Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Otherworldly
Chapter 1
Pulling myself out of the pool wasn’t easy, considering I’m not exactly strong or have muscles—I’m still sexy as fuck though. The male just stood there with a stupid grin on his face. Yeah, go ahead, big shot, smile. I’ll exact my revenge. Even so, I wanted to punch him! How dare he push me into the pool? I should throw him in the fucking pool!
Once I was out, I crossed my arms, my wet hair matting against my forehead and eyes, “So who are you anyway?” I growled. If I was going to hate the guy, I might as well know his name, right? Or at least learn his name so I could find out more about him. I’d been known for being good at stalking. And god dammit, no one lands in my fucking pool with no idea what they’re doing there! If you’re in my backyard, I will fuck you up.
“My name is Brenjokipolodon. I am from the planet Yutico. I am the son of the king,” he bowed to me. So he was insane. Cool. And he thought he was from some other planet. Awesome, that’s just perfect. Of course I’d have a psycho land in my backyard.
And then I thought about his name. Bren… what? Yeah, I so didn’t catch that. I nodded so very slowly, “Okay, Bren…” I paused, “don. I’m gonna call you Brendon. Is that okay with you?”
He looked completely appalled, “But my name is Brenjokipolodon. I am from the planet Yutico!” yeah, I got that, fucktard.
“Sure. Yeah, I’m calling you Brendon. I’m not the only one who won’t be able to pronounce that,” I pushed the wet hair out of my face and sat down. I was considering my options. I could ask him what his purpose was in my backyard, which could end up making him sound more crazy. I could ask why he came to earth, which would make me also crazy. Or I could just tell him to get the fuck out. The latter seemed like it’d be the easiest. But instead of going with my gut, I stupidly asked, “What are you doing in my backyard?”
He looked at me as if I just asked him where the sky was. That bastard, I’m not fucking stupid. I graduated high school with a 5.0. So fuck you. He blinked a few times, “Like I said before, it wasn’t my intention to come to Earth. So I don’t know. If I knew, I’d have an answer.”
Ugh, so he was useless to me. I couldn’t use him. I put my sunglasses on and lay back, “Get out of here, you useless freak,” I muttered with a wave of my hand.
There was a long pause and I almost thought he’d left. I was content. He was gone and I was back to sunbathing happily, despite being really wet. He spoke though and I jumped, “My ship is broken. I can’t go anywhere until it’s fixed.”
I opened my eyes and slowly sat up, pulling my sunglasses down, looking at him. He was kidding, right? He had to be kidding. This was all a huge joke. He was going to yell ‘YOU’VE BEEN PUNK’D!’ at any second. I just stared at him for a while before I realized that he was serious. That wasn’t going to happen. Well, fuck. I shook my head, “Yeah, you’re an alien. Don’t you have super powers or something? Like teleporting? Can’t you teleport this stupid ship of yours somewhere else?”
He was quiet for a while, once again staring at me like I’d asked what 2+2 was before he laughed, “I may be extra terrestrial, but I have as many super powers as you do. Are you able to teleport?” he was mocking me now. I just glared at him. He grinned, “You humans think that aliens are magical and evil. But most of us aren’t. Most of us just talk about how stupid all of you are. We look like you guys, we’re just slightly more perfected.”
“Excuse me?” I stood up, getting right in his face, “More perfected? I am fucking sexy as fuck. You’re not sexier than me.”
“Oh, but that’s the thing. I am. I can bet you that if we go to a bar… Is that what you call them? I will get more men and women than you will,” he seemed so smug. I wanted to slap that stupid smugness out of him. That wouldn’t happen. I was so fucking sexy and everyone knew it.
So I grinned, “Okay, fine, I’ll take you up on that. We’ll see how’s more attractive,” I crossed my arms. He was going to go down. No one could resist my charms. I’d get my way and he’d have to go back to his planet in defeat! Because no one tells me I’m not sexy and gets away with it, dammit!
“Although I will admit you are attractive when you’re angry. I think…” he paused, “cute is the word I’m going for. You’re very cute when you’re angry,” he patted my head. I growled and he laughed, “Really cute,” I slapped his hand away from my head and glared at him. He simply grinned. I hated him, I really hated him. I was not fucking cute! I was sexy as fuck.
So that night, I had showered and put on my best outfit, the one I always got action in. He didn’t change. Hah, I was so going to win this. No one could win wearing jeans and a tshirt. This contest was mine.
We got there and sat down at the bar. I ordered a drink and started eyefucking some other guy who was grinning at me. After a few minutes, he came over. I was about to talk to him, but he went over to Brendon, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Hey there.”
He looked at him and winked, “Hey.”
“What? No! You were eye flirting with me,” I growled at the male that had gone up to Brendon.
He looked at me and raised an eyebrow, “Sorry, but between you and this…” he looked at Brendon with a grin, “sex god,” he then looked at me with a somewhat disgusted smirk, “I’m gonna go with the sex god. Sorry,” he then went back to flirting with Brendon.
Okay, I wasn’t going to let me get that down. Even though it was Brendon-1, me-0. That was okay. Really. I’d get someone to prove that Brendon was not more attractive than me. Slowly the night progressed. By the time the bar was about to close, the score was Brendon-9, me-3. And the only reason those three came up to me was because they were drunk as fuck and they thought I was sexy through their beer goggles.
But I am sexy… I… I always get guys and girls… What was wrong with me tonight? Why did no one want me? Was I not as attractive as everyone had told me I was? But I am… I am sexy… Right? After Brendon had hit 10, I just gave up. I rested my head on the bar and sighed. Maybe he was right… Maybe I was disgusting. Maybe the only reason anyone ever came up to me was because I was the only slightly attractive person in the bar.
When we were kicked out, I shoved my hands into my back pockets and started walking to the car. He followed me, “Hey, hey, don’t be sad,” he placed his hand on my shoulder. I pushed it off and got into the car. He got in the other side, “Hey, you’re not ugly. You’re really not, I promise.”
I laughed humorlessly, “You know, your attempt to cheer me up is failing miserably, since you know, you called me disgusting the second you met me,” I muttered and started up the car. I wanted him gone, I wanted him out of my life. He shouldn’t be here in the first place. Why didn’t he crash land in someone else’s pool? Why mine?
“I was simply confused by the pallor of your skin. That is all. Some people find that attractive. I do, for instance. I was just asking if that was normal for the people of your planet. In my planet, pallor is disgusting. I never thought so. But I thought it might be here. I do not know your planet. Also, being told that you’re attractive by an alien probably isn’t what you want, but I figured it might help…”
I took a deep breath and shook my head. I didn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say to that? An alien found me attractive, cool. So I was sexy… to aliens. Awesome. Yeah, I could really get an award for that.
We were almost home when he placed his hand on mine while on the steering wheel, “One night shouldn’t make you doubt yourself. I don’t know anything about you or your habits. So who am I to belittle you?” I still didn’t answer, “Pull over,” I didn’t, “Pull over the car before I force you to pull over,” his growl was sexier than any normal guy I’d ever met.
Then again, he is an alien, so… I sighed and pulled over, putting it in my park. I slowly looked over at him and he spoke, “I can read your thoughts on your face and your stature. Stop being depressed that I won this contest. Maybe it was just an off night for you. You shouldn’t get upset about it. Well, okay you can be upset, but not this upset. It isn’t healthy. You are sexy, you are very attractive. I’m sure there were a lot of men and women in there that were just too intimidated to go up to you. Maybe they went up to me because I’m not as attractive as you are.”
I blinked a few times. Yeah right. No one’s ever been too scared to go up to me before. I looked back at the road in front of us before I shook my head, “It’s because you’re more attractive than me. I’ve been living in the clouds because I get laid every night. I get more action than an action figure. And last night, I got nothing… I guess… I guess I needed to be brought down to earth…” I muttered, putting the car back in drive. I drove off, refusing to look at him.
“Would you like me to show you how sexy you are?” he asked in an innocent tone. But no word of that could have been that pure, that innocent. That wasn’t possible. I slowly looked over at him and he was smiling.
“I really don’t think you meant that the way it came out.”
“Oh, no, I did. I did mean it that way. You didn’t get any tonight. So I’ll give it to you. That is, if you’ll have me. I don’t know. You don’t seem too fond of me. And I’d like to experience human sex for myself. I don’t know if you do it the same way we do.”
I felt really awkward now. True, he was attractive, but this was… He’s an ALIEN, for fuck’s sake! Plus, I wasn’t feeling too sexy right now, so I don’t think I could get in the mood, even if I tried. I hesitated, “No, not tonight… Or ever, actually. I mean, yeah, you’re… attractive, but I’m really… not in the mood…”
“I could put you in the mood,” he spoke with a sweet smile. Oh dear god. How was he doing this to me? I squirmed a little in the seat and I gasped when I felt his hand on my thigh. Okay, so maybe he could put me in the mood. I didn’t think he’d move it, so I could focus on the road. But he moved his hand over to my crotch and I gasped, my face turning bright red. Shit, no, not while I’m driving! I felt his hand rubbing it and my hands tightened on the wheel.
“Stop,” I squeaked, “Please, not while I’m—” I gasped when he hit a certain spot and he kept going at that spot. I squirmed in my seat. Shit, shit, shit! He kept going and I couldn’t really control the car anymore. I saw the car moving toward the other lane where another car was speeding. I grabbed the wheel to try and swerve back into my own lane, but my swerving failed as I was so obviously distracted. I crashed head-first into the other car. I don’t really remember what happened after that…
---
A/N: So this story is on the back burner, but I will update it once a week or when I get five reviews. The former seems more likely, but that's okay. As long as I have a few people who are enjoying it, I'm happy I guess. I hope you enjoyed! Five reviews or a week equals an update. :)
A/N 2: Changing it to three reviews because five is a little overkill.
Pulling myself out of the pool wasn’t easy, considering I’m not exactly strong or have muscles—I’m still sexy as fuck though. The male just stood there with a stupid grin on his face. Yeah, go ahead, big shot, smile. I’ll exact my revenge. Even so, I wanted to punch him! How dare he push me into the pool? I should throw him in the fucking pool!
Once I was out, I crossed my arms, my wet hair matting against my forehead and eyes, “So who are you anyway?” I growled. If I was going to hate the guy, I might as well know his name, right? Or at least learn his name so I could find out more about him. I’d been known for being good at stalking. And god dammit, no one lands in my fucking pool with no idea what they’re doing there! If you’re in my backyard, I will fuck you up.
“My name is Brenjokipolodon. I am from the planet Yutico. I am the son of the king,” he bowed to me. So he was insane. Cool. And he thought he was from some other planet. Awesome, that’s just perfect. Of course I’d have a psycho land in my backyard.
And then I thought about his name. Bren… what? Yeah, I so didn’t catch that. I nodded so very slowly, “Okay, Bren…” I paused, “don. I’m gonna call you Brendon. Is that okay with you?”
He looked completely appalled, “But my name is Brenjokipolodon. I am from the planet Yutico!” yeah, I got that, fucktard.
“Sure. Yeah, I’m calling you Brendon. I’m not the only one who won’t be able to pronounce that,” I pushed the wet hair out of my face and sat down. I was considering my options. I could ask him what his purpose was in my backyard, which could end up making him sound more crazy. I could ask why he came to earth, which would make me also crazy. Or I could just tell him to get the fuck out. The latter seemed like it’d be the easiest. But instead of going with my gut, I stupidly asked, “What are you doing in my backyard?”
He looked at me as if I just asked him where the sky was. That bastard, I’m not fucking stupid. I graduated high school with a 5.0. So fuck you. He blinked a few times, “Like I said before, it wasn’t my intention to come to Earth. So I don’t know. If I knew, I’d have an answer.”
Ugh, so he was useless to me. I couldn’t use him. I put my sunglasses on and lay back, “Get out of here, you useless freak,” I muttered with a wave of my hand.
There was a long pause and I almost thought he’d left. I was content. He was gone and I was back to sunbathing happily, despite being really wet. He spoke though and I jumped, “My ship is broken. I can’t go anywhere until it’s fixed.”
I opened my eyes and slowly sat up, pulling my sunglasses down, looking at him. He was kidding, right? He had to be kidding. This was all a huge joke. He was going to yell ‘YOU’VE BEEN PUNK’D!’ at any second. I just stared at him for a while before I realized that he was serious. That wasn’t going to happen. Well, fuck. I shook my head, “Yeah, you’re an alien. Don’t you have super powers or something? Like teleporting? Can’t you teleport this stupid ship of yours somewhere else?”
He was quiet for a while, once again staring at me like I’d asked what 2+2 was before he laughed, “I may be extra terrestrial, but I have as many super powers as you do. Are you able to teleport?” he was mocking me now. I just glared at him. He grinned, “You humans think that aliens are magical and evil. But most of us aren’t. Most of us just talk about how stupid all of you are. We look like you guys, we’re just slightly more perfected.”
“Excuse me?” I stood up, getting right in his face, “More perfected? I am fucking sexy as fuck. You’re not sexier than me.”
“Oh, but that’s the thing. I am. I can bet you that if we go to a bar… Is that what you call them? I will get more men and women than you will,” he seemed so smug. I wanted to slap that stupid smugness out of him. That wouldn’t happen. I was so fucking sexy and everyone knew it.
So I grinned, “Okay, fine, I’ll take you up on that. We’ll see how’s more attractive,” I crossed my arms. He was going to go down. No one could resist my charms. I’d get my way and he’d have to go back to his planet in defeat! Because no one tells me I’m not sexy and gets away with it, dammit!
“Although I will admit you are attractive when you’re angry. I think…” he paused, “cute is the word I’m going for. You’re very cute when you’re angry,” he patted my head. I growled and he laughed, “Really cute,” I slapped his hand away from my head and glared at him. He simply grinned. I hated him, I really hated him. I was not fucking cute! I was sexy as fuck.
So that night, I had showered and put on my best outfit, the one I always got action in. He didn’t change. Hah, I was so going to win this. No one could win wearing jeans and a tshirt. This contest was mine.
We got there and sat down at the bar. I ordered a drink and started eyefucking some other guy who was grinning at me. After a few minutes, he came over. I was about to talk to him, but he went over to Brendon, placing a hand on his shoulder, “Hey there.”
He looked at him and winked, “Hey.”
“What? No! You were eye flirting with me,” I growled at the male that had gone up to Brendon.
He looked at me and raised an eyebrow, “Sorry, but between you and this…” he looked at Brendon with a grin, “sex god,” he then looked at me with a somewhat disgusted smirk, “I’m gonna go with the sex god. Sorry,” he then went back to flirting with Brendon.
Okay, I wasn’t going to let me get that down. Even though it was Brendon-1, me-0. That was okay. Really. I’d get someone to prove that Brendon was not more attractive than me. Slowly the night progressed. By the time the bar was about to close, the score was Brendon-9, me-3. And the only reason those three came up to me was because they were drunk as fuck and they thought I was sexy through their beer goggles.
But I am sexy… I… I always get guys and girls… What was wrong with me tonight? Why did no one want me? Was I not as attractive as everyone had told me I was? But I am… I am sexy… Right? After Brendon had hit 10, I just gave up. I rested my head on the bar and sighed. Maybe he was right… Maybe I was disgusting. Maybe the only reason anyone ever came up to me was because I was the only slightly attractive person in the bar.
When we were kicked out, I shoved my hands into my back pockets and started walking to the car. He followed me, “Hey, hey, don’t be sad,” he placed his hand on my shoulder. I pushed it off and got into the car. He got in the other side, “Hey, you’re not ugly. You’re really not, I promise.”
I laughed humorlessly, “You know, your attempt to cheer me up is failing miserably, since you know, you called me disgusting the second you met me,” I muttered and started up the car. I wanted him gone, I wanted him out of my life. He shouldn’t be here in the first place. Why didn’t he crash land in someone else’s pool? Why mine?
“I was simply confused by the pallor of your skin. That is all. Some people find that attractive. I do, for instance. I was just asking if that was normal for the people of your planet. In my planet, pallor is disgusting. I never thought so. But I thought it might be here. I do not know your planet. Also, being told that you’re attractive by an alien probably isn’t what you want, but I figured it might help…”
I took a deep breath and shook my head. I didn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say to that? An alien found me attractive, cool. So I was sexy… to aliens. Awesome. Yeah, I could really get an award for that.
We were almost home when he placed his hand on mine while on the steering wheel, “One night shouldn’t make you doubt yourself. I don’t know anything about you or your habits. So who am I to belittle you?” I still didn’t answer, “Pull over,” I didn’t, “Pull over the car before I force you to pull over,” his growl was sexier than any normal guy I’d ever met.
Then again, he is an alien, so… I sighed and pulled over, putting it in my park. I slowly looked over at him and he spoke, “I can read your thoughts on your face and your stature. Stop being depressed that I won this contest. Maybe it was just an off night for you. You shouldn’t get upset about it. Well, okay you can be upset, but not this upset. It isn’t healthy. You are sexy, you are very attractive. I’m sure there were a lot of men and women in there that were just too intimidated to go up to you. Maybe they went up to me because I’m not as attractive as you are.”
I blinked a few times. Yeah right. No one’s ever been too scared to go up to me before. I looked back at the road in front of us before I shook my head, “It’s because you’re more attractive than me. I’ve been living in the clouds because I get laid every night. I get more action than an action figure. And last night, I got nothing… I guess… I guess I needed to be brought down to earth…” I muttered, putting the car back in drive. I drove off, refusing to look at him.
“Would you like me to show you how sexy you are?” he asked in an innocent tone. But no word of that could have been that pure, that innocent. That wasn’t possible. I slowly looked over at him and he was smiling.
“I really don’t think you meant that the way it came out.”
“Oh, no, I did. I did mean it that way. You didn’t get any tonight. So I’ll give it to you. That is, if you’ll have me. I don’t know. You don’t seem too fond of me. And I’d like to experience human sex for myself. I don’t know if you do it the same way we do.”
I felt really awkward now. True, he was attractive, but this was… He’s an ALIEN, for fuck’s sake! Plus, I wasn’t feeling too sexy right now, so I don’t think I could get in the mood, even if I tried. I hesitated, “No, not tonight… Or ever, actually. I mean, yeah, you’re… attractive, but I’m really… not in the mood…”
“I could put you in the mood,” he spoke with a sweet smile. Oh dear god. How was he doing this to me? I squirmed a little in the seat and I gasped when I felt his hand on my thigh. Okay, so maybe he could put me in the mood. I didn’t think he’d move it, so I could focus on the road. But he moved his hand over to my crotch and I gasped, my face turning bright red. Shit, no, not while I’m driving! I felt his hand rubbing it and my hands tightened on the wheel.
“Stop,” I squeaked, “Please, not while I’m—” I gasped when he hit a certain spot and he kept going at that spot. I squirmed in my seat. Shit, shit, shit! He kept going and I couldn’t really control the car anymore. I saw the car moving toward the other lane where another car was speeding. I grabbed the wheel to try and swerve back into my own lane, but my swerving failed as I was so obviously distracted. I crashed head-first into the other car. I don’t really remember what happened after that…
---
A/N: So this story is on the back burner, but I will update it once a week or when I get five reviews. The former seems more likely, but that's okay. As long as I have a few people who are enjoying it, I'm happy I guess. I hope you enjoyed! Five reviews or a week equals an update. :)
A/N 2: Changing it to three reviews because five is a little overkill.
Sign up to rate and review this story