FicWad

A/N: Hey everyone sorry this took so long I have been so busy lately, but I am glad this is finally up and I hope you all like it (:

Chapter 23: If it Looks Like I'm Laughing I'm Really Just Asking to Leave

Rachel’s POV:

Five days had passed since I had been at Chase’s party. I was still freaking out, not only was Chase living in the same town as me I was at HIS party. The one person I needed stay away from besides Gerard. Thank god Christmas Eve was today, and Christmas was tomorrow. I would have two days to be shut inside my house. This Winter Break was going by so fast. The last five days had been pretty simple, Laura and I just hanging out, sometimes with Frank and Mikey, but mostly it was just Laura and I. We were just catching up on everything, hanging out, watching movies. It reminded me of all the things I used to do at my old home, with my old best friend. I missed my old life sometimes, but in a way I was glad I had moved here and got a chance to start over. I was glad I was where I was, I was glad I had met Laura, Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Bob. Maybe in the future I will be glad that I met Gerard. But for now, I still hated that I had let him into my life. I looked out my window and saw the snow falling softly from the sky. Snow wasn’t something I saw much in North Carolina, but when it did snow, it was more like a wet slushy substance. I quickly threw on my coat and some boots and ran outside. I twirled myself around in the snow, like a child. I honestly felt like a child, I let go of all my worries and just melted away.

I fell down into the snow and started making an angel. I looked up and could see Gerard’s house. He was probably inside with Mikey, talking about comics. I wished he was out here with me, and we could just lie in the snow together, and just absorb each other. But that couldn’t happen, he ruined it. He ruined everything. I heard his front door open. I immediately stopped what I was doing a stood up. I brushed the snow of my body. It had seeped through my shoes and now my socks were wet and my feet were numb. I saw Gerard looking at me as he walked out to his mailbox. I didn’t look away, but I looked right back at him. He walked across the snow closer to my yard. We both stood there starring at each other. Remembering everything about each moment we had spent together.

Gerard’s POV:

I walked out into my yard to get the mail. I was still waiting on Mikey’s Christmas Present to get here; I ordered it two weeks ago. I saw Rachel and I tried my best not to look at her. I listened to the snow crunch beneath my feet as I walked to the mailbox. I was relieved when I saw his package in the mail; I grabbed it and walked into Rachel’s yard.

“Hey.” I finally said...

“Hey.” She said shortly. I knew she couldn’t see me clearly cause of the snow. So I stepped closer.

“How have you been?” I asked.

“Okay, you?” I could tell she missed me, but didn’t want me to think everything was okay. I knew it wasn’t

“Listen, I am so, so sorry. There isn’t anything else more I can say about it, because there is no excuse. I never wanted to hurt you. I just didn’t think I was good enough for you, and I miss you. I want you back. You’re all I think about. I can’t do anything without wondering if you’re there” I stepped closer to me, and stared into her eyes.

I couldn’t believe this was happening this is not what I had expected for today. She was frozen and looked speechless.

“Gerard, I know your sorry, and I can’t say that I don’t want you back. But I can’t, it can’t be that easy, and---“

“Rachel get out of the snow and come get cleaned up. Chase and his family are coming over for dinner.” I heard her mom yell as she opened the door.

“Ah shit.” She muttered out.

“Whose Chase?” I said quietly.

“Nobody, but I gotta go. Nice talk.” She smiled sincerely.

“Yeah, see ya round.” He smiled back, and I walked away.

I was really glad that we had talked. Now things wouldn’t be extremely awkward.

Rachel’s POV

As soon as I shut the door behind me in my house I freaked out.

“Mom! Why is Chase’s family coming over?” I said worried as threw off my coat, and the sweatshirt underneath it.

He was the last person I had wanted to see. Just thinking about him made me sick to my stomach, and the thought of him being in my house made me want to die.

“Well his family just moved here so what a better time to welcome them than Christmas Eve dinner, don’t you think so?” she said cheerfully.

“No actually I don’t think so. Don’t remember anything that happened between us, or are you just ignoring my feelings about this all together.” I was getting pissed; I couldn’t believe she would do this to me.

“Honey, that was a year ago you need to move on, and learn to deal with these situations in an adult manner.” She said calmly still not really understanding, and she probably wouldn’t.

“Okay mom, whatever.” I grunted as I made my way up to my room.

“Oh and put on something nice dear.” I could feel her smile dig into my back.

I sat down on my bed and started pulling off my shoes. Which was difficult because my socks were soaking wet, I pulled several times until my left shoe came off. I did the same thing to my other foot than quickly pulled off my socks.I took all off my clothes off and changed into a mint green dress that rested a little above my knee, the straps had grey beading on the. I usually didn’t even care what I looked like for Christmas Eve dinner. But in a way I did want Chase to see I was better off without him and that I didn’t need him.

One Hour Later

I had styled my hair in six different ways, put my makeup on three different times, and for some strange reason I was nervous I didn’t understand why, but I didn’t want to read too much into it.

“Honey, come on down they’re here!” “I heard my mom yell to me.

She must’ve been looking out the window every five minute. This is going to be just great. I could hear them talking as I walked down the stairs. I stopped for a second to catch my breath.

“Oh she’s been fine, she was dating the boy next door for a couple months. They just didn’t work out.” I heard my mom say.

“Well that’s just a shame.” I heard Chase speak, my stomach dropped. I took one more breath and started walking back down the stairs.

“Well you look beautiful Rachel.” Chase’s Mom said as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh thanks Sandra.” I smiled.

I looked at Chase, he still looked great. His blonde hair fell perfectly over his face, like Justin Bieber’s but way more masculine. Then his blue eyes just gleamed in the light, and I found myself getting lost. It was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. But I needed to snap out of it, I need to remember what he did to me every time I looked at him.

“She’s right, well lets go eat.” My mom smiled, and led everyone into the dining room.

“Well the place is just gorgeous.” Chase’s mom said to mine as we all sat down.

Of course Chase ended up right across from me. I just made a volcano out of my mashed potatoes and then smothered them in gravy and cranberry sauce. I looked up and saw Chase staring at me confused.

“May I be excused?” I asked, giving my mother the most pleading look I could think of.

“Dear you haven’t touched your food.”

“I’m not hungry.” I said quickly.

“Well o—“

“Thanks.” I said gratefully and rushed up to my room

I slammed the door shut behind me and leaned against it. Why was I being like this? Why did I care if Chase was here? Why did I care that I was at his house? Why did I care to look good in front of him? Could it be possible that I missed him? No! I couldn’t! He fucking cheated on me. Just like Gerard, and then it hit me, no matter how much I wanted to be with Gerard again he was no different from Chase. He cheated on me, broke my trust, and my heart.
Sure we weren’t completely in love with one another, but the feelings were so deep. It wasn’t just something that I would feel nothing about when he slept with another girl.

I was yanked out of my thoughts when I heard a knock at the door.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Rach, it’s Chase wanna let me in? I am dying from all the talk of what kind of candles your mom bought.” He said kindly.

“I guess.” I grunted.

I opened the door and let him walk in. He glanced around the room.

“You know after you move you’re supposed to unpack the boxes.” He said sarcastically.

“Well I like it like this.” I snapped back.

He walked over to the only box I had open, I guess something had caught his eye and he reached into the box and pulled something out.

“Whoa I can’t believe you still have this I woulda thought for sure you would have destroyed it.” He sounded astonished.

“What are talking you about?” I asked him walking over to the box.

“This.” He turned around and showed me the picture of him and me.

“Oh yeah…that. I was gonna throw it away once I unpacked.” I said bluntly.

“Oh really?” he smirked at me.

“Yes. I don’t need any reminds me of you around anymore.” I snapped.

“Rachel, come on, I’m trying here.” He sighed.

“What are you talking about?” I grunted I wanted him to leave. I hated what he had done to me. I hated that I felt like I missed him.

“I’m trying to put the past behind us. I was a different person last year.” He put the picture down on my desk and walked towards me.

“Oh no, don’t even start with this bullshit. I will not buy it. What you did, the way treated me was beyond unacceptable and I hate you for it.” I spilled at him, surprised I wasn’t yelling.

“Rachel, please I’m sorry. I know you miss me. I know that seeing me brought back old feelings, because seeing you did the same for me.” He said calmly, he stepped closer to me and gently brushed his hand against my face.

“Chase, I can’t trust you.” I sighed heavily.

He just looked at me for a second and then kissed me; he kissed me softly on lips. I wanted it to stop, I wanted not to like it, but I did. But I wouldn’t let myself get sucked into this again. Our lips parted and he looked at me, his eyes were filled with hope.

“Chase I….”