FicWad

It was on a dark winter night. I had just come home from a party with my friends. And my ex-boyfriend Charlie. He broke up with me. He used the usual speech. You know the “Nicky, it’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t know if I can trust you anymore.” He had a point. I wasn’t a very trust worthy person. According to everyone I know, I am the best liar in the town. I can even go as far to lie to the police and they believe me. This ability is great and everything, but, sometimes it makes me feel like I need to lie my way through life, and I don’t like that idea. It makes me feel like I’m not wanted. Going through life. Alone. My parents don’t have a clue why I their wonderful daughter, had to be like this. i sometimes tell myparents I’ve been to the movies with friends when actually I’ve been to a party with Charlie. No-one had a clue when I was being honest or not, so that is why nobody believed anything I said. That’s why everybody told me their secrets. I knew everything about anyone and everyone. Maybe that’s the real reason Charlie broke up about me. He just needed a better excuse. And I just gave it to him on a plate.
It was stupid. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was just doing what I felt like. I was selfish and if I could change what I did. I totally would. It was a Friday night and I got a little tipsy at a party. This guy started chatting me up and I was so drunk I didn’t even care. Then he pulled me to the dance floor. We started dancing, close. It was fun at the time. But it didn’t feel right. So I tried to leave. But he pulled me back.
“I’m going home now. I’m a little too drunk.” I shouted over the music.
“Come on. Live a little. What’s the worst that can happen?” little did I now the worst thing that could happen was just around the corner. I stayed and danced a little closer than I should have. Before I knew it our lips were locked tight. There was no letting go, and I have to admit it, I was quite enjoying it. That was until Charlie came round the corner. He saw us. And I saw him. And now I can’t get the look on his face out of my head. It was a look of total sadness. And it was then the guilt started to pile up.
“Charlie wait! Please let me explain!” He didn’t stop. And I fell flat on my face. This the bad combination of drunkenness, sadness , gilt and high heels. I sat up but just stayed sitting there. Crying my eyes out. I took off my high heels and began running again. I was out there all night before I realised he probably went home. I went straight to his house. My eye linger and mascara was all down my face. I had so many blisters on my feet I had blood right up my leg. On my way I kept thinking about what I would say. What I should say to convince him that I didn’t mean for that to happen, that I was so drunk I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I hoped he understood and forgave me, but when I actually got there I didn’t have a clue. So I just rang the doorbell and hoped for the best.
Charlie answered the door. His eyes were bright red like he was crying. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had crying.
“Nicky, what are you doing here?” Charlie said. He looked so sad.
“I. I’m so sorry. Can I please try and explain.” I was so guilty I started to cry again. I didn’t plan them, they just happened.
“What’s the point? It’d obvious you rather go out partying and kissing other guys. Look it’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t know if I can trust you anymore. I mean I wasn’t sure if I could trust you before. Everyone said I shouldn’t have gone out with you in the first place, but I didn’t listen. Maybe I should have. Goodbye Nicky.”
“Wait, please. Charlie. Please!” He shut the door but I was still shouting to him. I stayed there all night. I didn’t go home until dawn. My mum said she was so worried and that I was grounded until I said sorry. I would deal with that later. Right now I didn’t care. I had just lost the one person who would ever trust me. I gave him a reason not to trust me and he took it without hesitation. I am so stupid. Why did I do that? I began to cry again. That’s when my mum walked into my room. She stopped being angry and began to be concerned. I had always hated when adults did that. Changed their mood in a blink of an eye. It annoyed the hell out of me. I just wished they didn’t do it, but I couldn’t complain because I was too busy crying.
“What’s the matter sweetie?” My mum asked. She was going to be so disappointed in me when she finds out. Maybe she would be a little less disappointed if she found out from me and not on of her gossiping friends.
“I’ve been such an idiot, mum.” I explained how I was so drunk, the boy , who's name i still didn't know, Charlie seeing me with this guy and him breaking up with me.
“Well, no offence but , you kind of had that coming, but I don’t judge you. You were drunk, you didn’t understand what you were doing. Charlie will never trust you again though, but sooner or later, you and him will be friends again. It will just take time. But back on to the subject of the drunkenness, you are so grounded.” That did cheer me up a little. I know, being happy about being grounded, what's wrong with me? But it did mean I didn’t need to see Charlie for a while, and not to face reality for a little while longer. But I’m going to make sure that I get Charlie back. He might not be able to trust me, but he is the only one I can trust. There is no way in hell that he can get a way that easily. I just need to find out how.