FicWad

Frank's POV

The night after was Mikey's surprise party that Jess, Robby and Gerard had been planing for about a month. It was apparently a huge deal so we were all forced to go.
Fantastic.
Dancing.
Even better.
Fuck my life.
Well, at least Bandit will be there!
And I'm forced to go anyway.
Not that I didn't want to go or anything, Mikey's one of my best mates and this is his seventeenth birthday! It's just sorta important and it's funny because he hates birthday celebrations but I guess I want to go, I just wanna hang out and spend some time.

I'm pretty sure we skipped school, me and bandit, we weren't that interested anyway.
In the morning when I woke up I was lying face down on the mattress half hanging off the bed I rolled over and straightened up but still, I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling.
I stared at a black dot for about fifteen minutes until I heard a noise, I sat up quickly and my eyes darted back and forth from the door to the walls.
'AW SHIT!!!!!!!'
Bandit!

I threw the covers off and ran downstairs as fast as I could, I slid through the doorway of the kitchen to find her on the floor,
'Bandit? What happened are you alright?' I asked going over to her
'I'm fine'
'What happened?' I repeated
'Nothing'
'Are you fucking kidding me? Why are you on the floor?' I said helping her up to sit in a stool.
'I'm fine!'
'Cherry! Why are you crying?' I used her name to emphasize my point that I was serious.
'Why do you have to ask so many questions?!'
I frowned at her mixed expression and I looked down then back up at her face, her expression had permanently changed since the first time I saw her.
When I saw her she was all giggly and her skin was bright and smooth and her cheeks always flushed pink, her eyes glowed too but now her face was always pale; her eyebrows drawn together in stress and worry, her forehead had permanent frown lines and her eyes looked empty like all the color just drained from her face.

I waited for her to take a few deep breaths and calm down before asking,
'Whats wrong?'
She sighed and looked down,
'I lost my necklace'
'The choker?'
She nodded once, slowly
'Sam's one'
'Aw honey, I'm sorry!'
She threw her arms around me and sobbed into my shoulder while I rubbed her back and kissed her hair.
'Its all going to be okay. As long as he's in your heart he's with you. I promise. It takes time and everything turns out good in the end and if nothing turns out, it's not the end. If you still remember him in your heart he's still living'
'No matter how much I want to forget and move on I'll never, ever be able to'
'Its alright honey'
'I'm sorry Frankie' she sniffled
'Hey, hey it's alright, okay?' I said kissing her on the forehead as she looked up, with pools of sadness filling her perfect, undisturbed emerald eyes.
A tear rolled down her right cheek as she blinked, I held her head in my hands and used my thumb to wipe the tear, she gave a weak smile and looked up,
I put my hand under her chin and directed her head up toward my face,
'Im-' she started but before she could finish I kissed her,
'It's all going to be okay' I whispered in her ear as she put her head back on my shoulder'
'Thanks' she mumbled.
I rubbed her back some more and just played with her hair, her face was brightening slowly again.

We moved into the living room and sat together. I sat on the couch and she crawled up to lay next to me, I put my arm around her shoulder and the other arm was entangled with hers as I played with her fingers.
'Your hairs long'
'Its fake'
'Yeah?'
'Yep' she said tugging on a piece revealing a weave,
'Ah'
'Hm'
'Where does your natural hair end'
She showed me, it wasn't that much difference, maybe thirty centimeters at the most between her natural and the extensions.
'You got a text' I told her,
'Huh?'
'I can feel it vibrating'
'Oh' and she pulled out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans, she gasped and grinned.
'What?!'
'Ahhhhhhh!!!' she screamed
'What!'
'I made the squad!!!!!!' she squealed, it was barely audible.
'Wow! That's great! Congratulations'
She flashed a wide grin and twisted her body to kissed me.
'Lets dance'
'I can't.' I told her
'Why?'
'I'm shit'
'I can fix that' she smiled, trying to pull me off the couch by my hands.
I got up and faced her, she taught me how to slow dance, I'll never forget that day.
I already had my hands on her waist so I pulled her closer and she moved hers tighter around my neck,
'Cherry Alexz Bandit Crask, will you go to prom with me?'
'Of course' she smiled,
'Oh, you've made me the happiest man alive!' I teased in a theatrical way, she giggled and I kissed her again and again and again.
I wanted to tell her I loved her but I wanted to wait for the right moment but hell, did I take my time. The choice was mine but I didn't think enough.
Everythings going to be alright, I had to keep telling her, but it was easier to make her believe than it was to make myself.
I just kept suppressing all this anger and all my depression and all my thoughts, I'd never let them out on her or anyone else, Id be too depressed to go on.
I was happy only when I was with her and that's how everything's going to work, I'll be happy again.
I had to suppress the bad feelings I kept getting that something was going to happen, tragety was going to strike, I had to suppress it and smile.
Everything's going to be alright,
Everything's going to be alright...
(But blink and it's over)

Bandit's POV

I woke up the next morning and I knew I was going to die soon.
My bones ached for something to go wrong, for pain, but I wasn't going to start cutting again.
My head kept telling me,
'Soon, Soon. As long as you will it to happen it will, if it worked for Sam it'll work for you too'
I wasn't going to kill myself.
I wasn't suicidal...anymore.
I was happy with Frank... For the time being.
I loved him, but I'd never say it out loud. I'm not the type of person the chuck around 'I love you'. Definitely not.
But I did twice and when I did they left, so to be safe from rejection I'm not admitting out loud to anyone, not even myself.

I had one thing to admit to myself though, Sams necklace was gone, I've never taken it off but it wasn't around my neck. I searched literally EVERYWHERE for it, the kitchen was the last place I checked and it wasn't there or anywhere.
'Aw shit!!!'
Frank came running downstairs, I bet he thought I broke something or hurt myself. Well, that's what I'd do, clumsy me.
Always the fuck up, right?
I sighed and clenched my jaw tight to stop myself from yelling at him, over and over he'd ask 'Whats wrong?'
I know he meant well but I couldn't deal with it, I kept my jaw tight and just let the heat of the tears spill over and onto my cheeks.
Normally I would never cry or show any other kind of emotion in front of a guy, or anyone to be honest but Frank was like Ley-Anne, Sam and Aaron- the only exceptions.
After I had calmed down and relaxed a bit, I went upstairs and got dressed, I was wearing my favorite high-wasted, red skinny jeans with the black zippers on the sides, a plain black t-shirt and I didn't even bother with shoes or socks. I went downstairs and Frank was sitting on the couch still in his pj's which was black sweat pants and that's it which I found weird because it was the middle of winter, wasn't he cold?
I lay with him on the couch just holding hands and shit, I took a deep breath and he said,
'You got a message'
'What?'
'Your phone, it's vibrating. I can feel it'
'Oh'
I could never feel my phone vibrate, no matter where it was.
I pulled it out from my back pocket with some difficulty due to the skinny jeans and opened the text.
'Bandit, there's no second try outs for the squad. You're in, dont make me regret my choice xx Stephanie'
I screamed and squealed and got so excited!
'What is it?'
'Im on the squad!' I said showing him the message, he congratulated me and kissed me again.
I took a deep breath to calm down and then I looked straight at him and into his beautiful eyes,
'Frank...' I breathed, he kissed me again,
'Mm?'
'I wanna dance, dance with me'
'I cant'
'Why not?'
'Im shit'
Face palm.
'Thats cute. Get up, I'll show you'
He took my left hand in his right and his right was snaked around my waist, we faced eachother and then he pulled me closer.
I put my arms around his neck and he moved both his arms to my waist, I looked up through my eyelashes in an innocent sort of way and he smiled that crooked half-smile I love so much.
I bit my bottom lip and he bent his head down a little and kissed me as our bodies moved together.
He lied- he did know how to dance, he was actually amazing, not that I was paying attention to the dancing. I'm sorry that his perfect lips were pressed against mine at the perfect moment in time.
We broke apart and I leaned my head on his shoulder and somehow we seemed even closer,
'You smell pretty' he said as he pressed his cheek against my head,
'Thanks...' I giggled
'Will you go to prom with me?'
'Yes'
He smiled my favorite half smile and kissed me again.

That night was Mikey's surprise party, it was pretty fun. I can say I enjoyed myself without lying except for the last hour or so, he disappeared for a bit
'There- he's over there' Frank told me as he spotted Mikey returning in through the back door.
'Okay'
'You want a drink?' he asked as he saw me eyeing the champagne bottles on the table while I chewed my lip,
'Yeah, but I'm gonna go have a smoke first'
'Ill join you'
We went and sat at the glass coffee table by the hot tub, he offered me a cigarette from his packet, I shook my head
'Ew, I don't like those ones'
'Which ones do you have?' he asked as I pulled out my box,
'B&H Rich'
'Ah'
I nodded and pulled one out and lit it too.
We sat there for a little while in the cold just smoking, it was a good five minutes before we went back inside, he poured me a glass of pink champagne and passed it to me while he grabbed himself a glass of vodka and orange juice.

I looked around the room and I saw Jess go up and hug Mikey from the back and he turned around quickly and somewhat angrily,
'Please, just don't touch me' he said, she looked hurt
'Just come' I saw him mouth over the music
He grabbed her and Gerard and pulled them into a corner close by us, a moment passed of them huddled there talking,
'Youre fucking doing the treatment!' Gerard yelled over the music at him,
'Gerard you're not dad, I understand you fucking care but it's my decision whether I want to live or die!' Mikey yelled back at him
'WHAT?!' Me and Frank both yelled.
Mikey told us what the doctor said and how he had cancer, me and Frank listened in horror, eyes widened, jaws dropped, clutching onto each other with dear life.
'Fuucccck... I'm so sorry Mikes' I said pulling him into a tight hug.
'Its gonna be alright man, watch and see' Frank told him with a weak glance up from his shoes.
Mikey just sighed and went upstairs with Jess running behind.
Fuck.
Shit.
!!!

Gerard's POV

'You alright?'
She nodded once.
'Why are you staring?'
She didn't move.
'Ley-Anne you're being creepy'
I told her as we sat on her bed facing eachother, not more than 20 centimeters apart, holding hands which were resting on the space between us as we sat cross legged.
I thought I saw a flash of a smile, must've been wrong because her expression didn't change.
'Okay, I'm just going to... Go away now'
'Dont leave'
Her words were like ice on my back as I turned to get up and walk out,
'Dont stare'
'No'
'Then I'm leaving'
'You can't just be dry like that and leave me every time I'm not myself. Because then you'd dump me every second day'
'So you have a schedule of when you're being creepy and when you aren't?'
She let go of my hands and for the first time in fifteen minutes she broke eye contact and looked down, she bit her lip and folded her arms across her chest.
'That wasn't called for'
'Im sorry. That wasn't very nice'
I held her hands again and she just kept chewing on her lip.
'You want food or are you going to leave?'
'You can't cook'
'Why not?'
I don't trust you with anything you can use to hurt me or anyone else.
'Because you are a shit cook and you might use poison instead of salt or something'
'Cheerios doesn't involve salt honey. Sarcasm intended'
'Oh, like spoons and bowls and milk and Cheerios?'
'Yeah?' she questioned looking at me like I'm some kind of mutant freak that doesn't eat cereal.
'Cool'
'Do you want food or not asshole?'
'Um... Sure'

We went downstairs and I sat on a stool, she got a bowl, spoon, Cheerios and milk out and "cooked" a bowl of cereal for me then placed it in front of me.
'Youre not eating?' I asked. It was more of an accusation than a question, I didn't want her to be sick anymore.
'Yeah and you're still cutting, so...'
'Now that wasn't called for' I said and as I did I saw her eyes flicker from mine to my wrists and back, they were covered much like Bandits- with a bunch of wrist bands and beaded hippie bracelets.

'Why don't you eat?'
'Why do you cut?'
'Hayley' I shot her a look that said "I'm being serious"
'You first then. I'm actually curious'
'Lets go upstairs'
'OR- we can go in the gazebo outside'
'Whatever floats your boat honey' I joked
'That wasnt even funny, you should apologize for your lack of cleverness and wit'
'I apologize'
'Dont apologize to me, apologize to the world'
'WORLD!!!!! HEAR ME! I APOLOGIZE FOR MY LACK OF CLEVERNESS AND WIT WHEN PUTTING TOGETHER A SENTENCE THAT WAS MEANT TO HUMOR MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!' I shouted,
Various shut up's from the neighbors floated around and Ley-anne just stared at me, jaw-dropped.
'What?'
'I cant believe you just did that'
'Why? Did I do it wrong? Should I do it again? WO-'
'NO!' she said quickly, covering my mouth with her hand. I poked my tongue out slightly to lick her hand to get it off,
'Ew' she giggled, wiping it on me.
We sat down together,
'Why do you do this...'
'Before I start can I just ask why Bandit does? If that's okay...'
'Well... Her best friend was addicted to the thought of death, he was pushed to the edge too many times and he eventually slipped, he couldn't grasp the ledge much longer, his feet dangled idly for a few moments before he made his choice. He wanted to die, so he let go'
'Wait. He- he killed himself?'
'Yeah'
'Was how you explained it how he did it or was that a metaphor'
'Metaphor'
'How did he do it?'
She bit her lip like she was contemplating wether to tell me or not,
'Sorry...I should ask Bandit'
'No!'
'No?'
'Don't ask her. Please! Im fucking begging you'
'Alright'
'He hung himself in the garage. He got downed a full bottle of vodka straight from the bottle and he got high, then he pinned a note to his chest then hung himself in the garage for his dad to come back from work and go to put the car in and find him there. To see what he's done. She's still got the letter, its in the purple box under her bed'
'Oh shit... I shouldn't have asked'
'Why do YOU cut. No more procrastinating'
'I was lost and depressed from the truth, i had wasted so much energy of what everyone else thought of me I simply forgot to breathe. I felt suffocated, like someone was gripping my throat.
16 heald better days when I actually felt alive, 17 was when the depression started and now it's this'
'But WHY'
I took a deep breath and sighed, I looked into her eyes,
'It'll upset you'
'Just tell me'
'When me and Mikey were kids I was like a dad to him. Our parents were never around, they still aren't. We had to get used to cooking, cleaning, washing, working and money probelms from when we were younger than ten. It got hard because hed come home from school crying, he used to get beat up every day...he still does and he used to go upstairs and lock himself in his room for days at a time- it took me a while to figure out he used to come home crying because of a girl not because he'd got beaten up. This chick was THE most beautiful girl I had seen (up until I met you) and she was my age, her name was Sadie. She came by the house once, it was Mikey's fifteenth birthday and I was almost seventeen, she knocked on the door and I went out to her. She was dressed in black and she was shaking, she pulled a gun out from behind her back, turned it over in her hand to examine it, examined Mikey's and my face then she held the gun to her head on our doorstep, 'I wondered if he'd notice but I thought I'd let him witness firsthand' she told me and then I had to watch her pull the trigger. Mikey was standing behind me in my shadow, he squeezed his eyes shut and his hands balled into fists around his ears, he screamed for so long as he watched her body fall, he watched the blood pour out of her head as she hit the pavement and he watched as they took her away. He watched her coffin at the funeral, he watched as they didnt dare to open it, he watched her parents cry. I'll NEVER be able to silence the sound of his scream'
'Fuck. I'm- I-'
'Don't say anything. Just- Please'
'Im sorry'
'Don't apologize'
'So-' she stopped herself.
'Thats why he hates birthday celebrations'
'Jess thinks she can change that, she doesn't know what happened does she?'
I shook my head slowly,
'Oh. Do you think he'd tell her?'
'Only if she asked but even then, he'd still be hesitant' I told her.
She sighed,
'We should get the house ready Bandit and Frank should be up by now'
'Okay'
We went inside and hung the decorations, I went to the store to pick up our balloons and Jess got the cake, by the time I got back Ray was setting up in the living room or for that night, our party room.
'Hey Dj'
'Hey man' he said coming over to pull me into his chest tightly for one of his rib breaking bear hugs,
'Ray- Can't - Breathe!'
'Sorry Gerard' he said letting me go
'Dj Fro huh?'
'Yup' he smiled
'I get it'
'My hair'
'Like I said, I get it' I winked
'Any cute guys invited tonight'
'I wouldn't know, Jess did the guest list but I guess Bandits friend Aaron and his boyfriend Dean and Jess' friend Robby from cheerleading. That's about anyone that's invited who bats for your team'
'The pink team' he giggled
'I swear, if I saw you walking down the street id think you were straight. Well, as long as you didn't speak, you're voice is so high, like you have a constant supply of helium instead of oxygen intake' we both laughed, Ray was very open about his sexuality and he didn't mind the occasional joke about his sexual orientation or his voice, that's why everyone loves him, he's easy to talk to.
The party was great except for the end, Mikey told us he had cancer and he wasn't going to have treatment, he wanted to die, he'd never say it out loud but he wanted to be with Sadie and I wasnt going to let him give up, not after what happened to Sadie, not after what he saw, what he put us both through after she died- Not after Bandit's best friend Sam. Not after hearing any suicide story, if he wanted to die it was pretty much suicide by not getting treatment anyway.

Ley-Anne's POV

I woke up the next day and looked over at my alarm clock, it read 15:37. "Oh shit, I slept through the whole day!" Was my initial thought, but then I remembered it was wrong.
I suddenly focused on the numbers trying to figure out what time it really was when Gerard peeked his head through the door,
'Oh good, you're awake!'
'Mm'
He came and sat on the end of the bed as I sat up and crossed my legs under the covers, I patted the space opposite me and he crawled forward to sit directly opposite from me, also cross legged. My hands were on my thighs until he took them in his and we sat there for a little while.
I tried to think what was going on, I remembered last night and i realized why my body felt the need to remain idle the whole day. The argument with Bandit, she'll get over it but I don't want her to be upset, she doesn't see that when she's upset she's making the rest of us feel the same.
For a moment I sat and reflected on the night before, Aaron, and I started to reflect on all those years ago when he told me what happened to the others of 'The Fucked Four Couples' I remembered not wanting to tell Bandit because I was afraid of her reaction, it wasn't that long after Sam died, that was also another reason to add to the list.
I was staring right at Gerard for fifteen or twenty minutes,
'You alright?'
I just nodded
'Why are you staring at me?'
I didn't say anything or move at all.
'Ley-Anne you're being creepy'
I gave the tiniest hint off smile,
'Okay, I'm just going to... Go away now'
'Dont leave me' I whispered as he turned around slowly
'Dont stare'
'No'
'Then I'm leaving'
'You can't just be dry like that and leave me every time I'm not myself. Because then you'd dump me almost every day'
'So you have a schedule of when you're being creepy and when you aren't?'
I let go of his hands and stared down as I folded my arms over my chest
'That wasn't called for'
'Im sorry. That wasn't very nice'
I started biting my lip piercing while he took my hands again.
We went down to the kitchen and I made him a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast then he looked up at me,
'Youre not eating' he stated
'Yeah and you're still cutting'
After he ate we went outside, I found out it was 6am and we sat in the gazebo watching the morning mist drift over jersey.
He told me why he cuts. He opened up, I never expected it at all. His story was beyond horrific.
'When me and Mikey were kids I was like a dad to him. Our parents were never around, they still aren't. We had to get used to cooking, cleaning, washing, working and money probelms from when we were younger than ten. It got hard because hed come home from school crying, he used to get beat up every day...he still does and he used to go upstairs and lock himself in his room for days at a time- it took me a while to figure out he used to come home crying because of a girl not because he'd got beaten up. This chick was THE most beautiful girl I had seen (up until I met you) and she was my age, her name was Sadie. She came by the house once, it was Mikey's fifteenth birthday and I was almost seventeen, she knocked on the door and I went out to her. She was dressed in black and she was shaking, she pulled a gun out from behind her back, turned it over in her hand to examine it, examined Mikey's and my face then she held the gun to her head on our doorstep, 'I wondered if he'd notice but I thought I'd let him witness firsthand' she told me and then I had to watch her pull the trigger. Mikey was standing behind me in my shadow, he squeezed his eyes shut and his hands balled into fists around his ears, he screamed for so long as he watched her body fall, he watched the blood pour out of her head as she hit the pavement and he watched as they took her away. He watched her coffin at the funeral, he watched as they didnt dare to open it, he watched her parents cry. I'll NEVER be able to silence the sound of his scream' he told me. I cried and gave my apologies but he wouldn't take it.

After a little while we went back inside and Frank and Bandit were awake, slow dancing in the living room for some reason so we all had something to do for the party except me, they all left to do whatever and I stayed home and sat on the couch. I couldn't get the image of Sadie killing herself in front of Gerard and Mikey, I can only begin to imagine Mikey's scream and the pain it causes Gerard. I realized I started to tear up and i wiped my eyes quickly when the doorbell rang,
'Hey I'm Ray'
'Hi..'
'Oh yeah, Dj Fro. I'm the Dj for Mikey'
'alright. Come in'
I let him in and introduced myself then showed him where to set up he just kept smiling and the homosexual bell rang in my head,
'Listen I'm sorry if this offends you but are you-?'
'I like boys'
We both smiled,
'Wait! Not little boys or anything I'm not a pedophile! I swear! I like guys- I'm gay!'
'Relax! I get it, calm down, don't have a panic attack on me'
He took two huge breaths and stared at me and we both started laughing,
'How did you know I have panic attacks?'
'I didn't!'
'Thats weird'
'I have them too, I know the symptoms I guess'
'That explains a lot'
Gerard burst in at that moment and had a brotherly moment with Ray and I just drifted off into the backround for the rest of the night until Mikey's bad news struck.

Mikey's POV

'Listen, I'm not doing the fucking treatment'
'So you want to die then?'
I just stared at her with my jaw clenched,
'Theres something you're not telling me' she was right, there was a lot of things,
'I guess...'
'Tell me Mikes, you can tell me anything'
I took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, I lay back on the bed and looked over at her,
'I. Am. Fine'
'Then tell me what you're holding in because I don't believe it'
I clenched my jaw tighter,
'Todays my b-b-'
'Birthday' she whispered
'Yes'
'And?'
'And a two years ago today something happened that made me despise my birthday'
'Which was...?'
'My parents were never around for me and Gerards lives, Gerard is the best father-figure I have and I feel like shit for putting him through so much' she looked confused, I paused for her to speak but she didn't, 'When I was fourteen I started a new school and I met this girl and she was i think a year or two older than me, she looked like a fucking angel and her voice was the same, I never actually spoke to her properly, every time I tried id choke up and just walk back the way I came or just shut my mouth right after I'd open it. Every day id walk home from school, and one day I saw her getting chased by a couple guys, they threw her in their car and I ran up to them and being the idiot I was, I got bashed. I ran the rest of the way home, ran upstairs and locked myself in my room for days just thinking of her eyes staring at me through those car windows, I was afraid but there was nothing I could do. When I went back to school she was there, I walked past her locker and she was standing there,
"Sadie?"
"Hi Mikey" she smiled awkwardly
"A-Are you alright?"
"Not really" she told me and started crying
"What happened? W-What did they do to you?"
She told me all about how they blind folded her and tied her hands and feet together, she told me what they did to her and she was scared she might get pregnant.
After that day I'd lock myself in my room and replay her story over in my head, replay the day they took her away, replay her eyes staring at me, blank from the window of her dads truck. And I never saw her again until my fifteenth birthday, the doorbell rang and Gerard answered it. I hardly saw her, Gerard stepped out the door and heald it closed behind him with only a crack for me to look through, I saw her. Dressed in full black, black dress, black shoes, i saw her black gloves as she pulled out a gun from behind her back shaking, Gerard let go of the door and it swung open a little more. I still stayed half-hidden behind him, watching, waiting. She turned the gun over in her hand, just staring down at it, studying it, then she looked up to study Gerard's face, then mine. As tears streaked down my cheeks she heald it up to her head
"I wondered if he'd notice but I thought I'd let him witness firsthand" she told Gerard.

I squeezed my eyes shut as she squeezed the trigger, I balled my fists over my ears and screamed as I opened my eyes to watch her body fall to the doorstep, her head with blood pouring out of it, her beautiful face blown straight off. There was blood everywhere, all over the outside of our house, on her and barley any on me compared to Gerard.
I watched silently as her body hit the pavement, it seemed like it was going in slow motion, I watched Gerard run for the phone to dial 911, I watched silently as they took her away on a stretcher, I watched silently as they lowered her coffin into the ground, I watched silently as her parents cried at the funeral, I watched them blame me.
Those memories were just to painful to even think of anymore.
I still kept locking myself in my room every day as soon as I got back from school, I used to play everything over and over in my head, everything I saw, everything I heard, and eventually I moved schools because of all the rumors that people came up with and i came to bellview and then you came and everything changed'
She was crying, horrified.
'I can't believe you went through all that' she cried. I took her into my arms and held her,
'Listen, I'll do the fucking treatment, for you, okay?'
'You don't have to, you know?'
'I know' I nodded.