FicWad

hello! I apologise, it's very late, and the reason is that I don't even know if anyone is reading this or would like me to carry on or whatever. If you're there just review please?! Or this'll be te last chapter of this. You don't have to say much, just keyboard smash or something just let me know you're there!
Well I hope you like it..




GERARD.S POV

I just needed to clear my head. I need to run away from myself, leave everything and live in nothingness. Anything would be better than what I'm feeling right now. But I just can't get out of my own head, can't escape the thoughts flooding and bubbling inside my skull until its just about ready to crack and explode.

I was laying down on the frozen grass of the golf course next to our school, eyes closed, just trying to forget. Sit in peace for a while. Footsteps crunched on the frost behind my head and I sighed heavily. My 2 minuets of alone time are over.

"Gerard?" someone whispered. I recognised the voice as Franks but stayed silent. If I ignored him he might get the hint and leave me alone with my dangerous thoughts. A few more silent seconds passed, "Gerard I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." he stated sternly, louder than before. I could practically hear the roll of his eyes in the his speech.
I continued to ignore him and he sighed frustratedly, getting nowhere. His footsteps edged closer, and I think I heard him sit down by my side.
His voice was closer now "Please Gerard...what did I do..?" he sounded uncertain and by accident, reflex, I opened my eyes, looking up at his face. Franks eyes where averted towards the muddy grass, picking at it with his delicate fingers I want to hold so much. He hasn't noticed me looking yet, and I decided to speak up, he really hasn't done anything and I don't want him to feel bad for nothing.

"Frank you haven’t done anything" I spoke the truth in a hushed tone, looking into his luscious caramel brown orbs when they flicked up at the sound of my tired voice. I didn't know what to tell him, he deserved an answer to the way I had been treating him today, and why i was gone yesterday, but I didn't want to tell him the truth. Frank sighed yet again and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"so why the fuck have you been blanking me all day? I must've done something..?" he said, shaking his head angrily and lying down on his stomach next to me. He must be fucking cold, he hasn't even got a hoodie on.

"You look freezing, there’s a spare hoodie in my bag if you want it?" I offered, trying to get off the subject of me.  Frank nodded slowly and I sat up, stretching over to the small, lifeless tree where my plain black bag was sat. I unzipped it and grabbed the thick black hoodie, chucking it at Frank. It landed over his head and shoulders, smothering his angelic face in darkness and he just sat there, unmoving, making me giggle my high pitched hiccup of a laugh. "well if you don't want it..." I said and grabbed it back off him, grinning when he screamed

"Noo! It's freezing!" He said loudly, grabbing for the hoodie I was holing behind my back and looking genuinely sad, his bottom lip pouting out slightly. I stuck my tongue out, lighting up a little.

"Fine!" I gave in to his cuteness, throwing it at him again, this time he caught it. He sat up on his knees and threaded his arms through the holes, getting drowned in the massive hoodie, making him look even skinnier than he already is. He looked so cute and innocent, snuggled up in the warmth of my hoodie. I didn't realise i was staring until he hit me lightly on the arm of my faded red zip up jumper. "hu?" I said stupidly, causing him to raise an eyebrow at me.

"I said, so are you gonna tell me what's wrong or not?" he Asked, raising both eyebrows this time. I’ll just tell him part of it, he's my friend, he might be able to help..

"it's just.." I sighed, it's hard admitting this simple, tiny thing that he can probably help with. I felt Franks cold hand rest on mine, and he smiled in encouragement. A few seconds past of me opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish and I felt the soft pad of his thumb stroking the back of my pale hand, comforting me slightly. "I-I’m alone. All the time. now Mikes is gone.." I said, it still felt like yesterday that Mikey was at home with me, and we'd have a horror movie marathon. Frank finally spoke up,

"Gerard it’s been four months.." he said, eyebrows furrowing and inching closer to me.

"you think I don't know that? Do you expect me to be over it by now?" I was losing my temper, my voice escalating more and more. "I live in a massive empty house, Frank. Alone." I stated, taking my hand away from his. Leaving a hot spot where his touch lingered on mine.

"I know I-" I cut him off, getting slightly carried away.

"when my parents left I thought it would be okay, with just me and Mikey. And I was doing fine! I was looking after him great. But now he doesn't even want to know me. He didn't even sit with us at lunch today." I said, shaking my head. I can't believe he didn't sit with us, his own brother and his best friend.

"You know I can come and keep you company anytime? I've never been to your house and my parents don't really given a shit." he said. This made me smile, he’s actually willing to spend time with me When it's not compulsory. But I can't get to close to him, like I said I'll only get let down and hurt like every other time. Although Frank is my friend, I should be able to trust him, surely. Whatever, i cant be bothered to fight with my head and heart anymore.

"Well, what about going to mine now?" I suggested, looking up shyly into Franks eyes. He’s grinning. A lot, the smile reaching his gorgeous eyes greatly, bringing out the glint in them. Um I'm taking that as a yes..

"totally, let's go" he replied standing up. My hoodie reaching past his skinny knees. I stood Up after him, grabbing my bag and realising he didn't have his.

"Where's you’re bag?" I asked . He turned to face me, and ran off back in the direction of the school.

"oh. Shit, yeah one sec"  frank replied and disappeared into the bushes. A few seconds later he reappeared, hooking the bag onto his small frame. "ready?" he asked with a grin.

"yep."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20 minuets later we arrived at my house. Sharing my iPod all the way there, Misfits blaring out of the headphones.

I fished out my front door keys and unlocked it, opening the door for Frank and letting him step over the threshold first. A look of shock crossed over his pale face

"Woah. This house is massive." he stated, walking into the big entrance hall. Most of the house was open-planish. The great staircase winding down the centre as you walk in and to the left is the living room. No door, just a big archway connecting it to the wooden floored hall. Opposite the living room there was a long dining room. Dark woods covered the wall and there was a long rectangular table and thrones as chairs to match. To the right of that room was the kitchen with an average sized table and all the normal kitcheny things in it, the door/archway coming out almost behind the stairs."Where’s your room?" he asked me, and I wandered past the living room and to a  small wooden door. I motioned for him to open it and so he did, his eyebrows furrowing. "Wait your bedroom is the basement?" Frank asked and I nodded.

"Yep, always has been" I smiled sheepishly. It was a bit weird I know. But it was cosy, and not to big like the rest of the house. I led him Down The enclosed, dark staircase and to the door that entered into my bedroom.

The room was dark, only one minuscule window above my desk let in natural light and there wasn't much of that today thanks to the bipolar weather. As you open the door my big double bed is centred against the wall, facing the opposite one with my desk pushed up to it. To the left of the door is a wall wardrobe, you wouldn't even guess it was one. And on the opposite side stood an overflowing bookshelf and an open door to my ensuite bathroom.

I flicked on the light and walked past a frozen frank to sit on my bed, waiting for his reaction.

FRANKS POV
the walls where completely covered in posters, the blood red painted wall peeking through the gaps in between and showing a bit of colour. I loved it, it was cosy but spacious at the same time, ten times bigger than my room .

I didn't notice Gerard had veered past me and onto the black bed until he mumbled something not quite to me.

"Shit it’s so untidy...' He said, looking around the floor. Truth be told, it was. But I'm not a neat freak so it doesn't bother me.

’oh, it doesn't matter’ I replied, still casting my attention to the poster adorned walls while stepping closer to Gerard. ’I fucking love this room.’ I stated smiling down at him, it was so him. Only Gerard could have his bedroom in the basement and not seem weird.

’well I'm glad you like it. Would you like a drink?’ he asked, gesturing to the mini fridge I hadn't even noticed under his desk. Wow what the fuck this guy is just too cool.

’oh my god yes please wow you have a fridge that is shittastic man.’ I blurted out, running over to it and yanking it open. There wasn't that much in there, a few cans of drink, some water and chocolate bars. I took the water. ’you want anything?’ i called over my shoulder from where I was crouched.

’uh no thanks I'm good’ Gerard replied, laying back on his black bed. I went round the other side and sat beside him, still assessing he band posters blue tacked messily onto the walls. After a minuet I felt his eyes burning into the side of my head, making me uncomfortable. I fidgeted slightly.

’what’re you looking at?’ I snapped bluntly, looking at him through the corner of my eye. His eyes flicked to the ceiling above him in embarrassment. Shit.
The atmosphere was now slightly awkward and I regretted snapping. ’sorry Gee...’

’it's fine.I just...thank you.’ he spoke, sitting up and wrapping his arms around his skinny knees and resting his chin on them. Our faces where closer now and i realised he had tears glistening in his eyes as he stared up at me. I pulled an expression that I'm sure looked like confusion.

’for what?’ I asked kinda shocked, I hadn't done anything for him yet.

’Just, being there. No one else is..’ he replies, looking down sheepishly.  Oh he doesn't have to thank me that's what friends are for, he can trust me all the time and he needs to know this.

’Gerard that's what I'm here for. I'm your friend and you can trust me with anything okay?’ I told him, bringing my hand up to stroke back a bit of his raven black hair that fell loose around his beautifully pale face. A smile ghosted onto his pink lips. It was so soft in my touch, like silk under my fingertips and I loved the feel of it. Before thinking about it, I ripped my hand away. What was I doing? That was a little close for comfort. But I was completely comfortable. This makes no sense. Gerard's face  fell when I pulled my hand away, his eyes becoming dull at the lack of contact and the small smile fading from his rosy chapped lips. Looking away from him, I took a deep breath to gather myself before looking back at him, his eyes big and glistening in the dim light.

'uh, yeah that's what I mean. thank you for being there and stuff. It means a lot Frankie, honestly.' I smiled at that. I actually mean something other than a piece of shit to someone. Gerard smiled back at me. I never noticed before now, but he had a really gorgeous smile. All toothy with his freakishly small teeth and his eyes crinkled at the corners, although the actual smile never reached his eyes. They never showed anything except sadness and emptiness. Well, I intend to change that.

lemme know guys! Pleaseeee?! Thak you if you're silently following this but please make yourself known!!

-Lizzie xo
P.S I updated this on my iPhone so sorry for spelling mistakes or whatnot :L