FicWad

/A/N/: this is in Kiros' POV. I love Laguna, really I do. But I needed some Kiros perspective.
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Julia was a pianist at a nightclub in the basement of one of the hotels in Deling City. Ward had taken me to see her when I'd been a recruit and he a cadet, and I invited Laguna to see her the night before our rankings would be announced. A congratulations.

Laguna liked that sort of thing: artsy things like music and museums. He hated it when we went into the City and I made him go to one, but if I made a passing mention of a show, undoubtedly he'd be there as soon as possible. I figured he'd like someone like Julia.

And I was right.

The nightclub was a regular haunt of some of the officers, and had an open bar straight off from staircase that led to the hotel lobby. The small dais where performers were placed faced the wide room and normally had a few instruments set out for those artists. The décor was red and black, and tacky at best, but with comfortable booths and the like.

We sat at a booth kitty-corner to the stage just as Julia came out to make her first appearance of the night. Laguna was talking animatedly with Ward, didn't even notice her entrance, but I was watching her.

To be honest, I was maybe a bit nervous. I knew Laguna liked me-I'd known that since we were recruits; there was no way you couldn't know something like that from someone like Laguna-so it wasn't like I was worried he'd look over at her and instantly ignore anything that had to do with me. But, in all truth, we didn't really know all that much about each other.

Julia was a beautiful woman. She reminded me of a young woman my mother had wanted me to consider marrying before I'd left for Galbadia and the army. All long, pretty lines; dark hair and pale skin; and very large eyes, which she lined in kohl to make them stand out and look that much bigger.

So I wasn't worried about Laguna ignoring me. More that he'd fall for her anyway, and get his heart broken. She had that look about her: the kind of air women have when they like to play with men. And Laguna, despite any protest he might have, was too obvious not to get prayed upon by a person like that, and too fragile to deal with those repercussions.

She began to play. Ward actually managed to get Laguna to be quiet for a little while, and I made a point of watching Laguna out of the corner of my eye as he watched Julia. At first he just stared at his drink, listening to her play. After a while, he looked up, and just watched her play.

I worried about him some times, even though, right now, there was that look in his eyes like I shouldn't because he'd be twenty or something soon, and he obviously didn't need to be protected from the wiles of the world. Still.

There was some small boil of jealousy in my chest, all angry and loud, which I could not pass off as some residual from the experimental Guardian Forces the blade brigade gave to every soldier-off hours and not having them Junctioned and everything. So the jealousy was all mine, but I didn't know quite what to do about it.

It was . . . a little frightening. I'd never been jealous of anybody before. I stood up, somehow managing not to look at Laguna or Julia, told Ward I wasn't feeling well and could he please make sure Laguna got back to the barracks alright, and hurried away from the entire situation.

The night air was cold, and I looked around as though I expected a fight at any time. The buses were running, but I didn't feel like riding; it would only be a bit more stress to add to my confusion. I started walking, aimless and pointless, until I ended up in one of the outdoor gardens.

There, an artificial river ran through. Flat stones lined the banks. I picked up a handful and started to skip them slowly over the glassy surface of the water, trying to tell myself that all this was just from the stress of final exams and inspection and rankings tomorrow.

But the look in Laguna's eyes kept coming back, and that jealousy kept getting worse. It was perfectly irrational. I told myself that, first in my head, and then out loud.

"What's irrational?"

I snapped to attention reflexively, surprised I hadn't heard Laguna walking up to me. He stood at my side, picking up a few rocks of his own. After a few failed attempts at skipping, he sat down and just threw the stones one by one towards the middle of the river.

"When did you get here?"

"I followed you outta the club." He shrugged like it was nothing, then looked up at me. "You okay, Kiros? Went outta there like a false shot. Thought you mighta set yourself on fire."

"I'm fine." It /hurt/, almost physically, to lie to him when he was looking up at me like that. Not the same look as he'd been watching Julia with, but perhaps a more personal one.

He pulled me down towards him, but I wasn't balanced properly on the stones; I slipped, and fell onto him.

Apologizing coarsely, checking to make sure he hadn't hit the stones, it took me a second to realize he was laughing softly. I stared at him stupidly.

"You're upset! That's good. I didn't think you could be, you're always so stoic and gentle and calm. It's crazy, man. Nobody should be that detached."

"I'm not detached." I kept looking him over, until he was laughing a bit harder and pulled my hands away.

"I hit the grass. What are you upset about?"

"I'm not upset!" He laughed again, that bright and sweet one he had when he knew I was trying to get out of doing something for him, and kissed my palms gently. Somebody walked by on the path a few from us, and stared incredulously for a second.

I flinched away from him, but he followed, up onto the grass, still laughing. I stood up, staring down at him as he chuckled. After a while, I toed him in the hip.

"What are you laughing about?"

"I'm happy! You actually are a person under that perfect soldier exterior." He grabbed my ankle, and pulled me down, still laughing. I grumbled a little as he crawled up to me, pining my shoulders into the grass and trying his best to smother his little laughs. They still bubbled up annoyingly.

I grabbed his wrist, tight, and pulled it off my shoulder as I sat up. He hummed softly, still chuckling every once in a while, and asked me, again, what I was upset about.

"I'm not upset," I insisted. That laugh slipped out again, and I snarled, "/What are you laughing about/?"

"No need to get mad at me. I'm not laughing at you-."

"Don't say you're laughing with me." He frowned a little, grabbing my shoulder before I could push myself back up. I stared at the grass under my fingers, and tried to understand why I was so upset. He hadn't done anything. And it wasn't like I'd ever gotten upset over anything he'd ever actually done in the first place-frustrated maybe, but never /mad/.

"Is this about that pianist? Julia, or whatever?"

"Why would you ask /that/?" He shrugged a little, smiling a bit and staring at me innocently. I shook my head. "It's not about Julia."

"You're /lying/." He sung the last, which was a little annoying. I shook my head again, sighing under my breath.

"We should be getting back."

"Huh!?"

"It's almost ten, and curfew's at eleven-."

"I . . . I got a room at the hotel. I thought that . . . maybe . . . after Ward went back we could . . . you know, hang out a bit or something and not have to worry about curfew or officers or anything." I stared at him, a little bit surprised he'd think of something like that-he was more spur-of-the-moment jump-on-me sort of planning, rather than anything that could so much as vaguely resemble long term seduction.

A bit of the jealousy melted away, but I shook my head.

"How would we get into our rooms before bed call in the morning? We should go ba-." He grabbed my wrist, pulled himself up, and hugged me tightly to his chest. He was pouting a little, staring at me through his eyelashes and murmuring quiet Trabian words against the back of my ear.

"Please? Just . . . don't worry about it, right? I mean . . . this is gonna be our last night in Deling for /how long/, and our last night as cadets and everything. We should . . . make it special."

A bit of jealousy came back, wondering if he'd want to spend a 'last night in Deling' with some pretty young woman with dark hair and pale skin and kohl around her eyes. I shook my head. He laughed a little.

"You're so stubborn some times, Seagul."

"What're you laughing about /now/?"

"Oh c'mon. You gotta see the humor in-."

"I'm not laughing." He sighed, nuzzled the back of my neck. Tried a couple of other tactics that normally worked. I shrugged him off and started walking.

Walking was good. It let me think, let me sort out why I was getting so annoyed with him. I could hear him jogging after me after a little while, and let him drag me up against a wall when he actually caught up with me.

He stared at her like he stared at me, and I had it figured that was what made me most jealous. I wondered: /Would you do this to her? Or is just me you throw up against walls and try to have your way with/?

He watched me curiously for a moment, before removing his hands from my shoulders. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked everywhere but at me, and after some time said, "Apparently I'm contagious."

"What?"

"You . . . were talking out loud. Asking if I only threw you up against walls and . . . . Who's 'her'?" I gaped at him for a moment, wondering if he was serious.

"Julia," I said without thinking. Then I was the one with laughter, though mine was much more bitter than his had been. "You were watching her, tonight, like you used to watch me, when we were kids."

"You mean like when I thought I didn't have a snow-ball's chance in hell of getting with you?"

"Yes-." Perhaps that was a reassurance. He seemed to think so, because he smiled and hugged me, laughing softly.

"You've got no pride in yourself, Kiros Seagul! I love you." That stayed with me, dulling out his next words so they were a numb pulse to my brain: "Even if I do end up liking this Julia girl, I'll always love you."

Slowly, my arms came up and wrapped around him. He smiled against my ear and sighed, then said, "I've still got that room. And they'll charge me extra if I don't use it. Wanna . . ."

"That sounds very nice."

His hand slid against mine shyly as we began to walk back towards the hotel with the nightclub where Julia played. I grabbed it, tightly, and managed to smile at him when he looked over at me.