Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > You Are The Reason I Can't Control Myself.
Who Did This To You?
2 reviewsAfter Antoine finds Jared in the garden, Shannon finds a used needle and tries to make Jared confess.
3Exciting
Seeing Antoine look the way he did, it took a while for Shannon to take in what was being said. His hazel eyes widened, his thick eyebrows slanting inwards, into a frown. Thoughts just kept coming into his head, tangling together like a spaghetti junction. Maybe the younger brother had been having his weird fainting spells again, from the drug withdrawals, or the exhaustion. He never slept, and that was why he had the pills. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Jared? Not breathing? What had he done? What was going on?
"What?!" Shannon gasped in shock, his eyes narrowing at Antoine.
"He's in the garden. Naked. There's a used needle on the floor and blood coming out of his ass. There's something wrong."
Shannon leapt up off of the couch and hurried into the garden as fast as he could, where he saw Jared, lying on the floor, naked. Antoine was right. His little brother had been seriously hurt. His pale face was tainted with red marks, a few cuts and a bruise forming along his right cheekbone. Then, there was his chest… cigarette marks. Jared hadn’t smoked in years; he didn’t like it as the chemicals affected his voice. The rest of the group, minus the strippers, flocked outside to try and get a look at what had happened. They were just trying to stick their noses in Jared’s business.
"By the looks of it, he's been taking it up the shitter." Sam whispered in disgust. "I can't stand to look at that scrawny little bastard any more. Where are his clothes?"
"Guys, this isn't funny!" Shannon shouted in desperation, his eyes stinging with tears, threatening to make him cry like a baby.
His so-called friends shouldn't have been standing there making unhelpful comments and body shaming his little brother, he needed their help! A million questions ran through his head again, regarding what had happened here and what would happen as a result. Almost all of these questions were simply other ways of wording the same resonating concern: Would Jared be okay?
Shannon fell to his knees and studied the filthy needle that had fallen to the ground, and then examined the plum purple bruise that was developing in the crease of Jared's arm. He could have screamed into the night and woken up the whole neighbourhood if he wanted to. Jared had spent so much time and money trying to get clean, just to fuck up and shoot up three months later, despite being so adamant that he was better.
"I'll get him a blanket. It's freezing out here." Antoine volunteered, retreating back to the house.
Shannon guessed that Antoine was only walking away to avoid any conversation with him, he didn’t want to see Jared like this, or there was another reason he wanted to get away from the scene. Someone must have done this to Jared; he didn't believe that this was his brother's fault. As he watched his brother, he looked to be only sleeping, almost peacefully, but with his eyes wide open; Shannon above all couldn't understand how anyone could hurt Jared. As far as he knew, Jared was a peacekeeper and had never hurt anyone, unless they had really, really deserved it.
After nearly crushing it in his sweaty palm and not knowing what else to do with it, Shannon tossed the needle to the floor in frustration, even though it didn't extinguish the fury gradually growing in his mind. He was so close to crying that his vision started to become blurred, which he considered a mercy since it blocked this nightmarish scene from view. He wouldn't let any tears fall, after all, Jared would have wanted him to show courage, and he didn't need anyone's pity. This was a nightmare, one he had experienced countless times, but it was so very real this time. Whoever had done this to his brother would pay dearly.
"I thought he was clean. I helped him! We all helped-" Shannon shouted, turning to the men crowding behind him, his fists clenched and the veins in his arms bulging out. He was more than angry. He was fuming, furious.
"Calm down... He could have been forced to take it. It could have been anyone that came into the back yard." Sam interrupted, trying to keep Shannon quiet, his voice lowering.
"Antoine was the only person in the back yard. That means-" Shannon's head darted from side to side, scanning the house, where Antoine had returned to, the other guests who had spilled out to stare at the scene, and back down at Jared. Sam's eyes had been following his, trying to determine what he was thinking, so that he could say it himself and appear the smartest person here - but his face revealed his utter bewilderment.
"What?" Sam asked.
"It was Antoine!"
Sam frowned at the man in front of him, grabbing his balled fists and looking deep into his eyes. He didn’t want to believe that it was Antoine, he wouldn’t hurt anyone, just like Jared wouldn’t. Why would Antoine ever have anything against Jared? He knew that he could be a huge control freak, but so did everyone. That didn’t give anyone grounds to hurt him. Seeing the tears welling in Shannon’s eyes, he let out a loud sigh and began to feel a little more sympathetic.
"Listen, we can't go jumping to conclusions. We need to make sure that Jared's okay before we go and blame anyone. Then we ask him who did it."
"Fine." Shannon sulked.
Antoine came back outside and laid out a green fleece blanket over Jared's goosebumped body, while Shannon pushed his brother's jet black hair out of his eyes and stoked his smooth, slightly bruised skin. It was so unsettling to be so close to him as he was completely still, his big blue eyes staring up at him. He just wanted him to wake up, and know that he would be okay. Glaring at Antoine, he comforted Jared, more ideas running through his mind.
"We need to get him to the E.R." Shannon said quickly, thinking of a plan. He didn’t want to lose his only brother.
"Or we could call a paramedic. We'll be waiting for ages for some treatment at the Emergency Room." Antoine suggested, looking up at Shannon and ignoring the eyes that bored into him, making him feel guilty.
"Wait. David is a student doctor. He's trained in CPR and shit." Sam butted in, he always had to have the best ideas.
"I'll get him."
David was another of Sam's friends. He worked at a hospital but he wasn't experienced enough to become a proper doctor. It was close enough for Shannon, who felt slightly reassured that someone here had medical expertise - it meant that Jared's fate was in David's hands now, and that lifted a lot of pressure from the older brother. The young hospital worker rushed outside swiftly, parting the crowd. David had to start the resuscitation as soon as possible, before Jared's life began to slip away from him. This man was twenty-something, his hair was dark and his skin was sun-kissed, like everyone else’s, apart from Jared’s. He had kind brown eyes, ones that you could look into, and know that you were safe. What if this was the end for Jared? Shannon tried to think back to the last thing he had said to his brother, hoping that they were fitting last words. No, Jared isn't going to die, he told himself. Perhaps the unconscious brother was just asleep, maybe all he needed was to be awoken.
"You okay, Jared?"
No answer. David started with about 30 chest compressions to start circulation, the crowd gasping and gossiping as they realised one by one how serious this situation was becoming. They thought he was dead. When still no breath could be heard, he started mouth to mouth. Now people in the crowd began muttering, but Shannon tried his hardest not to listen. The words 'dead', 'ambulance' and 'murder' reverberated so often that he couldn't help but hear them. Everyone watched apprehensively as two icy eyes prised themselves open, and Jared woke up with a sickening splutter, studying fearfully the assembled crowd all about him, staring down at the man as he hyperventilated, and tried to get his breath back.
"Everyone give him some space." David commanded. The group complied, each taking a few paces backwards, relieved voices passing the good news to those behind them, until it reached even those few still in the house. The music had been turned off and the partying was over, but the night was now as loud as it had ever been.
When Jared opened his eyes, his pupils were dilated, and they were rimmed with dark black rings. He had woken with a big cough and a splutter, after choking. Everything was blurred and felt hazy to him. Whatever was in his system was affecting him badly, and he had dabbled with enough substances to know that he was intoxicated, but his short term memory eluded him for now and he couldn’t remember much.
"Jared, can you see me? Can you hear me?" David asked, watching the little brother.
He nodded, shying away from Shannon's stare. He felt so high that he couldn't bring himself to talk. He felt ashamed that he had let Gerard ruin his night and his sobriety.
"Jared... Are you okay? What happened to you?!"
Jared ignored his brother. Reassuring the always over-worried Shannon was hard work sometimes… in fact, all of the time and this was not the time to be helping somebody else. He was so fucking confused and his head felt so heavy that he felt like a lead weight had been attached to it, surely he'd never be able to lift it from the ground in this state. His slightly shivering body felt like it had been turned to jelly, and he felt sick. Had this been the wildest night out ever, or something much more sinister? His face hurt, and so did his chest, they stung a lot. Leaving David and Shannon to discuss his silence, he let his head clear as the events of the last few hours replayed themselves in his mind. This was all Gerard's fault.
"Who did this to you, J? Come on. Say something."
Jared cleared his throat and lined his words up in his head, trying to make sure that they came out right and that he said them properly. His thinking was slowed and it was like the world had stopped spinning, time ceasing to exist.
"It- it was... Ge-Gerard."
"Gerard?! That's it... I will find him, and I will kill him." Shannon said, gritting his teeth in anger.
"Please, listen to me-" Jared begged.
"I'm not scared of him. I made a promise to Mom that I would protect you and I will keep that promise until the day I die."
"What?!" Shannon gasped in shock, his eyes narrowing at Antoine.
"He's in the garden. Naked. There's a used needle on the floor and blood coming out of his ass. There's something wrong."
Shannon leapt up off of the couch and hurried into the garden as fast as he could, where he saw Jared, lying on the floor, naked. Antoine was right. His little brother had been seriously hurt. His pale face was tainted with red marks, a few cuts and a bruise forming along his right cheekbone. Then, there was his chest… cigarette marks. Jared hadn’t smoked in years; he didn’t like it as the chemicals affected his voice. The rest of the group, minus the strippers, flocked outside to try and get a look at what had happened. They were just trying to stick their noses in Jared’s business.
"By the looks of it, he's been taking it up the shitter." Sam whispered in disgust. "I can't stand to look at that scrawny little bastard any more. Where are his clothes?"
"Guys, this isn't funny!" Shannon shouted in desperation, his eyes stinging with tears, threatening to make him cry like a baby.
His so-called friends shouldn't have been standing there making unhelpful comments and body shaming his little brother, he needed their help! A million questions ran through his head again, regarding what had happened here and what would happen as a result. Almost all of these questions were simply other ways of wording the same resonating concern: Would Jared be okay?
Shannon fell to his knees and studied the filthy needle that had fallen to the ground, and then examined the plum purple bruise that was developing in the crease of Jared's arm. He could have screamed into the night and woken up the whole neighbourhood if he wanted to. Jared had spent so much time and money trying to get clean, just to fuck up and shoot up three months later, despite being so adamant that he was better.
"I'll get him a blanket. It's freezing out here." Antoine volunteered, retreating back to the house.
Shannon guessed that Antoine was only walking away to avoid any conversation with him, he didn’t want to see Jared like this, or there was another reason he wanted to get away from the scene. Someone must have done this to Jared; he didn't believe that this was his brother's fault. As he watched his brother, he looked to be only sleeping, almost peacefully, but with his eyes wide open; Shannon above all couldn't understand how anyone could hurt Jared. As far as he knew, Jared was a peacekeeper and had never hurt anyone, unless they had really, really deserved it.
After nearly crushing it in his sweaty palm and not knowing what else to do with it, Shannon tossed the needle to the floor in frustration, even though it didn't extinguish the fury gradually growing in his mind. He was so close to crying that his vision started to become blurred, which he considered a mercy since it blocked this nightmarish scene from view. He wouldn't let any tears fall, after all, Jared would have wanted him to show courage, and he didn't need anyone's pity. This was a nightmare, one he had experienced countless times, but it was so very real this time. Whoever had done this to his brother would pay dearly.
"I thought he was clean. I helped him! We all helped-" Shannon shouted, turning to the men crowding behind him, his fists clenched and the veins in his arms bulging out. He was more than angry. He was fuming, furious.
"Calm down... He could have been forced to take it. It could have been anyone that came into the back yard." Sam interrupted, trying to keep Shannon quiet, his voice lowering.
"Antoine was the only person in the back yard. That means-" Shannon's head darted from side to side, scanning the house, where Antoine had returned to, the other guests who had spilled out to stare at the scene, and back down at Jared. Sam's eyes had been following his, trying to determine what he was thinking, so that he could say it himself and appear the smartest person here - but his face revealed his utter bewilderment.
"What?" Sam asked.
"It was Antoine!"
Sam frowned at the man in front of him, grabbing his balled fists and looking deep into his eyes. He didn’t want to believe that it was Antoine, he wouldn’t hurt anyone, just like Jared wouldn’t. Why would Antoine ever have anything against Jared? He knew that he could be a huge control freak, but so did everyone. That didn’t give anyone grounds to hurt him. Seeing the tears welling in Shannon’s eyes, he let out a loud sigh and began to feel a little more sympathetic.
"Listen, we can't go jumping to conclusions. We need to make sure that Jared's okay before we go and blame anyone. Then we ask him who did it."
"Fine." Shannon sulked.
Antoine came back outside and laid out a green fleece blanket over Jared's goosebumped body, while Shannon pushed his brother's jet black hair out of his eyes and stoked his smooth, slightly bruised skin. It was so unsettling to be so close to him as he was completely still, his big blue eyes staring up at him. He just wanted him to wake up, and know that he would be okay. Glaring at Antoine, he comforted Jared, more ideas running through his mind.
"We need to get him to the E.R." Shannon said quickly, thinking of a plan. He didn’t want to lose his only brother.
"Or we could call a paramedic. We'll be waiting for ages for some treatment at the Emergency Room." Antoine suggested, looking up at Shannon and ignoring the eyes that bored into him, making him feel guilty.
"Wait. David is a student doctor. He's trained in CPR and shit." Sam butted in, he always had to have the best ideas.
"I'll get him."
David was another of Sam's friends. He worked at a hospital but he wasn't experienced enough to become a proper doctor. It was close enough for Shannon, who felt slightly reassured that someone here had medical expertise - it meant that Jared's fate was in David's hands now, and that lifted a lot of pressure from the older brother. The young hospital worker rushed outside swiftly, parting the crowd. David had to start the resuscitation as soon as possible, before Jared's life began to slip away from him. This man was twenty-something, his hair was dark and his skin was sun-kissed, like everyone else’s, apart from Jared’s. He had kind brown eyes, ones that you could look into, and know that you were safe. What if this was the end for Jared? Shannon tried to think back to the last thing he had said to his brother, hoping that they were fitting last words. No, Jared isn't going to die, he told himself. Perhaps the unconscious brother was just asleep, maybe all he needed was to be awoken.
"You okay, Jared?"
No answer. David started with about 30 chest compressions to start circulation, the crowd gasping and gossiping as they realised one by one how serious this situation was becoming. They thought he was dead. When still no breath could be heard, he started mouth to mouth. Now people in the crowd began muttering, but Shannon tried his hardest not to listen. The words 'dead', 'ambulance' and 'murder' reverberated so often that he couldn't help but hear them. Everyone watched apprehensively as two icy eyes prised themselves open, and Jared woke up with a sickening splutter, studying fearfully the assembled crowd all about him, staring down at the man as he hyperventilated, and tried to get his breath back.
"Everyone give him some space." David commanded. The group complied, each taking a few paces backwards, relieved voices passing the good news to those behind them, until it reached even those few still in the house. The music had been turned off and the partying was over, but the night was now as loud as it had ever been.
When Jared opened his eyes, his pupils were dilated, and they were rimmed with dark black rings. He had woken with a big cough and a splutter, after choking. Everything was blurred and felt hazy to him. Whatever was in his system was affecting him badly, and he had dabbled with enough substances to know that he was intoxicated, but his short term memory eluded him for now and he couldn’t remember much.
"Jared, can you see me? Can you hear me?" David asked, watching the little brother.
He nodded, shying away from Shannon's stare. He felt so high that he couldn't bring himself to talk. He felt ashamed that he had let Gerard ruin his night and his sobriety.
"Jared... Are you okay? What happened to you?!"
Jared ignored his brother. Reassuring the always over-worried Shannon was hard work sometimes… in fact, all of the time and this was not the time to be helping somebody else. He was so fucking confused and his head felt so heavy that he felt like a lead weight had been attached to it, surely he'd never be able to lift it from the ground in this state. His slightly shivering body felt like it had been turned to jelly, and he felt sick. Had this been the wildest night out ever, or something much more sinister? His face hurt, and so did his chest, they stung a lot. Leaving David and Shannon to discuss his silence, he let his head clear as the events of the last few hours replayed themselves in his mind. This was all Gerard's fault.
"Who did this to you, J? Come on. Say something."
Jared cleared his throat and lined his words up in his head, trying to make sure that they came out right and that he said them properly. His thinking was slowed and it was like the world had stopped spinning, time ceasing to exist.
"It- it was... Ge-Gerard."
"Gerard?! That's it... I will find him, and I will kill him." Shannon said, gritting his teeth in anger.
"Please, listen to me-" Jared begged.
"I'm not scared of him. I made a promise to Mom that I would protect you and I will keep that promise until the day I die."
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