FicWad

It felt impossible to Gerard, the recent string of events that had led to his current state of being. It was a few weeks since he’d been abandoned by his monster of a girlfriend, and he was standing in the frozen meats section of the local supermarket, with a shivering Frank curled protectively against him. And they were getting on so damn well. “I don’t even fucking like meat.” He muttered. “Remind me why we’re standing here?”
“I want to buy a ham.” Gerard said simply. “I like ham.”
“Fine. Get your fucking ham, I’ll be by the cereals.” He kissed Gerard on the lips quickly and turned with a smile to skip towards the warmer, less scary food aisles.
A while later, they found themselves with a trolley full of almost everything they’d laid eyes upon, slowly trawling through the queue of mindlessly bored customers and cashiers who looked like they’d died inside a long, long time ago. Frank and Gerard stood leaning against a shelf full of boring flavoured gum, giggling and trying not to make it obvious that they were sharing a rude – and slightly personal – joke. It was the whole ‘I have two cocks’ thing all over again; Frank had planned to try and test this theory every time they’d been in public, and today had been no exception. Innocently sauntering down the chocolate aisle with every intention of avoiding any that weren’t labelled ‘low fat’, Gerard had been thinking pure(ish) thoughts when Frank had suddenly appeared and slipped his hand between his legs and started laughing hysterically. Gerard then proceeded to grab about seven bars of the biggest, chunkiest, fattiest looking chocolate he could find and throw them in the trolley, as Gerard reminded himself with a little smile that he had no weight-conscious fiancée anymore to frown upon his choices.
But he could hardly believe he was here: he could hardly believe that his own fucking fiancée leaving him would turn out to have such a good effect on him. He much, much happier than he’d been in a while…possibly in a good few years, and they hadn’t even had sex yet. Maybe that was part of why he was so happy: he knew it wasn’t just the physical needs that were being satisfied.
“Holy shit, you know what?” Frank said suddenly. “We didn’t get any pop tarts.”
Gerard gasped, a look of mock-shock on his face, but Frank scarpered off quickly and Gerard realised that he was fully serious. As the queue moved forward and Frank still wasn’t back, he sighed and turned to face the cashier, who stared at him for a few seconds before winking, slowly and deliberately.
He frowned back, a little startled, and began to unload the shopping.
“Wanna know what time I get off?” the cashier asked. He was about Gerard’s age, maybe younger, and with a piercing in the middle of his nostrils. A septum. An I’m-a-spanish-bull piercing. He was also wearing a pink t-shirt under his work overalls, and a little name badge that said ‘Shane.’
“Uh, not really, no thanks.” He replied, going a little red.
“Oh, sure you do.” Shane replied, a smirk developing on his pock-marked little face. He reached out a hand and tugged on Gerard’s, causing him to drop the alphabetic spaghetti hoops he’d been attempting to subtly buy. “I saw you and your little boyfriend back there. I don’t think he’s good enough for y-”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Frank bellowed, grabbing Gerard’s hand and wrenching it back before clutching it to his chest. “Stay the fuck away.” He was glaring angrily, chest rising and falling with each heavy breath.
“Frank,” Gerard muttered, staring at the shopping, “calm down. We need to pay, and then we can fucking leave and never come back, okay?” Frank nodded angrily but stayed quiet, distracting himself by helping to unload the rest. Shane continued to scan their shopping, all the time with a repulsively deviant smirk on his face. When they’d paid, Frank grabbed the trolley and tugged Gerard straight outside, his face still set in a thick mask of irritation.
“What was he saying to you?” he finally blurted out, once they were in the car. Gerard was sort of worried – he’d never seen him like this before. Sure, he overreacted a lot, but never because he was being protective…Gerard didn’t know how he was supposed to respond.
“Uh,” he replied slowly, “he was asking if I wanted to know what time he finished work. I said no, and he said that he’d seen you and me together, but then you interru- I mean, you stopped him before he got any further.” Gerard’s eyes grew larger in an attempt to convince Frank that that was genuinely all that happened, and he leant up and kissed his neck slowly. “I swear, that’s all. He didn’t hurt me, and I know I should’ve stood up for myself, but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”
He felt Frank relax a little bit and let out a heavy, relieved sigh. “I know. I know, I just don’t like it.. I don’t want anyone to think that they can just…” Frank turned his head and kissed Gerard properly, without even bothering to finish his sentence, and despite the soft lips pressing almost desperately on to his, Gerard’s attention was focused mainly on something more pressing: the fact that there was a side to Frank that he’d never seen. A protective, slightly nervous side.
Pulling away for a moment, he smiled at Frank weakly. “Well, I knew the whole time that you’d be back before he’d had a chance to do anything properly nasty, so I felt safe. And he was really fucking ugly, so.” He giggled and felt himself blush a little after saying that, and with a little bit of a struggle on the gearstick, Gerard started to drive back home.
-
On the way back, the fact that Gerard was driving on a three lane motorway in the pouring rain in somebody else’s car – in which he wasn’t even insured – didn’t deter Frank from slowly claiming his whole neck as his own with little kisses and bites and red marks, like flags proving that the land had been won and was owned and was something to be proud of. Something to honour.
“Nnngh,” Gerard moaned quietly, “Frank, p-please don’t, I can’t fucking – ahhh¸fuck.” Most of the car journey was filled this way, and as they turned into the drive, both relieved from the fact that they hadn’t died in a car accident, Frank finally released his neck and kissed him full on. “You really have no clue how much I wanted to do that the whole time.” He said, smirking.
“Oh, yes. I think I do.” Gerard replied, making silly kissy faces at him. Frank just snorted and unlocked the door with the key that Gerard had had cut for him, grabbing a couple of shopping bags and chucking them into the kitchen before going and lying down on the sofa. “You’re the woman in this relationship, you can sort the food out.”
“Woah, someone’s cheered up.” Gerard grinned, and started to unload all the stuff they’d bought. He really didn’t mind unloading, because he hated it when Frank was in a mood – whether it was angry, upset or just down, he really hated it. With Frank, it was always one extreme or another, so when his moods dropped, they really, really spiralled.
At the bottom of one of the bags, he found something that he really wasn’t expecting, and his first reaction sent his heart racing; he knows we’re not going to have sex yet, so why has he bought condoms?
“F-frank?” he asked, his voice a little shakey. Frank stood up immediately, detecting something wasn’t quite right in the way his name found difficulty in leaving Gerard’s mouth.
“Yeah?” he said quietly.
“Why did you buy these?” he asked, putting them down on the table and pushing them towards him.
“They’re for us, dummy. We gotta be ready, for when we decide to uh…take drastic action?” his attempts to lighten the mood weren’t lost on Gerard, who smiled a little bit.
“Oh yeah.” He said, his voice full of relief. “I’m such an idiot.”
“It’s okay. Don’t sweat it.” Frank winked.
Yet despite Gerard’s happiness, his resounding feeling of safety and how much he felt like his old self around Frank, he couldn’t shake off his paranoia. Frank had been a complete sleaze when he’d met him: he’d flirted with him from day one, and Gerard couldn’t help but imagine him talking to everybody else like that. And he wanted to be the only one. He didn’t want to share Frank, not with anybody.
When Gerard finished, he wandered over to Frank and made himself comfortable in his lap, still slightly in awe of everything around him. He felt as though he’d been doing this all his life, but at the same time as though this was something completely new to him. It was like a novelty life, a bonus level. I feel like I’m just waiting for this to come crashing down around me, he wanted to whisper. It’s too perfect. I’m too lucky.
-
Kisses. Coffees. Worried expressions.
They were back at the tattoo parlour and, looking up at the sight before him, nothing had changed since those bleak hours spent here before his life took a voluntary 180 degree flip and churned him out on the other side of things. Frank was happily chatting to a customer, the same cocky grin on his face as Gerard doodled behind the counter, forever the bored receptionist. The sight was the same. The only difference was the way he was happy to openly admire the curves of Frank’s ass or the flop of his messy hair.
Although the situation wasn’t quite what it seemed: it never is. Flashbacks clotted Gerard’s mind, repeatedly reminding him of Frank’s prying fingers and Gerard’s pleading for him to stop…of Frank’s desperation for something sexual and of his determination to wait. It was unpleasant, to say the least. It was awkward and embarrassing. It was hellish, actually. Gerard felt he’d been right about good things coming to an end, although nothing serious had happened yet. Every relationship has its flaws.
It was nearing the end of the working day when the visitor burst through the door, simultaneously bursting any clouds of happiness Gerard had been working on. Bert.
“Frankie!” he shouted, obviously high. He looked daggers and Gerard who instinctively cowered away slightly, his eyes falling to the floor as Bert leapt into Frank’s arms. He didn’t want to watch their embrace. “You ready?”
“Yep.” Frank nodded, not looking at Gerard. “Let me just get my jacket.”
It took all of Gerard’s willpower not to scream. Not to shout or to cry. Bert was just a friend, right? He knew Frank would never do anything with another guy, especially Bert. He’d promised that to him. He’d sworn it. So why should Gerard be worried?
Was it because Frank was so paranoid when that cashier had asked him out? This was much more of an extreme situation and Gerard seemed to be unable to express any emotion at all. Frank hurried back in as he pulled on one of Gerard’s jackets he’d borrowed.
“Gee, I’m going out with Bert. See you tomorrow?” he smiled.
Gerard nodded back, putting on a brave face before pouting sadly. “So I’m not gonna see you tonight?” Pulling his best puppy-eyed face, he searched Frank’s face for signs of betrayal.
“Sadly not, Gerard. I’ll be back pretty late so I wouldn’t want to disturb you.” He replied casually. Bert smirked in the background and Gerard felt his blood boil at his leering face.
“Damn, Frankie. You know you can disturb me anytime, I don’t mind.” He hurried over to him and slipped his arms under Frank’s jacket and around his waist, kissing him quite hard and passionately before stepping away and waving at the two slightly stunned looking men. “Don’t do anything stupid.” He smiled sarcastically. Bert rolled his eyes and yanked Frank out.
Gerard was proud of what he’d just done, but it didn’t assure him as he wanted it to. Okay, Frank had called him Gee and had kissed back, but he was going to be out until late with his gay jackass of a friend, probably drinking. Late enough for Gerard to be out of the way, asleep, curled up alone.
He locked up shop a few minutes early and headed home, an odd feeling of numbness settling in his stomach. He didn’t know what to feel. He knew Bert was jealous and he thought he could trust Frank. The intricacies of their relationship were based on both of their fragile abilities to trust and, if broken, Gerard was pretty certain they’d be impossible to fix.


~right so, anyone who's actually read this update probably hates me right about now. I haven't updated since like, August or something stupid, I'm sorry xD but I'm gonna try and start updating a bit more til I'm finally finished. Meanwhile check out my other recent oneshot if you like the whole erotica thing...http://ficwad.com/story/187319