Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I`m On My Way To Believing

Love doesn`t walk away, people do

by XxxFallenAngelXxxx 4 reviews

“He replaced you Mum. He replaced me.”

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2012-02-13 - Updated: 2012-02-15 - 950 words

It was as though a nuclear bomb had just been detonated in our living room.
“No.” I tell the traitorous, raven haired woman firmly. “I am not going to live with that deserting, good for nothing bastard.”
Instead of pointlessly scolding me for my cursing like she usually did, she simply places one perfectly manicured hand over her pierced ears, ignoring my ear shattering screams of betrayal. I was furious, utterly livid. How could she even consider me going to live with the disgusting, waste of space I was sadly forced to call my Father?
“He left us!” I yell angrily, still in shock that my mother had even thought of the dreadful idea. Sending me to my father would be the most evil act of betrayal imaginable.
“I don`t want to see his stupid face ever again! And y-you promised!” I remind her sharply. “You promised the day he walked out on us that I would never have to see him again!”
“That was a long, long time ago Bandit. Years and years ago.” Mum sighs, raking a pale hand through her stylishly messy, silky dark hair.
“Exactly!” I shout, my raised voice shaking with fury, only adding to my deep loathing of my dad and anger. “I was eight years old, Mum when he abandoned me.” I clearly remembered that horrid, fateful day with full accuracy. Had been so little, too young to understand what was going on fully. All I knew was that my dad was leaving me. I had cried for hours, days even, screaming at Mum to bring him back.
“I was eight years old mum! And he just walked away!” salty, pain filed tears begin to form in my hazel, black rimmed eyes, tears I refuse to let fall.
“He didn`t leave because of you Bandit.” Mum tries to tell me gently. “Your Dad loved you very much.” She forces out a weak, unconvincing smile and I scoff bitterly. “He just no longer loved me.”
“Oh yeah?” I retaliate, raising one dark, plucked eyebrow. “What about all of those things you said about him then?” I demand, practically able to hear her furious, hurt screams of anger from all of those years ago. “You called him all the bad names under the sun. My favourite was the part about him being a heartless, deserting dickhead who could die under a rock.” I smile sweetly, reminding her of her long ago words.
She sighs for what felt like the millionth time that day, a weary, fed up sound. “I should never have said any of that. I was angry, hurt. My world was tumbling apart, Bee.” I was no stranger to feeling as if your whole world was tumbling apart; I knew that feeling very well.
“But I should never have said those things in front of you, and I`m sorry.” It was too late for apologies. I had stopped believing in them long ago. You see, after he had left, Dad had kept writing these long, winding letters, asking for forgiveness, pleading with me that he still loved me. I had shredded them all, and burnt all of the tinny, ripped pieces until there was nothing left of them.
“But you did say them.”
And she had meant it, every last, bitter, broken word. It was true after all; my dad was a deserting, heartless dickhead. He had left us, walked away without a second glance. I could never forgive him for what he had done, not even if I lived forever. I could live my life happily and contentedly without ever having to see him ever again.
There was no way in hell I was going to go and live with him. Or her.
“He isn`t really a bad man, Bandit. I have no bad feelings towards him anymore. He simply fell out of love. It happens.” She states calmly, as though she was forecasting the weekly weather report. “I know that he never meant to hurt anyone, especially you.”
I see red.
“You have to be joking, right?!” I snap at her, tiny, disgusting droplets of spit hurtling from my mouth. “He left us, he fucking left us! And then he replaced us with that evil, ugly bitch and her stupid, snotty demon child!” I take a deep breath, angrily blinking back the stinging hot, almost blinding tears.
“He replaced you Mum. He replaced me.” I whisper softly, a broken sound full of betrayal and agony.
Mum shakes her head slowly, the corners of her painted red lips curving downwards. “I am sorry you feel that way darling, but it is decided.”
That was when I really lost it. I kick forcefully at the cream painted walls, disturbing the fancy wall art that hung on them, cursing and screaming at the top of my aching lungs. I grab my coffin backpack and hurl it against the door, then a pale blue beaded cushion and throw it roughly at the mantelpiece, watching proudly as an old school photograph falls to the ground with a very satisfying thud.
The ebony haired, carefree little girl in the photo was hardly recognisable as me. She had glittering, joy filled hazel eyes, a cute, un-pierced button nose and tongue, and a wide gap-toothed grin. She was happy, hopeful and had her whole life ahead of her. She had no worries, doubts or problems. . Her world was bright and colourful, filled with pretty little butterflies, glittery rainbows and uncrushed hopes and dreams. Life for her was perfect, but somewhere, an unseen clock was ticking, counting down to the crash.
I couldn`t even remember what it was like to be that little girl anymore.
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