Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Easy A
As I was walking towards the car park, I noticed Anna walking down in front of me. She was wearing her chipmunk costume but with the head part off. I ran over “Oh my god, the illusion is shattered!” We both laughed “Don’t they shoot you if you take your mask off at Disney World?”
“No, no, I think they just fire you at Disney World. You’re thinking of Disney Land.”
“Oh yeah, I always forget that Disney World went blue after the last election.”
“Anyway, are you going to Melony’s party tonight?”
“I hadn’t planned on it.”
“Neither had I. I’m going to a rehearsal dinner for my sister’s wedding. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
“Stay excellent!”
Zia picked me up in her car and we drove up the tallest hill in our entire town. From there you can see everything from my house, to Zia’s house, to the school. Couples used to come up here to make out and stuff but then this place became ‘uncool’ and well, now nobody comes up here.
We sat on the hood of Zia’s car looking down on the city “Okay, so Kirsty told me that you were with like six guys in a hot tub…” Zia told me.
I didn’t comment on the fact that Kirsty had basically had called me gay “Sounds like a lot of work.” I commented “But at least it’s better than getting it on with some old lady…”
“Ew. Who said that?”
“You know that Aven kid?” Zia nodded “That’s what someone told her.”
“Isn’t she a lesbian?”
“Yes completely.” My phone started ringing in the car so I reached into the window and pulled it out “Oh speak of the devil!” I said to Aven “Hey! I was just talking about you with my friend Zia.” He said something to me “Oh you know Zia, bad-tempered, bitch, bi- Yes, that’s Zia!”
“Bi?” Zia asked “What is bi? Hello! What is bi?”
I pushed Zia away and hung up the phone “What do you want?”
“What is bi? Bedazzling personality? Uhh… Big personality?”
“Nope, big tits.”
“That’s my identifier?” I nodded “Yes!”
“Alright…”
“Anyway, what did Aven want?”
“Oh, she wants to come over to my house later or whatever.”
“Yeah, she probably wants to borrow an outfit.”
“Ooh whatever, big tits.”
“Yes!” Zia shouted before screaming to the entire town while shaking her chest “Woo! Big tits!”
Later when I got home, I was sat in my room when I heard somebody ring the doorbell. Knowing that it was Aven, I opened the door and walked onto the landing. Mom got to the door before me “Hello?”
“Hi, I’m here to see Gerard…”
“Oh come on in.” Mom grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house “Any friend of Gerard’s is a friend of my sons. Wait here a second.” She walked to the bottom of the stairs “Gerard! There’s a young lady here. She said something about asking for your hand in marriage.”
I went to the top of the stairs before skipping down them saying “Oh happy days Mama! I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness!” I grabbed Aven’s arm and started pulling her upstairs “A lady caller hooray!”
Laughing, I pulled Aven into my room and asked “So, what do you want?”
“Do you wanna go out with me?” Aven asked “I mean, do you wanna be my boyfriend?”
“Aven, what are you talking about? Earlier you told me you were a lesbian.”
“Well I am, but you said I should pretend to be straight…”
“Yeah but not with me! I mean you’re a nice girl but you’re not really my type.”
“Well you’re not really my type either.”
“I know!” I giggled “I got that P where you’d rather see a V!”
“Look, do you wanna have sex with me or not?” Aven asked, raising one eye-brow.
My eyes widened “Oh my god dude! You did not understand that at all! That was not what I was trying to say!”
“So… You were saying I should just pretend to have sex with somebody?”
I sighed heavily and smiled at her “Yes! Thank you!”
We both stood in silence for a moment while Aven made suggestive faces at me. I shook my head slowly “No. No, no. No. Not gonna happen.”
“Wait, just hear me out-“
“No!”
“We could help each other out here!”
“You are on crack!” I cried “Alright? And not the good kind! Why don’t you just make someone up like I did?”
“Who’s going to believe me?” Aven asked, her eyes filling with sudden tears “You don’t know what it’s like to be picked on every day just because of your sexuality. And yeah we can all sit around and fantasise about how life is going to be better one day but it’s not that day yet, it’s today and it sucks. There’s only one way round it and you were smart enough to think of it.”
“I don’t know Aven…”
“Look, you wanna keep up this slutty image of yourself and I want people to think I’m straight. It’s a win, win situation!”
“What makes you think I like being thought of as a slut?”
“Because at least you’re being thought of.”
I thought about it for a moment “You’d better know that I don’t do anything half-assed. We’ll do it at Melony’s party tomorrow night. All of your harassers will be there.”
“Thank you so much!” Aven cried.
“Well just be sure you’re ready to deal with the consequences.”
“No, no, I think they just fire you at Disney World. You’re thinking of Disney Land.”
“Oh yeah, I always forget that Disney World went blue after the last election.”
“Anyway, are you going to Melony’s party tonight?”
“I hadn’t planned on it.”
“Neither had I. I’m going to a rehearsal dinner for my sister’s wedding. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
“Stay excellent!”
Zia picked me up in her car and we drove up the tallest hill in our entire town. From there you can see everything from my house, to Zia’s house, to the school. Couples used to come up here to make out and stuff but then this place became ‘uncool’ and well, now nobody comes up here.
We sat on the hood of Zia’s car looking down on the city “Okay, so Kirsty told me that you were with like six guys in a hot tub…” Zia told me.
I didn’t comment on the fact that Kirsty had basically had called me gay “Sounds like a lot of work.” I commented “But at least it’s better than getting it on with some old lady…”
“Ew. Who said that?”
“You know that Aven kid?” Zia nodded “That’s what someone told her.”
“Isn’t she a lesbian?”
“Yes completely.” My phone started ringing in the car so I reached into the window and pulled it out “Oh speak of the devil!” I said to Aven “Hey! I was just talking about you with my friend Zia.” He said something to me “Oh you know Zia, bad-tempered, bitch, bi- Yes, that’s Zia!”
“Bi?” Zia asked “What is bi? Hello! What is bi?”
I pushed Zia away and hung up the phone “What do you want?”
“What is bi? Bedazzling personality? Uhh… Big personality?”
“Nope, big tits.”
“That’s my identifier?” I nodded “Yes!”
“Alright…”
“Anyway, what did Aven want?”
“Oh, she wants to come over to my house later or whatever.”
“Yeah, she probably wants to borrow an outfit.”
“Ooh whatever, big tits.”
“Yes!” Zia shouted before screaming to the entire town while shaking her chest “Woo! Big tits!”
Later when I got home, I was sat in my room when I heard somebody ring the doorbell. Knowing that it was Aven, I opened the door and walked onto the landing. Mom got to the door before me “Hello?”
“Hi, I’m here to see Gerard…”
“Oh come on in.” Mom grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house “Any friend of Gerard’s is a friend of my sons. Wait here a second.” She walked to the bottom of the stairs “Gerard! There’s a young lady here. She said something about asking for your hand in marriage.”
I went to the top of the stairs before skipping down them saying “Oh happy days Mama! I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness!” I grabbed Aven’s arm and started pulling her upstairs “A lady caller hooray!”
Laughing, I pulled Aven into my room and asked “So, what do you want?”
“Do you wanna go out with me?” Aven asked “I mean, do you wanna be my boyfriend?”
“Aven, what are you talking about? Earlier you told me you were a lesbian.”
“Well I am, but you said I should pretend to be straight…”
“Yeah but not with me! I mean you’re a nice girl but you’re not really my type.”
“Well you’re not really my type either.”
“I know!” I giggled “I got that P where you’d rather see a V!”
“Look, do you wanna have sex with me or not?” Aven asked, raising one eye-brow.
My eyes widened “Oh my god dude! You did not understand that at all! That was not what I was trying to say!”
“So… You were saying I should just pretend to have sex with somebody?”
I sighed heavily and smiled at her “Yes! Thank you!”
We both stood in silence for a moment while Aven made suggestive faces at me. I shook my head slowly “No. No, no. No. Not gonna happen.”
“Wait, just hear me out-“
“No!”
“We could help each other out here!”
“You are on crack!” I cried “Alright? And not the good kind! Why don’t you just make someone up like I did?”
“Who’s going to believe me?” Aven asked, her eyes filling with sudden tears “You don’t know what it’s like to be picked on every day just because of your sexuality. And yeah we can all sit around and fantasise about how life is going to be better one day but it’s not that day yet, it’s today and it sucks. There’s only one way round it and you were smart enough to think of it.”
“I don’t know Aven…”
“Look, you wanna keep up this slutty image of yourself and I want people to think I’m straight. It’s a win, win situation!”
“What makes you think I like being thought of as a slut?”
“Because at least you’re being thought of.”
I thought about it for a moment “You’d better know that I don’t do anything half-assed. We’ll do it at Melony’s party tomorrow night. All of your harassers will be there.”
“Thank you so much!” Aven cried.
“Well just be sure you’re ready to deal with the consequences.”
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