Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Christian's Pregnancy Diary And Such
Hi guys, so since Christian can't really keep up on this I'll be doing most of her diaries.
Sorry it's taking so long. Christian and I have been so busy lately. Doctor's appointments, shopping, getting supplement pills. The usual pregnancy stuff. We're trying to be on more and more but things are hard, I only get on twitter and she doesn't even do anything, she mostly sits in her room crying. Not sure if it's happy crying or sad crying but still crying. She's been an emotional wreck the past few days. Hormones I guess but still, it's hard seeing her like this knowing there's nothing I can do. I feel so bad I can't do anything for her. I've been up with her almost every morning while she pukes up everything in her stomach and she won't eat because she hates all of the puking and I told her if she doesn't eat something she'll lose the baby and she like shoved 3 twinkies down her throat. Oh yeah me and her boyfriend moved into her house. He's going to be living there until he's 18, which is only 2 more years, then he's going to find an apartment for them. I'm just staying until the babies born and then I'm moving back home. I'll probably stay a little longer but I don't want to impose on them or anything. Still, anyways, really terrible seeing her like this. Sorry if this is kind of cut up but I can't really think straight tonight. Besides all of that some bad stuff has been happening with the baby. Christian's been waking up a lot of nights because of really bad pains in her stomach. We went to the doctor and they said it was nothing but to be extremely careful and now she's afraid to fall asleep. She finally JUST fell asleep after 4 days of being completely awake like 5 minutes ago. It's terrible watching her sleep, even just listening to it. She twists and turns and cries and whimpers and it's just terrible. She's always grabbing at her stomach, it's absolutely horrifying. She looks like hell too. Her hair is always a mess, even though it's short, her eyes have bags under them, and she's getting skinnier rather than bigger. It's terrifying, nobody knows why. She's been eating right and there's nothing that could be triggering this. We're making her eat 3x as much as she needs to just to keep her strength up. Have you seen the new twilight movie? (Don't ask, my friends dragged me to it.) She kind of looks like Bella except without the enormous belly. It's scary and honestly I can't even be around her or look at her because it hurts me so much to look at her like that and know that I can't do a fucking thing about it. You wanna know the worst part? I found razors under her bed. I was sitting in her room while she was changing and I saw marks on her leg, and when I asked her about them she said the neighbors cat did it. Which scares me because the cat's ALWAYS outside if it was the cat she could get/have a disease from it but if she did cut herself the I don't know what I'm going to do. Nobody even tries to talk to me anymore or ask how I feel about this whole situation. They come up to me "How's Christian? How's she feeling?" Which is totally fine but do you wanna know how I feel about this? I feel completely helpless because there's nothing I can do for her but sit back and watch her fall. I feel like absolute shit because for once in my life I can't be there for her. I'm no where prepared for this kind of situation. My best friend is pregnant and sick and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it and I feel like shit. I hate this so much. I'm trying to be strong for Christian, I really am. But I can't handle this anymore, I can't stand seeing her like this anymore. Hopefully she'll get better soon. Sorry for my ranting.
~Cameron or xxPanicFanxx
Sorry it's taking so long. Christian and I have been so busy lately. Doctor's appointments, shopping, getting supplement pills. The usual pregnancy stuff. We're trying to be on more and more but things are hard, I only get on twitter and she doesn't even do anything, she mostly sits in her room crying. Not sure if it's happy crying or sad crying but still crying. She's been an emotional wreck the past few days. Hormones I guess but still, it's hard seeing her like this knowing there's nothing I can do. I feel so bad I can't do anything for her. I've been up with her almost every morning while she pukes up everything in her stomach and she won't eat because she hates all of the puking and I told her if she doesn't eat something she'll lose the baby and she like shoved 3 twinkies down her throat. Oh yeah me and her boyfriend moved into her house. He's going to be living there until he's 18, which is only 2 more years, then he's going to find an apartment for them. I'm just staying until the babies born and then I'm moving back home. I'll probably stay a little longer but I don't want to impose on them or anything. Still, anyways, really terrible seeing her like this. Sorry if this is kind of cut up but I can't really think straight tonight. Besides all of that some bad stuff has been happening with the baby. Christian's been waking up a lot of nights because of really bad pains in her stomach. We went to the doctor and they said it was nothing but to be extremely careful and now she's afraid to fall asleep. She finally JUST fell asleep after 4 days of being completely awake like 5 minutes ago. It's terrible watching her sleep, even just listening to it. She twists and turns and cries and whimpers and it's just terrible. She's always grabbing at her stomach, it's absolutely horrifying. She looks like hell too. Her hair is always a mess, even though it's short, her eyes have bags under them, and she's getting skinnier rather than bigger. It's terrifying, nobody knows why. She's been eating right and there's nothing that could be triggering this. We're making her eat 3x as much as she needs to just to keep her strength up. Have you seen the new twilight movie? (Don't ask, my friends dragged me to it.) She kind of looks like Bella except without the enormous belly. It's scary and honestly I can't even be around her or look at her because it hurts me so much to look at her like that and know that I can't do a fucking thing about it. You wanna know the worst part? I found razors under her bed. I was sitting in her room while she was changing and I saw marks on her leg, and when I asked her about them she said the neighbors cat did it. Which scares me because the cat's ALWAYS outside if it was the cat she could get/have a disease from it but if she did cut herself the I don't know what I'm going to do. Nobody even tries to talk to me anymore or ask how I feel about this whole situation. They come up to me "How's Christian? How's she feeling?" Which is totally fine but do you wanna know how I feel about this? I feel completely helpless because there's nothing I can do for her but sit back and watch her fall. I feel like absolute shit because for once in my life I can't be there for her. I'm no where prepared for this kind of situation. My best friend is pregnant and sick and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it and I feel like shit. I hate this so much. I'm trying to be strong for Christian, I really am. But I can't handle this anymore, I can't stand seeing her like this anymore. Hopefully she'll get better soon. Sorry for my ranting.
~Cameron or xxPanicFanxx
Sign up to rate and review this story