Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break
Say Goodbye to the Hearts You Break, and All the Cyanide You Drank
2 reviews“So that’s it, you aren’t even gonna give me another chance? I really am sorry Rachel, I mean it I loved you, I still do.” For the first time in a long time I saw sincerity in his eyes.
1Ambiance
A/N: Hey you guys! I am so so so sorry this has taken so long! There was so much stuff going on. But I finally got the chapter written! I love this story, and I hope someone is still reading, and whoever is I LOVE YOU GUYS! R&R please! Enjoy(:
Chapter 24: Say Goodbye to the Hearts You Break, and All the Cyanide You Drank
Gerard’s POV:
“Who the hell is Chase!? And why is his family going to Rachel’s to dinner!?” I paced around my room, yelling out my rhetorical questions while Mikey just sat on my bed looking through
comic books.
“We—“Mikey opened his mouth to answer, but I just shut him up.
“Don’t answer that, it’s probably her new boyfriend. I am such a fucking idiot. I had to go and screw everything up.” I pushed my hands through my freshly washed hair.
“Gerard stop being such a girl.” Mikey huffed, as he turned the page of his comic.
“I am not being a girl! I just wanna know who this guy is going over to her house.” I said defensively.
“You kind of are being a girl though.” Mikey laughed this time.
“You know what for that you don’t get to read this.” I snatched the comic away from him. Mikey’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
“Dude who the fuck does that! I am right in the middle of the climatic hero vs. villain show down!” Mikey squealed.
“Look who’s the girl now.” I chuckled.
“Man, fuck you. Now I am not telling you what I know about this guy.” Mikey teased and
started to walk out of my room.
“Wait you know something!” I exclaimed quickly throwing the comic back on the bed.
“Yeah, but maybe I don’t wanna tell you now.” Mikey said.
“Please Mikey, what do you want?” I asked, I was desperate.
“Laundry.” He smirked.
“Huh?”
“I want you to do my laundry for the next month.” Mikey grinned widely.
“No fucking way.” I protested. I was not gonna be my little brother’s laundry maid.
“Sucks to be you then. Cause this guy is something else. Oh well see you at dinner.” Mikey taunted walking out the room.
I didn’t need his help. I could live without knowing who this guy was. He probably wasn’t even important. But what if he was? What if Mikey could tell me everything?
“Fuck.” I muttered out, realizing I needed my brother’s help.
“I’ll do it!” I yelled out.
Instantly Mikey was standing at my door grinning widely.
“Excellent.” He purred deviously.
“Now tell me.” I said seriously as I sat down on my bed.
Mikey took my rolley chair by my desk.
“Okay so, we all went to this party without you the other night. Turns out it was that kid Chase Turner’s party. Well the morning after Bob and I were just hanging out and talking to him and it he just so happens to be Rachel’s ex. Coincidently his Dad’s job got moved here.”
Mikey sat back and kicked his feet back on the desk.
“That’s it. I could figure that out from probably anyone.” I said annoyed.
“Yeah, you probably could have just called Bob.” Mikey laughed.
“I hate you.” I grunted.
“Well you better love my laundry for the next month. I like my boxer’s washed on the delicate cycle. I feel like it makes them softer.” Mikey smirked deviously.
“Get out.” I sighed as I laid back on my bed. I heard Mikey close the door and I just laid there. Thinking about Rachel like I always did. But now this other guy, I was worried he was
gonna make things even harder for me, and that was the last thing I wanted.
Rachel’s POV:
“I think you should go.” I sighed, running my hands through my hair. I hadn’t kissed Chase in years, and I don’t know if I even wanted to just then.
“I thought this is what you wanted.” He looked at me confused.
“I have no idea what I want right now. There are so many things going on my life and I just don’t need you coming in and complicating things even more. You shouldn’t even be here! Of all the fucking places in the world to move and you move fucking here.” I wasn’t sure what was coming out of my mouth, but I had no intention of closing it.
“You think I wanted to move here. I had a great life back home, I had an even better life when you were in the picture.” He sighed.
“Yeah well things tend to happen that cause people to change.” I grunted.
“Don’t even start with that again.” He rolled his eyes, and sat down on my bed.
“Are you serious? You cheated on me, probably multiple times, and you’re gonna act like it’s not a big deal.” I could feel my face turn red. Don’t start with that…how fucking dare he. He fucking cheated on me; I have every right to bring it up any fucking time that I want too. That was the final straw for me.
“It was what, a year ago, you need to get over it already.” He replied.
“Well you clearly are.” I scoffed, as I crossed my arms.
“Yeah I am, I made a mistake. I accept that and I moved on. You should do the same, it’s not that difficult..” He stood up and walked over to me.
“Of course it’s fucking easy for you! You weren’t the one cheated on asshole!” I raised my voice, flailing my arms in the air.
“Whatever.” He sighed and rolled his eyes again.
“You’re really gonna sit there and roll your eyes, and act like this isn’t a big deal. It’s the reason we fucking broke up. This all obviously shows me that you aren’t the least bit sorry about breaking my heart and you haven’t changed at all.” I spat him. I walked towards my door and opened it.
“So that’s it, you aren’t even gonna give me another chance? I really am sorry Rachel, I mean it I loved you, I still do.” For the first time in a long time I saw sincerity in his eyes.
“Get out.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I just wanted to be alone.
“Rach, come on. It can be just like it was.” He said, his blue eyes were watering.
“Just leave, I don’t know what to even think right now. I need to be alone.” I couldn’t even
look at him in the eyes, I knew they would break me.
Chase sighed and accepted that he wasn’t gonna get much further with this. He walked sluggishly to the door. He stopped underneath the door frame and looked at me.
“Just please think about it. I miss you so much.” His voice sounded like it was cracking, I was silent and watched leave.
I shut the door and heard his footsteps as he went back upstairs. There was no way I was going back down there. Looks like I was gonna be in my room for the rest of the night. I looked out the window and saw the snow still falling gently. I looked at Gerard’s window and saw nothing. Maybe I could go out on the roof and get some peace and quiet. I opened my closet and grabbed a pea coat and quickly slipped it on. Then I grabbed my purse off of my bed and pulled out my cigarettes and a lighter. I looked at Gerard’s window once more to make sure I was still going to be alone. I saw the coast was clear and pushed the window open. I notice the snow on the roof, so I quickly grabbed a towel from my hamper to keep my butt dry and somewhat warm. I spread the towel down on the roof. Then I grabbed the sides of the window and pulled myself out onto the roof. I sat down and could feel the cold hit me hard. I quickly pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. I inhaled the first hit, it relieved me a bit, but not completely. I exhaled and watched the smoke float away. Since I could already see my breath it looked like an enormous amount of smoke. I couldn’t believe everything that had been going on. It was like I was living in a fucking soap opera and I hated it. I just wanted to be happy again and not have to worry about stupid shit like which guy I am gonna take back. But then again I don’t have to take anyone back. I can just fucking not choose either of them. That’s probably the best decision I could make. But I know it’s not the one that I will make. My mind was just so fucked up when it came to things like this. I go into these relationships thinking I can fix these guys, but that isn’t how it works. They don’t deserve second chance, but I know I will give one them one, and I hate that about myself the most. My ability to just forgive people the second they cry and say they’re sorry. Not this time, this time I am going to try my fucking hardest to not give in. I need either of them and I will survive. It would be so much easier to do if I actually hated Gerard a little bit, and didn’t have such a strong past with Chase. The only I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about is Frank. I am sure my feelings are strongest for him, but I just don’t wanna pull him into this right now. I have weaved myself one fucking hell of a web. I leaned back and glanced at the sky and just sat on my roof and smoked my sorrows away. It seemed to become a routine.
“You know those things will kill ya” I heard Gerard’s voice, and it snapped me out of my train of thought.
“Oh you’re gonna lecture me about smoking. Funny.” I grinned a little bit at him.
“Me smoke, you’re insane.” He said sarcastically as he lit his own cigarette. I missed our little sarcastic batters, but I couldn’t let myself get carried away.
“Yeah you’re right, you are such a golden boy Gee.” I said, as finished the last bit of cigarette and flicked away.
“You called me Gee again.” Gerard pointed out and smiled.
“Yeah.” I hadn’t called him Gee since we dated.
“I like when you call me that.” He smiled lightly and I could see the hope light up his eyes. The hope of a fresh start.
“Yeah well some habits are hard to break.” I replied as I climbed back into my house. I shut the window and closed the blinds.
I couldn’t look at Gerard right now, I missed him too much.
Chapter 24: Say Goodbye to the Hearts You Break, and All the Cyanide You Drank
Gerard’s POV:
“Who the hell is Chase!? And why is his family going to Rachel’s to dinner!?” I paced around my room, yelling out my rhetorical questions while Mikey just sat on my bed looking through
comic books.
“We—“Mikey opened his mouth to answer, but I just shut him up.
“Don’t answer that, it’s probably her new boyfriend. I am such a fucking idiot. I had to go and screw everything up.” I pushed my hands through my freshly washed hair.
“Gerard stop being such a girl.” Mikey huffed, as he turned the page of his comic.
“I am not being a girl! I just wanna know who this guy is going over to her house.” I said defensively.
“You kind of are being a girl though.” Mikey laughed this time.
“You know what for that you don’t get to read this.” I snatched the comic away from him. Mikey’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
“Dude who the fuck does that! I am right in the middle of the climatic hero vs. villain show down!” Mikey squealed.
“Look who’s the girl now.” I chuckled.
“Man, fuck you. Now I am not telling you what I know about this guy.” Mikey teased and
started to walk out of my room.
“Wait you know something!” I exclaimed quickly throwing the comic back on the bed.
“Yeah, but maybe I don’t wanna tell you now.” Mikey said.
“Please Mikey, what do you want?” I asked, I was desperate.
“Laundry.” He smirked.
“Huh?”
“I want you to do my laundry for the next month.” Mikey grinned widely.
“No fucking way.” I protested. I was not gonna be my little brother’s laundry maid.
“Sucks to be you then. Cause this guy is something else. Oh well see you at dinner.” Mikey taunted walking out the room.
I didn’t need his help. I could live without knowing who this guy was. He probably wasn’t even important. But what if he was? What if Mikey could tell me everything?
“Fuck.” I muttered out, realizing I needed my brother’s help.
“I’ll do it!” I yelled out.
Instantly Mikey was standing at my door grinning widely.
“Excellent.” He purred deviously.
“Now tell me.” I said seriously as I sat down on my bed.
Mikey took my rolley chair by my desk.
“Okay so, we all went to this party without you the other night. Turns out it was that kid Chase Turner’s party. Well the morning after Bob and I were just hanging out and talking to him and it he just so happens to be Rachel’s ex. Coincidently his Dad’s job got moved here.”
Mikey sat back and kicked his feet back on the desk.
“That’s it. I could figure that out from probably anyone.” I said annoyed.
“Yeah, you probably could have just called Bob.” Mikey laughed.
“I hate you.” I grunted.
“Well you better love my laundry for the next month. I like my boxer’s washed on the delicate cycle. I feel like it makes them softer.” Mikey smirked deviously.
“Get out.” I sighed as I laid back on my bed. I heard Mikey close the door and I just laid there. Thinking about Rachel like I always did. But now this other guy, I was worried he was
gonna make things even harder for me, and that was the last thing I wanted.
Rachel’s POV:
“I think you should go.” I sighed, running my hands through my hair. I hadn’t kissed Chase in years, and I don’t know if I even wanted to just then.
“I thought this is what you wanted.” He looked at me confused.
“I have no idea what I want right now. There are so many things going on my life and I just don’t need you coming in and complicating things even more. You shouldn’t even be here! Of all the fucking places in the world to move and you move fucking here.” I wasn’t sure what was coming out of my mouth, but I had no intention of closing it.
“You think I wanted to move here. I had a great life back home, I had an even better life when you were in the picture.” He sighed.
“Yeah well things tend to happen that cause people to change.” I grunted.
“Don’t even start with that again.” He rolled his eyes, and sat down on my bed.
“Are you serious? You cheated on me, probably multiple times, and you’re gonna act like it’s not a big deal.” I could feel my face turn red. Don’t start with that…how fucking dare he. He fucking cheated on me; I have every right to bring it up any fucking time that I want too. That was the final straw for me.
“It was what, a year ago, you need to get over it already.” He replied.
“Well you clearly are.” I scoffed, as I crossed my arms.
“Yeah I am, I made a mistake. I accept that and I moved on. You should do the same, it’s not that difficult..” He stood up and walked over to me.
“Of course it’s fucking easy for you! You weren’t the one cheated on asshole!” I raised my voice, flailing my arms in the air.
“Whatever.” He sighed and rolled his eyes again.
“You’re really gonna sit there and roll your eyes, and act like this isn’t a big deal. It’s the reason we fucking broke up. This all obviously shows me that you aren’t the least bit sorry about breaking my heart and you haven’t changed at all.” I spat him. I walked towards my door and opened it.
“So that’s it, you aren’t even gonna give me another chance? I really am sorry Rachel, I mean it I loved you, I still do.” For the first time in a long time I saw sincerity in his eyes.
“Get out.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I just wanted to be alone.
“Rach, come on. It can be just like it was.” He said, his blue eyes were watering.
“Just leave, I don’t know what to even think right now. I need to be alone.” I couldn’t even
look at him in the eyes, I knew they would break me.
Chase sighed and accepted that he wasn’t gonna get much further with this. He walked sluggishly to the door. He stopped underneath the door frame and looked at me.
“Just please think about it. I miss you so much.” His voice sounded like it was cracking, I was silent and watched leave.
I shut the door and heard his footsteps as he went back upstairs. There was no way I was going back down there. Looks like I was gonna be in my room for the rest of the night. I looked out the window and saw the snow still falling gently. I looked at Gerard’s window and saw nothing. Maybe I could go out on the roof and get some peace and quiet. I opened my closet and grabbed a pea coat and quickly slipped it on. Then I grabbed my purse off of my bed and pulled out my cigarettes and a lighter. I looked at Gerard’s window once more to make sure I was still going to be alone. I saw the coast was clear and pushed the window open. I notice the snow on the roof, so I quickly grabbed a towel from my hamper to keep my butt dry and somewhat warm. I spread the towel down on the roof. Then I grabbed the sides of the window and pulled myself out onto the roof. I sat down and could feel the cold hit me hard. I quickly pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. I inhaled the first hit, it relieved me a bit, but not completely. I exhaled and watched the smoke float away. Since I could already see my breath it looked like an enormous amount of smoke. I couldn’t believe everything that had been going on. It was like I was living in a fucking soap opera and I hated it. I just wanted to be happy again and not have to worry about stupid shit like which guy I am gonna take back. But then again I don’t have to take anyone back. I can just fucking not choose either of them. That’s probably the best decision I could make. But I know it’s not the one that I will make. My mind was just so fucked up when it came to things like this. I go into these relationships thinking I can fix these guys, but that isn’t how it works. They don’t deserve second chance, but I know I will give one them one, and I hate that about myself the most. My ability to just forgive people the second they cry and say they’re sorry. Not this time, this time I am going to try my fucking hardest to not give in. I need either of them and I will survive. It would be so much easier to do if I actually hated Gerard a little bit, and didn’t have such a strong past with Chase. The only I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about is Frank. I am sure my feelings are strongest for him, but I just don’t wanna pull him into this right now. I have weaved myself one fucking hell of a web. I leaned back and glanced at the sky and just sat on my roof and smoked my sorrows away. It seemed to become a routine.
“You know those things will kill ya” I heard Gerard’s voice, and it snapped me out of my train of thought.
“Oh you’re gonna lecture me about smoking. Funny.” I grinned a little bit at him.
“Me smoke, you’re insane.” He said sarcastically as he lit his own cigarette. I missed our little sarcastic batters, but I couldn’t let myself get carried away.
“Yeah you’re right, you are such a golden boy Gee.” I said, as finished the last bit of cigarette and flicked away.
“You called me Gee again.” Gerard pointed out and smiled.
“Yeah.” I hadn’t called him Gee since we dated.
“I like when you call me that.” He smiled lightly and I could see the hope light up his eyes. The hope of a fresh start.
“Yeah well some habits are hard to break.” I replied as I climbed back into my house. I shut the window and closed the blinds.
I couldn’t look at Gerard right now, I missed him too much.
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