FicWad

Gerard:

First Blow... I scream
Second Blow... I cry
Third Blow... I squeak
Forth Blow... I beg...

The daily routine of a fifteen year old boy. It sucks. How do I deserve this? What have I ever done wrong...

But maybe I do deserve it. Yeah. Anyone who is different deserves it! Freaks get kicked, normal people get loved. simple. I deserve it. The deep white scars and dried blood says it all. The died hair, the eyeliner, the lips that never smile...

I coughed and chocked as Adam’s fist forced its self into my stomach, tears streaming down my face. My lip bleeds from where I’d bitten it to stop my self from screaming. Adam ordered his mates, Paul and Dylan who held me to the wall, to drop me. My body hit the rough ground. I moaned as I lay there. Adam and his hench men laughed at me.

"Aww... Poor Gee! It hurts doesn‘t it? Poor little emo!", cooed Adam sarcastically, "Why don't you go home and cut your self, freak!”

I didn't know what hurt more. Their mocking words or the bruises on my stomach. I just wanted out of this awful pain that sped through my vains.

"Its rude not to reply when people are talking to you, Emo", teased Adam, kicking me in the head.

"Come on! Its got boring now. Lets find some other sado that needs to be toughened up!", said Dylan, bored as I was no longer replying to the chants and beatings.

"Yea..." sighed Adam, before bending forward so his head was near mine. "One day, you'll thank us..." He whispered in my ear, his breath was cold and icy.

They walked off, still shouting abuse over their shoulders.

I pulled my self to my feet. I shut my eyes tightly, moaned and leaned forward, hugging my stomach. I ran to the nearest bin and vomited. The smell of the bin made it worse. My throat felt sharp and worn, and felt like it had been set on fire every time my lunges pulled in the dirty air of the School's Alley.

I pulled my self away from the disgusting bin and fished into my schoolbag. I pulled a cigarette and lighter out from the bottom of my bag and lit it. I leaned back against the wall as my body relaxed. So good... Yet bad. I've been trying quit, but some times I just need one. Its not like I've been smoking long! Only since I was 12, so only 3 years...
My dad has all ways smoked, so one day the curiosity got the better of me. I stole a ciggy and a lighter, went to the park, lit the cig and sucked. It was heaven.

I finished my smoke, dropped it and stamped it out. I need to get home. Right now, all I need really is a cup of coffee and my bed.

I walked in the front door, ignoring Mikey’s hello.

I opened the basement door before slamming it behind me. I climbed down the steps until I came to a new door. I opened it and went in to my room. I threw my stuff down and clasped on to my bed, head in pillow. Why couldn’t life me easier for me?

All my life I've had it bad, bad, bad! Bullied, rejected, feelings of being lost...
My whole life is just one big fail. My anger bubbled through my vains. I’ve got to get it out. I need it out. I must get rid of it!

I sat up and searched through my bed side table's draw. I rummaged through until I found what I was looking for. I lay down on to my bed, and fiddled with the sharp metal blade in my hand. I pulled my school shirt arm up on my left, revealing the already scarred skin. I pressed the blade against the skin of my arm, and ripped. I bit the inside of my mouth as I felt the pain shoot through me. I placed the blade on the table before admiring my handy work. I held my arm up above me, allowing the red rain to drip on to my face. Call me crazy, but I had to. I had to watch my arm bleed... Just to make sure it was all gone... all the pain was gone... all the anger... All of it... gone...