Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > No Reflection
~4 days ago~
Elissa Caldwell rushed home from school, into her house and slammed her bedroom door shut before locking it and sinking down onto the floor as the tears in her eyes finally spilled down her cheeks, something she had been holding back for several hours now. But it felt good to release the tears, she didn’t care that it ruined her make up. She sat there for several moments crying, then wiped at her eyes.
She had just recently turned 16, but she hated her life. She hated the people at school, the one’s who made fun of her any chance they got. Her hair was wrong, her clothes were dumb, her make up was too dark, her music was shitty. No one understood. Her parent’s were divorced, her father left her mother for a younger woman and her mother fought and worked hard to pay the bills. Her sister was in college and her young brother was just as bad as the kids at school. Her mother always nagged her to be more like Lucy, her perfect older sister. She had enough of it, 16 years worth of this shit. She put on The Black Parade album and went to sleep with fresh tears on her face.
The girl awoke hours later to see that it was nearly midnight. She had thought that sleeping would have helped, but it only made her despair increase. The world was only silent and peaceful when she slept, so why not sleep forever? Yes, she had considered the option so many times and thought of all the ways to do it, but she had never had the courage. She was always such a pussy, she could never do anything that she said she would do.
She moved out of bed and turned on the lamp on her nightstand, looking across the room in her full length mirror, hating the reflection that stared back at her. She was too tall for a girl, taller than most of the girls in her sophomore class and taller than some of the boys. She wasn’t as thin as the other girls either, she couldn’t fit into their skimpy little dresses. She liked her clothing style, but felt that if she wore what the other girls thought was pretty, then maybe she wouldn’t get bullied the way she did. Her hair was long and a murky brown color, she wanted to dye it black, she thought it would be so pretty that way, but her mother kept telling her no. She was ugly, and she hated it. Her eyes were dark brown, no one liked brown eyes, people told her they were the color of shit. She looked away from the mirror and sunk to floor, curling up and turning on her stereo again, listening to the songs at a low volume so no one in the house would wake up. She remembered listening to this album with her best friend Rita many times, but Rita was gone now, dead, buried 6 feet under like everyone else was that ever cared about her. Her grandparents loved her and she knew it, but they died in a car accident several years ago.
All the thinking brought tears to her eyes, everyone who ever cared about her had died, maybe she was a big ugly curse. No, she wasn’t important enough to ever be a curse, she was just a waste of space like her father had told her before.
It took her some more thinking, and then she picked up a pen and wrote in a nearby notebook:
Hey Cruel World-
You don’t need me anymore, I suppose you never saw that I needed you. I’ll be going now, to a place of escape. This isn’t the worst thing that will ever happen, you probably will forget in a couple months anyway. It’s like Gerard Way said, there’s a beauty in death, and we have to die inside and rise from our ashes. So when you find me, cremate me, and my ashes will soar.
-Elissa
The girl read over the note as tears fell from her cheeks, she flattened it out and lay it on her bed, as she moved down the hall to the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and looking inside at all of her mothers prescription pain killers for her bad back. She selected one bottle and peered down the hallway, making sure no one was there as she tip toed into the kitchen and the found the unopened bottle of vodka that was being saved for one of her mothers depressed nights. She took the bottle and the pills to her room and locked the door, sitting down on her bed and opening the pills.
The girl took a deep breath and swallowed two, then shakily opened the vodka, taking a drink without hesitation, forcing to keep it down. Now that she has gone through the first bit, the rest would be simple for her, and it was. Within the next 7 minutes, the pills had all been emptied down her throat and a large portion of the bottle of vodka had been drank. Her vision blurred and the room spun, numbness took over her body and soon all was gone.
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Hey, me again, thanks for reading this and the last chapter, and thank you for the reviews. This chapter was just a look back in time, the rest will be present say. I hope you liked it, and if any one get's pissed because I wrote something about suicide, than you can just fuck off, all my stories are highly controversial, deal with it.
Elissa Caldwell rushed home from school, into her house and slammed her bedroom door shut before locking it and sinking down onto the floor as the tears in her eyes finally spilled down her cheeks, something she had been holding back for several hours now. But it felt good to release the tears, she didn’t care that it ruined her make up. She sat there for several moments crying, then wiped at her eyes.
She had just recently turned 16, but she hated her life. She hated the people at school, the one’s who made fun of her any chance they got. Her hair was wrong, her clothes were dumb, her make up was too dark, her music was shitty. No one understood. Her parent’s were divorced, her father left her mother for a younger woman and her mother fought and worked hard to pay the bills. Her sister was in college and her young brother was just as bad as the kids at school. Her mother always nagged her to be more like Lucy, her perfect older sister. She had enough of it, 16 years worth of this shit. She put on The Black Parade album and went to sleep with fresh tears on her face.
The girl awoke hours later to see that it was nearly midnight. She had thought that sleeping would have helped, but it only made her despair increase. The world was only silent and peaceful when she slept, so why not sleep forever? Yes, she had considered the option so many times and thought of all the ways to do it, but she had never had the courage. She was always such a pussy, she could never do anything that she said she would do.
She moved out of bed and turned on the lamp on her nightstand, looking across the room in her full length mirror, hating the reflection that stared back at her. She was too tall for a girl, taller than most of the girls in her sophomore class and taller than some of the boys. She wasn’t as thin as the other girls either, she couldn’t fit into their skimpy little dresses. She liked her clothing style, but felt that if she wore what the other girls thought was pretty, then maybe she wouldn’t get bullied the way she did. Her hair was long and a murky brown color, she wanted to dye it black, she thought it would be so pretty that way, but her mother kept telling her no. She was ugly, and she hated it. Her eyes were dark brown, no one liked brown eyes, people told her they were the color of shit. She looked away from the mirror and sunk to floor, curling up and turning on her stereo again, listening to the songs at a low volume so no one in the house would wake up. She remembered listening to this album with her best friend Rita many times, but Rita was gone now, dead, buried 6 feet under like everyone else was that ever cared about her. Her grandparents loved her and she knew it, but they died in a car accident several years ago.
All the thinking brought tears to her eyes, everyone who ever cared about her had died, maybe she was a big ugly curse. No, she wasn’t important enough to ever be a curse, she was just a waste of space like her father had told her before.
It took her some more thinking, and then she picked up a pen and wrote in a nearby notebook:
Hey Cruel World-
You don’t need me anymore, I suppose you never saw that I needed you. I’ll be going now, to a place of escape. This isn’t the worst thing that will ever happen, you probably will forget in a couple months anyway. It’s like Gerard Way said, there’s a beauty in death, and we have to die inside and rise from our ashes. So when you find me, cremate me, and my ashes will soar.
-Elissa
The girl read over the note as tears fell from her cheeks, she flattened it out and lay it on her bed, as she moved down the hall to the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and looking inside at all of her mothers prescription pain killers for her bad back. She selected one bottle and peered down the hallway, making sure no one was there as she tip toed into the kitchen and the found the unopened bottle of vodka that was being saved for one of her mothers depressed nights. She took the bottle and the pills to her room and locked the door, sitting down on her bed and opening the pills.
The girl took a deep breath and swallowed two, then shakily opened the vodka, taking a drink without hesitation, forcing to keep it down. Now that she has gone through the first bit, the rest would be simple for her, and it was. Within the next 7 minutes, the pills had all been emptied down her throat and a large portion of the bottle of vodka had been drank. Her vision blurred and the room spun, numbness took over her body and soon all was gone.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey, me again, thanks for reading this and the last chapter, and thank you for the reviews. This chapter was just a look back in time, the rest will be present say. I hope you liked it, and if any one get's pissed because I wrote something about suicide, than you can just fuck off, all my stories are highly controversial, deal with it.
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