Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Forever in my heart
A/N: Ok so here's part 8 for you all. I don't know if anyone's still with me and reading but I worked so hard with this chapter. I want it to be perfect. I struggled and rewrote it several times. I even deleted a whole huge chunk because it didn't feel right. Then this just came over me like a wave and the chapter was done in one day ^^ I'm very much proud of this. I like having Ray be a main part of this chapter mainly because he hasn't been in this story a lot and I think Mikey and him are very very good friends in real life. Maybe better than him and Frank so as much as I love Frikey =P This is better. Ok this is starting get longer than the chapter. Enjoy!! =D
Once Mikey woke up he made a speedy recovery in the hospital and got better by the hour. But the doctors wanted to keep him for observation for a while longer since he was still recovering and the accident was very severe. So here he sits on this damn hospital bed with his left arm in a cast, aching ribs and his right leg in a huge brace. Wonderful.
He sighs with frustration for the millionth time as his body aches. He lies back against the pillows and stares at the ceiling. He's so bored and tired and.. so bored. He wants to go home, and he means home for real this time. His home.
The doctor walks in and he quickly sits up, biting back a groan.
"Can I go home now?" He asks almost pleadingly, hoping that this time is the time the doctor says yes and let's him go.
"No Mr. Way. Not yet. You're still in pain and we need to keep an eye on your head." The doctor tells him sternly. He understands they're growing tired of his questions and whining but he really wants to go home.
"But I feel..." He starts but the doctor looks at him and he shrinks back on the bed. He knows there's no point in trying anymore. They won't let him go.
"We will let you know when it's ok to go home. But for now, rest." The doctor tells him after checking his vitals and leaving the room. Yeah rest.. piece of cake. He's bored out of his mind and he's sad and.. he just wants company.
He checks to make sure nobody's watching before he slowly moves his right hand to the nightstand and opens the drawer. Then he sneaks his hand inside and fishes up his cellphone quietly. It's late but he's desperate so he mass sends a text to his brother, Frank and Ray, telling them he's bored and lonely. After he sneaks the phone back into the drawer he lays back and waits unpatiently for someone to come entertain him. Just so bored..
After raising the bed so he's sitting up and getting comfortable he hears a faint knock on the door before he sees a head with big hair peeking through the gap. A weak smile plays on his lips as Ray walks inside and turns on a tiny light.
"Heey, I hurried." Ray says quietly as he sits down in the chair next to Mikey's low bed.
"Thanks.. I was just kinda bored." He says sadly, not really meeting his friends eyes.
"I understand. Of course I'll be here to keep you company. You can't sleep?" The older man asks carefully, knowing Mikey usually isn't the one for being up all night. Ray has always been good at catching details and he can see that Mikey infact looks tired and sad, not so much bored and hyper. That's more Frank's persona.
"No... I feel too restless. I wanna go home." Mikey sighs sadly, finally meeting his friends eyes. He feels way more emotional and upset now when someone's here. More than he thought he would.
"The doctor said it won't be that long now.. You know, when you were not waking up. I was so worried. I just couldn't lose you too." Ray says with a shaky voice and Mikey nods slowly, feeling a lump form in his throat.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry you were all worried.. I'm sorry it happened." He bites his lips and looks away, out the window. The late hour and the current situation has them both emotional and speaking their minds.
"Mikey, no. You don't have to be sorry. We know it was an accident." Ray says, squeezing Mikey's shoulder comfortingly. Mikey looks up at the other man and nods slowly.
"I know.. it was. I just..." He bites his lip and looks away again.
"Mikey, it's ok to be sad." Ray says with a rough voice but Mikey just sighs and sniffs.
"I'm just so sick of crying. I don't want to cry." He says desperately but the tears are already rolling down his cheeks. He tries to wipe them off quickly but he feels too sad, too upset.
"I get nightmares.. of the accident.. and her." He blurts out, confessing his true reason for being up at 3 AM and wanting to go home. Ray just looks at him for a while as he calms down and their eyes meet.
"Tell me." Ray says with a short nod, wanting his friend to keep talking to him, letting him know what's wrong because then maybe he can help. Mikey just shrugs.
"It doesn't matter.. I just.." Mikey starts but cuts himself off.
"What? Talk to me." Ray pleads with his best friend, moving a bit closer and stroking his hair back out of his eyes. Sometimes he feels like Mikey is his little brother as well and those protective feelings are on overload tonight. He just really wants to help. Mikey wipes his eyes one last time before taking a deep breath. He knows he'll feel better if he just talks to someone.
"Ok.. There was this split second.. that moment right before the truck hit me. When I knew what was inevitably gonna happen but it hadn't happened yet. I felt so happy. I wanted to die. I wanted it to end. I hurt too much and the thought of it being over made me so happy." He's now full out crying as he talks and a few tears fall from Ray's eyes as well.
"Well.. How about now?" Ray asks, wiping at his tears quickly.
"I don't know... I want her back but.. I think I want to be here too. I woke up here and a little piece of me was so relieved." He confesses honestly. It's true and he feels like it's good that someone knows that. But sometimes he wants her back so badly that it feels like there's no other way.
"How do I live without her?" He asks Ray suddenly, pain evident like a shadow over his face. Ray moves closer on their chair and takes his friends hand.
"You'll find a way, Mikey. We are all here for you and you'll find a way." He says desperately before pulling the younger man into a hug for a few seconds. letting go only because it caused Mikey pain but not really wanting to let go. He just wants to help. It kills him that someone he loves so much feels this way. Feels so much pain..
"It just hurts too much. I can't handle it. It makes me act so horribly..." He says with a frown firmly in place on his face. Frustration and sadness getting the better of him.
"We all understand, Mikey. You don't have to feel bad about it. We understand and we won't hold anything against you." Ray tells him honestly, nodding and biting his tongue so he won't fall apart and cry.
"I told Peter he killed her.. I didn't mean it.. I swear I didn't." Mikey's full out crying again and Ray pulls him into a hug, not even caring if it hurts.
"He knows... he knows.." He tells Mikey over and over in a whisper until he pulls away from the hug. Mikey lies down on the bed exhausted, still stubbornly wiping at his tears. Ray strokes back his hair again carefully.
"It's gonna be ok, I promise. We're here, he knows you didn't mean it and we will all help you get through this." Ray says teary eyed and Mikey nods slowly.
"Ok... I'll try." He says, suddenly extremely exhausted and emotionally drained. His eyes are feeling heavy and the way Ray is stroking his hair is making him extremely sleepy.
"Good, now get some sleep." Ray tells him silently as he sits back in his chair and keeps an eye on the other man as his eyes drift shut. Mikey feels a powerful sleep draw him in but before he's completely out he hears the incessant beeping of the heart monitor and Ray crying silently in the background. It makes him sad but he's too far gone to wake up and talk some more. Sleep is pulling him into the darkness and soon his mind is busy dreaming of car crashes and her beautiful face smiling at him.
PS: I was gonna have this chapter edited by someone but I emailed her two days ago and I just lost my patience haha so sorry if you read this. I was just way too eager to post the new chapter. If there's anything huge then I can just change it =)
Once Mikey woke up he made a speedy recovery in the hospital and got better by the hour. But the doctors wanted to keep him for observation for a while longer since he was still recovering and the accident was very severe. So here he sits on this damn hospital bed with his left arm in a cast, aching ribs and his right leg in a huge brace. Wonderful.
He sighs with frustration for the millionth time as his body aches. He lies back against the pillows and stares at the ceiling. He's so bored and tired and.. so bored. He wants to go home, and he means home for real this time. His home.
The doctor walks in and he quickly sits up, biting back a groan.
"Can I go home now?" He asks almost pleadingly, hoping that this time is the time the doctor says yes and let's him go.
"No Mr. Way. Not yet. You're still in pain and we need to keep an eye on your head." The doctor tells him sternly. He understands they're growing tired of his questions and whining but he really wants to go home.
"But I feel..." He starts but the doctor looks at him and he shrinks back on the bed. He knows there's no point in trying anymore. They won't let him go.
"We will let you know when it's ok to go home. But for now, rest." The doctor tells him after checking his vitals and leaving the room. Yeah rest.. piece of cake. He's bored out of his mind and he's sad and.. he just wants company.
He checks to make sure nobody's watching before he slowly moves his right hand to the nightstand and opens the drawer. Then he sneaks his hand inside and fishes up his cellphone quietly. It's late but he's desperate so he mass sends a text to his brother, Frank and Ray, telling them he's bored and lonely. After he sneaks the phone back into the drawer he lays back and waits unpatiently for someone to come entertain him. Just so bored..
After raising the bed so he's sitting up and getting comfortable he hears a faint knock on the door before he sees a head with big hair peeking through the gap. A weak smile plays on his lips as Ray walks inside and turns on a tiny light.
"Heey, I hurried." Ray says quietly as he sits down in the chair next to Mikey's low bed.
"Thanks.. I was just kinda bored." He says sadly, not really meeting his friends eyes.
"I understand. Of course I'll be here to keep you company. You can't sleep?" The older man asks carefully, knowing Mikey usually isn't the one for being up all night. Ray has always been good at catching details and he can see that Mikey infact looks tired and sad, not so much bored and hyper. That's more Frank's persona.
"No... I feel too restless. I wanna go home." Mikey sighs sadly, finally meeting his friends eyes. He feels way more emotional and upset now when someone's here. More than he thought he would.
"The doctor said it won't be that long now.. You know, when you were not waking up. I was so worried. I just couldn't lose you too." Ray says with a shaky voice and Mikey nods slowly, feeling a lump form in his throat.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry you were all worried.. I'm sorry it happened." He bites his lips and looks away, out the window. The late hour and the current situation has them both emotional and speaking their minds.
"Mikey, no. You don't have to be sorry. We know it was an accident." Ray says, squeezing Mikey's shoulder comfortingly. Mikey looks up at the other man and nods slowly.
"I know.. it was. I just..." He bites his lip and looks away again.
"Mikey, it's ok to be sad." Ray says with a rough voice but Mikey just sighs and sniffs.
"I'm just so sick of crying. I don't want to cry." He says desperately but the tears are already rolling down his cheeks. He tries to wipe them off quickly but he feels too sad, too upset.
"I get nightmares.. of the accident.. and her." He blurts out, confessing his true reason for being up at 3 AM and wanting to go home. Ray just looks at him for a while as he calms down and their eyes meet.
"Tell me." Ray says with a short nod, wanting his friend to keep talking to him, letting him know what's wrong because then maybe he can help. Mikey just shrugs.
"It doesn't matter.. I just.." Mikey starts but cuts himself off.
"What? Talk to me." Ray pleads with his best friend, moving a bit closer and stroking his hair back out of his eyes. Sometimes he feels like Mikey is his little brother as well and those protective feelings are on overload tonight. He just really wants to help. Mikey wipes his eyes one last time before taking a deep breath. He knows he'll feel better if he just talks to someone.
"Ok.. There was this split second.. that moment right before the truck hit me. When I knew what was inevitably gonna happen but it hadn't happened yet. I felt so happy. I wanted to die. I wanted it to end. I hurt too much and the thought of it being over made me so happy." He's now full out crying as he talks and a few tears fall from Ray's eyes as well.
"Well.. How about now?" Ray asks, wiping at his tears quickly.
"I don't know... I want her back but.. I think I want to be here too. I woke up here and a little piece of me was so relieved." He confesses honestly. It's true and he feels like it's good that someone knows that. But sometimes he wants her back so badly that it feels like there's no other way.
"How do I live without her?" He asks Ray suddenly, pain evident like a shadow over his face. Ray moves closer on their chair and takes his friends hand.
"You'll find a way, Mikey. We are all here for you and you'll find a way." He says desperately before pulling the younger man into a hug for a few seconds. letting go only because it caused Mikey pain but not really wanting to let go. He just wants to help. It kills him that someone he loves so much feels this way. Feels so much pain..
"It just hurts too much. I can't handle it. It makes me act so horribly..." He says with a frown firmly in place on his face. Frustration and sadness getting the better of him.
"We all understand, Mikey. You don't have to feel bad about it. We understand and we won't hold anything against you." Ray tells him honestly, nodding and biting his tongue so he won't fall apart and cry.
"I told Peter he killed her.. I didn't mean it.. I swear I didn't." Mikey's full out crying again and Ray pulls him into a hug, not even caring if it hurts.
"He knows... he knows.." He tells Mikey over and over in a whisper until he pulls away from the hug. Mikey lies down on the bed exhausted, still stubbornly wiping at his tears. Ray strokes back his hair again carefully.
"It's gonna be ok, I promise. We're here, he knows you didn't mean it and we will all help you get through this." Ray says teary eyed and Mikey nods slowly.
"Ok... I'll try." He says, suddenly extremely exhausted and emotionally drained. His eyes are feeling heavy and the way Ray is stroking his hair is making him extremely sleepy.
"Good, now get some sleep." Ray tells him silently as he sits back in his chair and keeps an eye on the other man as his eyes drift shut. Mikey feels a powerful sleep draw him in but before he's completely out he hears the incessant beeping of the heart monitor and Ray crying silently in the background. It makes him sad but he's too far gone to wake up and talk some more. Sleep is pulling him into the darkness and soon his mind is busy dreaming of car crashes and her beautiful face smiling at him.
PS: I was gonna have this chapter edited by someone but I emailed her two days ago and I just lost my patience haha so sorry if you read this. I was just way too eager to post the new chapter. If there's anything huge then I can just change it =)
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