Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Things Have Changed

The Love That Never Was

by thegenuinenicekid 0 reviews

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2012-07-26 - Updated: 2012-07-26 - 490 words

It just wasn't the same
Killing two birds with one stone, hoping the both die, but pretty much only one does.
I'm really not sure what to do now, since I'm screwed.
Whether or not the past inflicts pain in the future, it still happened, and you can never change that. No matter how hard you try to conquer the pain, it's still living in you. In the depths of your heart.
Memories are easy to remember, but sadly we can't choose which ones we keep. We just remember things, big or small.
Your first kiss, your first relationship,breakup, the list goes on and on. 
My point is, the past will come back and bite you in the ass later.

I dream that night of Ryan and I as teenagers.
The crying, the pain, the long summer nights, the touching, the occasional kiss.
Tears so salty, he felt as if he were in the ocean.
Ryan was like a deer. 
Gentle,frigid, and scared.
His deep brown eyes tell the story of his past life.
Here's a kid, with a sad story that nobody understand, yet they judge him.
"he's too skinny"
He was made like that, he can't help if he is.
If he was fat, he would be judged on being fat.
No body is perfect.
You might know his name, but not his story.

Swimming to the horizon.
10,000 leagues under the sea. 
There is always the depression that always was and still is.
You can't escape pain.
It feeds inside you. Every fucking day.

Meeting the person of your dream is the best feeling ever.
The worst thing is that I have two people of my dreams.
Choosing between them is like asking a parent which kid is their favorite.
The answer is always "I love them all equally" 
Exactly how I feel.
Sure, I'm "cheating" but you have to explore your options in life.

Those deep blue eyes have a story I have yet to find out.
Intimacy is different when you don't know someone's story.
It's like saying you like a book without reading it. Understanding it.
The feelings of love flow through me like a bad batch of sushi.
I'm a lover they say.
But I always come off as an asshole to those I try to show love for.
I don't choose to be that way, it just who I am.

Dreams are a crazy thing, eh? 
They make you realize your dreams in life.
All of my dreams are eyes shaded brown, not blue.
So for that reason, I'm not choosing you.

I stare at Sarah as she sleeps. 
I weep for the morning when I tell her I'm I love someone else.
Saying that I loved her was never a lie.
It's hard to explain.
But in reality, Ryan was always my first love.
I want him to be my love for the rest of my life.
I love him.
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