Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Reviews
Some of these are harsh. Really harsh. Others aren't, but I refuse to sugar-coat nd don't stop writing because I tell you you're shit at one thing, you'll get better if you work on it, I'm confident in that. (ficwad FTW)
MISSION IN D.C.
By Gerardwayiscute
"MiD.C.":http://www.ficwad.com/story/183625
So, the boys are on a trip to Washington, D.C., and a creepy fan-girl appears, and she seems to be more than your average stalker! She knows the color of Gerard’s underwear, but the boys decide to brush it off. They continue into D.C., and are confronted by a man… and kidnapped. Where could this lead?
Well, this is the first story I sat down and read looking for mistakes, so it may be harsher than other crit I’ve given. I noticed that there were times when the same word, or variation of a word, was used in one sentence. That’s considered improper, for all of you who don’t know. A lot of apostrophes were forgotten, something that irks me greatly. There were keyboard goofs, like forgotten letters. There was some improper punctuation; ex. “Mikey said giggling” should be “Mikey said, giggling” (I don’t believe that line was used in the story, however). The chapters were under 1000 words, all of them rather short. In the second, there was absolutely no plot movement, it was really an unnecessary chapter that should really just be an introduction for the third chapter. Then there was the word ‘said’. It was used with almost every bit of dialogue, and I believe that thesauruses do exist. Sorry, just don’t use it so much! It gets really old really fast. I only use the same speech tag four times max in a thousand word chapter, so please use new words. It’ll probably help with those grades you were worrying about (I did a little bit of stalking). On the up-side, I only counted one tense screw-up, so good job with that.
Personally, this story did not grab me. The plot isn’t too cliché (yet), but it’s written in a way that’s just begging for it to be cliché. Gerardwayiscute, I hope this isn’t too harsh but I’m not here for sugar-coating and this is what I think. I am, however, going to keep reading in hopes that I won’t be disappointed. This story could go places, and I really don’t have a good enough handle of the plot to tell you much, the characters need to be rounded but we’re only 2000 words in. everyone’s kinda… happy go lucky.
6/10 (I may re-review this in the future if I feel the need.)
100 Ways to Torture Gerard Way
By theescapist
"100WtTGW":http://www.ficwad.com/story/159510
Gerard Way is stolen away from the band and tortured. I think that’s all you need for a summary.
So, I like that this story isn’t all gushy and romantic; it’s well written and actually one of the only MCR fics I like that isn’t a slash fic. It doesn’t really have very many relevant Original Characters (OCs), which makes me happy. I hate it when an OC is in the MCR fandom world being all in love with some band member. If you write/read/like these, it doesn’t involve me I just don’t like them, we’re both entitled to our personal opinions. It’s completely unrealistic, but the tortures are all legitimate. It’s entertaining, it makes my skin crawl in disgust and horror and I love it. There are minimal errors, I don’t really remember very many so if there were some they didn’t imprint on my mind and probably weren’t that major. (I beta, so I tend to look for mistakes all the time. It’s annoying but helpful.) The chapters range in length, but they’re so unstable in their lengths for dramatic purposes. Hm… It’s really slow moving, but there’s so much torture and I still adore it! And it’s title kind of gives you the assumption it’s going o be slow, so I didn’t go in expecting major plot movement every chapter.
8/10
The Past Ain’t Through With You
By JustYourAverageGirl
"TPATWY":http://www.ficwad.com/story/185128
Bandit and Gerard move to Japan, and there was a murder at Bandit’s school just before her arrival. I’m pretty sure Bandit is either Lesbian/bi, but there hasn’t really been any romanticizing yet. Not a lot has happened, it’s three chapters and a prologue in.
Hm… There weren’t any glaring spelling or grammar problems, I actually didn’t see any. I had exactly three problems with this story, and not all of them are legitimate complaints. I think the paragraphs need to be spaced out, a blank line in between them. (Both of the other stories I reviewed in this section have spacing if you need an example, but I think you know what I mean) All the chapters were under 1000 words, and as previously stated, that annoys me when it’s not for dramatic purposes. Cliffhanger making it under 1000 words=acceptable. Far under 1000 words for god knows why= not something I can handle. I’m like Crona from Soul Eater; I just can’t handle it. (That was a reference, I know, I’m sorry, the point was that I couldn’t handle it.) The style… meh. It was written just fine, the story has the meat and the bones but it lacks the fat, if you catch my drift. It pulled me in to some extent, but it’s not a story that I would read immediately if my inbox told me I was updated. It’s not, however, uber-cliché, and I respect that a lot. There are so many over-done things. (Do NOT get me started on fluffy high school fics that end in a kiss or marriage WHICH IS FUCKING ILLEGAL IN NEW JERSY GUYS!) Hm. The only other thing was the title. I AM NEVER GOING TO REMEMBER THIS FIC WHEN IT HAS THE SAME FUCKING NAME AS SO MANY OTHER FICS! THAT’S JUST EXPECTING TOO MUCH, I’m sorry but really? Call it ‘crackpot the psycho murderer’ for all I care but when everyone names their stories the same things it just makes it very hard to organize in your mind! (Um, yes, I’m the type that has her books organized by author. My CDs, too.)
7/10
xx_eddi_xx, I get what you're saying about the copying thing (someone once stole a superpower I came up with and I was irritated), and I didn't mean to make you sound like a cunt I'm just excellent at cuntifying people. It was logical to request what you did and I would have done the same thing. I mean it as a sincere, 'we come in peace' gesture. Even though there was no war... I don't ever think things out. EVER. It's against my nature.
And guys, don't expect these to come up so quick ever again. I'm sick and too lazy to do any legitimate work on my own stories.
MISSION IN D.C.
By Gerardwayiscute
"MiD.C.":http://www.ficwad.com/story/183625
So, the boys are on a trip to Washington, D.C., and a creepy fan-girl appears, and she seems to be more than your average stalker! She knows the color of Gerard’s underwear, but the boys decide to brush it off. They continue into D.C., and are confronted by a man… and kidnapped. Where could this lead?
Well, this is the first story I sat down and read looking for mistakes, so it may be harsher than other crit I’ve given. I noticed that there were times when the same word, or variation of a word, was used in one sentence. That’s considered improper, for all of you who don’t know. A lot of apostrophes were forgotten, something that irks me greatly. There were keyboard goofs, like forgotten letters. There was some improper punctuation; ex. “Mikey said giggling” should be “Mikey said, giggling” (I don’t believe that line was used in the story, however). The chapters were under 1000 words, all of them rather short. In the second, there was absolutely no plot movement, it was really an unnecessary chapter that should really just be an introduction for the third chapter. Then there was the word ‘said’. It was used with almost every bit of dialogue, and I believe that thesauruses do exist. Sorry, just don’t use it so much! It gets really old really fast. I only use the same speech tag four times max in a thousand word chapter, so please use new words. It’ll probably help with those grades you were worrying about (I did a little bit of stalking). On the up-side, I only counted one tense screw-up, so good job with that.
Personally, this story did not grab me. The plot isn’t too cliché (yet), but it’s written in a way that’s just begging for it to be cliché. Gerardwayiscute, I hope this isn’t too harsh but I’m not here for sugar-coating and this is what I think. I am, however, going to keep reading in hopes that I won’t be disappointed. This story could go places, and I really don’t have a good enough handle of the plot to tell you much, the characters need to be rounded but we’re only 2000 words in. everyone’s kinda… happy go lucky.
6/10 (I may re-review this in the future if I feel the need.)
100 Ways to Torture Gerard Way
By theescapist
"100WtTGW":http://www.ficwad.com/story/159510
Gerard Way is stolen away from the band and tortured. I think that’s all you need for a summary.
So, I like that this story isn’t all gushy and romantic; it’s well written and actually one of the only MCR fics I like that isn’t a slash fic. It doesn’t really have very many relevant Original Characters (OCs), which makes me happy. I hate it when an OC is in the MCR fandom world being all in love with some band member. If you write/read/like these, it doesn’t involve me I just don’t like them, we’re both entitled to our personal opinions. It’s completely unrealistic, but the tortures are all legitimate. It’s entertaining, it makes my skin crawl in disgust and horror and I love it. There are minimal errors, I don’t really remember very many so if there were some they didn’t imprint on my mind and probably weren’t that major. (I beta, so I tend to look for mistakes all the time. It’s annoying but helpful.) The chapters range in length, but they’re so unstable in their lengths for dramatic purposes. Hm… It’s really slow moving, but there’s so much torture and I still adore it! And it’s title kind of gives you the assumption it’s going o be slow, so I didn’t go in expecting major plot movement every chapter.
8/10
The Past Ain’t Through With You
By JustYourAverageGirl
"TPATWY":http://www.ficwad.com/story/185128
Bandit and Gerard move to Japan, and there was a murder at Bandit’s school just before her arrival. I’m pretty sure Bandit is either Lesbian/bi, but there hasn’t really been any romanticizing yet. Not a lot has happened, it’s three chapters and a prologue in.
Hm… There weren’t any glaring spelling or grammar problems, I actually didn’t see any. I had exactly three problems with this story, and not all of them are legitimate complaints. I think the paragraphs need to be spaced out, a blank line in between them. (Both of the other stories I reviewed in this section have spacing if you need an example, but I think you know what I mean) All the chapters were under 1000 words, and as previously stated, that annoys me when it’s not for dramatic purposes. Cliffhanger making it under 1000 words=acceptable. Far under 1000 words for god knows why= not something I can handle. I’m like Crona from Soul Eater; I just can’t handle it. (That was a reference, I know, I’m sorry, the point was that I couldn’t handle it.) The style… meh. It was written just fine, the story has the meat and the bones but it lacks the fat, if you catch my drift. It pulled me in to some extent, but it’s not a story that I would read immediately if my inbox told me I was updated. It’s not, however, uber-cliché, and I respect that a lot. There are so many over-done things. (Do NOT get me started on fluffy high school fics that end in a kiss or marriage WHICH IS FUCKING ILLEGAL IN NEW JERSY GUYS!) Hm. The only other thing was the title. I AM NEVER GOING TO REMEMBER THIS FIC WHEN IT HAS THE SAME FUCKING NAME AS SO MANY OTHER FICS! THAT’S JUST EXPECTING TOO MUCH, I’m sorry but really? Call it ‘crackpot the psycho murderer’ for all I care but when everyone names their stories the same things it just makes it very hard to organize in your mind! (Um, yes, I’m the type that has her books organized by author. My CDs, too.)
7/10
xx_eddi_xx, I get what you're saying about the copying thing (someone once stole a superpower I came up with and I was irritated), and I didn't mean to make you sound like a cunt I'm just excellent at cuntifying people. It was logical to request what you did and I would have done the same thing. I mean it as a sincere, 'we come in peace' gesture. Even though there was no war... I don't ever think things out. EVER. It's against my nature.
And guys, don't expect these to come up so quick ever again. I'm sick and too lazy to do any legitimate work on my own stories.
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