FicWad

Opening the door to reveal a face with curiosity and happiness, my cousins eyes twinkled as he picked me up and hugged me. " So your coming to live with me! Franko! " " Yeah I guess so, can you put me down? "
He dropped me, laughing he asked " Ready to get the fuck outta Jersey!? " he picked up my guitar case and suitcase. He put them in the backseat of his truck. He pointed to the door and walked to the drivers side.
I locked the door and starred at the house. So much memories, so much times spent. Childhood...

I buckled my seatbelt and kicked back. Turning up the music, we sped outta Jersey. Not knowing when I would see this place again!


~~~~

I called Frank's house and he wasn't answering the phone now, i called his cellphone and he wasn't picking up or replying to my texts. How can he seriously be that mad at me. It wasn't my fault, he should of told me he didn't wanna go. It's not a big deal! Is it?
I punched my pillow over and over again. 
Tears were streaming down, I need to see him.

I got up and walked out the door. Out of the house, I made my familiar path to the Iero house. Not hesistating at one step. 

I knocked on the door a few times. It was empty, no sound, no movement. I threw pebbles at Frank's window. Still nothing. I sat on the steps. Where can he be?
He's definately a hot head, if he can still be mad at me for this. It's not like i'm running away, I mean I didn't say he couldn't come. He was welcomed too! I asked him before anyone else! He's myfirst choice.

~~ 

The long drive back to New York was gonna take a while. Gerard was freaking out calling and texting me, I shut off my phone. I was planning on changing my number. I couldn't call him. The sound of his sweet voice would make me turn back around. I needed to let him go, I needed him to live his own life. His art career, his dreams and goals. Everything he can do without me. 

I still felt a guilt and absence washing over me. But, I ignored the feeling. I sat back and fell asleep. Soon i'll be in my own home. Far away from everything and everyone. 

There is and always will be a Gerard Way in everything I do. One day he will thank me. But, I wouldn't have to be there when he does. He will see what I had to force myself to relalize. We couldn't be together. It was almost forbidden. We would fuck up our lives together way more than us being apart. As soon as he knows i'm gone, he would be dancing around in circles!

~ ;; I'll never leave you alone. Always keep you close, blood down my arms and face. I always seem to bleed for you, this is more than a dream. ;;

I squirmed in my seat uncomfortably. I hit my head on the side, and sat straight up. It was breaking dawn when I looked around. " We're almost home Frankie " Ben said as he turned on the heat. There was soft music playing with a guitar solo. I felt more relaxed now that I was awake.
Very unaware of what my dream was I didn't even want to think about it. I starred out the window at dim lights and open space. We weren't in New York yet but we were close. 

The closer we got, the more of the anxious feeling got worse. I felt slightly miserable and excited all at once. 
A low voice kept playing in my head, It replayed in my head over and over. It sounded like Gerard's jersey accent. The more I tried to ignore it, it got louder in my head. 
Like an unwanted memory, sending shivers down your back. 

; When you go would you have the guts to say
" I don't love you like I loved you yesterday. "

Chest pains and heartbreak,
I wish I had a bulletproof heart.