Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Drugs Make Us Numb; They Don't Keep Us Sane

12- Ever Since I Was Young...

by XxPerfectTomorrowxX

"It means you're taken." Roger explained, smiling at my frown.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Drama,Horror,Romance - Characters: Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2012-02-13 - Updated: 2012-02-13 - 4425 words

You could be the corpse; I could be the killer.


(Gerard's POV)

"Where were we supposed to meet Mikey?" Rian asked, sounding nervous. She continued to tug on the red shirt I'd given her as if she felt out of place. People around us made their way in to the club which was radiating music. Most of the guys were dressed casually, wearing shirts and jeans but the girls... They weren't as casual. Most of them were barely covered. The overwhelming choice of color for the night happened to be yellow, making me sick to my stomach. All of the reds seemed to be paired, a girl and a guy... just looking to have fun together... Then there were a few people wearing green, talking and joking as they hoped to find someone who could change their color.

"Outside... So anywhere really, just keep your eyes out for him. He will be wearing green." Unless he got back together with that bitch Emily. I hoped that hadn't happened. I hated how much she hurt Mikey.

"There he is!" Rian suddenly perked up, smiling. I followed her finger, which was pointed across from us. Mikey was uncomfortably searching the crowd, wearing black skinny jeans and a green shirt.

"Come on." I told her, keeping close to her as we made our way across the crowd.

I stopped once I smelled the liquor. "You've been drinking." I said, stopping Rian in place as well.

Rian shrugged, "So? Don't people drink when they are partying? Lighten up Gerard."

"Yeah, lighten up bro." Mikey repeated, smiling lazily. He then explained, "Emily and I are over for good now. I'm not going back to that bitch." So that's what had him so upset.

"Aww." Rian pushed past my hand, enveloping Mikey in to a hug. He hiccuped as he hugged her back, "I feel like shit." He admitted.

"We don't have to party if you're so down." Rian assured him, sounding concerned.

Mikey shook his head, brightening up. "No! Let's do this!" And so together we got in line, waiting to reach the doors.

I found myself pleased when we approached the body guard of the night. It was our dear friend Roger Wrankler. That's all I needed. He just had to be here and then... then he was mine. "Rian!" Roger said, grinning. "It's so nice to see you here." I felt as if someone was stabbing me directly in the heart as Roger hugged Rian. I didn't want him to touch her.

"Hi Roger! It's nice to see you again." Rian kept up pleasantries, acting truly happy to see the man. I was amazed by her ability to be friendly with anyone, even an obvious pervert. Or maybe it was just obvious to me...

Roger's smile fell slightly as he noticed the color Rian was wearing, "Red? ... I didn't know."

"Oh, I don't know anything about these colors. Gerard got me the shirt." Rian replied.

"Did he not even tell you what that color means?" Roger asked.

I sighed, "We should get inside Rian..." This wasn't how things were supposed to go. I didn't need Roger talking to Rian. I didn't need him making her mad at me. Would she be mad? I wasn't really sure. Her reactions weren't always what I expected... I just didn't want people fucking with her tonight. She was mine. Even if she didn't know it yet.

"He didn't tell me. Can you?" Rian asked, ignoring me.

"It means you're taken." Roger explained, smiling at my frown. "Green is single, yellow is taken but willing to cheat, and red is taken."

Rian didn't respond, frowning as well.

Mikey started dancing in line as one of his favorite songs began to play. Roger smiled and gestured for us to continue, "I'll see you inside Rian." He winked.

Mikey went past us, joining a group of strangers as they danced to the beat. Rian kept walking, past me, past groups of people... Where was she going? "Rian! Wait up!" I called over the music.

She spun around quickly, looking in to my eyes. "I don't remember ever telling you that we were dating or that I was taken by anyone else. What gives you the right to put a shirt on me, basically labeling me as yours?"

"I don't see my name anywhere." I retorted, speaking loudly enough for her to hear.

Rian pulled the red shirt off and threw it to the ground. "I don't see it anymore either." With that she walked away from me.

I was going to kill that man. Roger Wrankler. The name repeated itself in my mind, my fists clenching as I imagined his screams. He was causing more trouble than he was worth but this would be the last time. This would be the last time that Rian walked away from me. This would be the last time that Roger won her friendship, leaving me the bad guy.


(Rian's POV)

The music pulsed through the entire club, making me want to dance. I looked around, realizing Gerard had disappeared. There went that idea... I sighed, unheard by even myself. It was kind of flattering that he gave me a 'taken' shirt but why couldn't he just tell me, or better yet... ask me? I mean, he didn't have to ask me out. He probably wasn't even interested like that. He hadn't tried making a move on me since our shared kiss in which I'd embarrassed myself by vomitting after. He could've at least asked me to wear the shirt, explaining whatever reason he had in mind...

I closed my eyes for just a second, horrified as I remembered the pictures... The 'staged' scenes. Gerard had to be telling the truth. They had to be staged... the other direction was just too dark, even for my mystery man. Gerard wouldn't... he wouldn't hurt people, would he? I really wasn't too sure.

-If I ever find out who hurt you I'll kill them.- My eyes remained closed as Gerard's previous words washed over me. Was there truth to what he'd said? I had to be going crazy...

"Rian?" The familiar voice of Roger Wrankler brought me back to reality.

"Oh hi, done at the door?" I asked, throwing on a smile as I tried to hide my worried thoughts from him.

"Just for a bit. I wanted to come see how much fun you were having. It seems... none." Roger said, frowning. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure. That'd be great." I said, smiling.

Roger nodded and walked to the bar as I stood, awkwardly watching people have fun. Why couldn't I be like them? I was having such trouble just loosening up... It just wasn't me. All of my thoughts were on Gerard. I kept messing up. I kept getting angry at him or making him angry at me. Would things with him always be so difficult, or was it all because of me?

Roger returned quickly, a smile across his face. He extended his hand, giving me a drink. I stared down at it, wondering if I should drink it. "What is this?"

"It's a lemon drop." Roger replied, grinning. "It's an excellent drink. Go on, try it."

I bit my lip but brought the glass to my lips, allowing the cool liquid to slide down my throat. I instantly coughed, disgusted with the taste. I tried to cover my look of horror but failed. Roger laughed, "You've never had alcohol before, have you?"

I shook my head, deciding I might as well be honest. "No. I expected it to be more... lemony."

"The bite of the liquor takes a few to get used to. I'll get you there, no worries." That sounded like something to worry about...

I cast a nervous glance around the crowded room, seeing neither Mikey nor Gerard. Where were they?

It didn't matter though. I quickly drank the rest of the overpowering drink. "May I have another?"

"Same type?" Roger asked, still grinning.

"Anything works." I replied, not exactly a fan. I wasn't sure I'd be a fan of anything else either though.

Maybe I should've gone with him. Maybe I should have kept a better eye on my drinks... but I didn't. Instead I stood in place, slowly moving my hips. I just wanted tonight to be fun. I just wanted to have fun.

Roger returned, handing me a drink. "I'll be back around in twenty or so minutes, okay?" I had no idea where he planned to go to for twenty minutes but I nodded, not even bothering to reply. A one word response wasn't worth shouting over the music when I could just nod, which I did instead.

Roger disappeared.

It wasn't until I had almost finished my drink that Gerard re-appeared.

"Are you done being mad at me?" Gerard shouted over the music.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled back, feeling like a bitch. "I didn't mean to get so upset. I just-" He cut me off as he grabbed my drink.

"Oh great, you got some water. It's so fucking hot in here and I've been looking everywhere for you." He took a sip, spitting it out. "How the fuck did you get this?"

"There is a bar over there." I pointed across the room, not wanting to tell him that Roger had gotten it for me. He had bad feelings towards Roger. That was obvious.

"You're only 17." Gerard said, as if I didn't know.

"They didn't ID me." I lied, reaching for the cup of alcohol.

Gerard's hand jerked and he tossed the cup to the ground, the rest of the drink spilling over the floor. "You don't need alcohol." He said, angrily.


I was once again cut off, "What the fuck were you thinking anyway?" Gerard spat out, "Did you just want to get drunk and go whore yourself to some dude here?"

I rolled my eyes, "Do you think I'd-" This time I shut up, mid-sentence.

"You were going to for me." Gerard said, hitting me with his words. "But you didn't need alcohol to do it last time so maybe I should be worried anyway."

I nodded, feeling tears sting my eyes. "You're right." Was all I could say. I mean, how could I deny the truth? Well, it was partial truth. He had no need to be worried. I didn't want to find some guy and fuck him. I didn't want to lose my virginity in such a meaningless way but before I had been willing to... What made me better than that? I wasn't better than that.

I turned away, just wanting to disappear. Gerard's words made me feel like nothing more than a useless whore, willing to fuck for next to nothing. I was going to fuck him for food after all. How low was I?

Gerard reached out, grabbing my arm. I stopped but didn't face him. How could I? I now had tears flowing down my face, killing any idea of going without being embarrassed for the night. Gerard brushed the hair from my face, before turning me around. He noticed the tears and looked away from me before mumbling something. I couldn't understand what it was that he had said and he seemed to understand so he repeated it, loudly. "I'm going to find Mikey. Stay right here, okay?"

I nodded, realizing he wasn't looking at me. Looked like I was going to have to say that one word answer out loud after all, "Okay!"

This time when Gerard walked away so did I. I wasn't going to stand around looking like an idiot. I found a group of girls dancing and started slowly dancing with them. At first it felt wrong. It made me so nervous. But all it took was one smile from a girl I didn't even know and I started loosening up.

It seemed as if time slowed down and then my vision began to get blurry. I wondered if I had started to cry again without knowing it but I wasn't crying... I just couldn't see very clearly. I narrowed my eyes, stumbling. One of the girls grabbed on to me, yelling something. "Are you okay?" She yelled again, holding me up.

I shook my head, "I just have to go to..." I tried to think of something, wanting to be alone. What was happening to me? "The bathroom. I'll be back."

"Okay." She shouted back, letting go of me.

I stumbled away, trying to find a restroom.


(Gerard's POV)

It had taken me longer than I expected to find Mikey. I wasn't pleased. I had to complete my task quickly. Roger wasn't at the door... meaning he was somewhere in the crowd. Finally I found Mikey. He was at the bar, drinking. "I need you to watch Rian." I shouted in to his ear from behind, making him jump which made liquor pour down his shirt.

"Where is she?" Mikey asked, seemingly sober enough to talk without slurring his words.

"She's over by the rest rooms. I told her to wait there for you." I told him.

"Where are you going?" Mikey asked, confused.

Fuck, did he really have to ask me that? "I ran in to an ex. She's plastered. I just want to make sure she gets home safe." I lied.

Mikey nodded, "I'll watch Rian but Gerard?"


"Next time come up with a better lie." Fuck.

I didn't have time to stick around and argue with him about whether or not I was a liar though so I just nodded and made my way in to the crowd, hoping him and Rian would stay away when I found Roger. I didn't need either of them messing up my plans.


Roger was feeling pretty good about himself as he walked out of the room he had set up for Rian. He rubbed his crotch and smiled, checking his watch. The drugs would have already begun kicking in as he found her. She wouldn't know what was happening. She was such an innocent little slut... begging to be fucked with each sway of her hips.

All he had to do was look the other way when underage girls entered the club, causing business sales to spike, and pay 100 a month and the room upstairs was his... No one in the club ever went up there without permission and it was much too loud for anyone to hear a thing... It was the perfect place to take a girl when you were Roger Wrankler. When you did the things he did...

He was a serial rapist. Becoming a bouncer at Club Raysin had been the best move he'd made. The man who owned the club happened to be just as sick as he was. Everyone working at the club had learned to look away when something was slipped in to a drink. It definitely wasn't the safest place to party...

Roger continued walking downstairs, a smile plastered to his face. It was very unfortunte for him that Gerard Way had noticed him on the staircase. Very unfortunate indeed.


(Gerard's POV)

I was making my way through the crowd when my eyes landed on Roger. He had a smile plastered to his face. What was he so pleased about? He didn't even know what he had coming to him...

I walked towards him, shoving people from my way. He didn't notice me until I was close enough to whisper in to his ear, "So, you want to fuck Rian?" The words disgusted me but I knew I couldn't offer myself to the sleazeball and I still had yet to get him alone...

Roger's face lit up but he still looked suspicious of my intentions, "Isn't she 'your' girl?" He asked, using air-quotes.

I shrugged, "I got a new girl. Rian and I are pretty close though. I could hook it up..." I offered.

Roger nodded, "Fine."

"Where would you like me to have her meet you?" I asked, playing it calm. The idea of Roger fucking Rian made me sick to my stomach though. The thought was just so foul...

"Come on, I"ll show you." Roger said, grabbing my arm. Why was he suddenly so friendly?

I followed Roger up the stairs, wondering just where he was leading me...

Once we reached a hallway the music wasn't as loud. "I have a room down here. It's perfect." He gushed, seeming excited. "When I first met you... I knew, I just knew there was something wrong with you. You're just like me, aren't you?" He asked, an evil glint in his eyes.

"Depends. What all are you in to?" I asked, playing it cool.

"Younger girls. Around Rian's age. Though, usually the girls I find here are over 21. Once they reach 26 I'm not interested." He said, offhandedly. "Rian is a real catch. The drugs should be working right around now so... you know, we could tag-team her." God, I felt naseous at that statement.

"The drugs?" I asked. He happened to be extremely easy to get the information from. I guess it worked to my advantage that he thought I was some pervert like him. I wasn't though. I had never forced sex upon an individual... ever. I didn't do that.

"I slipped her some Rohypnol earlier. It takes about thirty minutes for her to start feeling it." Roger explained. Fuck. Shit. Mikey was with her though... Mikey would keep her safe. He wasn't an idiot.

"So, is this the normal drill?" I asked, casually. I was a lot better at fighting the urge to vomit than I thought I'd be. "Just drug 'em, bring 'em up here and fuck them?" I asked.

"Yeah. So, tell me... what are you in to? If not Rian then we can find you someone else downstairs." Roger offered.

"I'm not in to fucking girls." I said, staring at Roger.

"We can find you a boy then. That's cool." Roger said, still smiling.

"No, you don't understand Roger." I explained, softening my tone as I stepped closer. "I'm not like you at all."

Roger's eyes narrowed but the smug smile still tugged at his lips, "My mistake. Move along then. It's not like anyone will believe you if you tell them about me. I'm an upstanding citizen."

"That's nice." I shoved Roger against the wall. "But I'm not going anywhere. I'm still different." I trailed my hand along Roger's neck as he watched me with widened eyes. "I bet there is one thing we have in common." I said, grinning. "I love to hear my victim scream." With that I pressed down on Roger's neck.

The smile slipped from his lips as he fought me. It was pointless however. I'd perfected my technique after one incident in where my victim nearly got away. I was not to be overpowered again. Dear Roger passed out within seconds. It wasn't too much of a struggle to pull him in to the room he had planned to deflower Rian in.

It was time for me to begin...


Mikey was making his way through the crowd, unable to find Rian where Gerard said she'd be. "Mikey, I didn't expect you here." A smooth voice yelled from my right. I spun towards it shocked to see Kat standing next to the bar.

"Kat?" Mikey asked, double checking. He was slightly buzzed after all. He didn't want to be imagining it was Kat while it happened to be some other partial stranger that had slipped from his mind.

Kat smiled, "I guess you found me a bit earlier than I expected."

Mikey smiled in return, stepping closer. Any thoughts of finding Rian vanished from his mind.


Rian was so dizzy. She could barely stand up, let alone walk... and yet she still continued to try and walk, finding herself bumping in to people. She couldn't hear what they were saying. She didn't care. She was 100% sure that something was wrong now, she just didn't know what. She'd thought of the alcohol but pushed that thought from her mind. It took more than two drinks to get drunk, right? She didn't feel drunk. She felt worse. Or maybe that was what being drunk felt like... She wasn't sure anymore, nothing made sense.

Rian couldn't find Mikey anywhere. She couldn't find Gerard either. Where had they gone? She stumbled one last time, finding herself thrown against a railing this time. A man spoke to her, "Looking for someone?"

She thought of Roger. She could find Roger! This guy was at the club where Roger worked, maybe he would know him. "I was supposed to meet with Roger Wrankler." Rian said, blushing at the look the man gave her.

"Go on up those stairs." The man said, grinning devilishly.

Rian nodded and stepped up the stairs slowly, her legs shaking with each step.


(Gerard's POV)

Drip, drop, drip... I dripped tiny drops of cold water on to Roger's face, waiting for him to wake up. He was tied to his bed. Usually I wouldn't even need to tie him down but this had to be done with and quick. I had to get back to Rian to make sure she was okay. I didn't even need to sweat not bringing any of my tools, since I didn't want a possible door check which some clubs did. Roger had a whole set of tools for me to use.

I pulled on a pair of gloves from the box I had found underneath his bed. "So Roger, what does a rapist need gloves for?" I asked, slapping his face as he began waking up.

Roger paused, staring in to my face with horror. He opened his mouth, as if to scream, but stopped as he realized it would be pointless. No one would hear him up here. That was the point. He didn't want his victims to be heard. Now he got to play victim and go without being heard by others.

My smile slipped as I spoke again, this time with a harsh edge to it. "You do more than rape your victims, don't you?"

Roger groaned, "What does it matter man? We're both just monsters."

"I'm not like you." I shook my head. "You're sick-" I stopped, not wanting to finish my sentence. "You kill them too, don't you?"

"I've only killed a few." Roger replied, unbothered.

I felt naseous, "Raping them just wasn't enough?"

"The drugs didn't work right. They would've told on me." Roger said, glaring at me. "Don't judge me. You're just as bad, if not worse, than me."

I didn't let his words get to me as I picked up a pair of pliers. "Let's see how you like having your body messed with." I was getting angry as each second with this creep passed. His intended victim had been Rian. He had wanted to take away her innocence. He was going to rape her.

Roger's eyes widened in horror and I smiled as he let out a piercing scream. The pliers clamped down on his left nipple, blood squirting from the wound. I applied more pressure, pulling with the plier clamped down. It really didn't take much for me to take his nipple straight off, leaving a bloody mess where it had been.

Roger cried out as I dropped the bloody nipple in to the trash bag I had set up alongside his bed. "Can you guess what comes after the nipples?" I asked, winking at Roger. In all honesty I never intended to touch anything on him below the waist. He deserved it but I wasn't that sick. I did however love the look of panic that came over his face.

"Wait- No, no, don't do that!" Roger pleaded, groaning in pain as the pliers gripped his right nipple. "Wait, you like Rian... right?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to rape her you sick fuck."

"I- I know but I- I have a few people I know out of the country. You could- could kidnap her, have her all to yourself, all of the time." Roger tried to plead with me. He was just making me angrier.

"I do not want to kidnap Rian." Though I'd already kind of kidnapped her... Well, not officially but... "Just leave her out of this. This entire night is going to be all about you." I told him, quickly clamping the nipple. He screamed in pain again.

I dropped the tiny nub in to the trash with his left nipple. His chest was now bleeding more, his cries becoming more and more pathetic.

"But she-" I cut Roger off by hitting him in the face.

He groaned as I grabbed the pliers, prying his mouth open. "I told you to leave her out of this." I informed him, "Now I guess I'm just going to have to shut you up since she's all that you can talk about."

Grabbing on to his slippery tongue with the pliers proved to be difficult but eventually I got it, squeezing painfully. Roger cried out around the pliers, his eyes widened in absolute terror. Then there was the blood spilling from his mouth as I tore his tongue from his mouth. There sure was a lot of blood. I almost thought he'd choke on it...

Once done I smiled happily, "There, that ought to shut you the fuck up." I told him, grabbing a knife from the collection of tools I'd found under his bed.

With careful precision I drew a bloody line over his flabby stomach, writing words he'd be found dead with. -I will not rape again.- Once done I threw the knife in to the trash can, wrapping it in saran wrap first. "You sure do have a lot of interesting things up here Roger." I said, speaking to the dying man. "They made this pretty easy so thank you."

With that said I grabbed on to the scalpel I'd brought along in my jacket for my finishing act. "Now, this..." I trailed off, staring at the scalpel. "This is for setting your eyes on Rian." I wasn't sure when Roger died. It was somewhere in between me cutting his tongue out and cutting his eyes out. By the time I was done he was a bloody mess, no longer breathing. I stared in awe, not wanting to forget the image.

That's when I heard the sharp intake of breath and the clatter as someone tripped over something.
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