Categories > Celebrities > Slipknot > Camp Redwood
Chapter 3
Having not actually slept that much on the remainder of the trip which he blamed entirely on the group of girls at the back of the bus that took it upon themselves to provide the rest of the bus patrons with shitty RNB music and screeching sing-alongs, he found himself rubbing at his temples trying to ward off an impending migraine. It wasn’t really helping that much at all and his meds were at the bottom of his suitcase. Joey cursed himself angrily for not having thought to leave some in his day pack.
As the bus started to unload Joey reached down and grabbed his bag off the floor. He decided to wait till last so he wouldn’t have to rush. After everyone had gone, Joey lifted his hair and yanked his bag onto a shoulder before slipping out of his seat into the isle. With one quick look behind him to make sure nothing was left behind, Joey made his way off the bus.
As he got off he noticed that everyone, including the children from the other buses had already moved forward to situate a grassy space in front of a wooden platform. Joey figured it would look awkward if he just walked over a joined them, so he opted instead to lean against the bus and watch from there.
Joey watched on in mild intrest as an odd looking middle aged woman with mousy brownwhite specked hair took the stage. She was wearing an bright pink floral dress and a wide brim hat made out of straw with what appeared to be pasta shells glued to the front of it. On her nose sat perched and particularly large pair of sunglasess, they just like her hat, also appeared to be decked out in pasta.
The strange woman smiled warmly at the crowd “Welcome to camp Redwood!” She Shouted happily giving everyone a big yet slightly over the top wave. “Here you will learn new things, make new friends and most of all, HAVE FUN! And if you have some spare time, why not head over to the design and make centre? I’d love to meet you all!” Well at least that explaned the pasta…Joey snickered to himself. “Anyway! I’ll give you over too Diane, the camp manager who will tell you more.” The funny looking woman gestured her hand off to the side of the platform where an outrageously pudgy woman appeared to be having quite a bit of trouble getting onto to the stage.
Beside him he heard one of the instructors murmur just loud enough that Joey could pick it up “Poor cow probably can’t see her feet.” Joey laughed quietly into his hand and figured the woman mustn’t be very well liked.
After the third attempt the site stopped being that entertaining and Joey peered down at his hands to inspect his nail polish. Hmm, chipped, he would have to fix that later. Upon looking up again he noticed the….. ‘Diane’ had managed to right herself on the platform. Joey wondered if all the camp instructors looked like this. SO far it really seemed like it.
Murmers and talking had begun to seep through the bored crowed and Joey could see the woman’s face becoming red with annoyance. “EXCUSE ME!” as the pudgy red headed woman squawked shrilly in a nasal voice that caused Joey to cringe sharply and press his back against the bus…. Just when the pain in his head had begun to subside to.
“In a moment you will be split into 2 groups. Girls and Boys.” At this many groans and unpleasant exclamations could be heard from both genders. Displeased at the idea of not being able to flirt with each other Joey guessed. He rolled his eyes. He couldn’t care less about it…especially after Dealing with those girls on the bus… Joey frowned and rubbed his head just thinking about it.
Diane realised she was starting loosing everyone’s attention and wasn’t happy about it. “EXCUSE ME!” she shrieked again, which gave Joey the violent urge to push the annoying woman down a flight of stairs. Once she had everyone’s attention (which consisted mostly of glares) she grunted in frustration and began to speak again. “These groups are your sleeping a dinning groups. NOT your activity groups!” Small noises of excitement filled the air. Though the feeling didn’t quite reach Joey who merely sighed un-caringly and relaxed further against the side of the bus, running a hand through his hair. He wished this camp was over already.
Suddenly The walrus was talking again “Ladies, you may wait patiently by the bus and grab your bags as you see them. Once you have your bags I ask you to make you to go and wait by that Oak Tree over there” Diane waved one flabby bingo wing in the direction of the tree and used the other to motion towards where Joey was standing, in front of the bags area. As the heat of peoples gazes hit him, Joey began to regret his decision to stand there and feel a little self-conscious. Joey looked down at his feet to avoid any further eye contact.
Only moments later however, there was a hand on his arm. “Hey hun could ya’ll move to tha side, I need ta open tha bag compartment” It was the bus driver and she smiled sweetly at him. Joey nodded quickly and shuffled out of her grasp, letting the woman go about her buisness.
Just as he moved, girls began to line up along the sides of the buses, patiently wait to be handed their bag. Unfortunately for Diane and everyone else that didn’t particularly feel like hearing the woman shriek, a few of the boys had decided to be smartasses and stand up with the girls. Joey clenched his jaw and prepared himself for the noise. “Boys remain where you are! I said girls!” she Wailed, flailing her arms for good measure. The boys who had been told off scowled at Diane and walked back to their places. While others glared at them for causing the infliction of possible ear drum damage.
“Much better.” Diane grinned, clapping her hands together. Which was shocking to say the least. Joey, in addition to believing he had possibly been deafened by the Woman’s awful pitch, was now pretty sure he had been blinded too. It was not a pretty site. Her fat freckled cheeks scrunched up to her beady brown eyes and she bared a set of mangled brownish teeth… Joey felt like he was going to be sick. It was honestly disgusting and It was something Joey hoped never to witness ever again as long as he lived. Judging By the face the guys around him were making he knew they felt the same. Joey averted his eyes away from Diane and back to the bus where he watched as the last few girls received their bags.
Joey watched as the girls dragged their fleet of predominantly overstuffed and oversized suitcases towards the tree, bringing the air alight with the sound of plastic wheels clattering through dirt. Well, at least it’s better than listening to Diane, Joey reasoned to himself.
Over by the tree Joey observed the instructors. One had longish straight Auburn hair and was wearing a pair of black jeans and a red tank top. The other sported soft black curls and a pretty grey dress. At least these girls weren’t fat and odd look, Joey wondered if they were nice, but quickly disregarded the thought and scolded himself for even caring. He still didn’t want to be there. He scowled to himself again.
“Ok boys!” Diane declaired. “You can get your bags now. Please do so in an orderly fashion and then return to your spots. I will be escorting you to your lodge where you will meet your instructors.”
Joey really had to face palm at this. Of course what was going to happen next was the exact opposite.
All at once the boys charged towards the bus and Joey began to legitimately fear for his life as the stampede approached him, at least 20 or so boy thundering towards him. He squeaked and made a desperate attempt to evade the masses only to collide with the sassy black bus driver’s enormous boobage. Said unamused bus driver cleared her throat deeply and scowled fiercely.
“OI!” She growed in a booming voice Y’ALL BETTER STOP RIGHT WHERE Y’ALL ARE OR I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TA IT NONE O’YA’LL GET YO BAGS!” All this with one hand on her hip and the other waving a finger in the boy’s faces. This woman meant business. Ohh dayyymm.
Everyone cringed and shrunk back slightly, somewhat afraid of the tank black female. Poor Joey being right underneath her caught the brunt of it and moaned slightly as his head began to buzz.
Finally, Michelle, as Joey later found out she was called. Herded the boys in a sheep like fashion to get their bags and now they were waiting for Diane to get down off the platform. Which didn’t look like it was going to be an easy task, judging by the way she got up there and the way she was teetering unsteadily at the top of the steps. All it took was a slight step forward and she tripped a little, nearly causing her to land flat on her face, much to the amusement of the snickering campers and inpstructors. Diane went red and stumbled down the stairs and saying nothing as she glared at the boys to follow her.
Thanks to the lingering threat of Michelle Le sassy bus lay-day, the boys went in silence. Nothing but the crunching of dirt underfoot and the clunking of their suitcases behind them.
Having not actually slept that much on the remainder of the trip which he blamed entirely on the group of girls at the back of the bus that took it upon themselves to provide the rest of the bus patrons with shitty RNB music and screeching sing-alongs, he found himself rubbing at his temples trying to ward off an impending migraine. It wasn’t really helping that much at all and his meds were at the bottom of his suitcase. Joey cursed himself angrily for not having thought to leave some in his day pack.
As the bus started to unload Joey reached down and grabbed his bag off the floor. He decided to wait till last so he wouldn’t have to rush. After everyone had gone, Joey lifted his hair and yanked his bag onto a shoulder before slipping out of his seat into the isle. With one quick look behind him to make sure nothing was left behind, Joey made his way off the bus.
As he got off he noticed that everyone, including the children from the other buses had already moved forward to situate a grassy space in front of a wooden platform. Joey figured it would look awkward if he just walked over a joined them, so he opted instead to lean against the bus and watch from there.
Joey watched on in mild intrest as an odd looking middle aged woman with mousy brownwhite specked hair took the stage. She was wearing an bright pink floral dress and a wide brim hat made out of straw with what appeared to be pasta shells glued to the front of it. On her nose sat perched and particularly large pair of sunglasess, they just like her hat, also appeared to be decked out in pasta.
The strange woman smiled warmly at the crowd “Welcome to camp Redwood!” She Shouted happily giving everyone a big yet slightly over the top wave. “Here you will learn new things, make new friends and most of all, HAVE FUN! And if you have some spare time, why not head over to the design and make centre? I’d love to meet you all!” Well at least that explaned the pasta…Joey snickered to himself. “Anyway! I’ll give you over too Diane, the camp manager who will tell you more.” The funny looking woman gestured her hand off to the side of the platform where an outrageously pudgy woman appeared to be having quite a bit of trouble getting onto to the stage.
Beside him he heard one of the instructors murmur just loud enough that Joey could pick it up “Poor cow probably can’t see her feet.” Joey laughed quietly into his hand and figured the woman mustn’t be very well liked.
After the third attempt the site stopped being that entertaining and Joey peered down at his hands to inspect his nail polish. Hmm, chipped, he would have to fix that later. Upon looking up again he noticed the….. ‘Diane’ had managed to right herself on the platform. Joey wondered if all the camp instructors looked like this. SO far it really seemed like it.
Murmers and talking had begun to seep through the bored crowed and Joey could see the woman’s face becoming red with annoyance. “EXCUSE ME!” as the pudgy red headed woman squawked shrilly in a nasal voice that caused Joey to cringe sharply and press his back against the bus…. Just when the pain in his head had begun to subside to.
“In a moment you will be split into 2 groups. Girls and Boys.” At this many groans and unpleasant exclamations could be heard from both genders. Displeased at the idea of not being able to flirt with each other Joey guessed. He rolled his eyes. He couldn’t care less about it…especially after Dealing with those girls on the bus… Joey frowned and rubbed his head just thinking about it.
Diane realised she was starting loosing everyone’s attention and wasn’t happy about it. “EXCUSE ME!” she shrieked again, which gave Joey the violent urge to push the annoying woman down a flight of stairs. Once she had everyone’s attention (which consisted mostly of glares) she grunted in frustration and began to speak again. “These groups are your sleeping a dinning groups. NOT your activity groups!” Small noises of excitement filled the air. Though the feeling didn’t quite reach Joey who merely sighed un-caringly and relaxed further against the side of the bus, running a hand through his hair. He wished this camp was over already.
Suddenly The walrus was talking again “Ladies, you may wait patiently by the bus and grab your bags as you see them. Once you have your bags I ask you to make you to go and wait by that Oak Tree over there” Diane waved one flabby bingo wing in the direction of the tree and used the other to motion towards where Joey was standing, in front of the bags area. As the heat of peoples gazes hit him, Joey began to regret his decision to stand there and feel a little self-conscious. Joey looked down at his feet to avoid any further eye contact.
Only moments later however, there was a hand on his arm. “Hey hun could ya’ll move to tha side, I need ta open tha bag compartment” It was the bus driver and she smiled sweetly at him. Joey nodded quickly and shuffled out of her grasp, letting the woman go about her buisness.
Just as he moved, girls began to line up along the sides of the buses, patiently wait to be handed their bag. Unfortunately for Diane and everyone else that didn’t particularly feel like hearing the woman shriek, a few of the boys had decided to be smartasses and stand up with the girls. Joey clenched his jaw and prepared himself for the noise. “Boys remain where you are! I said girls!” she Wailed, flailing her arms for good measure. The boys who had been told off scowled at Diane and walked back to their places. While others glared at them for causing the infliction of possible ear drum damage.
“Much better.” Diane grinned, clapping her hands together. Which was shocking to say the least. Joey, in addition to believing he had possibly been deafened by the Woman’s awful pitch, was now pretty sure he had been blinded too. It was not a pretty site. Her fat freckled cheeks scrunched up to her beady brown eyes and she bared a set of mangled brownish teeth… Joey felt like he was going to be sick. It was honestly disgusting and It was something Joey hoped never to witness ever again as long as he lived. Judging By the face the guys around him were making he knew they felt the same. Joey averted his eyes away from Diane and back to the bus where he watched as the last few girls received their bags.
Joey watched as the girls dragged their fleet of predominantly overstuffed and oversized suitcases towards the tree, bringing the air alight with the sound of plastic wheels clattering through dirt. Well, at least it’s better than listening to Diane, Joey reasoned to himself.
Over by the tree Joey observed the instructors. One had longish straight Auburn hair and was wearing a pair of black jeans and a red tank top. The other sported soft black curls and a pretty grey dress. At least these girls weren’t fat and odd look, Joey wondered if they were nice, but quickly disregarded the thought and scolded himself for even caring. He still didn’t want to be there. He scowled to himself again.
“Ok boys!” Diane declaired. “You can get your bags now. Please do so in an orderly fashion and then return to your spots. I will be escorting you to your lodge where you will meet your instructors.”
Joey really had to face palm at this. Of course what was going to happen next was the exact opposite.
All at once the boys charged towards the bus and Joey began to legitimately fear for his life as the stampede approached him, at least 20 or so boy thundering towards him. He squeaked and made a desperate attempt to evade the masses only to collide with the sassy black bus driver’s enormous boobage. Said unamused bus driver cleared her throat deeply and scowled fiercely.
“OI!” She growed in a booming voice Y’ALL BETTER STOP RIGHT WHERE Y’ALL ARE OR I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TA IT NONE O’YA’LL GET YO BAGS!” All this with one hand on her hip and the other waving a finger in the boy’s faces. This woman meant business. Ohh dayyymm.
Everyone cringed and shrunk back slightly, somewhat afraid of the tank black female. Poor Joey being right underneath her caught the brunt of it and moaned slightly as his head began to buzz.
Finally, Michelle, as Joey later found out she was called. Herded the boys in a sheep like fashion to get their bags and now they were waiting for Diane to get down off the platform. Which didn’t look like it was going to be an easy task, judging by the way she got up there and the way she was teetering unsteadily at the top of the steps. All it took was a slight step forward and she tripped a little, nearly causing her to land flat on her face, much to the amusement of the snickering campers and inpstructors. Diane went red and stumbled down the stairs and saying nothing as she glared at the boys to follow her.
Thanks to the lingering threat of Michelle Le sassy bus lay-day, the boys went in silence. Nothing but the crunching of dirt underfoot and the clunking of their suitcases behind them.
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