Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > All the Lies in the Books

5. This Awkward Silence

by ThanksChemVenom 16 reviews

/Good job Frankfurter./ /Shut up. Don't call me that./ /I am you. Don't tell me what to do./ (Title from Skylines and Turnstiles)

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2012-06-18 - Updated: 2012-08-27 - 2388 words

Gerard's POV:

I was awoken by someone shaking me awake and shouting at me.

"C'mon Gee! Geetaaarrrd! GERARD ARTHUR WAY! GET YOUR BUTT UP." shouted the familiar voice; I was way too tired to recognize it completely.

"Nggh. 20 more minutes." I groaned, wanting the bed to swallow me into a comfortable abyss of soft blankets and darkness.

"No. it's already 9 o'clock in the morning. breakfast is already over and we have individual counseling today."

I hesitantly peeled my eyes open, dragging myself out of bed and standing up to face Bob.

Really? ...Fucker.

"Yea, yeah I know what you're thinking, get dressed and we have to go to the pavilion." Bob said with a sarcastic smile.

I threw on a blue- grey hoodie, black skinny jeans and pulled on my trusty black biker boots.

Good enough. I sighed, catching my reflection in the mirror.

I shuffled over to the cabinet with the edible food in and grabbed a granola bar, before exiting the cabin.

Sliding into the uncomfortable bench in the breakfast table, Frank shyly smiles at me.

"You've got an amazing voice." he whispered, scarcely audible against the bustle of breakfast in the cafeteria.

You've got an adorable smile.

"Uh, thank you." I stammered, suddenly nervous and painfully aware of the bumper car butterflies colliding in my stomach.

"Yea, your'e welcome." he offered back, eyes searching his breakfast plate aimlessly, blush still sinking down his cheeks.

You've got a beautiful... everything.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me.

After everyone had received their therapy schedule, I walked back to the cabin with Bob and Mikey, since Frank and Matt have their therapy scheduled at the same time.

I idly paced around the room, composing lyrics, writing and humming, until I heard someone sobbing, and dashed footsteps just outside our door.

Frank was dashing past the cabin, headed straight for the bathroom building, eyes red with tears and black with smeared eyeliner.

Automatically my body responded and I was running out the door in seconds.

A/N Super sorry, this is REALLY short, I'll write the rest tomorrow, I'm currently struck with some writers block. Hope you like that though c:
Frank's POV:

I woke up feeling rested and calm, a rarity for most of my nights.

It probably had nothing to do with anyone's amazing singing. Of course not.


Since I was already awake before everyone else, I showered and dressed in some ripped, light wash skinny jeans, converse and a Black Flag tee that was almost worn through from overuse.

I aimlessly bustled about the cabin, and after a few minutes I grabbed my Ipod and laid back down in my bed, drifting in and out of semi consciousness.

Bob was the first one awake, and motioned to me to take my earphones out.

Sure enough, not even two seconds later, Mrs. Abramesco shoved the cabin door open and said, "Bob, you need to be awake. Early morning counselor meeting in ten!"

Shutting the door I looked back at Bob.

"She is creepily perky. Counselor meeting in ten!" I mocked, pitching my voice s high as it would go.

Bob chuckled, and walked out the cabin door, then reopened it, popped his head in and added, "Oh, you could go to breakfast now since no one else is awake."

"Okay, I'll go in a little." I answered, not really having anything else to be doing.

"Be back later." he smiled, exiting.

I walked over to the cafeteria, and grabbed my tray of gloop that was supposedly eggs and bacon, and sat at an empty table.

People had already begun trickling into the cafeteria, but not a single one that I knew.

I was sitting by myself, dejected in a corner table.

Just like in school.

Yep, you'll always be a loser.

Sometimes, I want to scream.

Just scream loud enough for the entire universe to hear me.

Sometimes I want to pull out all of my hair, and slice my wrists until the floors are colored crimson.

It's not that I'm crazy, I'm not.

But I can't ever get out of my own mind.

I'm stuck with a personal bully, that I can't shake; me.

Even my shadow leaves when it gets dark.

The members of my cabin had already started towards my table, eyes full of laughter and trays full of "food."

The group, which I just noticed was lacking Gerard all plopped down around me.

A chorus of greetings echoed at our small table, contrasting with the relatively silent cafeteria.

Chatter picked up as the breakfast line was packed with people. I wasn't really paying attention to my table, I threw in an occasional smile or comment but I was really just scanning the cafeteria looking for someone.

I didn't even realize that someone happened to be Gerard until he plunked down right in front of me.

Our eyes met and the deep russet color sent a jolt through my chest.

You've got an amazing voice.

Shit I said that out loud.

"Uh, thank you." Gerard tripped over his words, much more nervous looking than usual.

Good job Frankfurter.

Shut up. Don't call me that.

I am you. Don't tell me what to do.

"Yea, your'e welcome." I responded, I could feel my cheeks flushing with a tinge of magenta I looked back at my plate, suddenly enamored with the mushy eggs.

Through the rest of breakfast, glances were stolen and breaths caught, until an announcement was made that anyone who had counseling first wave needed to go to their counselors offices.


I was actually looking forward to possibly spending time with Gee but-


Since when does he have a nickname?

Since when did I give him a nickname?

Since when do I want to spend time with HIM?

Since you saw him... a small part of my brain echoed.

Oh. I brushed the thought away violently, shoving it out of my head, off of my shoulders to lie to rest along with thousands of other thoughts I left behind.

I muddled along towards my counselors office, arriving there a few minutes late at 9:34.

My counselor smirked at me duplicitously, eyes malicious and full of hatred.

"Hello, uh, Frank I presume, looking down at a manila file folder.

"Y- yes." I stuttered, intimidated.

"So, Frank you think you're gay." he sneered, I glanced at his name tag /Mr. Rollins/.

Great way to totally trash that name. I'll never be able to listen to Black Flag normally again.

You mean I am gay? I said, confused and put off by his question.

"No, I mean you think you are. Homosexuality is merely a sexual addiction. This confusion is dangerous and exposes to a disgustingly promiscuous community, and lots of health risks." he said, glaring at me from behind ugly glasses.

He continued, "There are two main causes of homosexuality. Usually it is cause by a break or abandonment in a relationship with a patriarchal figure and that's number one. You long for masculinity again in your life so you try yo absorb it from partners. Another key cause is molestation, rape or other unhealthy relationships."

"Now, it says here in your file that you have suffered from depression and have attempted suicide twice." He kept looking at me skeptically. "Why is that?"

"That was before I started taking anti- depressants. I was depressed. Duh." I muttered, wishing the wall closest to me would just crumble down and let me go.

The look on his face said bingo.

"And were you out as a homosexual during this time?" he said, drawing out the 'l' for a few extra syllables.

"Well, uhm... yes." I said with a sight.

I wasn't going to lie to him.

"And now, I want you to realize that because of that wall of lies that you built up around you were not letting God in and He could not show you who the real you were. You delved into depression because you were trying to justify your sin." He stood up now, slinking over to me and leaning over my chair so we were at eye level.

His sour breath was clouding in my face and it made my stomach churn sickeningly.

Mr. Rollins beady near black eyes were piercing into my own, a tormentor, a threat.

"And if you don't repent and change," he dragged on, enunciating every syllable with a sharp sound, "You will stay the same useless, stupid, and FREAKISH BOY YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN." he raised his voice into the last few words, and my lip quivered dangerously.

"Crybaby." he muttered under his breath.

"You may go now." he said almost perkily, a satisfied tone dripping from his Cheshire smile.

Eyes brimming with tears, I dashed out the door, knocking over my chair and gasping in huge gulps of fresh air.

I blindly ran past three of the cabins, stumbling and sobbing, not caring who saw.

Kicking open the bathroom door, I bolted for the nearest open stall and threw myself into the wall.

Curled up in a heap on the tile, I tried to quiet my tears, which ended up sounding something like a strangled sheep.

I curled into my self further, and felt something clink inside my pocket.

Shoving my hand inside, I pulled out a shiny razor blade.

Hello my old friend.

Hands shaking and heart hurting, I let the salty water stream down my face, and brought the blade up to my pale but scarred wrist.

The flaming liquid ran out, dripping burgundy stains into the bright white porcelain and swimming to the drain. All my issues, all my mistakes, all my hatred just dissolving down the drain.

I didn't even notice anyone had been following me until I heard a "FRANK!" and the door was swinging open.

I saw Gerard standing in the stall doorway, eyes worried and shows untied.

Gerard's hazel eyes got a little wider looking at the sink that all of my problems were dripping into.

He cleared his throat, and stepped inside the stall, locking the door behind him.

"Leave me alone." I stated blandly.

I was scared of what he would say, cowering closer to the sink, razor clattering from my shivering hands into the sink basin.

I sniffled loudly, sobs working their way up my throat.

Gerard walked slowly over to me, as if the moment was a glass bubble suspended in midair and any sudden movements would cause it to shatter completely.

All of a sudden, I was in desperate need of a hug, warmth, a glowing comfort. Not the cold relief that the blade delivered.

Gerard whispered sweet nothings as he drew closer, eventually closing the distance in an embrace, wrapping one arm around my waist and the other around my neck, pulling me tight against him.

Suddenly, I burst into tears. Not from the counselors words, or the antagonizing pain of my hidden razor, but from the gesture of kindness from Gerard.

He pulled back a little bit, lowering his face to meet with mine.

"C'mon angel don't you cry. It'll be alright." Gerard said, his voice was velvety and soft.

He kissed my forehead, and started trailing kisses down my nose.

"Hey, what happened? You can talk to me." he said, raising his voice a little bit in the soothing way you talk to a baby.

"My counselor- Mr. Rollins, he said I was... a freak. he yelled at me. I just, maybe I really am. I am a disgusting person." my voice faltered, cracking in the last few words.

Several more tears ran down my face, my eyes were starting to feel dry and heavy.

"Okay, okay. It's okay baby. You don't have to talk about it." Gerard reasoned, murmuring against my cheek, gently kissing the salty trails left down my face.

"Thank you I-" I started, tilting my head up to meet his eyes.

Instead I met something much softer, his lips.

My instant reaction was to pull back, to run away and disappear in my music again, but the buzz of energy my entire body had gotten, as if I had just been plugged into a power outlet, was impossible to resist.

Our lips just gently laid on each others for a moment, feeling out this new, odd sensation but then, I couldn't stop my self. I pressed up against him and hooked my arms around his neck.


Oh. Shit.

"Mrs. Abramesco, Hi, well you see... uh, Frank had just been bitten my a snake. A poison snake, and well... I was trying to help him suck the poison out! He could have died."

Mrs. Abramesco glared at him viciously, her daughter Lisa sniveling behind her, looking victorious.

If looks could kill.

"You and Mr. Iero will be put in isolation for the following 24 hours on account of misconduct. Understood?" She clipped. "Follow me please."

She spun around to walk out the door, explaining that we were lucky her daughter thought there was something suspicious going on.

"Hey Miss!" Gee said loudly once we were out of the bathroom building, "If you're going to throw us in isolation, I'm gonna at least make it worthwhile." he said, already giggling.

Gerard yanked me forward by my uncut wrist, though both were well hidden behind a hoodie, and grabbed my face in his hands.

He pulled me forward jerkily ans smashed our lips together. Gerard swung me over, lips still attached, into a dance like dip.

His tongue was caressing my bottom lip and Ms. Abramesco was screeching like a rabid banshee for us to stop. She pulled Gee back by the hair, plopping me onto the floor, dazed.

"ISOLATION ROOMS. NOW. THIS HORRID BEHAVIOR WILL NOT BE TOLERATED." she bellowed, reddening her face into a strawberry magenta color.

Gee, winked at me, smirking even though he was being dragged away by a counselor.

Well, I'd go to isolation room, if the room would stop spinning. I thought to myself, the taste of Gerard's sweet lips till on mine.

Hey loves! I won't be able to update tomorrow :c But I hope that was okay! I'll have a new chapter Thursday though. Good night lovelies!
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