Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Re-run

Chapter 14-16: OotP 4: Prank War!

by selenepotter 2 reviews

someone goes back in time to change to the timeline in Luna Loovegood's body.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Action/Adventure, Erotica, Humor - Characters: Blaise Zabini, Crabbe, Draco, Dumbledore, Goyle, Harry, Lucius, Luna, Pansy, Snape - Warnings: [!!!] [?] [R] [V] [Y] - Published: 2006-07-06 - Updated: 2006-07-06 - 4961 words

Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling

Chapter 14: OotP 9: April Fool's Day



[You should be ashamed of your self, young lady!] Thought Selena.

{Yeah, you're scaring Hermione} thought old Luna.

(I'm trying to teach her a lesson) thought young Luna.

thought the sword.

(Still, the way she's reacting, I think she wants me to carry out my threat,) thought young Luna. (Maybe I should. It would be loads of fun.)

{You'd better not!} Thought old Luna. {Harry's having a hard enough time dealing with being offered to the Slytherin girls!}

When the tugging sensation on her navel ceased, Hermione found herself in a room whose walls were covered floor to ceiling with books on shelves. The bed Luna had been sitting on had been replaced with a comfortable looking armchair. There was another, just like it, turned at a ninety-degree angle to the right. Luna was staring off into space.

"Uh, Luna? Luna? LUNA!"

"Huh? Oh sorry Hermione. Please, be seated," said Luna as she gestured to the other chair.

When Hermione had stood up from her kneeling position and seated herself in the chair, Luna stood up, waved her wand, and a dark blue robe appeared on her. She sat back down, turned to Hermione and said:

"Now that my Slytherin side has explained to you the gravity of your situation, my Ravenclaw side can ask you for what I really want."

"Where are we?" asked Hermione.

"Ravenclaw Tower," said Luna as she crossed her legs with a tinkling sound.

Hermione glanced down and noticed that Luna was still wearing the pumps and the chain mail hose. Hermione felt her nether regions tingle as she wondered if Luna was still wearing that corset under her robe.

"I've got you over a barrel," said Luna. "You promised me anything I want and I could ask anything of you. What I want is for you to quit the Junior Aurors."

"Why?" asked Hermione.

"Your friendship is very important to Harry," explained Luna. "He hasn't said anything to me, but as long as you are working with Scrimgeour, he can't trust you completely and neither can I."

"But I want to have a career with the Ministry some day," protested Hermione.

"Hermione, think about it. When the truth about the return of Voldemort comes out, do you really think that the people you are currying favor with will still be in power?" asked Luna.

"I never thought about it that way before," said Hermione. "You're right. Okay I'll do it. As soon as we get back to Hogwarts, I'll tell Professor Scrimgeour that I'm out."

"Good," said Luna. "Now, I can tell you want to know about these books"

"I've never heard of most them. Do you think I could absorb some of them?" asked Hermione with a hungry look in her eye.

"Sure, you can absorb them all," said Luna. "You know this is just a small portion of the books on this floor alone. And Ravenclaw Tower has many floors filled with books. Next summer we were planning to invite members of the D.A. over to absorb them."

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"Class, today we have special visitor," said the Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Stewart. "Professor Scrimgeour has come in his capacity as Hogwarts High Inquisitor to examine what we do in this class. So, yesterday we had had just started our study of atomic power. Mrs. Potter, what is used to fuel a nuclear reactor?"

"Uranium, sir," said Luna.

"Usually that is the case. But sometimes plutonium is used. This is an element that does not occur in nature. The Muggles make it in their nuclear reactors," said Professor Stewart. "Now then, Mister Smith, what is plutonium more commonly used for by the Muggles?"

And so the class continued with Scrimgeour busily scribbling away on his clipboard in the back of the room.

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When Luna awoke, she was alone in Harry's bed.

"Harry?" asked Luna.

"Just a minute," called Harry from the other side of the room that housed the 5th year Gryffindor boys. Presently, the bed curtains opened and Harry came in carrying a tray with breakfast on it. "Happy Birthday and April fool's day!" said Harry.

"Now they can't tell you: You can't get away with this, she's only fourteen!" said Luna.

"No, now they'll say: You can't get away with this she's only fifteen!" said Harry.

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"Rufus I must protest this action in the strongest possible terms!" said Dumbledore. "Hogwarts needs its Potions Master! You can't just go firing my teachers, willy-nilly!"

"I'm afraid I can. Ministry order #34," said Scrimgeour. "Besides the man is a menace. He blatantly favors his own house at the expense of others. He deliberately frightens many of the kids. He's a Death Eater! What other reason to get rid of him do I need?"

"Severus was cleared of all charges and granted immunity after he defected to our side!" said Dumbledore. "Indeed, the information that he brought us as a spy within the ranks of the Death Eaters saved countless lives! And as for Ministry order #34, if the Ministry didn't waste all its time trying interfere with the running of this school you might find yourself having time to prepare for the war!"

"THERE IS NO WAR!" roared Scrimgeour. "And if you didn't waste all of your time fighting the Ministry, you might have time to do some educating!"

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When Harry and his friends entered the Potions lab, they found a familiar face waiting for them behind Snape's desk.

"Good morning class," said Lucius Malfoy.

"What happened to Professor Snape?" asked Hermione.

"Professor Snape had to resign suddenly," said Professor Malfoy. "The Ministry assigned me to take his place for the rest of term."

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It was lunchtime.

Luna, Amanda and Stan were eating with the rest of the Slytherins, when suddenly Stan dropped his spoon. He inhaled sharply as he clutched his belly and fell backwards off the bench, spilling his soup in the process. Then he began screaming at the top of his lungs. The longer he did so, the higher pitched his scream became. Then, still screaming, he grabbed his groin. No matter what they tried, Luna and Amanda were unable to console him. But when he started growing breasts, they realized what had happened. Someone had slipped a sex change potion into his soup!

Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling

Chapter 15: OotP 10: Prank War

(Young Luna's thoughts)

{Old Luna's thoughts}

[Selena, Luna's mom's thoughts]


After a couple of hours, Madame Pomfrey finally let Luna and Amanda see their friend.

"So what is the verdict?" asked Amanda.

"Well there's good news and bad news," replied Stan in a higher pitched voice than was usual for him. The good news is that I have experienced the worse pain a human can endure."

"That's GOOD news?" asked Luna.

"Well, yeah. The memory of the male to female sex change potion will help me resist the Cruciatus curse when we go up against the Death Eaters," said Stan.

"If that's the good side, what's the down side?" asked Luna.

"Poppy says that if I take the sex change potion again in anything less than a month, I'll go insane," said Stan. "For the next month I'm stuck as a girl. And if I get pregnant I'll be stuck this way forever!"

"I do not know about that. Your being female does have its compensations," said Amanda with a hungry look in her eye.

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Once Luna and her friends figured out who was responsible, Stan's transformation became the opening salvo in a prank war between the Deputy Death Eaters and the Slytherin D.A. But to call it a prank war may be misleading. The "pranks" the Slytherins played on each other were much more vicious, life altering and in some cases, life threatening, than anything the Weasley twins would ever dream of perpetrating. Here are but a few examples:

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Once morning Blaise Zabini was strolling into the great hall for breakfast when he suddenly stopped in mid-stride with a yelp. His screams continued until he'd thrown his robe up over his head and ripped of his briefs. Instead of laughing at the ridiculous position Blaise now found himself in, everyone in the room gasped in horror at the bloody mess that had been covered by his shorts. His underwear had taken huge bites out of him!

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One day Luna noticed that Amanda had been pulling at her clothes as if they didn't fit right all day.

"Professor Malfoy, may I go to the bathroom?" asked Amanda.

"Very well, but if you can't wait five minutes for class to get out, you may want to take a trip to the infirmary afterward," said Lucius Malfoy.

When Potions class was over, Luna went to the restroom to check on her friend. She found her passed out on the bathroom floor. Amanda's robe was ripped open completely. Beneath it, she wore her dominatrix outfit, which consisted of a black and gray leather bustier with a matching sway skirt that went down to about mid-thigh. About an inch below her skirt were matching, thigh high boots. That inch of exposed flesh was covered in scratch marks where Amanda had tried to claw her outfit off of her, as was the top of her bustier. Now that she was looking, Luna realized that she could see Amanda's clothes shrinking before her eyes. The skirt had shrunk so that it pulled her legs tightly together. Luna heard a "pop!" as another one of Amanda's ribs broke beneath the crushing pressure of the contracting leather!

A quick, flesh-cutting hex removed the offending garments from Amanda's body. After that, Luna picked up her friend and carried her to the infirmary.

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One day, during lunch, Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson came over to the Gryffindor table.

"You might as well give us the Quiddich cup now, you'll never win with Weasley on your team," drawled Draco.

"Sod off Malfoy!" yelled Ron.

"I was just giving you a chance to bow out gracefully," said Draco. "But if you want to humiliate yourselves, be my guest."

The Slytherins returned to their table. A few minutes later, Pansy got up and walked out of the hall with an exaggerated sway to her hips.

"Where are you going?" asked Ron.

"I have to go polish my wand," said Harry in a dreamy voice.

Once he got into the hall, he saw Pansy casually walking away. Harry followed her. When she came to the infamous broom closet, she turned back and held the door for him.

"Oh Pansy, you don't know how long I've dreamed of this!" said Harry and Pansy used a vanishing charm to make their clothes disappear. She then cast another charm that Harry had never seen before.

"What's that?" asked Harry.

"Oh it's nothing," said Pansy. "Just a little conception charm."

"Sounds good to me," said Harry as he picked her up and slid into her.

Suddenly the door of the closet was torn from its hinges! Standing in the doorway was the glaring form of Luna Potter. She grabbed Pansy by the throat and roughly threw her against the opposite wall of the hallway.

"Leave my husband out of this, Pansy!" growled Luna.

Luna waved her wand and a ring appeared in Harry's nose with a chain leading off from it.

"OW! OW!" yelled Harry as she led him by the nose.

"Oh, shut up!" said Luna. "We're going to get an antidote for that love potion whether you like it or not! And just be glad I'm not leading you around by a Prince Albert!"

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Emily Le Strange was climbing the stairs to the Divination tower when she spotted Pansy Parkinson coming the other way. As they passed, Emily soundlessly cast a jelly-legs jinx on Pansy causing her to fall the rest of the way down the steps, breaking thirteen bones on the way down.

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When Emily Le Strange awoke, she was in the Slytherin Playroom, naked and suspended by chains that hung down from the ceiling. All forty members of the Deputy Death Eaters were gathered around her. Draco Malfoy, in particular, had his wand pointed at her.

"You've had your fun," drawled Draco. "But now that your parents have broken out of Azkaban, the word is out. You are to quit hanging out with Looney and her friends and take your rightful place in the Deputy Death Eaters."

"Or else you'll gang rape me?" asked Emily in a defiant voice.

"Oh, we're going to do that anyway," replied Draco. "But after we've had our way with you, you will join us or you will die!"

Luna awoke with a start! She'd had another of her prophetic dreams.

"What's wrong?" asked Harry sleepily.

"Something's about to happen in Slytherin," replied Luna. "This is a Slytherins only matter. Don't interfere."

Then, Luna shadow walked out of Harry's bed and into the Slytherin dorm. She took a look around. Emily's bed was empty as were the beds of most of the upperclassmen. She crept into the common room and peered in the doorway of the Playroom. As in her dream, Emily was suspended from the ceiling in the middle of a throng of Deputy Death Eaters. She couldn't hear what was being said because the playroom was magically soundproof.

Luna crept back into the dorm, conjured a robe for herself and cast a sonorous charm.


All of the Slytherin members of the D.A. were quickly dressed and prepared for battle.

"Okay, those of you who know how to shadow walk, we're coming in through the North wall," began Luna. "The rest of you will have to sneak in through the door way. Hurry! They're about to rape Emily as we speak!"

And so, the long-term members of the D.A. entered the playroom through the shadows cast by various bondage furniture on the North wall. The rest of them tried sneaking in through the doorway that was in the center of that very same wall. Nearly half of them had made it in when they were discovered.

"Look out!" said Millicent Bulstrode.

Instantly both sides had their wands drawn and had them pointed each other in a Slytherin standoff.

"Let her go!" demanded Luna.

Draco's response was to shift his wand so that, instead of pointing at Luna, he was now pointing at Emily.

"I may not be able to hurt you," said Draco. "But I can hurt her. Crucio!"

Suddenly both sides were firing curses at each other!

Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling

Chapter 16: OotP 11: Rumble

(Young Luna's thoughts)

{Old Luna's thoughts}

[Selena, Luna's mom's thoughts]


Soundlessly, Luna cast a stunner at Pansy Parkinson that caught her square in the chest.

Amanda flicked her wand in a silent cutting curse that cut the wand arm of a sixth year Death Eater.

Stan cast a shield charm to protect himself, Luna and Amanda.

"Petrificus Totalus!" shouted Vincent Crabbe as he put a first year student in a full body bind.

"Stupefy!" shouted Gregory Goyle as his stunner bounced off the shield that Stan had cast.

By now, curses and hexes were flying all over the room.

Soundlessly, Luna cast a stunner at Anna Dolohov, and put her out of the fight.

Amanda silently shielded herself and Stan

Stan put Tobias Rookwood in a full body bind with a flick of his wand.

Draco cast a stunner at Luna, which bounced off Amanda's shield.

"Serpensortia!" shouted Crabbe as he launched a snake at Luella Martin.

"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Gregory Goyle as he struck down Rhiane Stormosi, a seventh year student.

"Delibro!" shouted Luna as she retaliated against Goyle. Instantly, his skin started peeling off. After that, he collapsed as his muscles peeled away like an onion. This made his internal organs plop out on the floor. They then peeled away. Next, his bones disintegrated. By now, all that was left was a brain and nervous system. The nerves started peeling away, starting at the periphery and working their way inwards until all that was left was a brain. The layers of the brain peeled away from outside in. The last part of the brain to go was the pain center. In total, this process took thirty seconds to complete. Goyle screamed for as long as he still had the requisite organs to do so.

Amanda silently shielded herself and Stan

"Castroare!" yelled Stan as he cast a castration curse on Draco.

"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Draco as he killed Deana Tyler.

"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Crabbe as he cast a killing curse at Luna. She held her sword in front of her and it was absorbed harmlessly.

"Internus Accendo!" shouted Luna as a beam from her wand struck Crabbe. This set him on fire so that he burned from the inside out.

"Conseco!" yelled Amanda as she cast a dismembering curse at Draco, who lost his wand arm.

And so it went, as the Slytherins cast curses and hexes back and forth, they fell on both sides. Suddenly, their new Head of House, Professor Vector entered the room. She had been alerted by Harry Potter that there was trouble in the Slytherin Dungeon.

"What in the Hell is going on he-?" said Professor Vector as she was struck down by a stray killing curse.

The fight continued until almost all of the Deputy Death Eaters were either dead or disabled. Then, Stan and Amanda both collapsed as they were hit from behind by stunners. Luna turned and looked. Every single one of the Junior Aurors had come into the Dungeon, led by Scrimgeour, himself. When Luna realized that this fight was over, she absorbed her sword, lay down and pretended to be stunned. This didn't stop several people from stunning her again anyway.

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When Luna awoke, she was chained to a chair in the great hall. She looked around. All of the surviving members of Slytherin were in the same predicament.

"You can't do this!" shouted Dumbledore. "You haven't the right!"

"Look it up," replied Scrimgeour. "Ministry directive #66. Wake them up!"

The Aurors, who were standing interspersed with the Slytherins, started casting enervation charms on the students.

"I have never in my life heard of such a disgraceful series of actions by Hogwarts students," began Scrimgeour. "Some of you have even cast unforgivables. And some of you have cast spells that should be unforgivable and will be as soon as the Ministry determines just what these new spells of yours are. We have examined your wands in order to determine who has cast what curses.

Draco Malfoy, you are hereby convicted of casting the Cruciatus curse. You are sentenced to life in Azkaban with out the possibility of parole. The following people are convicted of casting the Death curse and will receive the same sentence: Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, and Millicent Bulstrode."

As he said each student's name, he snapped their wands in their faces.

"Aurors, take them away."

"In addition, the following people are from Death Eater families and shall be expelled: Pansy Parkinson, Anna Dolohov, Tobias Rookwood and Emily Le Strange."

He snapped their wands in their faces too.

"As for the rest of you, if there is just one more such incident, Slytherin house will be banned from Hogwarts."

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Emily Le Strange was crying as she packed her possessions up to leave.

"Don't worry," said Luna. "This summer I'll help you make a new wand. In the meantime, you can stay at Ravenclaw Tower. There are enough books for you to spend a lifetime learning and as soon as we've made you a wand, you can absorb knowledge from them directly."

Th-thanks Luna," sobbed Emily.

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The next day, all through potions class, Professor Malfoy was glaring at Luna. Finally, he walked up to her table and said:

"Mrs. Potter, you're stirring that wrong. Detention, in my office, tonight."

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"Are you sure you do not want us to come with you?" asked Amanda.

"Don't worry," said Luna as she pulled the potion flasks out of her pocket briefly. "I can handle a lone Death Eater like him."

Before she walked into the room, Luna cast a silencing charm on the room so that no sound would be able to escape. Then, she walked in without knocking.

"Ah! Mrs. Potter, be seated," said Malfoy with a malevolent leer. "As you are no doubt aware, I am not pleased about the fate that has befallen my son. Still, we could avoid a blood feud if you were willing to compensate me for my loss."

Lucius put his hand on Luna's knee. Luna smiled in anticipation. Lucius took this as a sign of assent and started slowly sliding his hand up her thigh, not realizing just what it was that she was anticipating.

Quick as a flash, she had knocked his feet out from under him, thrown him onto his back and leapt onto his chest, pinning his shoulders down. Before he could stop her, she had pried his mouth open, pulled the cork off of a flask with her teeth and poured the contents down his throat!

He screamed in agony as the potion transformed him into a woman. When the change was complete, she leaned in, with her face a few inches from his own and said:

"If you ever, EVER, try anything like this with a student again or in any way hurt myself, my daughter, my friends or anyone else I care about, I will cut off your balls, transfigure them into golden snitches and release them OUTSIDE of the Quidditch pitch!"

Then she pried open his mouth again and poured another dose of the potion down his throat. As he moaned in ecstasy, Luna walked out of the office.

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"I know that there is not much left of the school year," began Madame Pomfrey. But Professor Malfoy has taken ill. I've had to send him to Saint Mungo's and will be taking over his classes for the rest of term. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you. Don't play with potions if you aren't sure of the effects."

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One day Luna and her friends where walking down the hall when they came upon Harry and his friends. Amanda and Stan were in the midst of a heated argument, as were Ron and Hermione.

"~What's their problem?~" hissed Harry.

"~They've fallen in love,~" hissed Luna. "~And now that Stan's month as a girl is almost over, he wants to continue their relationship after he returns to normal. Amanda doesn't want him to change. What about those two?~"

"~Ron and Hermione are in the middle of breaking up,~" hissed Harry. "~He complains that every time he tries to snog her, she starts crying over Viktor and she says that he is an insensitive clod.~"

"Will you two stop hissing!" said Ron. "You're giving me the creeps!"

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"Are you sure you want to do this with me?" asked Stan.

"I would not miss it for the world!" replied Amanda. "Open your mind. Let your shields drop completely. Let me all the way in, so that I can experience this with you."

Once he was sure that Amanda had made it into his mind deep enough, Stan drank the sex change potion. The transformation felt the opposite of his first one. In every way that becoming a woman had hurt, this now felt pleasurable. Amanda was able to feel everything he did, as they held each other close and the good sensations grew until they began having multiple orgasms. At first they felt feminine in nature. But as he gradually changed, they became more masculine until Stan was completely male and was experiencing them as a male. When she was sure that it was completely over, Amanda kissed Stan and said:

"I love you and I am really going to miss being your lover!"

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"Thank you for meeting with me," said Harry. "I'm going to announce the D.A. Squads soon and I wanted you to know that even though you are both good enough to make the A Squad, your skills at enchanting objects make you too valuable to risk on confrontations with the enemy. That's why I'm making you two the heads of D Squad."

"No problems mate!" said Fred and George.

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"I wanted you two to know that even though we've been best mates since first year, you didn't make onto the A Squad," said Harry.

"Why not?" asked Ron.

"I think it's because of all the time we spent on becoming animagi," said Hermione.

"She's probably right," said Harry. "I could have become an animagus myself or even developed my latent metamorphmagus abilities if I had put the time into it. But, instead, I put my time into learning spells that would be of use in combat. Ron, your chess mastery indicates that you have a good mind for tactics, so I'm putting you in charge of the General Staff."

"What will the General Staff do?" asked Ron.

"You'll spend your time dreaming up things that the Death Eaters might do and how to counter them. Right Harry?" said Hermione.

"Right," said Harry. "And you, Hermione, I want to be in charge of the research Squad."

"What will we be researching?" asked Hermione.

"You'll absorbing the knowledge from every book you can get your hands on and come up with a priority order for the rest of us to learn with."

"Oh! Thank you Harry!" squealed Hermione as she planted a kiss on Harry's lips.

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"Okay listen up people!" said Harry to the senior members of the D.A. He had gathered together in the Chamber of Secrets all of the people who had been in the D.A. at the beginning of the year. "Here are your Squad assignments. Squad A shall consist of Me, Luna, Neville, Ginny, Stan and Amanda. We will be the primary strike Squad. Squad B will be our sparring partners. They are: Susan, Ernie, Terry, Hannah, Alicia and Katie. Squad C will be in charge of Research. They are: Hermione, Padma, Lucy, Jeffrey, Andreus, and Emily, who's not here. Squad D will be in charge of Weapons development. They are: Fred, George, Colin, Denis and Phestus."

So it went, until all of them had been assigned to a squad. The next members, who were not present, would continue to work under their House Captains.

After the squads were assigned, Neville walked up to Luna and said:

"Do you remember how at the end of second year, I guess it was first year for you, you accidentally broke my wand?"

"Yes," said Luna, nervously.

"Well I now realize that it wasn't an accident," said Neville. "And I just wanted to thank you. I don't think I would be half the wizard I am today and I certainly wouldn't have made the A Squad if I were still using my father's old wand."

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O.W.L.'s proved to be surprisingly easy for the members of the D.A. During the History exam, Harry did feel Voldemort try to enter his mind. But by now, he was a good enough occlumens that he could easily keep the dark lord out of his mind.

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Deep in the heart of the Department of Mysteries, a pitched battle was taking place between the Death Eaters and the members of the Order of the Phoenix. In particular, Bellatrix Le Strange and Sirius Black were dueling savagely when Bellatrix let loose a killing curse that hit Sirius in the midsection! He toppled backward and fell through the veil!

Luna awoke with a start! She'd had another one of her prophetic dreams. She shook Harry awake and said:

"Code 6! You wake Neville. I'll get the others!"

Luna shadow walked back to the Slytherin dorm. Knowing how difficult it was to wake Amanda, Luna went to Stan's bunk and shook him.

"Code 6! You wake Amanda. I've got to go get Ginny."

"Huh? Okay!" said Stan as he leapt from the bed and sprang in to action.

Luna then Shadow walked to the fourth year girls' room of Gryffindor.

"Code 6 Ginny! Wake up!" said Luna as she shook her friend.

""All right! I'm up!" moaned Ginny as she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Uh Luna?" asked Ginny. "Are you aware that you're naked?"

"Oh. Sorry," apologized Luna. "Still, I'll bet that I'll be dressed and in the Chamber before you."

With that, Luna shadow walked back to the Slytherin dorm to get dressed.

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Once Squad A were all dressed and assembled in the Chamber of Secrets, Luna outlined the mission:

"The person we're going to rescue is Sirius Black, Harry's godfather," began Luna. "He is part of a team that Dumbledore has sent to stop Voldemort from obtaining the prophecy that we have repeatedly told Dumbledore not to bother guarding. They are currently fighting the Death Eaters, including Voldemort himself. Has everyone been to the Ministry before?"

I haven't," admitted Stan.

"Hold my hand and I'll guide you there," said Amanda.

And so they stepped into a shadow and began traveling to the Ministry of Magic.

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Authors Note: The members of the Squads are not set in stone. In particular, I'm considering replacing Ginny with Susan Bones after the battle in the Department of Mysteries. Let me know who you want to be on the squads.
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