Categories > Theatre > Wicked

Hold Out

by FabalaFae 4 reviews

Glinda can't stop thinking about how Elphaba abandoned her years ago... when they meet again, will it cure Glinda's loneliness? Takes place during the City of Emeralds section of the book. Pretty...

Category: Wicked - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Characters: Elphaba, Fiyero, Galinda - Warnings: [!!!] [X] - Published: 2006-07-03 - Updated: 2006-07-04 - 3841 words - Complete

Hold out, my sweet.
Glinda awoke with a shudder, feeling the cold of the winter night seeping through the frilly blankets and the thin silk that clung to her skin. Not that nightmare again. She couldn't take it anymore, couldn't deal with the ghost of her past resurfacing.
She had managed to put it out of her mind for almost five years. Why was that day back again? Each night, she awoke with a start, terrified and feeling a gentle kiss fading from her cheek. Each night, those words echoed in the dark. Hold out, my sweet.
"I held out," she said aloud, just in case anyone was listening. "I held out for five years. Where are you?"
There was no response, nothing but silence. Chuffrey was off on business, somewhere in the Pertha Hills; Glinda didn't bother to remember. Even when he was in the Emerald City with her, he slept soundly in his room down the hall, never hearing her cry out in her sleep. Elphie, no. No! Elphie, get in this cab, don't be a fool.
Glinda stood, pulling her bathrobe around her as she crossed the room to the window. The moonlight glimmered on the City, illuminating a few quiet cabs that slunk through the streets to deposit passengers back at home after late nights. Chuffrey thought that his wife hated cabs because of the possibility that they might be dirty, that the scum of the Emerald City might have sat in the seats only minutes before. Glinda never corrected him, never told him that she was afraid that whoever she was with, whether Chuffrey or Crope or some friend who meant nothing to her, would allow the cab to carry her away alone.
Glinda sighed, leaning her forehead lightly against the cool windowpane and staring down at the now empty street. Why did she keep reliving the day when Elphaba had left her? Why did she awake every night, expecting to see her roommate - no, her friend - disappearing into the crowd?
What Glinda really wondered, she realized, was why this memory scared her so much. Was she afraid for Elphaba, afraid of what might have happened to the girl who disappeared forever? Or was she afraid for herself? She had been so hopeful then, expecting Elphaba to come back, expecting school to be a little less painful and lonely, expecting to fall in love one day. Here she was, five years later, alone even though she was constantly surrounded by friends, married to a man who seemed to care nothing about her.
It felt wrong to be thinking such thoughts while standing in Chuffrey's house, so Glinda opened the door to her large closet, looking for something to slip into so that she could escape into the city streets. She chose a simple black dress, the only article in her closet without lace, frills, and glitter. She had purchased it for her father-in-law's funeral a year ago and hadn't worn it since, but it seemed perfect for tonight. After all, she was mourning Elphaba and mourning the bright future that she had once thought she had. As she carefully worked with the buttons on the back, she couldn't help thinking that this was the only thing in her closet that looked like it might belong to Elphaba and not to her. She pulled on a cloak, tucking her golden curls into the hood, and slipped through the house silently, making her escape without waking the servants.
There were too many people in this neighborhood who might recognize her despite her choice in clothing, so she headed for the warehouse district, where the buildings were mostly empty and the few poor tenants would hopefully be asleep. The streets of the City were nearly silent, and it was all that Glinda could do to keep herself from crying as her memories played out in her mind.
A sudden noise startled her; it was a voice, one that seemed to be calling out to her. She turned, glancing carefully out from under her hood.
"Fae?" There was a man nearly a block behind her, peering at her as he hurried to catch up.
"No," she replied, and he nodded after catching a glimpse of her face. He turned a corner, heading away from her, but she didn't move. There was something familiar about him that she couldn't quite identify. Maybe she knew him. She certainly didn't know anyone named Fae, however, so she continued, drifting through the streets slowly.
She came across no one else until she had walked almost the entire length of the warehouse district, drifting between patches of moonlight and long stretches of shadow. She paused when she saw a man leave one of the buildings, heading away from her quickly with the same gait of the man she had seen before. This must be where his Fae lives, she thought to herself, seeing another figure emerge from the doorway.
"Yero," Fae called softly from the darkened stairs, watching him disappear into the shadows.
Glinda stayed where she was, wanting to watch what would unfold between Yero and Fae if for no other reason than to keep her mind off herself and her nightmares. Fae's darkened shape vanished somewhat as she sank down to sit on the steps. Glinda could only make out the top of her black hair.
There was silence, a long silence, interrupted by a single sob that Fae accidentally let escape. Glinda was about to continue her walk, bored with the lack of entertainment provided by the shadowed girl, when she heard Fae gasp in pain. "Are you all right?" Glinda asked, stepping forward to see what had happened to the girl.
"Fine," Fae replied, raising her arm so that she could wipe away her tears on her sleeve. "Crying just hurts a little, that's all."
Glinda nodded, about to turn and walk away, when the words finally sank in. Elphaba had never cried, at least not that Glinda had seen, but it must have been painful for her to do so. She was allergic to water, after all. Swallowing hard at the memory of her old friend, Glinda sat down on the steps beside Fae, reaching out to catch a new teardrop on her manicured fingers. Fae flinched, not wanting to be touched, but Glinda was gentle, drying the soft skin beneath the girl's eyelashes. "I had a friend who was allergic to water once," she said, wishing that the moonlight would illuminate the girl's face and wash away the remaining doubt. "Her name was..."
"Don't say it," Fae warned her, standing up abruptly. Once she rose out of the shadows, there was just enough light for Glinda to make out her features. The skin color wasn't quite clear, but she didn't need any more evidence.
"Elphaba," Glinda called as her friend tore up the stairs. "Elphie, please, don't run away from me again."
A door slammed, and Glinda headed in towards the sound, finding the entrance to Elphaba's room at the top of the stairs. The door wouldn't open, but it allowed loud sobs to escape. "Not Glinda," Elphaba's voice murmured between tears and cries of pain. "Even Nessa I could deal with... but not Glinda. Anyone but Glinda."
"Have I been so awful to you in the past?" Glinda asked through the door.
"No," Elphaba replied.
"Haven't you missed me?"
"That's exactly the problem." The reply ended in another cry of pain.
Glinda leaned all of her weight against the door. "Let me in, Elphaba. You're hurting yourself." The door gave way, and she stumbled into the dark room. She didn't bother to look around, turning her immediate attention to Elphaba, who was on the floor, trying desperately to get the tears away from her skin. Glinda knelt beside her, offering a soft handkerchief to her old friend.
"I'm not usually a mess like this," Elphaba told her, dabbing at her eyes. "It's just that Fiyero and I just had a fight, and now this..."
"Fiyero?" Glinda smiled, realizing that she had indeed known the man who she had met on the street. Another old friend from school, one who she had run into just a few days ago. She had thought that he was having an affair from the glow in his eyes, but with Elphaba?
"I shouldn't have said that," Elphaba moaned unhappily, rising to her feet.
"Don't worry. I had a feeling that something like that was going on." Of course, it was only half true... She had thought that, maybe, Fiyero might see Elphaba somewhere, but she had never imagined the two as a pair.
"Glinda." Elphaba stepped into a shaft of moonlight on her way towards the table, making it obvious that she was Glinda's old friend; her skin was still as green as it had always been, and Glinda couldn't help smiling. "I've missed you, Glinda, missed you more than anything else. How are you?"
"Lonely without you." It wasn't something that she would have admitted to anyone else, but Elphaba had already shown more weakness tonight than Glinda had thought possible. Maybe, when they were together, they could let down the carefully constructed lies that they were living. Maybe this was why they had missed each other so desperately.
"Fiyero said that you were married," Elphaba said, carefully folding the handkerchief, "and that you're quite involved with the high society of the City."
"That doesn't mean that I can't be lonely." Now it was her turn to cry. Elphaba drew closer, taking her old roommate in her arms. "You don't know how lucky you are to have Fiyero. I've never had a chance to know what love is like."
Elphaba kissed Glinda's cheek gently, like she had all those years earlier just before disappearing. "You may have never been in love, Glinda," she whispered, her breath soft and warm on Glinda's ear, "but you have always been loved."

Fiyero stopped as he got to the club, realizing how much he dreaded the walk up to his room. He always hated to leave Elphaba angry; she had told him too many times that she had been trained to pick up and move in a few minutes, and the thought of losing her was too much to bear. If she had decided to leave this time, she was probably gone already, but he turned anyway, hurriedly retracing his steps. He strode faster and faster until he eventually broke into a run, tearing down the streets. He paused once he got to the warehouse district to catch his breath, approaching Elphaba's door slowly. He couldn't afford to startle her, not at this point. He only hoped that, when he reached the top of the steps and knocked on her door, she would open it and let him back in.
He didn't need to knock, however, since the door was partially open, allowing Malky, the white cat, to slip out. The cat ignored him as always, padding softly down the stairs. Fiyero couldn't spare a thought for Malky, however; he had to swallow hard, fighting the sick feeling that was growing in the pit of his stomach. Did this mean that she was gone, that she had left the cat behind and vanished? Maybe she was just being careless, forgetting to close and latch the door... But Elphaba was never careless, especially when it came to her safety.
As awful as the thought of her leaving was, the sickness came from a third possibility, one that forced Fiyero to lean against the wall, wondering whether or not he dared to push the door open. What if she had been caught? What if the Gale Force had learned of her underground movement against the Wizard? He reached for the doorknob, but he could do no more. It was quite possible that Elphaba was inside, asleep in bed or reading one of her books, but how would he deal with the sight of an empty room? Worse, what would he do if he found her body, tortured and beaten, lying on the floor, or what if the body was gone and only the bloodstains remained?
Why did he have to go and fall in love with Elphaba, of all people?
He looked to Malky for help, but the cat didn't seem to care. With a deep breath, Fiyero opened the door the rest of the way, taking a slow first step inside.
"Is that good, my sweet?"
Confused and relieved, Fiyero closed the door behind him. It was certainly Elphaba's voice, but who was she talking to? She might have heard him coming, but her words hardly seemed to make any sense. Maybe she was talking in her sleep. He was just about to speak to her when he heard another voice.
Elphaba's companion sounded familiar, but he couldn't seem to place a name to the voice. It was a woman, it seemed, one whose voice was considerably higher than Elphaba's. "Oh, Elphie... yes."
The room was dark, but it was obvious that they weren't sitting at the table. They were on the bed, and he moved through the shadows to get a better view. Elphaba was just as she had been when he left, wearing the dark, modest dress that she had no opportunity to remove on nights like these, when they were distracted by bitter arguments.
Fiyero squinted in the dark, watching Elphaba give her companion a series of possessive kisses. His initial pang of jealousy was tainted with lust; at least she wasn't with another man, and there was something wonderful about seeing her so utterly dominating the girl. He still couldn't tell who she was, and he had no clue what friends Elphaba had in the Emerald City besides himself. The girl was small and pale, her creamy skin contrasting drastically with Elphaba's dark clothing and green complexion. She was blonde, her ringlets bouncing slightly as she leaned up to return Elphaba's kiss.
Glinda? Yes, it had to be Glinda. The voice, which didn't utter any more words but instead let loose desperate moans, suddenly seemed to be hers, and he drew near enough so that her face came clearly into view.
He laughed, unsure of how else to react to the sight. Lady Glinda, lying naked in his mistress's bed, allowing Elphaba to elicit such moans and cries from her. Glinda's eyes went wide when she heard him.
"You might consider knocking, Fiyero," Elphaba said, looking up only once she was finished speaking. Her voice was incredibly calm, especially in contrast with Glinda, who was desperately pawing for something to cover her body.
Fiyero averted his eyes for Glinda's comfort. "You left the door open. I came in because I was terrified that something might have happened to you." He was aware of the bitterness in his voice, but he couldn't help feeling a little angry. He had been worrying about finding her dead body, while she had been tangled up in another lover.
He looked back at the bed to see that Glinda had wrapped herself in a sheet and that Elphaba was staring at him. "Are you angry with me?" she asked, her tone seeming to challenge him to be mad at her.
"Not for this," he said much more gently, watching the panic fade from Glinda's face. "I'm angry that the door wasn't closed and locked. I was fearing for the worst, Fabala." He didn't use her full name for fear of upsetting her, but "Fae" didn't seem to convey how serious he was... and how in love.
"It was a mistake. I'm sorry to have worried you."
"I thought that you hadn't seen Glinda since you vanished five years ago," Fiyero commented, starting to feel that Elphaba would be happier if he left.
If she did want him to leave, she didn't say anything to that effect. "I haven't. She found me tonight, completely by accident."
"We were just catching up," Glinda added a bit too quickly, hoping to excuse her behavior.
Fiyero smiled. "Well, then... I guess I didn't know exactly what was going on in those rooms over in Crage Hall. But tell me, how did you manage to do this with Nanny and Nessarose in the adjacent room?"
Elphaba didn't laugh. "This is the first time that this has happened," she told him seriously. "I always cared for Glinda, of course... But we were merely talking, and when she brought up her ass of a husband..."
Glinda cut her off. "Elphie! You don't even know Sir Chuffrey."
Elphaba stroked Glinda's cheek with a few green fingertips. "Anyone who doesn't treat you like you deserve, my sweet, is an ass, whether or not I know him personally." She placed a kiss on the blonde girl's forehead before turning back to Fiyero. "This all developed when we were discussing that ass," she continued. "Glinda was telling me about how she's never been in love, about how he's never even made love to her..."
"That's not true," Glinda interrupted again.
"Well, not like you and I, at least," Elphaba told Fiyero. "Not if he doesn't care a bit about giving her pleasure and not if they sleep in separate bedrooms."
"/Elphie/!" Glinda's face was growing redder by the moment as her secrets were revealed.
"I won't tell anyone, Glinda, if that's what you're worried about," Fiyero said. "I won't judge you, either. You told me yourself that Sir Chuffrey wasn't very good in bed, as I recall."
Glinda gave him a grateful smile, leaning her head gently against Elphaba's shoulder. Fiyero watched them move closer to each other, watched the tender look that Elphaba gave Glinda. "If you'd like me to leave," he started, leaving his words hanging in the air.
"I think we should at least finish," Elphaba replied. "Glinda hasn't gotten a good climax yet."
"Elphie!" Glinda didn't sound angry anymore, instead ending her lover's nickname in giggles.
"She's never had one before," Elphaba continued, smiling as she teased. "I think it's only fair."
"You don't have to leave if you don't want," Glinda told Fiyero. "I'm the one who is intruding here."
"I'll let you girls finish up," he replied, heading for the door. "You haven't seen each other in years, after all."
"I love you, my dear," Elphaba called as she removed Glinda's sheet. "Don't ever doubt that."

Elphaba smiled as she heard Glinda cry out louder than ever before, as she felt the fingers in her hair tighten until it almost hurt. She could feel the muscles in Glinda's body moving, shaking her with joy like she'd never felt. "Do I make you happy, my sweet?" The blonde girl couldn't seem to find words to answer, instead burying her face in Elphaba's shoulder and letting out one last moan.
Love. Yes, of course she loved Fiyero, but there was something so different about this... Maybe Elphaba was just happy to be seeing her friend after all these years, or maybe it was that she had been waiting for years to lie in Glinda's arms. Either way, there was something especially magical about this moment. Elphaba rolled over, lying beside Glinda on the bed, and gently stroked the girl's ringlets.
"Elphie," Glinda murmured, her cheeks glowing pink. Just hearing her old nickname, seeing the happiness in Glinda's eyes... Elphaba offered another kiss, shivering with happiness.
If only they could stay like this forever, but it was too dangerous. Elphaba couldn't help seeing the darkness gradually fading through the skylight. "It's almost morning, my sweet."
"Let the morning come," Glinda replied, reaching out to stroke the side of Elphaba's face.
"If you aren't back at home before everyone awakes," Elphaba told her, beginning to get out of bed, "they'll all assume that you've been out with some man."
"They don't matter to me." Glinda got up anyway, retrieving her dress and pulling it on. A chill ran up her spine as Elphaba began to button it for her, and she smiled contentedly up at the sky beyond the cracked windowpanes. "You're the only one who ever mattered."
Elphaba kissed the back of her neck before gently brushing the golden curls back into place with her nimble green fingers. "I'll walk you home. It's too late for you to be out on your own."
The walk across the Emerald City was unreal, with Glinda resting her head on Elphaba's shoulder and both smiling as if nothing in the world could possibly be anything less than perfect. Elphaba couldn't help thinking that she felt like she was floating through the streets on a bubble, and she played with Glinda's curls lovingly. She couldn't remember the last time when she had felt so carefree... It must have been when she and Glinda were together last, when they were at Shiz together, before they left on that life-changing journey to the Ozian capital.
They reached Sir Chuffrey's house only too soon, and Elphaba kissed Glinda goodbye on the doorstep. She couldn't bear to tell Glinda that they might never meet again; the big campaign was drawing near, however, and she had already warned Fiyero to stay at home during the Lurlinemas festivities. "What are you doing on Lurlinemas Eve?" she asked as Glinda retreated into the doorway. As wonderful as it was to live in the moment, Elphaba couldn't help suddenly remembering the need for caution, the need for fear.
"I'm going to the theater," Glinda replied, too intoxicated with love to note the sudden look of terror in Elphaba's eyes. "I forget which one... There's some big holiday show, I believe. Unfortunately, I've heard that Horrible Morrible's supposed to be there, but I'll do my best to avoid her."
"No," Elphaba said as calmly as she could bear. "Don't go." She knew that her attempts to convince Fiyero to stay home weren't going to work, but she couldn't bear to let Glinda be in danger, too. "You're going to tell Lord Chuffrey that you suddenly feel ill, and you're going to stay home. I'll come by to visit you. All of your servants will be out celebrating, right? We'll spend the night together."
Glinda smiled blissfully. "That will be wonderful, Elphie."
Elphaba couldn't quite smile back, feeling the lie that she had just spoken hang heavily in the air. Glinda couldn't know that she might never see her again... If the campaign was a success, there would be plenty of time for the two of them to be together. Elphaba kissed Glinda once more, turning away sadly as the blonde girl waltzed upstairs. She hurried down the street, trying to hold back the vile tears that threatened to hurt her once again.
She allowed herself to look back once, to take a good look at the luxurious house where Glinda was living so unhappily. The girl was standing by the window, smiling out at her, and Elphaba waved as cheerily as she could. She spoke inaudibly to her beautiful lover and the cool morning air. "Hold out, my sweet."
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