Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Mi Vida Loca (or not.)
hello people! so firstly thank you if you are actually reading, but I don't know if you actually are or if you just happened to stumble upon this and think it should just die. So please review, just tell me whether to pack it in or keep going cause idk what you want!
wellll, enjoy!
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GERARD'S POV
School came around all to quickly. Although of course I was looking forward to seeing Mikey and Frank, it's so painful to know I can only see them 6 hours a day. It's not even for that long, I hardly have any lessons with Mikes, whereas I have basically all of them with Frank. It kills but it's like I'm addicted to the pain. The pain of knowing he’ll never be mine and we’ll never be more than just casual friends. Mostly because I wont let it happen. I'll only get hurt yet again. He’ll be no different to the other people who love hurting me, seeing me squirm in pain.
I walked through the bleak grey main hallway and turned right opposite pupil reception into one of the science corridors, opening the door to Sc7, my tutor room.
I was late. Again. And everyone's heads turned towards me, including Mr Govan who gave a the death glare. I Made a bee line to the back of the class room, where Frank was sat grinning madly at me, completely oblivious of the gnawing pain I was in. Pupils sneered insults at me as I stalked passed them head bowed, ignoring the stabbing hurt the words caused. They where careful not to be caught by Mr Govan, the assistant head (also our tutor)
I perched down in the conjoined seat next to Frank and didn’t say a word. Staring, eyes glazed, directly in front of me,waiting for him to speak first.
"Morning Gerard!" he whispered with a grin, turning in his stool to face me. Aw, He’s expecting a full on conversation, ha good luck Frankie boy.
"Hi, Frank." I monotonously replied, glancing slightly in his direction. His grin disappeared in a flash, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion of my lack of conversation this morning. Every other day I had been just fine, unless I had not had my daily dose of caffeine that morning. But it was different today, and I think he noticed.
"so uh, where where you yesterday?" he questioned me, looking kinda puzzled. Well, obviously I couldn't tell the truth. ’Well, Frank i’m completely head over heels for you and Mikey is fucking gone.’ I do not think that’ll go down well, so I settled for the simple lie.
"Ill." I spoke again, harshly, not taking my eyes from Mr Govan at the front of the room. I didn't want to talk. I think he got the message because at that point, he turned back to the front of the class and waited for the register to be called as of the norm without talking to me again. But he kept looking at me. Trying to get inside my head, I can tell. Trying to figure me out. Why I was so out of character to him. Just drop it Frank, please. I kept pleading to myself as he stared. He was crumbling the wall I had built to keep prying eyes and nosey sods out of my brain, but this was Frank. And although I have only known him a couple of months, he knows me the most. Just by simply working it out. No one had ever been so determined in working out how my mind works before Frank. Although it was nice for someone to know me so well, I like my privacy, and it's shattering around me. Someday he’ll find out my biggest secret. The one I lothe. The one I cannot believe he hasn't got yet, it's painfully obvious to everyone except him.
FRANK’S POV.
It was lunch time, I was sat opposite Gerard on our small rectangular table right at the back of the lunch hall. I could swear his expression hasn’t changed since he walked through the doors during tutor this morning. Also, he had barely spared a glance in my direction all fucking day. But, what did I do? Obviously it wasn't his lack of caffeine. If it was, he would be just grouchy and not completely ignoring me like I committed the worst crime imaginable, like he doesn't even want to know me anymore. It wasn't like I was an asshole to him or anything. I wasn't with the popular kids, then again I wasn't against them either. They never done anything bad to me. You could say I was easy to get along with, and I am, I just get along with everyone and I like it that way. But of course the people I have become the closest to are Gerard and Mikey, (with the exception of my girlfriend) brothers that are separated by social services. It's disgusting, Mikey is Gerard’s own baby brother and he wouldn't let anything happen to him. He's way to much of a Caring, lovely person. So selfless and he needs to think of himself more and not just other people in his life.
"Frank, are you okay?" a sweet sing song voice spoke, jolting me out of my thoughts, putting her soft touch apon my shoulder. Jamie. She’s my girlfriend and I Love her dearly. We met on my second week in this shitty town, she was new too. We just got talking and yeah we clicked straight away. But I can't help feeling really bad, because whenever she tries to go further than kissing or touching I stop her. I just don't feel comfortable. She feels rejected whenever I do that obviously, but she's so sweet about it, comforts me and tells me she’ll wait. But then i feel kinda pressured, i mean its been less than 2 months! Man, I sound like the girl in the relationship. I turned from staring at Gerard and looked into her big, bright green full-of-life eyes contrasting carefully with heavy black eyeshadow.
"yeah. Perfectly fine." I tried -and failed- to not speak through gritted teeth and redirected the question. "How about you Gerard, are you okay?" I said, turning to face him again. He looked up through his hair and looked frighteningly straight into my eyes. His irises looked so emotionless, empty and masked as they burned holes in mine. They where hiding something, something big and it was just about breaking him up inside. I thought he knew he could trust me, tell me anything.
"Frank. Drop it, I'm fine." he stated loudly and harshly, and stood quickly, pulling his black bag onto his skinny shoulder and walking briskly out of the foodhall, people staring as he did so. Ha, there's no fucking way I'm dropping it. If there's something wrong then I want to help, help him feel better, to not feel as alone as he looks and to gain all his trust. I really wanted to follow him, but he’s sick of me already. Who wouldn't be. I'm just a clingy guy who's never had real friends before. But I need his trust. Because I want him to be okay with what I want to talk to him about, I want him to not judge me or leave me. I just want trust. I just want a real friend I can trust.
"i’m Sorry Jamie I-" I grabbed my bag on the back of my chair and Jamie interrupted me.
"I understand Frank, lemme know how he is" she said with a faint smile. I smiled back gratefully and kissed her soft, pale cheek before standing and running out of the food hall after Gerard, I knew where he would be.
I jogged out of the glass doors outside of the drama room connected to the canteen and alongside the dull grey classroom huts, the icy wind slapping me right in the face, shocking me slightly. Gerard must be freezing. I came to the outside MFL entrance and walked around the corner, onto the year 7 field were I sprinted across the open space to the back and onto a small patch of grass, lower than the rest of the field and lined with tall, green trees, connected to the rest of the school field by a short grassy bank. I expected to see gerard here, and was momentarily confused.
But then i remembered, he would sometimes go further than this, to really get away from everything, to not be bothered by the stress of school. So I didn't stop there. I dropped my bag to the grass and ran across the small stretch of frosted green blades to the small hole in the trees, dropping to my knees and crawling through the sharp frozen mud underneath me. Branches and bushes trying to tear me back from Gerard, to take him away. On the other side of the little path is a massive golf course and when I reached it I stood again, searching in the fog for Gerard. I spotted his dark figure lying flat on his back, next to a small naked blossom tree not far into the field. his expression content with relaxation although the bags under his tired eyes and limp, lifeless and too-skinny body said the complete opposite. I sighed, my breath curling around my face in this icy cold weather.
The silence was eerie, and there was a deafening sense of nothingness in the air. It gave the atmosphere of a graveyard, I would feel disrespectful if I where to disrupt the roaring silence. Gerard hadn't heard me yet, so I took a sharp, deep breath and quietly, slowly stalked up behind him.
*
Yep so hi! uh was it okay idk? please rate or review, it kinda feels like I'm writing to noone ahah but yeah pleaasee I just want to know if it's any good and if anyone is actually going to follow this story at all.. anyway it's late and i forgot it;s my turn to wash up so gooodnight!
- Lizzie xo
wellll, enjoy!
*
GERARD'S POV
School came around all to quickly. Although of course I was looking forward to seeing Mikey and Frank, it's so painful to know I can only see them 6 hours a day. It's not even for that long, I hardly have any lessons with Mikes, whereas I have basically all of them with Frank. It kills but it's like I'm addicted to the pain. The pain of knowing he’ll never be mine and we’ll never be more than just casual friends. Mostly because I wont let it happen. I'll only get hurt yet again. He’ll be no different to the other people who love hurting me, seeing me squirm in pain.
I walked through the bleak grey main hallway and turned right opposite pupil reception into one of the science corridors, opening the door to Sc7, my tutor room.
I was late. Again. And everyone's heads turned towards me, including Mr Govan who gave a the death glare. I Made a bee line to the back of the class room, where Frank was sat grinning madly at me, completely oblivious of the gnawing pain I was in. Pupils sneered insults at me as I stalked passed them head bowed, ignoring the stabbing hurt the words caused. They where careful not to be caught by Mr Govan, the assistant head (also our tutor)
I perched down in the conjoined seat next to Frank and didn’t say a word. Staring, eyes glazed, directly in front of me,waiting for him to speak first.
"Morning Gerard!" he whispered with a grin, turning in his stool to face me. Aw, He’s expecting a full on conversation, ha good luck Frankie boy.
"Hi, Frank." I monotonously replied, glancing slightly in his direction. His grin disappeared in a flash, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion of my lack of conversation this morning. Every other day I had been just fine, unless I had not had my daily dose of caffeine that morning. But it was different today, and I think he noticed.
"so uh, where where you yesterday?" he questioned me, looking kinda puzzled. Well, obviously I couldn't tell the truth. ’Well, Frank i’m completely head over heels for you and Mikey is fucking gone.’ I do not think that’ll go down well, so I settled for the simple lie.
"Ill." I spoke again, harshly, not taking my eyes from Mr Govan at the front of the room. I didn't want to talk. I think he got the message because at that point, he turned back to the front of the class and waited for the register to be called as of the norm without talking to me again. But he kept looking at me. Trying to get inside my head, I can tell. Trying to figure me out. Why I was so out of character to him. Just drop it Frank, please. I kept pleading to myself as he stared. He was crumbling the wall I had built to keep prying eyes and nosey sods out of my brain, but this was Frank. And although I have only known him a couple of months, he knows me the most. Just by simply working it out. No one had ever been so determined in working out how my mind works before Frank. Although it was nice for someone to know me so well, I like my privacy, and it's shattering around me. Someday he’ll find out my biggest secret. The one I lothe. The one I cannot believe he hasn't got yet, it's painfully obvious to everyone except him.
FRANK’S POV.
It was lunch time, I was sat opposite Gerard on our small rectangular table right at the back of the lunch hall. I could swear his expression hasn’t changed since he walked through the doors during tutor this morning. Also, he had barely spared a glance in my direction all fucking day. But, what did I do? Obviously it wasn't his lack of caffeine. If it was, he would be just grouchy and not completely ignoring me like I committed the worst crime imaginable, like he doesn't even want to know me anymore. It wasn't like I was an asshole to him or anything. I wasn't with the popular kids, then again I wasn't against them either. They never done anything bad to me. You could say I was easy to get along with, and I am, I just get along with everyone and I like it that way. But of course the people I have become the closest to are Gerard and Mikey, (with the exception of my girlfriend) brothers that are separated by social services. It's disgusting, Mikey is Gerard’s own baby brother and he wouldn't let anything happen to him. He's way to much of a Caring, lovely person. So selfless and he needs to think of himself more and not just other people in his life.
"Frank, are you okay?" a sweet sing song voice spoke, jolting me out of my thoughts, putting her soft touch apon my shoulder. Jamie. She’s my girlfriend and I Love her dearly. We met on my second week in this shitty town, she was new too. We just got talking and yeah we clicked straight away. But I can't help feeling really bad, because whenever she tries to go further than kissing or touching I stop her. I just don't feel comfortable. She feels rejected whenever I do that obviously, but she's so sweet about it, comforts me and tells me she’ll wait. But then i feel kinda pressured, i mean its been less than 2 months! Man, I sound like the girl in the relationship. I turned from staring at Gerard and looked into her big, bright green full-of-life eyes contrasting carefully with heavy black eyeshadow.
"yeah. Perfectly fine." I tried -and failed- to not speak through gritted teeth and redirected the question. "How about you Gerard, are you okay?" I said, turning to face him again. He looked up through his hair and looked frighteningly straight into my eyes. His irises looked so emotionless, empty and masked as they burned holes in mine. They where hiding something, something big and it was just about breaking him up inside. I thought he knew he could trust me, tell me anything.
"Frank. Drop it, I'm fine." he stated loudly and harshly, and stood quickly, pulling his black bag onto his skinny shoulder and walking briskly out of the foodhall, people staring as he did so. Ha, there's no fucking way I'm dropping it. If there's something wrong then I want to help, help him feel better, to not feel as alone as he looks and to gain all his trust. I really wanted to follow him, but he’s sick of me already. Who wouldn't be. I'm just a clingy guy who's never had real friends before. But I need his trust. Because I want him to be okay with what I want to talk to him about, I want him to not judge me or leave me. I just want trust. I just want a real friend I can trust.
"i’m Sorry Jamie I-" I grabbed my bag on the back of my chair and Jamie interrupted me.
"I understand Frank, lemme know how he is" she said with a faint smile. I smiled back gratefully and kissed her soft, pale cheek before standing and running out of the food hall after Gerard, I knew where he would be.
I jogged out of the glass doors outside of the drama room connected to the canteen and alongside the dull grey classroom huts, the icy wind slapping me right in the face, shocking me slightly. Gerard must be freezing. I came to the outside MFL entrance and walked around the corner, onto the year 7 field were I sprinted across the open space to the back and onto a small patch of grass, lower than the rest of the field and lined with tall, green trees, connected to the rest of the school field by a short grassy bank. I expected to see gerard here, and was momentarily confused.
But then i remembered, he would sometimes go further than this, to really get away from everything, to not be bothered by the stress of school. So I didn't stop there. I dropped my bag to the grass and ran across the small stretch of frosted green blades to the small hole in the trees, dropping to my knees and crawling through the sharp frozen mud underneath me. Branches and bushes trying to tear me back from Gerard, to take him away. On the other side of the little path is a massive golf course and when I reached it I stood again, searching in the fog for Gerard. I spotted his dark figure lying flat on his back, next to a small naked blossom tree not far into the field. his expression content with relaxation although the bags under his tired eyes and limp, lifeless and too-skinny body said the complete opposite. I sighed, my breath curling around my face in this icy cold weather.
The silence was eerie, and there was a deafening sense of nothingness in the air. It gave the atmosphere of a graveyard, I would feel disrespectful if I where to disrupt the roaring silence. Gerard hadn't heard me yet, so I took a sharp, deep breath and quietly, slowly stalked up behind him.
*
Yep so hi! uh was it okay idk? please rate or review, it kinda feels like I'm writing to noone ahah but yeah pleaasee I just want to know if it's any good and if anyone is actually going to follow this story at all.. anyway it's late and i forgot it;s my turn to wash up so gooodnight!
- Lizzie xo
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