Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break
I Am Not Afraid to Walk This World Alone
2 reviews"“Well I am a little disappointed that you aren’t in a pile of your own vomit yet, but there is still hope.” I heard Mikey’s voice behind me;"
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A/N: Hey you guys! Sorry its been awhile, but thanks for being so patient. I hope you like this chapter! Uh yeah, R&R they make me so happy, and make me feel like my story doesn't suck! I love you all!
Chapter 22: I Am Not Afraid to Walk This World Alone
Rachel’s POV:
Ah fuck, I rolled over one the cold ground, my head was killing me. I weakly lifted myself up and looked around I had no idea where I was. But I knew, from the looks of it that I had passed out in someone’s kitchen. I tried to remember how I had gotten here, but I couldn’t. I got up, feeling the world spin; I leaned over and supported myself on the countertop. I looked around and I saw Frank passed out on the island in the center of the kitchen. I felt a bit relieved seeing a familiar face in the strange house.
“Frank, Frank.” I whispered poking his cheek.
I started laughing as I looked at his face, his mouth was wide open pressed against the countertop, and he was drooling profusely as he snored.
“Frank, come up Frank wake up!” I spoke a little louder, still nothing.
‘FRANKLIN!” I finally screamed out.
“Huh.” I heard him snort, jolting his body up out of sleep.
I watch scramble around for a second until he fell onto the floor. I roared in laughter, as he rolled on the floor grasping his head.
“Rachel I know your laugh, so I know that’s you laughing and you better stop it!” he moaned grumpily, still half asleep.
“What are you gonna do, drool all over me.” I laughed harder, noticing the puddle of drool on the island.
“IT’S A CONDITION! ITS HEREDITARY!” he yelled out in defense. I proceed to laugh harder.
I watched Frank lift himself to his feet, and I watch as he crossed towards me. I smiled just because he always made me laugh or smile, for some reason he was just really good at it.
“Yes.” I said as Frank had his finger pointed at me, right in front of my face.
“Well madam….” he trailed off. “I don’t know.” He finally said defeated.
We both busted out laughing, roaring through out the kitchen; it always seemed to happen when we were together.
“Well I am glad to see you two are up.” I saw Bob enter. “Ayy Rachel, quite the life of the party last night.” Bob winked at me as he walked two the fridge. “My boy thought you were cool, but he said you guys can help yourself to whatever he is still sleeping.” Bob smiled pulling out creamer for coffee he was about to make.
“Oh gosh party…what the fuck happened last night?” I said remembering my throbbing headache, and stomach that was turning all over.
“The only thing I am going to tell you is that ran down the road singing the Canadian national anthem.” Frank said as he started chuckling as he reached his hands out and caught a bagel Bob had thrown at him.
“Oh god.” I gasped; I felt a bright red color take over my face.
“Oh you HAVE to tell her about the table dancing.” Bob laughed.
“Oh my fucking god that was fucking hilarious!” Frank’s laughter was roaring through the house. “You got up on the kitchen table and started ‘dropping it low’ at least that’s what you called it.” Frank and Bob’s faces had turned bright red at this point from all the laughing
“Oh my fucking god, I used to run with another crowd. I have warned you all about this, and you thought I was joking.” I said shamefully. I was completely embarrassed by the whole situation but I knew none of them cared. Which is why I felt more comfortable with them than my old “popular” friends.
“Well we got round three tonight we’ll see how that goes.” Laura emerged from the front room with Mikey chuckling.
“Oh damn, I don’t know if I can do this. But whose house are we at again? I like to know where I make a fool of myself when I do.” I laughed.
“Well actually this guy is new in town, I met him the other day at the hockey rink, and he said he wanted to throw a party to get know people here. So I supplied the people.” he didn’t do a bad job either from the looks of this house there were about 50 kids here last night. “But uh his name is Chase.” Bob said.
“Wait Chase who.” I felt my stomach turn.
“Uh I think its Chase Turner.” Bob said scratching his head. “Why?” he asked
“Oh my fucking god.” my stomach had dropped. “Laura we have to go now.” I grabbed her wrist and ran outside the house to her car that was parked on the side of the road.
“Rachel what is going on!” she exclaimed as she snapped her wrist away from me.
“CHASE! Chase is my ex from back home.” I panicked trying to open the locked car. “Open the fucking door we have to get the fuck out of here before he sees me.” I was freaking out.
“This is like some straight up O.C. shit.” Laura was laughing, but she finally unlocked the door and walked slowly to the driver side.
“Hurry up!” I just wanted to leave.
“I am too fucking hung over for your fucking drama filled life. So chill your tits for five minutes please.” she started the car and drove away from the house.
“Fuck me.” was all I could say the entire car ride, but it was the perfect thing to say to me.
Gerard’s POV:
Last night was the third night in a row I think that I spent in my basement. Mikey went out with Frank, Laura, and Rachel. That’s where I really wanted to be but I knew I shouldn’t. God I felt like such a pansy ass, sulking for more than a week. But I really did miss Rachel, I just wanted her back. I got up and looked at the basement, it was a complete mess. The DVD menu for House of Wax was on the TV screen, I had fallen asleep during it last night. There were soda cans, chip bags, candy wrappers, and many more things lying on the floor. I knew if my mom saw this she would flip. But I just wanted to shut away for a little bit. I had a small urge to pick up the mess, but instead I decided to lie back down on my couch and watch House of Wax, and stay awake this time. I was hoping if my mom saw the basement she would let me do all my sulking then I’d clean it all up. I just hadn’t been myself lately, and I was just ready to be the old Gerard again.
“Well I am a little disappointed that you aren’t in a pile of your own vomit yet, but there is still hope.” I heard Mikey’s voice behind me; I looked over the couch to see him in the door way with that annoying smart ass smirk on his face. It had been glued to his face lately, and I once I was back to myself I was going to punch it right off of his face. I definitely wasn’t myself if Mikey could push me around.
“Hey Mikey. If punch you the face will you feel it?” I said apathetically as I stared at the TV screen.
“Well…..your hair is stupid…” he struggled for a comeback. I got him with that last one and I was proud. I felt a small smile creep onto my face, and I felt a little better.
But all in all I was tired of fighting with Mikey and I just wanted my brother back and my arrogant attitude. At least with my arrogance I could hide my actual feelings. It was one of the best defense mechanisms I had. I paused the movie I wasn’t really even watching and got up and turned to Mikey who was still leaning in the doorway.
“Mikey, I don’t know what I you want me to do.” I said a little frustrated. “All I can do is say I am sorry, but that still won’t change anything that has happened. I miss Rachel; I miss her with all my heat. I wish she would forgive me, I wish I could take everything back, but I can’t and it fucking sucks, and it does. But what you don’t seem to realize about all of this not matter how many times that I say it is that I actually mean it.” I finished. It felt like I had cut a hole in my stomach and pulled out everything I had been feeling the past couple of weeks and just thrown it on the floor in front of me and stomped the fuck out of it, and I felt even better.
“I don’t know, you just remind me so much of Dad, and we all know what he did to Mom, and every time you cheat on a girl I think of him and how much he hurt Mom. It just makes me feel like you don’t give two fucks about anyone but yourself.” he dragged his hands through his hair. I could see how frustrated he was, and scared that I was like our father and I was too.
“Mikey, I swear I will never end up like him. I hate what he did to our family, he ripped us apart, and I think about him everyday, and how much I hate him. I’m sorry, but I really did care for Rachel, and I fucked up and I think I am finally ready to accept the responsibility for that.” I really felt for him, and I know he was right and I couldn’t help but feel like shit for what I had done.
“Okay well, I’m tired of fighting. I’m sorry for being an ass.” he said genuinely.
“It’s cool, it’s funny though.” I laughed.
“Why is that?” Mikey asked.
“Because I’m the one usually apologizing for being an ass.” I smirked.
Mikey and I both laughed, and I felt even better. In matter of minutes I had gone from shit to almost back to myself. I pulled Mikey into a hug and we both laughed more.
“Okay let me go and let’s watch House of Wax.” He pushed me off and plopped down on the couch and started the movie over.
I sat down the couch with Mikey and stared at the screen. Yes I felt better, but I couldn’t help but think about Rachel and where she was and what she was doing.
Chapter 22: I Am Not Afraid to Walk This World Alone
Rachel’s POV:
Ah fuck, I rolled over one the cold ground, my head was killing me. I weakly lifted myself up and looked around I had no idea where I was. But I knew, from the looks of it that I had passed out in someone’s kitchen. I tried to remember how I had gotten here, but I couldn’t. I got up, feeling the world spin; I leaned over and supported myself on the countertop. I looked around and I saw Frank passed out on the island in the center of the kitchen. I felt a bit relieved seeing a familiar face in the strange house.
“Frank, Frank.” I whispered poking his cheek.
I started laughing as I looked at his face, his mouth was wide open pressed against the countertop, and he was drooling profusely as he snored.
“Frank, come up Frank wake up!” I spoke a little louder, still nothing.
‘FRANKLIN!” I finally screamed out.
“Huh.” I heard him snort, jolting his body up out of sleep.
I watch scramble around for a second until he fell onto the floor. I roared in laughter, as he rolled on the floor grasping his head.
“Rachel I know your laugh, so I know that’s you laughing and you better stop it!” he moaned grumpily, still half asleep.
“What are you gonna do, drool all over me.” I laughed harder, noticing the puddle of drool on the island.
“IT’S A CONDITION! ITS HEREDITARY!” he yelled out in defense. I proceed to laugh harder.
I watched Frank lift himself to his feet, and I watch as he crossed towards me. I smiled just because he always made me laugh or smile, for some reason he was just really good at it.
“Yes.” I said as Frank had his finger pointed at me, right in front of my face.
“Well madam….” he trailed off. “I don’t know.” He finally said defeated.
We both busted out laughing, roaring through out the kitchen; it always seemed to happen when we were together.
“Well I am glad to see you two are up.” I saw Bob enter. “Ayy Rachel, quite the life of the party last night.” Bob winked at me as he walked two the fridge. “My boy thought you were cool, but he said you guys can help yourself to whatever he is still sleeping.” Bob smiled pulling out creamer for coffee he was about to make.
“Oh gosh party…what the fuck happened last night?” I said remembering my throbbing headache, and stomach that was turning all over.
“The only thing I am going to tell you is that ran down the road singing the Canadian national anthem.” Frank said as he started chuckling as he reached his hands out and caught a bagel Bob had thrown at him.
“Oh god.” I gasped; I felt a bright red color take over my face.
“Oh you HAVE to tell her about the table dancing.” Bob laughed.
“Oh my fucking god that was fucking hilarious!” Frank’s laughter was roaring through the house. “You got up on the kitchen table and started ‘dropping it low’ at least that’s what you called it.” Frank and Bob’s faces had turned bright red at this point from all the laughing
“Oh my fucking god, I used to run with another crowd. I have warned you all about this, and you thought I was joking.” I said shamefully. I was completely embarrassed by the whole situation but I knew none of them cared. Which is why I felt more comfortable with them than my old “popular” friends.
“Well we got round three tonight we’ll see how that goes.” Laura emerged from the front room with Mikey chuckling.
“Oh damn, I don’t know if I can do this. But whose house are we at again? I like to know where I make a fool of myself when I do.” I laughed.
“Well actually this guy is new in town, I met him the other day at the hockey rink, and he said he wanted to throw a party to get know people here. So I supplied the people.” he didn’t do a bad job either from the looks of this house there were about 50 kids here last night. “But uh his name is Chase.” Bob said.
“Wait Chase who.” I felt my stomach turn.
“Uh I think its Chase Turner.” Bob said scratching his head. “Why?” he asked
“Oh my fucking god.” my stomach had dropped. “Laura we have to go now.” I grabbed her wrist and ran outside the house to her car that was parked on the side of the road.
“Rachel what is going on!” she exclaimed as she snapped her wrist away from me.
“CHASE! Chase is my ex from back home.” I panicked trying to open the locked car. “Open the fucking door we have to get the fuck out of here before he sees me.” I was freaking out.
“This is like some straight up O.C. shit.” Laura was laughing, but she finally unlocked the door and walked slowly to the driver side.
“Hurry up!” I just wanted to leave.
“I am too fucking hung over for your fucking drama filled life. So chill your tits for five minutes please.” she started the car and drove away from the house.
“Fuck me.” was all I could say the entire car ride, but it was the perfect thing to say to me.
Gerard’s POV:
Last night was the third night in a row I think that I spent in my basement. Mikey went out with Frank, Laura, and Rachel. That’s where I really wanted to be but I knew I shouldn’t. God I felt like such a pansy ass, sulking for more than a week. But I really did miss Rachel, I just wanted her back. I got up and looked at the basement, it was a complete mess. The DVD menu for House of Wax was on the TV screen, I had fallen asleep during it last night. There were soda cans, chip bags, candy wrappers, and many more things lying on the floor. I knew if my mom saw this she would flip. But I just wanted to shut away for a little bit. I had a small urge to pick up the mess, but instead I decided to lie back down on my couch and watch House of Wax, and stay awake this time. I was hoping if my mom saw the basement she would let me do all my sulking then I’d clean it all up. I just hadn’t been myself lately, and I was just ready to be the old Gerard again.
“Well I am a little disappointed that you aren’t in a pile of your own vomit yet, but there is still hope.” I heard Mikey’s voice behind me; I looked over the couch to see him in the door way with that annoying smart ass smirk on his face. It had been glued to his face lately, and I once I was back to myself I was going to punch it right off of his face. I definitely wasn’t myself if Mikey could push me around.
“Hey Mikey. If punch you the face will you feel it?” I said apathetically as I stared at the TV screen.
“Well…..your hair is stupid…” he struggled for a comeback. I got him with that last one and I was proud. I felt a small smile creep onto my face, and I felt a little better.
But all in all I was tired of fighting with Mikey and I just wanted my brother back and my arrogant attitude. At least with my arrogance I could hide my actual feelings. It was one of the best defense mechanisms I had. I paused the movie I wasn’t really even watching and got up and turned to Mikey who was still leaning in the doorway.
“Mikey, I don’t know what I you want me to do.” I said a little frustrated. “All I can do is say I am sorry, but that still won’t change anything that has happened. I miss Rachel; I miss her with all my heat. I wish she would forgive me, I wish I could take everything back, but I can’t and it fucking sucks, and it does. But what you don’t seem to realize about all of this not matter how many times that I say it is that I actually mean it.” I finished. It felt like I had cut a hole in my stomach and pulled out everything I had been feeling the past couple of weeks and just thrown it on the floor in front of me and stomped the fuck out of it, and I felt even better.
“I don’t know, you just remind me so much of Dad, and we all know what he did to Mom, and every time you cheat on a girl I think of him and how much he hurt Mom. It just makes me feel like you don’t give two fucks about anyone but yourself.” he dragged his hands through his hair. I could see how frustrated he was, and scared that I was like our father and I was too.
“Mikey, I swear I will never end up like him. I hate what he did to our family, he ripped us apart, and I think about him everyday, and how much I hate him. I’m sorry, but I really did care for Rachel, and I fucked up and I think I am finally ready to accept the responsibility for that.” I really felt for him, and I know he was right and I couldn’t help but feel like shit for what I had done.
“Okay well, I’m tired of fighting. I’m sorry for being an ass.” he said genuinely.
“It’s cool, it’s funny though.” I laughed.
“Why is that?” Mikey asked.
“Because I’m the one usually apologizing for being an ass.” I smirked.
Mikey and I both laughed, and I felt even better. In matter of minutes I had gone from shit to almost back to myself. I pulled Mikey into a hug and we both laughed more.
“Okay let me go and let’s watch House of Wax.” He pushed me off and plopped down on the couch and started the movie over.
I sat down the couch with Mikey and stared at the screen. Yes I felt better, but I couldn’t help but think about Rachel and where she was and what she was doing.
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