Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Shit, let's be Wizards
The Prince of Hope, at this moment, was not happy.
“Stupid Fef! Wwho said that yelloww’s the neww purple, anywway?” he demanded, fuming to the empty air. Kicking a rock, he stormed deeper into the meteor, cape billowing dramatically behind him.
“And noww she’s all, ‘Ooh, Sol, you’re so glubbin’ cool, wwith your stupid telekinesis, ooh, mister Captor, ooh!’” Eridan muttered, ducking under a patch of rock.
His try to win back the fish troll’s heart had gone horribly. He tried to play aloof, but he felt like he’s been kicked straight in the gills whenever he saw Sollux so much as look at her.
Entering a high-ceiling room near the bottom of the meteor, Eridan pushed his thick-rimmed hipster glasses up his nose. The room itself was full of his former doomsday devices, mostly because he couldn’t bear to part with them. With a quick glance around, he dashed to the far wall, where he was keeping his own secret.
Most of the trolls had a fascination with human things, like how Karkat was addicted to human romance novels, Gamzee’s addiction with their strange ‘carnivals’, and Kanaya’s fascination with the Rose human.
Eridan’s human fascination? Why, the books, of course!
Eridan had recently appearified a few books from Earth before it was destroyed. Quietly, though, and he made sure that it wouldn’t hurt anything. Besides, pretty much every human had a copy, anyway!
“Oh, Harry. You’re the only one wwho understands me. It’s hard, Harry human Potter! It’s hard, and nobody understands,” Eridan moped, flicking to his spot in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
“And you’re a wwizard, on top of everyfin else. But you’vve got Hermione Human Granger and Ron Human Weasley. I’vve got nobody,” Eridan whispered to his hero.
For the next half an hour, Eridan sat in silence, except for occasionally gasping along with Harry Potter’s adventures.
“It’s not fair, y’knoww, Harry. Evveryone knowws there’s no such fin as magic. Magic is for wwrigglers. There’s no magic here,” Eridan said eventually, looking around at his discarded doomsday equipment. Eridan carefully marked his page, then stood up.
“No magic, huh?” he whispered softly, eyes glowing as he looked around. Sure, he’d tried to create a couple doomsday devices, but something like this?
Rubbing his chin, Eridan surveyed the scene, combining broken doomsday devices in different ways.
A fandom jump? Could such a thing be possible? Could he really send himself to Harry Potter’s world, and to Hogwarts?
Well, if he combined the Laser ray of Death with the Decimibrator over there...
It could work, if he worked really hard around the clock. Like that would be an issue. He had nobody in his quadrants to look after, so he had the time.
But why should he stop there, with himself?
He could send everyone to Harry Potter World! Then he’d be on top, and they’d all have to answer to him! Feferi would have no choice but to come crawling back!
“Aha! Wwith my superior knowwledge of wwizardry and magic, I’d be a true master! I’d be covvered in bitches!” Eridan announced, his voice bouncing off the walls.
Of course, he couldn’t tell anybody about this. The only person who’d be interested in helping would probably be Vvris, but he didn’t need that kind of abuse.
“You’ll see, Fef! This time, I’ll make you mine!” Eridan said, turning flamboyantly on his heel and trying to find something to draw out his plans with.
“Stupid Fef! Wwho said that yelloww’s the neww purple, anywway?” he demanded, fuming to the empty air. Kicking a rock, he stormed deeper into the meteor, cape billowing dramatically behind him.
“And noww she’s all, ‘Ooh, Sol, you’re so glubbin’ cool, wwith your stupid telekinesis, ooh, mister Captor, ooh!’” Eridan muttered, ducking under a patch of rock.
His try to win back the fish troll’s heart had gone horribly. He tried to play aloof, but he felt like he’s been kicked straight in the gills whenever he saw Sollux so much as look at her.
Entering a high-ceiling room near the bottom of the meteor, Eridan pushed his thick-rimmed hipster glasses up his nose. The room itself was full of his former doomsday devices, mostly because he couldn’t bear to part with them. With a quick glance around, he dashed to the far wall, where he was keeping his own secret.
Most of the trolls had a fascination with human things, like how Karkat was addicted to human romance novels, Gamzee’s addiction with their strange ‘carnivals’, and Kanaya’s fascination with the Rose human.
Eridan’s human fascination? Why, the books, of course!
Eridan had recently appearified a few books from Earth before it was destroyed. Quietly, though, and he made sure that it wouldn’t hurt anything. Besides, pretty much every human had a copy, anyway!
“Oh, Harry. You’re the only one wwho understands me. It’s hard, Harry human Potter! It’s hard, and nobody understands,” Eridan moped, flicking to his spot in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
“And you’re a wwizard, on top of everyfin else. But you’vve got Hermione Human Granger and Ron Human Weasley. I’vve got nobody,” Eridan whispered to his hero.
For the next half an hour, Eridan sat in silence, except for occasionally gasping along with Harry Potter’s adventures.
“It’s not fair, y’knoww, Harry. Evveryone knowws there’s no such fin as magic. Magic is for wwrigglers. There’s no magic here,” Eridan said eventually, looking around at his discarded doomsday equipment. Eridan carefully marked his page, then stood up.
“No magic, huh?” he whispered softly, eyes glowing as he looked around. Sure, he’d tried to create a couple doomsday devices, but something like this?
Rubbing his chin, Eridan surveyed the scene, combining broken doomsday devices in different ways.
A fandom jump? Could such a thing be possible? Could he really send himself to Harry Potter’s world, and to Hogwarts?
Well, if he combined the Laser ray of Death with the Decimibrator over there...
It could work, if he worked really hard around the clock. Like that would be an issue. He had nobody in his quadrants to look after, so he had the time.
But why should he stop there, with himself?
He could send everyone to Harry Potter World! Then he’d be on top, and they’d all have to answer to him! Feferi would have no choice but to come crawling back!
“Aha! Wwith my superior knowwledge of wwizardry and magic, I’d be a true master! I’d be covvered in bitches!” Eridan announced, his voice bouncing off the walls.
Of course, he couldn’t tell anybody about this. The only person who’d be interested in helping would probably be Vvris, but he didn’t need that kind of abuse.
“You’ll see, Fef! This time, I’ll make you mine!” Eridan said, turning flamboyantly on his heel and trying to find something to draw out his plans with.
Sign up to rate and review this story