memories of past conversations creep into my brain, poisoning my already warped, twisted mind.
“You have to stop acting like this Bandit.” Mum had all but screeched at me, after my previous three day exclusion from Greenwood. Something about it not being correct uniform to turn up with bright blue hair and a nose stud.
“Greenwood is a very good school and this is your second, not first but second period of exclusion from it. Mrs. Turner assures me that if you put one more toe out of line, you will be permanently expelled.”
I remember this particular conversation well, it was a Thursday evening, around five and I was getting a right earful.
“Bandit, this is your final chance, alright?” Mum had told me in a harsh voice I hadn`t heard before. “No more acting up, I want you to get your head to the books and really try.”
I nodded slowly, narrowing my black coated eyes at her tall, slim form.
“You promise?”
I nodded again, sharply this time, really wanton to mean the words. “I promise.”
And I had tried, I honestly had, but like everything else in my short, boring as hell life, things just didn`t work out the way I had planned, the way I had wanted.
Mum slams the car door shut with a loud bang, and storms into the small, two bed house angrily, slamming the red front door shut in my face, leaving me to get my bag.
I enter cautiously, half of me wanting to just run back down the driveway and along the street without another backward glance.
“So,” Mum finally breaks the stony cold silence, kicking her high heeled red boots off and chucking them carelessly into the far corner. “Another empty promise.”She practically snarls out at me.
“Another good school more than happy to see the back of you. Another last chance thrown down the drain.” Her words hurt, but I refuse to let her know and throw myself down onto the smallest, charcoal leather sofa, kicking off my shoes casually, acting like there was nothing wrong. I was good at that, pretending everything was fine and perfect. I had a lot of practice.
“What the hell is wrong with you Bandit!?” Mum screams, glaring down at me evilly, her dark eyes narrow slits of hatred.
“Why can`t you just behave, Huh? Why must everything be a battle with you?” she pauses, and lets rip the most hurtful sentence I had ever heard since she had told me dad was leaving us. “Why can`t you just try harder?”
That struck a nerve. A raw, blood covered broken nerve. All my life I had ignorant people telling me to try harder, to change and be a better person. Like it was just that simple. Besides, I had tried. Loads of times. But even when I was trying me best, it still was never good enough because my dad, the one guy who was supposed to always love and be there for me, deserted me. Ever since then I gave up on trying, I just didn`t see the point. The innocent all smiles little bright eyed girl who had expected the world, the one who had actually believed in dreaming had died the day he left. She just crawled up in a dark corner and died. I guess the reason I gave up was because I finally realised that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to do something right, it just was never good enough.
“I don`t even know who you are anymore!”Mum groans out of pure frustration and collapses down onto the sofa opposite, burying head head in her well manicured hands.
Join the bloody club. I didn`t even know me anymore.
“I meant it when I said Greenwood was your last chance, Bandit.” Mum says after a deafening silence, in a slightly calmer, almost detached voice.
“I can`t seem to do right by you, nothing I do is ever good enough for you, is it?”She sighs, running trembling hands through her messy, dark hair. “Six schools in less than two years Bandit, and each one was pleased to see you leave. I`ve tried, God knows I really have.” She sighs again. “But it just isn`t working, is it?”
She shakes her head slowly, answering her own question. “Your so called friends are demons, and your behaviour and attitude just becomes worse by the week.” Ashe lifts her head up to look me directly in the eye, teary dark brown meeting emotionless hazel.
“Well not anymore, I’ve had enough.”
I feel a sharp twinge in my black little heart as she speaks the words. “Enough….enough of me?” I ask in a soft, timid voice.
Mum shakes her head slowly, closing her weary eyes.
“Bandit, you need to get away from here, go somewhere new where you really can have a fresh start.” My heart accelerates, beating madly inside my embarrassingly underdeveloped chest.
“I am sorry but you have left me no other choice, sweetheart. No arguing, alright, I have made my decision.”
I glare up at her, knowing already that I didn`t like the sound of this. Was she finally going to follow through with her boarding school threat?
“You are going to live with your dad.” She states calmly, before leaning back casually in her seat, switching the wide screen television on as though she hadn`t just said the most evil, life ruining thing that she could possibly say.