FicWad

Wind rustled the leaves of the tall trees that towered over me, shaking loose seed pods that twirled like tiny helicopters as the descended toward the forest floor. On my two feet I stood, breathing in the smell of the outdoors, of the place I had grown up in. In this very spot, I had made forts and formed clubs as a kid. I had picnics with my first “boyfriend”. I went tenting with my best friends, had my first kissed, got completely wasted, smoked a fresh-packed bowl of weed, taught myself guitar, matured. And in this moment, all of these memories seemed to exist all at once as I continued slowly taking it all in; the leaves slowly decaying beneath my feet, the ferns covering parts of the ground, the thick trunks of pine trees, and the birds calling out to each other.
Summer had begun just two weeks ago, at the same time my mother broke news to me that she would be going away on some business opportunity across the ocean in the U.K. Me being eighteen, a legal adult, wasn’t enough to convince her that I would be able and trustworthy enough to be home alone for a summer. She had always been a tad bit overprotective, anyway. Through all of the arguing and begging, she did not budge one bit. I would be staying with my uncle in Connecticut for at least a month and a half.
Standing in my favorite spot, it felt like the end of the world. My last summer home, before real life began and I would probably not see 90% of my friends for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t even be in the place I’d grown up. It was honestly heartbreaking, I wanted to cry, but it felt like a waste of time. Tears wouldn’t change anything. It hadn’t then, and now wouldn’t be any different. With this thought, I turned and began walking in the direction back toward the road, then followed the road all the way back to my house.

__________________________

“So,” Kyle said in a sad, almost awkward way. “You’re leaving today.” Silence. I couldn’t look at him.
“Yea, crazy… thought we would be spending our whole summer together living it up and having crazy nights.” Finally I met my eyes with his. That familiar, soft shade of blue, brightened by the blond hair that fell over his forehead.
I sighed, “I guess you’ll have to make crazy memories for me,” I told him, forcing a smile. I hated that I would be leaving him. Things finally were beginning to feel how I had wanted… everything I had done in an effort to make him fall completely and hopelessly in love with me would be for nothing.
Kyle nodded slowly, “I’m going to miss my best friend,” he said, then made a frowny, almost puppy-like face.
I made the face back at him as a lump formed in my throat, “Stop, you’re going to make me cry.”
“No need to cry, you’ll see me again,” he said with a small smile.
He didn’t get it… he finally was treating me almost like a girlfriend. With the whole month and a half or more passing, who knew what would happen. We’d be back to square one.
Our relationship had been mostly an awkward, don’t-really-know-our-status friendship-slash-more-than-friends I’m-in-love-with-him-but-he-might-be-gay kind of thing. Weird. Definitely not ideal, but up until then, good enough for me. I had tortured myself endlessly for over a year trying to be just the girl for him; I became more artsy, dressed in sweaters and undresses, shopped at thrift stores, wore makeup, stopped straightening my hair, smoked cigarettes and weed, partied, lost weight. All that I had done had for the most part been in an unrewarded effort.
Don’t get me wrong; I did begin getting more attention. If not random affection from Kyle (cuddling, short kisses on the cheek or lips, telling me I look very pretty) it was attention from random guys at school. Mostly this one kid, Eric, who walked around campus with a fuck-you, careless attitude, sporting his guitar on a strap dangling behind him like a backpack. My friend Lily insisted he was the hottest of hot guys ever. His brown, long hair, bright blue eyes, six pack and smile like a seductive vampire was enough to make any lady go weak in the knees. I, on the other hand, did not, as Lily put it, “hit up my shot with a night of nasty hot sex” (she did not care that I was a virgin, she needed me to sleep with him so she could have all the details since she could not do it herself, due to her relationship with the guy she was going to marry someday). I could clearly see that he was a shallow man whore that didn’t really care about any of the girls that he messed with during that one night he spent in bed with them. Lily believed he was just too hot for that to matter.
Of course, my weight loss meant other shallow guys, maybe not as shallow and sex-crazed as Eric, began giving me attention. Not just guys, but girls. Everyone just became more friendly in general. I guess everyone is shallow in high school--- go from size 14 to size 4 and, voila!, friends appear.
“---and I’ll even give you your own little bowl so you can at least have something when you’re away that long,” Kyle was saying when I realized I had spaced out.
“Sweet,” I said, forcing another smile. I didn’t care about smoking weed at all. I cared about being with him, spending time with him, even if we were smoking weed. He passed me a small, yellow and green swirled glass bowl. “Thanks,” I flashed him that smile again.
“Of course, Bri,” He smiled, “Now come on, let’s go, don’t keep your mom waiting. Don’t want her to get all moody on you.”
I nodded, knowing just how my mother got time and time again when things were not going her way. I looked at him sitting there behind the steering wheel of his mom’s white SUV, wearing cutoff corduroy shorts, white vans, a baggy white tanktop, friendship bracelets, and a crooked cute smile. I took in every bit of him, from his little scar on his forehead down to the scrawniness of his frail body, so thin and boyish. He leaned over the center console for a hug. In his arms, I felt so small, and I was. I had become smaller than him, finally.
We pulled apart, smiling at each other one last time. The smell of freshly smoked cigarettes coated the air surrounding us. “See ya, Ky,” I said sadly. He puckered his lips, an invitation. As soon as the kiss began, it was over, like two little kids shy and afraid that cooties do exist.



__________________________________________________
Didn't really read this over or anything so don't mind any mistakes. Just a rough draft story to get out some creative energy and to vent some of my own experiences. Tell me what you think :) More updates to come if I get reviews