FicWad

I….
“Hayley! What are you doing? I…you…” Gerard’s eyes were wide with confusion, shock and elements of total fear. He was afraid of me. I shook like a leaf, not entirely sure if what I’d just done was reality or not. “I…”I couldn’t form the words I needed, “…I’m sorry…I…” I didn’t know what to do. The sun sank low over the trees, eventually disappearing altogether. We stood on the corner, neither of us daring to move. Gerard continued to stare at me, his entire body still. Then, slowly, he reached up to his face with one hand, covering his mouth. He rubbed his lips with his fingers, roughly at first, then when what had just happened there sank in his fingers gently traced them. He took his hand away and looked at it. I stood dumbly on the pavement. I felt stupid. What was I thinking? In one stupid act, one stupid, stupid kiss and now I’d ruined everything we had together. “I’m sorry!” I yelled, squeezing my eyes tightly shut, but it didn’t stop the tears tumbling down. I tore my leaded feet from the concrete and began to run, run away from Mr Way even though what I wanted to do most was run to him and to wrap my arms around his skinny waist and for him to hold me. I wanted him to tell me everything would be okay. But he wouldn’t. I couldn’t even hear his footsteps behind me. I don’t even think he’d moved from his position.
I was a terrible runner, and had to stop soon to catch my breath. I sank down on some nearby grass and sobbed. I must have been making the most awful noise, but I didn’t even care. I’d kissed someone for the first time in my life, someone I loved and cared for. He fascinated me, his every move, the way he spoke, his art. Everything. And it had taken so much for me to admit it to myself. I sniffed, rubbing my hand on the soft, green spikes in hope of some comfort. I loved Gerard, I knew that now, but it could never happen. I was his pupil. He was my teacher. Maybe not even that anymore, now he’d avoid me as much as he possibly could. I was so fucking stupid. I had art the day after tomorrow. Oh shit. What was I going to do? What about my work? He’d never help me again, I’d fail my art exam and….
“Hayley.”
I jumped about a foot in the air, frantically wiping the tears from my face and scrambled up, all set to run again but a hand was placed firmly on my shoulder. I knew I couldn’t fight it and sat down again. “Hayley.” He repeated. The way he said my name sent so many buzzes up my spine I could hardly breathe. His voice didn’t sound the way I’d expected it to. I heard no anger, only confusion. Even so, I refused to look at him, fixing my sore, achy eyes on a patch of dirt on my left side. I was still sobbing, my chest heaving up and down, desperate for oxygen. I was still shaking like crazy and I had to tuck my hands in my blazer pockets to hide them. The hand on my shoulder was still there, reassuring yet it proved the grim reality of the situation. I had just kissed my art teacher.
“I don’t want to hear what you’re going to say.” I stuttered, sniffing hard. “I don’t want to hear it.” I continued to glare at the dirt patch and Gerard continued to say nothing. Just as I thought I was going to end up sitting here forever with his hand on my shoulder like some odd statue, I heard a rustling noise, he was sitting down beside me. The hand disappeared from my shoulder. “I don’t want to hear it.” I repeated. There was a long silence, so long I wasn’t even sure if he was totally aware that I was sat there or if he’d heard me. Suddenly, out of nowhere an arm went around me, then another. I tensed at the sudden touch, breaking my staring contest with the dirt to turn to my right. I was greeted with a kiss. Just a soft and gentle one, but nonetheless a kiss. It took me by surprise and before I knew it, it was over. Big hazel eyes looked back at me, party obscured by messy black hair. The tiniest of tiny smiles appeared on the corners of his mouth. “I think it’s time you went home now.” He said in a low voice, so low I could barely hear him, or maybe it was simply what had happened that had caused me to be momentarily deaf. Nevertheless, I somehow managed to stand upright on my heavy, shaking legs and began to walk home. I think he was still sat there when I was almost halfway down the street.