FicWad

"So what are we doing again? Besides looking like complete morons." Sid asked from his spot next to my golf bag. I sighed and Jim laughed behind his book. I glared at the hidden guitarist as I swung my club back and nailed another ball across the parking lot. Sid watched the ball fly from under Paul's Slayer sweatshirt. With a shiver, he shook his head. "I do not understand the point of golf."

I rolled my eyes and pulled a ball from the bucket. Dropping it to the roof, I glanced over at him. "You don't understand golf because you have the patience of a rock. If it doesn't hold your attention for more than three seconds, you hate it." I explained, practice swinging lightly. Lining up, I drove the ball deeper than the previous one. Smiling I glanced back at my DJ. He had a look of deep thought spread over his face. "What's going on inside your noggin, Sid?"

"You can't hold my attention for two seconds and I don't hate you. So I was silently proving your theory wrong." He smirked smugly. Jim chuckled again from the safety of his book. Sid laughed, head burying deeper into the material of the sweatshirt. "So therefore, I just hate golf. It's boring and too long. It needs more action. Like bombs in the sandpit! And alligators in the water."

I shot him a disbelieving look. "Really, Sid? Bombs and alligators? Are you trying to ruin the whole idea of the sport? It's not supposed to be action packed. It's supposed to be a relaxing game. A gentlemen's sport." I argued back. I leaned on my club slightly, hoping maybe to talk some sense into him. Though somehow I knew it as useless. Sid would never understand golf.

Sid scrunched up his face, green eyes thoughtful. I eased back, maybe there was hope. Then he shook his head and leaned against Jim's legs. "It sounds like a load of horse shit. Golf was invented by drunken Scottish guys and now it's played by a bunch a pussy's. Plain and simple. And it does not count as a sport. If it doesn't have an Olympic team, it's not a sport. That's like trying to say NASCAR is a sport."

I felt my inside start to burn at the comparison he had made. Jim was shaking now with silent laughter. He knew how much I liked golf. I had taken the tall man a few times with me. It was annoying to hear a child talk about golf in such a barbaric tone. It was unnerving. Jim uncovered his face, tears streaming down his cheeks. I growled and he laughed harder. "I think this is the funniest argument I've hears since you and Joey got into a fight over bubbles. I should record it. "

Sid grinned, cheeks red from the cold wind blowing. He knew he was getting under my skin. I could tell by his eyes. They looked positively devilish. It was pissing me off. Sid pursed his lips, silently egging me on. I growled and turned away. I was not going to win this battle. Sid was to head strong to convince. The minute my back was to him, he cheered and hollered. I sighed and stuffed my club back into my bag. I shook my head in disbelief, only few people understood golf like I did.

"Now mini golf is a sport." I heard the taunt in his words. They were fighting words. He was trying to see how far he could push me before I snapped. I was not going to let him win. No way in hell. I bent, grabbed a soda from the cooler by Jim's feet and sank down into the folding chair with a sigh of content. Sid realized that I wasn't going to argue back because he pouted and crossed his arms. "You're no fun. I should've stayed inside with the other guys."

Jim shook his head. Sid looked at him with a questioning expression. Sighing Jim lowered his book. "Manager's down there. They're having a meeting of sorts to figure some things out. It's probably better if you were out here with us." he explained softly. Sid leaned back, questions filling his eyes. I grabbed another soda and handed it to him, hoping it would distract the teen. He took a small sip and leveled his gaze with ours once more. Jim bit his lip. He hated being put in the center of attention. "It's nothing bad kid. Don't worry."

"Whenever someone says it's nothing, it usually turns into something. What's going on down there?" he asked, face and voice serious. Jim looked over at me quickly. I just stared back. The meeting we were trying to keep Sid out of was about him. We just didn't want him to know about it. Corey and Clown had felt it would be better if he didn't find out why either. Jim sighed, hand running through his brown hair. Sid looked away, eyes looking sad. "You guys are just looking out for me, hu?"

"In every way we can, kid. We're following orders here. And it's in your best interest." I admitted, watching him carefully. He nodded, keeping his face away from us. Jim frowned. He tucked his book at his side and leaned forward. Grabbing Sid by his hood, he yanked him up and backwards onto his lap. Sid protested slightly before laughing. I smirked, shaking my head. "Peaches can make anyone laugh. Just like Paulie."

Sid growled, crossing his arms and huffing out a puff of hot air. A smile slowly crept onto his face. Jim laughed, wrapping long arms over his hostage and burying his face into Sid's back. Sid smiled, resting into Jim's arms easily. I shook my head. "For a bad ass metal band, we are a bunch of pussies sometimes." I laughed. Sid nodded, tucking his nose down into Jim's scarf with a smirk.

Jim's eyes looked at me from over Sid's Mohawk. "This coming from the man who sleeps with an elephant." I felt my face redden quickly. Sid giggled, offering up his own taunts. I kicked out at him gently, hating how everyone knew that now. Jim wiggled his eyebrows at me, eyes dangerous. "Got nothing to say now, hu?"

"Blow me, stretch." I mumbled, swallowing down a gulp of soda with a frown. I tried to get the blush off my face but I knew it was no use. Sid kept mentioning the damn stuffed animal's name. The color would stay as long as he brought it up and he would keep doing it knowing it was making me uncomfortable. Sid smirked, shaking his head. I growled, pointing a finger at him. "Watch it, tiny. I'm the one babysitting you remember?"

Sid opened his mouth to argue but shut it with a pout. He huffed again, a defeated look on his face. "You're no fun. I should've brought Craig up here with me." Sid whined. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head in disagreement. "First the elephant, than golf. What's next, ballet?" he mumbled softly. Jim snickered, eyes shooting off in the distance. I sucked in a deep breath, trying desperately not to strangle the teen. Though the idea looked promising.

Before I could answer him back, banging was heard below us. Followed quickly by loud shouting. I recognized the shouting and pushed myself from my seat. Corey was yelling heatedly at someone as he stormed off across the parking lot, his hands flying off in every direction. I looked over my shoulder at Jim, face blank. Sid watched Corey's war path and then glanced up at us, eyes serious yet again. I sighed again. Hearing another bang I looked down. Clown jogged down the stairs, scanning the parking lot for our raging vocalist. Looking up, he locked eyes with mine. "Where'd he go, Chris?"

I simply pointed and he took off. A moment later, the tour manager came out of the bus. I noticed that his shirt looked a little wrinkled and wondered if Corey had hit him. He left without a word. Shaking my head, I walked back to the other two. Sid climbed off Jim's lap without a word. Jim gathered up his book and grabbed the blanket from the floor. "C'mon, let's go warm up. Joey probably has hot chocolate hidden somewhere."

Silently we climbed down to the parking lot and entered the bus. Joey and Craig eyed us as we walked inside. Paul entered the living room area, face serious. Sid looked at the three of them, looking so small inside his sweat shirt. His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something but with a shake of his head, he closed it and climbed onto the couch with Joey. Joey wrapped small arms around him and stroked the back of his head. No words were said but something was off inside the bus. Jim cleared his throat and went to the kitchen area. "Hey Joey, you got any hidden hot chocolate?"

"Top shelf behind the cereal." Joey answered. Jim smiled, rooting around in the cabinets until he found the metal tin with the white packets. I watched the guys for a moment, almost feeling the emotion in the bus. I walked past Jim and stopped just before Paul. He looked me over, his brown eyes drawn. Glancing at me, he jerked his head towards the bunk rooms and I followed him inside without questions.

Mick was sitting on my bunk when we entered, hands cradling his head. I sat opposite of him on Craig's bunk. Paul leaned against the door way, arms crossed tightly. I eyed them carefully, hands balled up in my pants pocket. Shaking my head, I gazed down at the floor. "What's happening?" I asked softly. I noticed that my voice held no tone to it and I frowned. I hated sounding so hollow.

Neither man answered at first. Then Mick shook his head, hands falling away to look at me. He didn't speak, just looked at me. I saw the anger and anguish in his eyes. Paul spoke for him. "Sid's brother found out where he is. He demanded that Sid be brought back to him. Tour managers afraid that he'll press kidnap charges against us if we don't do it." Paul explained.

I leaned back into the wall, head shaking. "That's bullshit. Did he mention the scars Sid has from the beatings his brothers gave him? We should be filing abuse charges on him! There's no way we're letting Sid go back to him. No fucking way in hell." I spat out. Mick snorted, head nodding. I shook my head, anger filling my mouth with a bitter taste. "He can't go back to him. He ran from his brother for a reason."

"You're preaching to the choir, Chris. We all know he can't go back there. Corey already flipped out about it. I had to pull him off the T.M. when he suggested we send Sid back to Des Moines. Corey came from that kind of shit. He knows what it can do it a kid. He doesn't want it for Sid." Mick piped up, voice surprisingly level though Chris could see the giant man shaking. Mick glanced away quickly. "Hell, none of us do."

Paul sighed deeply, shoulders sagging forward. "This shit is messed up. I already said that if Sid goes back to Iowa I'm not playing anymore. That kid cannot go back there." Mick nodded slowly, blue eyes staring holes into the floor. I frowned, running my fingers through my hair. Silently we looked back and forth at each other. All lost for words.

Someone entering the bunk room pulled our attentions from each other. Clown walked in and sat down opposite me, shoulders brushing against Micks. Paul looked down at him, eyes hopeful. Clown looked at each of us in turn and then shook his head. "I tried to get him to come back. He just kept going. Said he needed to work out some of the shit in his head and that he would be back later." he explained without any questions from us. He leaned forward, resting his head in his hand and sighed deeply. "Fucking hell, I feel so old."

We chuckled slightly despite the tension in the room. Mick squeezed Clown's shoulder reassuringly. Clown smiled at us softly. Shaking my head once again, I pushed myself to my feet. Shrugging out of my coat, I grabbed my sweatshirt and slipped it on. Popping my head out, I leaned sideways and gazed into the entertainment room. "I'm taking the television to play video games. I need to blow shit up. If anyone wants to join me, I'll be in there."

I moved past Paul slightly, looking back out towards the front of the bus. Jim and Craig were stretched out over the table, a checkers board in front of them. Joey was still curled up on the couch. Sid was lying down, his head resting on Joey's leg. I walked out, stopping at the fridge to grab a drink. Joey shot me a sideways look and then looked down at Sid. His fingers still moved over the sleeping teens head. I smiled slightly. "He passed out easily. You give him hot chocolate?"

Joey nodded, icy blue eyes soft. "Yeah. He had two mugs. Was sleep bitching about golf and ballet. I figured he was talking about you." he joked. I shook my head. Joey smirked, eyes falling down on Sid again. I sighed when I saw the tense look on his face. It was an expression I had seen a couple of times on him while he slept and knew it was never good. He was having bad dreams. "He's been like that since he fell asleep. He knows something isn't right."

"The kid may be a ball of supersonic energy all the time and act like he doesn't know anything but he's smart. He knows when things are falling to shit. It's his defense mechanism." Craig interjected from the table. We looked over at him. He glanced at us, eyes serious behind his glasses. Jim just shrugged, leaning back comfortably back into his seat. Looking back at his pieces, Craig jumped two of Jim's with a smirk. "Sid's better at this game then you, Jimmy. You need to pay attention more."

"I have a lot of stuff on my mind right now, Craig. It's hard to process it all and still play a children's game. Sorry buddy." Jim mumbled. Craig frowned, face holding a look of understanding on his face. I sipped my drink with arched brows, not exactly sure what to say. Jim sighed again, leaning his head against the window. "I need coffee."

Snorting slightly, I flicked the coffee pot on behind me. Jim smiled in gratitude. I nodded, turning back around. "I'm taking over the television from now until I pass out. If you want to play, just ask." I toss over my shoulder while walking back into the entertainment room. Clown was in the corner of the couch, laptop in his lap and fingers darting over the keyboard quickly. He was working on something. Paul was flipping through a magazine, half watching Mick as he blew up a tank on the big screen. I sank down next to the giant and reached for a controller. "Two player?"

"Two player."

-------

I sucked in a deep breath as I stood just outside the parking lot where our bus was parked. The lights had gone off over an hour ago and yet I still did not want to go into the bus. My anger was subsided slightly. Though my hands hurt from the things I had beaten to tame it. If I hadn't hit something, I would have exploded and I knew that would not have ended very pretty. Me and my anger were longtime friends. And I hated to say that sometimes it got the better of me.

Stuffing my near numb hands into my pants pockets, I walked silently towards the bus. One of our roadies looked up from his walk towards the hotel and opened his mouth to speak. I waved him off with a sad smile. He seemed to understand and kept walking. He was the one that we usually found Sid hanging out with. He would carry the teen on his shoulders through the crowds and pull him from the maggots when Sid went crowd surfing. He looked after Sid while we were busy on the stage.

I stopped in front of the bus door, my hand still frozen inside my pockets. I knew I needed to get inside and warm up. And get some sleep. My body was beyond tired from dealing with my outburst earlier. Swallowing deeply, I pulled open the door as quietly as I could. Warm air hit me in the face and I sighed in content as I climbed the stairs. My eyes struggled slightly to adjust with the lack of light in the bus. The television flickered next to my head and it slightly helped me gather myself. I nearly screamed when I saw the couch moving and Joey's eyes peeking out in the darkness.

"That you, Cor?" he mumbled, voice thick with sleep. I growled slightly, trying to tame my wild heart. I walked inside more, dropping to sit on the bench that ran along the table. He watched me through tired eyes. For a moment I wondered if he had stayed up waiting for me. Then I saw Sid curled up on the couch next to him, a near pissed off look on his sleeping face. Joey glanced down, eyes clearing slightly. "He fell asleep just after you left. I got him awake long enough to eat and watch TV. Then he went right back to sleep."

"How long has he had that look on his face?" I asked softly, twisting my hands inside my sweatshirt pouch. Joey shrugged, shooting me an apologetic look. I waved it away. It wasn't his fault. Looking around, I realized we were the only ones awake. "Everyone else went to bed?"

"Yeah. Been kind of tense in here. Nothing feels right." he admitted, fingers absent mindedly running themselves through Sid's Mohawk. The teen twitched slightly, face muscles tightening even more. Joey sighed deeply. Sid mumbled, turning onto his side. Joey shook his head, yawning deeply. I watched the two of them. With a grunt, I pushed myself to my feet.

"C'mon. Get to bed. I'll stay out here with him." I offered. Joey looked like he wanted to argue with me. Then he smiled and nodded. Carefully he maneuvered out from around Sid and stood. He stretched and groaned when his back cracked loudly. I snorted, pushing him towards the bunk room. "Go on. I'm not tired yet so I might watch some television."

Joey nodded, yawning again as he walked into the bunkroom and disappeared behind the curtain. I glanced down at Sid and shook my head. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and dropped into Joey's vacated seat. Kicking my sneakers off, I lounged back and reached for the remote. Yawning I flipped through the channels, hoping something interesting was on. Sid twitched next to me, rolling over and laying his head on my thigh with a grunt. I smirked, rubbing the back of his head. "Easy kid. You 'll roll off the couch." I whispered to him, though I knew he wouldn't hear me.

For a while, that's how we stayed. I flipped through all the channels, finally settling on an old horror movie. Sid slept on fitfully next to me. At first I thought maybe he was uncomfortable on the couch. Then the twitching became more apparent. He was having a nightmare. Placing the bottle on the window lip, I gently shook his shoulder. "Sid, hey. Wake up!" I whispered strongly.

He flinched, pulling away from me. I frowned, shaking him a little harder. He jerked awake, green eyes looking around frantically. When they finally landed on me, I smiled easily. Sid swallowed roughly, sitting up and looking around. I sat a little straighter, watching him carefully. His body trembled and for a moment, I was brought back to the night we found him. I laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. Sid glanced over at his shoulder at me, eyes wide. Before I could ask what was wrong, he threw himself at me and wrapped his arms around my middle.

I instantly wrapped him in my arms, holding him as tight as I could to my body. He shook uncontrollably now, back heaving. I felt the front of my shirt getting wet and knew I he was crying. I blinked away the hot tears that sprung to my eyes. I rubbed the back of his head and neck softly, hoping maybe it would calm him down. "It's alright, Sid. I'm here. You're safe remember?" I whispered. Sid shook his head, hiccupping loudly. I frowned. "Why aren't you safe, kid?"

"Because he knows where I am. As long as he knows where I am, I won't ever be free of him." He whimpered deep in his throat, body shaking more. I pulled him higher up, so he rested against my chest. I cupped his face with my hands and lifted his face towards mine. I hated how scared and vulnerable he looked. It made my heart ache because I remembered being like him once. Sid tried to pull away but I held on, shaking my head.

"You are safe. We aren't going to let him hurt you. There's eight of us and one of him. He comes anywhere near you and we'll make sure he never touches you again. You got that? We will protect you." I swore. He didn't look like he believed me. I wiped away his tear trails with my thumbs. "I will make sure nothing happens to you. I don't want you to be like me. No kid should go through that."

Sid frowned, sniffing loudly. "There's nothing wrong with you. What's so bad about you that you're afraid for me to be like you?" he asked quietly. I smiled sadly and leaned back into the couch. Sid rested into me, wiping his eyes with a shaking hand.

"Sid, I'm better now. You should have seen me a few years ago. I was a ball of anger and hate. I wanted to destroy everything and everyone that got in my way. I grew up scared, with no one around to protect. I protected myself and cared for no one else. It shouldn't have been that way. Someone should've protected me. I don't want you to be like me. Not back then." I explained. The tears threaten to fall again and I blinked them away quickly. Looking down, I smiled at him. "No one should shoulder a weight like that alone. That's why you got all us to watch out for you."

Sid nodded slowly. He looked out the window for a few minutes, face passive. I saw the gears turning in his head though. "You want to know a secret?" he asked, voice almost a whisper. He looked back at me, eyes truthful. I nodded. His lip twitched lightly. "I don't like sleeping alone because I have really bad nightmares. When I sleep with someone else, they don't seem as bad or I don't have them. That's why I like sharing a bed."

I frowned slightly. Well that explained. Paul and I had tossed that idea around once before. We just figured Sid like being near someone. Now I understood. Not that I could blame him. I used to do the same thing for a long time. "What are the nightmares about?"

"Beau."

"Beau's your brother I take it?" Sid nodded, eyes darkening. I swallowed my anger once again. Sid must have sensed it because he rubbed the top of my hand with his finger. I smiled. "Tell me about Beau. If you want, I mean."

Sid was quiet for a few minutes. I waited patiently, hoping he would talk to me. Out of everyone on the bus, I had the best experience with his background. Finally after a long silence, he did speak. "He wasn't always like that to me. He raised me after my parents went back to England. I was born there; did I ever tell you that?" I shook my head. He smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'm English. But Beau was sixteen when my parents went back. I was six. He got custody of me and I loved being with him. He was my big brother. But…"

I tensed when he said 'but'. It always went bad after the 'but'. "But then, something happened. I remember coming home from school one day. I was nine. He was mad about something; something I had done. I didn't do it and I kept telling him that. He didn't believe me. Beau grabbed his work belt, this thick leather thing and started hitting me. I wanted to run but he had got me down on the ground and kept me there."

My anger flared in my stomach. I blew out the hot air through my nose. Sid stared into space, lost in his thoughts. I curled my arm tighter around him without realizing I was doing it. He smiled in content. "How long did that go on for? And how did you ever manage to leave?" I managed out.

"It went on every day for three years. According to him, I owed him my life and he could do whatever he wanted with me. You should see the room he called 'mine', it was horrible." Sid paused once again, fingers tugging at his shirt with a frown. I watched him carefully. Fresh tears fell and I wiped them away without a word. Sid nodded. "I got away when he finally left for a night. He thought he had locked me in my room. He forgot. I stole the money he had stashed under the floorboard in his room and ran while I had the chance. I met up with some kids leaving and lied about my age. If they had known I was only twelve they would've sent me right back home to Beau. I couldn't do….do it anymore…I was so tired of it…"

I silenced him before he got himself all hysterical. I wrapped him tightly in my arms again, cradling his head under chin. My eyes burned and for once I didn't fight them. I let them fall. I didn't care. My anger and sadness fought for top emotion in my body. I didn't understand how he managed to do it and still be himself, but I had to give Sid credit. He took life and ran with it. All I knew was that if Beau ever tried to come take Sid from us, he would be walking into his deathbed. He wouldn't get away with what he did to his brother. I would make sure of it.

"I'm sorry, Corey." Sid mumbled, voice sounding so broken.

I pulled back slightly, looking down at him. His eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed. The tears had left trails down his face and he looked like he had fallen from the rafters. I hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head without a care in the world. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. Your brother Beau did it, not you. He took everything you believed in and smashed it all away. You are not to blame. You better remember that, Sid. Never blame yourself, okay?"

He nodded weakly, sniffing once again. I smiled, kissing his head once more. I reached down near his feet and grabbed the blanket that had covered him earlier. I draped it over us and rested my head against the couch cushions. "Now, let's get some sleep. We have two more shows and then we're back in Iowa. And if I run into your brother, I want to be well rested when I kick his ass." Sid looked like he wanted to protest but with one look he snuggled back down. Moments later I heard soft snoring.

"And I promise you, if I see Beau, I will kick his ass."