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Sasuke's Three Horrors

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT MY ORIGINAL CHARACTERS AND THE PLOT!!



It was a typical night outside, a full moon high in the sky, shining its red color upon a mostly sleepy Konoha. I say mostly sleepy because Emo-que- I mean, Sasuke was having trouble sleeping, tossing and turning in his sleep. He decided to walk to the training grounds and enjoy the night. As he passed the Shinobi Academy on his way, he saw a 2nd floor classroom light on, shining through aslightly askew window. Deciding to investigate, he walked inside, climbed up the stairs, and opened the door, just enough to see through.

To his utter surprise, shock, horror, (delight for those who normally question his sexual preferences (he is straight in this, it wouldn't be as funny otherwise))whatever you prefer, he saw 10 people in the room: Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Narrator, Kiba, Shino, Choji, Lee, Neji, and (surprisingly) Sai. Just having these people in the room wasn't what scared him though. No, what scared him was the fact that all of the boys were in cheerleader outfits, pom-poms and ponytails(extensions added). On the girls side was a High Definition Video Camera manned by Sakura, Hinata acting as Boom operator, and Ino sitting in a director's chair with a stereo at her feet, playing a rather... interesting choice of music... with the boys singing (and dancing!) along, Naruto as lead:

"Oh, Sasuke, you're so fine

You're so fine you blow my mind

Hey, Sasu

Hey, Sasu



Oh, Sasuke, you're so fine

You're so fine you blow my mind

Hey, Sasu

Hey, Sasu



Oh, Sasuke, you're so fine

You're so fine you blow my mind

Hey, Sasuke



Hey, Sasuke

You've been around all night

And that's a little long

You think you've got the right

But I think you've got it wrong

Why can't you say goodnight

So you can take me home, Sasuke



'Cause when you say you will

It always means you won't

You're givin' me the chills, baby

Please, baby don't

Every night you still leave me alone, Sasuke



Oh, Sasuke, what a pity

You don't understand

You take me by the heart

When you take me by the hand

Oh, Sasuke, you're so pretty

Can't you understand?

It's guys like you, Sasuke

Oh, what you do, Sasu, do, Sasu

Don't break my heart, Sasuke



Hey, Sasuke



Now when you take me by the hooves

Who's ever gonna know

And every time you move

I let a little more show

There's something you can use

So don't say no, Sasuke



So come on and give it to me anyway you can

Anyway you want to do it

I'll take it like a man

Oh, please baby, please

Don't leave me in the damn, Sasuke



Oh, Sasuke, what a pity

You don't understand

You take me by the heart

When you take me by the hand

Oh, Sasuke, you're so pretty

Can't you understand?

It's guys like you, Sasuke

Oh, what you do, Sasu, do, Sasu

Don't break my heart, Sasuke



Oh, Sasuke, you're so fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind

Hey, Sasuke,

hey, Sasuke

Oh, Sasuke, you're so fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind

Hey, Sasuke,

Hey, Sasuke,

Oh, Sasuke, you're so fine

You're so fine, you blow my mind

Hey, Sasuke



Oh, Sasuke, what a pity

You don't understand

You take me by the heart

When you take me by the hand

Oh, Sasuke, you're so pretty

Can't you understand?

It's guys like you, Sasuke

Oh, what you do, Sasu, do, Sasu

Don't break my heart, Sasuke



Oh, Sasuke, what a pity

You don't understand

You take me by the heart

When you take me by the hand

Oh, Sasuke, you're so pretty

Can't you understand?

It's guys like you, Sasuke

Oh, what you do, Sasu, do, Sasu

Don't break my heart, Sasuke



Oh, Sasuke, what a pity

You don't understand

You take me by the heart

When you take me by the hand

Oh, Sasuke, you're so pretty

Can't you understand?

It's guys like you, Sasuke

Oh, what you do, Sasu, do, Sasu

Don't break my heart, Sasuke" -

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"Sasu-gay screamed as he snapped open his eyes and shot forward from his sleeping position on the bed. "A nightmare" he gasped, "it was all just anightmare. Thank Kami-sama."

Sasuke went back into a supine position, getting ready for another attempt for the much sought-after REM sleep. His concentration was broken, however when a rustling noise was heard from the closet facing his bed. He turned away, pretending as if he didn't hear it. Another noise was heard from the same source, the sound akin to someone licking their lips. Curiosity intrigued (and a little creeped out), he got out of bed, turned on the lights (so he can see! Not all ninja have night-vision!), walked over to the closet, and flung it open, revealing nothing but darkness. Weird, since the rest of the room had plenty of light. Shrugging, Sasuke was about to close the door, when a very long, Gene Simmons-like tongue sailed out of the darkness wand wrapped itself around his wrist before dragging him into the closet. The door closed ominously by itself, a somewhat perverted chuckle coming out of the storage room, "kukukukuku..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"Sasu-gay screamed as he snapped open his eyes and shot forward from his sleeping position on the bed. "Another nightmare" he gasped, "that glass of milk I had before bed didn't help at all."

He once again prepared to go back to sleep, eyes closed and breathing steady, until he sensed a presence underneath his bed. His eyes opened slowly, turning towards the edge of the bed, only to see none-other-than Itachi head slowly creeping out of the bed's underside.

"Hello... Little Brother... I've been watching you... from afar... you have been a bad boy... bad boys need to be punished..." With that, Itachi glided out from the bed underside to reveal him wearing a rubber BDSM suit, holding a whip in one hand and red fuzzy handcuffs in the other. (queue Rihanna's "S&M")

Suffice it to say that Sasuke was hiding under his bed covers, cowering and shaking in fear, repeating the same mantra over and over again, "it's just a dream, it's just adream, it's only just a dream."

Itachi, holding adevious grin on his face, turned toward a very well hidden camera and winked. Turning back to Sasuke's direction, he said "this is not a dream Sasuke. It is, in fact, very real. THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR EATING MY ENTIRE POCKY STOCK, BITCH!" A couple swats were heard from the street, as we- "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"- uh, apparently, as well as Sasuke's girly sque- "TAKE IT LIKE A PROPER SHINOBI, SASUKE!" ... Ok, This is getting a little wei- "MORE! GIVE ME MORE, ITACHI!" That's it. I'm leaving. This is too gross for me. "Housekeeping?" ... WTF?









"I need more lemon pledge..."







.....