FicWad

“Dad!” At first I was excited to see him. I still had that little girl version of me hiding inside causing the mere sight of my dad to make me feel a little safer.

“Juliet!” He closed the small distance between us quickly, wrapping me in a hug. “Oh baby girl, I never want to see you in a hospital again.” He mumbled, holding me tightly.

As his hug carried on I began to feel immature though. Everything that led up to this moment was my fault in some way. How could I put that kind of stress on him? He already had it hard enough. “I’m sorry.” My tears faded away in to his shirt. Today was the most I’d shed tears in a long time. I wasn’t keen on continuing on with the emotional displays; I hated crying.

“I’m so sorry.” I continued trying to relay just how bad I felt with words. Words would never be enough.

“Shh.” He had never been one to judge. I was so lucky to have the parents that I did. That’s why I felt it was important to look at Brendon with fresh eyes. I wanted to be like my parents. I wanted to see people for who they were, not how they were perceived. “It’s okay; you’re okay.”

Not so long ago I felt like an adult but I was a fool. I was still just a foolish teenager. Things still went over my head. I still made mistakes. I wasn’t as mature as I’d led myself to believe... And after the other night with Jon I wasn’t even sure if I knew myself.

That night I felt like a stranger.

I was almost afraid of going back to feeling like that but I wasn’t sure if I ever would because I had no idea what had caused it, or if it was just truly who I was.

“I’m going to go talk to the doctor.” My father said, pulling away.

I just nodded, wiping my tears away.

Where had my strength gone? I felt like a scared little kid.

The door closed behind him and an overwhelming feeling of loneliness crept upon me, nearly strangling me.



A quiet knock woke me from my thoughts, much to my pleasure. “Come in.” I called, hoping they heard me. I couldn’t stand another second alone.

Brendon poked his head in, “Hey.” His tone was different this time. He sounded... sad.

“What’s wrong?”

Brendon shrugged, closing the door behind him. “Your dad said you’re getting discharged. Want me to drive you home?”

“I’ll probably be going home with him...”

“Can’t blame me for wanting a little more time with you.” Brendon said, sticking his tongue out.

“Well... I am feeling...” I wasn’t sure what to do. Part of me felt like going home would be the right thing to do while the other half wanted to stay with Brendon.

“Feeling up to hanging out?”

“I think so.” I swung my legs over the side of the bed, prepared to stand up. “Think I could have a second to talk to my dad though?”

“Of course.”

Brendon left the room as I tested the ground. For some reason I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stand. Turned out standing was no problem but at the sudden movement my stomach started growling, notifying me that I was quite hungry.

My dad came in, a smile on his face this time. “Looks like you’re good to go kiddo!”

I smiled in return before asking a question that I’d wondered about for some time, “Dad, why do you trust me so much?”

My dad laughed, “I figured you might ask that eventually and well, I was hoping you weren’t asking from a hospital bed but... I trust you because I know you but not as well as you know yourself. I know that you know what’s best. That’s something I can’t decide for you. I’ll always be here and I’ll always hope for the best but I can’t be by your side for your entire life. You’re going to have to make choices on your own. I’ve never tried to sugarcoat things for you. I think you’re smart enough to know the risks you take with each...action.” He looked around the hospital room and I wondered if any doubts were flickering through his mind.

“Thank you.”

He just nodded, “So, there’s a gentleman out in the hallway that’s asking if you can hang out. What’s your decision?”

“I’m going to go with him...” And hope I’m not making a mistake...

My dad leaned forward, kissing me on the forehead. “Just don’t be gone all night this time. Your mom is worried. She won’t relax until she sees you.”

“I won’t be long.”





****



“How does pizza sound?” Brendon hadn’t started the car yet.

“It sounds like it’s going to take forever.” I replied, glancing at my growling stomach.

Brendon laughed, “I’m sure I have something to snack on at my place.”

“Then it sounds great.”

“Easily pleased... I like that in a lady.” He winked before finally starting his car. “So, Ryan wanted me to ask you to call him...”

“I will.”

“What’s up with you two?”

“What do you mean?” I was genuinely confused and really didn’t want another stupid argument. “We’re friends.”

“Well, I know but... like, close friends?”

“I don’t know him too well but... that is the direction I think we are going in. He’s someone I feel like I can trust.”

“You’re right. Ryan is a good guy. I approve.”

“Well, thanks Dad.” I rolled my eyes, just to ensure that Brendon knew how ridiculous his statement sounded.

Brendon chuckled, “I just mean that I think he’s a good choice. I’ll even... try to be nicer to him.”

“Why don’t you guys get along anyway? I don’t for a second buy the whole ‘friendship broke up because he turned out gay’ thing.”

“Why not?”

“You don’t seem like that kind of guy.” I paused, “Am I wrong?”

“I wish you weren’t but you are.” Brendon frowned, “I’m that kind of guy. We were best friends... he was going through a rough patch and then he just- he came out.” Brendon’s voice began shaking a little. “I was the one person he expected to stand up for him and instead, I was the person who turned on him.”

“But you regret it.” That much was obvious.

“I do.” Brendon inhaled deeply, as if the confession was hard to admit. It probably was. There was definitely more to Brendon than he was letting on.

“Then I’m not wrong.” I smiled at the confused look that crossed his face. “You’re not that kind of person. Actions in the past don’t make you who you are right now.”

“Do you really believe that?” Brendon’s tone took on a hopeful turn.

“Yeah, I really do. I think if you apologized to him... He’d understand.” Ryan struck me as an understanding individual. Being made a social outcast kind of had that effect on a person.

Brendon sighed, “And what if I’ve made another mistake. Do you think everything is easily forgiven?”

“I don’t think anything is easily forgiven.” Sometimes it was hard to forgive people even if you wanted to. “I just think that honesty is good and... you might not be forgiven immediately but at least you’re being yourself and well, if they can’t handle that then... that’s not the end of the world.”

“I don’t think I can be truthful just yet.”

“Take your time.” It was a work in progress.

“Does that... make things worse?”

“The truth doesn’t expire Brendon.”





****



(Brendon’s POV)

You have to tell her...

“This is SO cool!” Juliet said, walking in to the music room that was down the hall from my bedroom. It was sound proofed and equipped with every single instrument that I would ever need. I used to be hugely in to music...

Tell her before school on Monday.

“I’m glad you like it.” I watched her, a tight smile pulling my lips apart. “I’m going to go order the pizza. What kind did you want?”

“I’m pretty picky. How about... Pepperoni and Sausage? Or you know, better yet just Pepperoni.” Juliet ran her fingers over my favorite guitar.

“Pepperoni it is. I’ll be right back.” The number to the pizza place was on the fridge. I ordered pizza frequently since my parents were gone a lot.

Tell her before someone else does...

I was thinking over ways of telling Juliet the truth when something in my pocket vibrated. My phone was dead so this confused me greatly until I pulled out Juliet’s phone. I had forgotten I’d taken it to call 911 earlier. It was Jon. Jon had texted Juliet. Texted her what?

I struggled between checking the message and simply closing her phone. In the end sneaking a peek won over and I opened the text.

-It’s Jon. Are you home yet? Remember, you said you would call me.-

My heart picked up pace as I stared at the text. I quickly deleted it, knowing that my lie was taking me further down a road I didn’t even want to be on. There was little I could do at the moment though. If Juliet learned the truth from someone else... Well, that just wouldn’t be good at all.





When I walked in to the music room Juliet was going over some sheet music I had. “What You Want To Be is a good song. I don’t know too many other people who listen to Archie Star.”

“I’ve never actually performed that song in front of anyone. I’ve never had anyone to sing it with.” I admitted, sitting beside her on a stool.

“Do you... want to?”

“With you? Sure.” I loved the way Juliet’s voice sounded beside mine. We blended well together, despite whatever the fucking choir teacher said. I hated that guy.

Juliet suddenly nervously looked away, “You know... Maybe it’s not such a good idea.” Why was she attempting to back out of singing?

“It’s not like I’m going to judge your singing or anything. I’ve already heard it. You’re good.” I assured her, hoping to see her relax. She didn’t.

“It’s just... that’s a chapter of my life that is over. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just- sometimes I forget that I don’t do that anymore.”

“Why is it over?” I paused, thinking about when I ‘quit’ music. “Why would you give something up if you enjoy it?”

“Why would you?” I figured she would throw that back in my face.

“This isn’t about me.”

“It isn’t about me either.”

“You’re impossible.” She really was.

Juliet chuckled, shaking her head.

“What’s so funny?”

Her smile gave me goose bumps, “I was just about to say the same thing about you.” She informed me, looking amused. “... Are we going to be able to hear the pizza delivery person if we are in here?” The moment we were sharing was broken by the question but I realized she was right.

“Probably not. Want me to make you a snack?”

“You read my mind.” Juliet set my guitar down in the spot it had been and headed for the door.

“Hey, Juliet?” She stopped in place, hand on the door knob.

“What?”

“Do you think that maybe you could, like sing for me sometime? I know you said you gave it up but... just for me, just one song?”

“I think I could do that, yeah.”



**



(I think I just realized why I suck so much at writing romances, which is pretty much all I write on this site... I drag things out way too much. I just have trouble writing them in love and staying in love unless I actually have them knowing each other for awhile and going through random stuff, including fights, together. But it equals... terribly long and drawn out stories. I really hope I don’t drag this out for too long. X.x)