FicWad

[A/N] - I'm at home ill. I'm bored and really lonely. So probably gonna update a lot today? I dunno :L

It was weird. I was starting to miss being invisible. At least when I was invisible I still had Zia and nobody really had a problem with me. Now I was the most hated person in school.

'Well...' I thought 'Perhaps it's time I got some advice on whatever the hell it is they've been blabbering on about.'

So after school I went to a Catholic Church. It was pretty much empty except for one guy near the front who was praying by himself but I noticed the Confessional Booth and went towards it. I took a deep breath then stepped inside. "Forgive me, father, for I have sinner." I began "I think that's how you're meant to start these things, I'm just going off what I've seen in movies. Am I meant to tell you how long it's been since my last confession? But this is my first confession since I'm not Catholic. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do except sit here in this booth and tell you what I've done wrong." I laughed slightly "Where do I even start?"

I thought for a second before beginning "I've been pretending to be a... What's the Catholic way of saying this? A harlot? Yeah, sure, a harlot. It's not like I've been actually doing all the things people think I've been doing though. Then again, I'm not denying them either. So I was just wondering, is that wrong? There's a lot of shi- crap going down at my school which may or may not be indirectly because of this masquerade." There was silence for a moment before I continued "I'm lying. I've hurt so many people. I thought, in my own perverse way, that I could help it. I mean, in my defense, I am merely an adolescent. I should never have been propositioned in the way I was propositioned by an adult. But then again, I should never have consented. It was just that a lot of were people were asking me to do things and I thought it was okay because it wasn't real. That it was make-believe and no one was getting hurt but... A lot of people hate me now." My eyes filled with tears, a couple finding their way down my cheeks "I kind of hate me too."

There was a long silence. I was a little confused "I could be wrong, but aren't you supposed to say something now?" I asked the person on the other side of the screen "Or ask me questions? Tell me to say 'Hail Marys'? Hello?"

I opened the screen and found that I had just confessed all my secrets to nobody. Frustrated, I got to my feet, threw open the curtain and stomped out of the church.

Luckily, I lived in a town with many different places of worship or religion or whatever. So I walked to the next nearest one. I walked in and found a woman who seemed to work there "Umm hello. I was wondering if their was a minister around."

"Pastor McGreevey is on vacation this week. But our associate pastor is in. Would you like to speak to him?"

The enthusiasm in her voice made me smile. Even though I was in the depths of despair, I couldn't help but mock her enthusiasm for my own amusement "Actually, that would be fantastic!"

"Can I tell him what this is regarding?"

"Absolutely. I'm looking for a church to join and I thought he might be able to sell me on this fine establishment!"

She beamed at me, and joyfully grabbed her telephone. I waited there a minute before she said into the phone "Don, there's a young man here who would like to speak to you about joining." There was a murmur on the end of the line then the receptionist hung up "You can go right in." She told me, pointing towards an office.

"If everyone here is as friendly as you, I think we might be in business." I replied with a quick wink before strolling into the office.

Sitting behind a large desk was an unattractive, gangly, borderline creepy man who appeared to be in his fortys. He gestured to the chair opposite the desk "Hello there. My name's Don." He extended his hand and I shook it politely "How can I help you today?"

"I'm new to the area." I lied "Looking for a church - hopefully something with a strong fellowship, a firm foot in the soil of divinity and was wondering what your church's stance on lying and adultery was?"

He seemed taken aback by my question "Well. It's not a good thing."

"Oh, I agree. Wholeheartedly. But tell me. Assuming there is a hell-"

"Sir, this church recognises the existence of hell."

I nodded slowly, getting a little worried "Right. Okay. Let's say there is a hell. Which is worse - Lying or adultery? Is lying about adultery just like a double whammy?"

"I'm sorry, Sir, what did you say your name was?"

I opened my mouth, not sure whether I was about to tell him Gerard or a fake name when I noticed a framed photo on his desk. A family photo, all three of them smiling happily at the camera. Don with his arm round his wife who had a smile the size of Montana and standing with them was their lovely daughter- Sile Ryte.

My cheeks flushed bright red and I got to my feet quickly "You know what. I think I'm just going to go and check out Judaism." I told him as I backed away towards the office door "The Jews and I have a lot in common. Fashion-wise. And stuff. So, thank you for your time." I made it to the door and bolted out of the church.

Yes. I had unwittingly sought advice from the father of the leader of my lynch mob. Who else can say that's happened to them?

But could I truly be mad at Sile? Dude, if I were a girl and some bimbo had given my boyfriend an STD, I'd have swung but I'd have balled my fist. Speaking of which, with all the mythical play I've been getting, it's a wonder that I still hadn't actually been asked out on a real date. Plenty of people were clamouring to say they'd had sex with me but no one was putting the real moves on me. Until finally...



I sat in the canteen eating lunch by myself. Nearly every other table was full but people were still trying to cram more people onto them. All because nobody wanted to sit with me. Across the room I saw Zia sitting with a group of girls. Everytime I looked up at her, Zia glared over at me.

Just when I was about to stop eating and go to the library or something, a girl sat next to me. Her name was Kirsty and I recognised her because of a conversation I'd once had with Zia when we were thirteen.

"Gee, if I told you something, would you promise not to tell?" Zia asked as we lay back against the grass staring up at the blue sky.

"I promise."

"It's just... You know that I always flirt with guys and stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"It... Well... It's sort of an act."

"What do you mean?"

"Please don't tell anyone but..." Zia took a deep breath "I'm a lesbian."

I propped myself up onto my elbows and looked down at her "How do you know?"

"There's this girl, Kirsty. She's in our class. And well, I've had a crush on her for a long time." By this point Zia was bright red and not looking me in the eyes "It doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Of course not."

Zia still had a crush on her to this day but she was way too afraid to make a move. However whenever she saw a guy flirting with Kirsty, she'd always end up breaking something in frustration.

Back to what I was saying. Kirsty sat next to me and grinned "Hey Gerard." I smiled sweetly at her "I was wondering if you were busy tonight. Maybe wanna go out or something?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, suspicious "What did you have in mind?"

"We could go out and have dinner together maybe?"

I smiled "Yeah, that'd be really cool."

"Great." Kirsty smiled at me "I'll see you tonight." Then she got up and left.