Categories > Games > Final Fantasy X > Walk With Me Again
Realization
1 reviewA brief look into Auron's reason of rejecting the hand of the priest's daughter.
1Insightful
"What is that?"
"What is what?" Auron glared annoyingly at the blitzballer who had been tugging onto his shoulder armor and almost pulling his red robe off of him.
Jecht flipped his robe and got hold of the dangling accessory attached to the armor that he swore he had never seen before they went to Besaid. He pulled it up roughly along with the red robe and almost shoved it into his face.
"This little dangling beady thing here, " Jecht grinned mischievously.
"It was a gift," Auron turned away, determined to ignore him before he got his irritating naughty gears on to frustrate him again.
"Oh! A gift! This is obviously made by a woman. Aww geez Auron, I didn't know you had it in you!" he was laughing so loud, enjoying the tease on the swordsman so much that he almost rolled off a slippery edge of the mountain. Auron started considering if he should just stick his huge sword down the laughing clown's throat to shut him up.
But he decided otherwise, despite Jecht being irritating, he was a good fighter and had been a great assistance to Braska. He shrugged and got his hands off his robe as he pulled it closer to himself to keep warm on the cold climate of Mt. Gagazet.
"That is none of your business."
Jecht laughed and placed his arm onto the young swordsman's shoulder again, leaning in close and spoke in his rare serious tone, "Try your best to stay alive, Auron. For whoever has given you that."
/Stay alive/.
The day he decided to become Braska's guardian, he knew it would be a journey of no return, yet there were times when he couldn't help but thought that perhaps one of them might make it back in one piece. He remembered that night back at Besaid before Braska turned in, he sounded as if he was speaking unconsciously.
If Yuna could live here, won't it be wonderful?
Auron knew very well that that was an impossible dream. Braska would never make it back alive, unless he quit the pilgrimage that was unfortunately, something he had abandoned. He had long given his life to his summoner, ready to die at anytime and any place, for the sake of Spira and his Summoner. But Braska's words had somehow shaken his determination a little.
Yuna would be alone in this world when they were all gone.
He knew very well he was being naïve, but at that very moment he wished he could have assured Braska that he would make it back and take Yuna to Besaid. He had signaled him to go away before he could tell him, and Auron spent most of his nights outside thinking.
He wanted to stay alive even after the end of the pilgrimage, but the more he thought, the more he realized it was as impossible as hoping Braska would survive the Final Summoning. No guardians had made it back alive.
The squeeze on his shoulder by Jecht pulled him back from his thoughts, he sighed and patted the hand, "Keep that to yourself, for your wife and kid."
Jecht chuckled and shook his head as he walked past Auron dragging his huge bulky sword on the snow ground forming a trail.
Auron looked back at the route they walked, and realized the falling snow had covered up all their tracks. Their footprints and trails left by the dragging of the swords had disappeared slowly, just like their existence in this world, Every steps they walked, every moment they got closer to Zanarkand, their lives faded bit by bit.
The Summoners and guardians who had walked the same road had left nothing behind but short period of calm and broken memories.
He felt his footsteps getting heavier with every passing hours and days, his heart almost heavy as his boots that had gained a couple of weight from the wet snow. Millions of thoughts began to start nagging in his head with every steps closer to Zanarkand.
Is there no other way?
~ * ~
Truth was always cruel.
For the first time, Jecht's expression had went completely blank. Auron could only imagine what was going through his mind when he saw him standing up on a high ground watching the city dead for a thousand years.
He knew Jecht had somehow realized that he would never be able to go back to his Zanarkand, it showed on his face during the nights when he thought nobody was looking. Auron didn't know what to say, he was never good when it comes to comforting people.
Just like that night when she was there, waiting for him near the entrance of the Bevelle temple. She was looking down at the well-polished marble floor that showed her beautiful reflection clearly, her fingers rubbing each other uneasily. She lifted her attention away from the floor slowly when she heard his footsteps echoing in the hollow hall.
"Auron," her voice was soft and light, yet it seemed to carry the weight of overshadowing the echoes of his footsteps. Auron couldn't tell exactly what kind of expression she was wearing; she had turned her back against the moon to face him, and perhaps the shadow over her face was helpful to her and she knew it.
"You asked for me?"
"You knew very well why I did."
/Of course/.
"I am sorry," he bent over slightly as he apologized, his eyes not looking into hers.
"Why did you turn it down?"
He was expecting maybe from the priest himself, but he certainly wasn't expecting she would be here to ask this question. He had thought up of his answer to the priest but now he wasn't sure if that was what she wanted to hear. He went silent as his mind searched for the best words and best combinations to place everything together.
"Why can't you try to love me? Why can't you let me love you?"
He felt his head hit by something hard when he absorbed every single words she had said, he looked at her carefully, trying to make out her expression right now.
It was supposed to be a politically arranged marriage, love didn't exist and they never did in this type of relationship. They had promised him a leap in his career if he accepted it, but he never did. Kinoc had questioned his decision, and he told him he didn't want to take that easy route.
But he didn't tell him he suspected that maybe she was the one who had brought up the issue to her father. He knew how she looked at him, and he had tried to run away.
She was a normal girl who deserved a man who would love her and cherish her, not someone like himself who wasn't confident in being a good husband and even a father. Especially when you don't even remember what was a family anymore.
"I'm sorry."
And those were the only words he could come out with.
The moonlight shone gently down on her slender form, casting a long shadow in front of her that barely reached his feet. Just like the distance between them.
/I can't love you. I don't know how to/.
That was the truth, and it would be too cruel to her. He remembered her backing away slowly as he looked at her retreating shadow. The distance between them was something he could never fill, the marriage would only ruin her.
She turned and walked down the long stairs of the temple quietly with only the sound of her heels filling in the poignant silence.
"What is what?" Auron glared annoyingly at the blitzballer who had been tugging onto his shoulder armor and almost pulling his red robe off of him.
Jecht flipped his robe and got hold of the dangling accessory attached to the armor that he swore he had never seen before they went to Besaid. He pulled it up roughly along with the red robe and almost shoved it into his face.
"This little dangling beady thing here, " Jecht grinned mischievously.
"It was a gift," Auron turned away, determined to ignore him before he got his irritating naughty gears on to frustrate him again.
"Oh! A gift! This is obviously made by a woman. Aww geez Auron, I didn't know you had it in you!" he was laughing so loud, enjoying the tease on the swordsman so much that he almost rolled off a slippery edge of the mountain. Auron started considering if he should just stick his huge sword down the laughing clown's throat to shut him up.
But he decided otherwise, despite Jecht being irritating, he was a good fighter and had been a great assistance to Braska. He shrugged and got his hands off his robe as he pulled it closer to himself to keep warm on the cold climate of Mt. Gagazet.
"That is none of your business."
Jecht laughed and placed his arm onto the young swordsman's shoulder again, leaning in close and spoke in his rare serious tone, "Try your best to stay alive, Auron. For whoever has given you that."
/Stay alive/.
The day he decided to become Braska's guardian, he knew it would be a journey of no return, yet there were times when he couldn't help but thought that perhaps one of them might make it back in one piece. He remembered that night back at Besaid before Braska turned in, he sounded as if he was speaking unconsciously.
If Yuna could live here, won't it be wonderful?
Auron knew very well that that was an impossible dream. Braska would never make it back alive, unless he quit the pilgrimage that was unfortunately, something he had abandoned. He had long given his life to his summoner, ready to die at anytime and any place, for the sake of Spira and his Summoner. But Braska's words had somehow shaken his determination a little.
Yuna would be alone in this world when they were all gone.
He knew very well he was being naïve, but at that very moment he wished he could have assured Braska that he would make it back and take Yuna to Besaid. He had signaled him to go away before he could tell him, and Auron spent most of his nights outside thinking.
He wanted to stay alive even after the end of the pilgrimage, but the more he thought, the more he realized it was as impossible as hoping Braska would survive the Final Summoning. No guardians had made it back alive.
The squeeze on his shoulder by Jecht pulled him back from his thoughts, he sighed and patted the hand, "Keep that to yourself, for your wife and kid."
Jecht chuckled and shook his head as he walked past Auron dragging his huge bulky sword on the snow ground forming a trail.
Auron looked back at the route they walked, and realized the falling snow had covered up all their tracks. Their footprints and trails left by the dragging of the swords had disappeared slowly, just like their existence in this world, Every steps they walked, every moment they got closer to Zanarkand, their lives faded bit by bit.
The Summoners and guardians who had walked the same road had left nothing behind but short period of calm and broken memories.
He felt his footsteps getting heavier with every passing hours and days, his heart almost heavy as his boots that had gained a couple of weight from the wet snow. Millions of thoughts began to start nagging in his head with every steps closer to Zanarkand.
Is there no other way?
~ * ~
Truth was always cruel.
For the first time, Jecht's expression had went completely blank. Auron could only imagine what was going through his mind when he saw him standing up on a high ground watching the city dead for a thousand years.
He knew Jecht had somehow realized that he would never be able to go back to his Zanarkand, it showed on his face during the nights when he thought nobody was looking. Auron didn't know what to say, he was never good when it comes to comforting people.
Just like that night when she was there, waiting for him near the entrance of the Bevelle temple. She was looking down at the well-polished marble floor that showed her beautiful reflection clearly, her fingers rubbing each other uneasily. She lifted her attention away from the floor slowly when she heard his footsteps echoing in the hollow hall.
"Auron," her voice was soft and light, yet it seemed to carry the weight of overshadowing the echoes of his footsteps. Auron couldn't tell exactly what kind of expression she was wearing; she had turned her back against the moon to face him, and perhaps the shadow over her face was helpful to her and she knew it.
"You asked for me?"
"You knew very well why I did."
/Of course/.
"I am sorry," he bent over slightly as he apologized, his eyes not looking into hers.
"Why did you turn it down?"
He was expecting maybe from the priest himself, but he certainly wasn't expecting she would be here to ask this question. He had thought up of his answer to the priest but now he wasn't sure if that was what she wanted to hear. He went silent as his mind searched for the best words and best combinations to place everything together.
"Why can't you try to love me? Why can't you let me love you?"
He felt his head hit by something hard when he absorbed every single words she had said, he looked at her carefully, trying to make out her expression right now.
It was supposed to be a politically arranged marriage, love didn't exist and they never did in this type of relationship. They had promised him a leap in his career if he accepted it, but he never did. Kinoc had questioned his decision, and he told him he didn't want to take that easy route.
But he didn't tell him he suspected that maybe she was the one who had brought up the issue to her father. He knew how she looked at him, and he had tried to run away.
She was a normal girl who deserved a man who would love her and cherish her, not someone like himself who wasn't confident in being a good husband and even a father. Especially when you don't even remember what was a family anymore.
"I'm sorry."
And those were the only words he could come out with.
The moonlight shone gently down on her slender form, casting a long shadow in front of her that barely reached his feet. Just like the distance between them.
/I can't love you. I don't know how to/.
That was the truth, and it would be too cruel to her. He remembered her backing away slowly as he looked at her retreating shadow. The distance between them was something he could never fill, the marriage would only ruin her.
She turned and walked down the long stairs of the temple quietly with only the sound of her heels filling in the poignant silence.
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