FicWad

”Patrick!” The bruised face, and the blood upon the ground haunted me. It was when I saw him, so close to the end of his life. It was the feelings of guilt that I drowned in. There was nothing easy about this. “Don’t!” I envisioned hands everywhere, holding me down. It was my new life and it wasn’t a pretty life, and eventually I would find the ugly of it once I left Pete. People came to prostitutes for dark secrets, things they could only fantasize about… or pay for.

I felt strong hands close around my wrists and then I was being shaken, “Avery, wake up! Avery, it’s okay. It’s me. It’s Pete.” I heard the familiar voice, but it sounded a thousand miles away.

With another shake my head began to clear, as my eyes blinked open. The light beside the bed was on, lighting up the concern on Pete’s face. “It’s okay.” He whispered, staring in to my eyes.

“It is.” I smiled, pretending that I had woken from the best dream ever. It wasn’t so hard to pretend, if only Pete would believe me. “I’m okay.”

“Cut the bullshit.” Pete replied, staring in to my eyes with a burning intensity. “You don’t have to be okay.”

“You’re not paying for my tears.” I replied, staying as strong as I could manage.

“How much extra would that be?”

“… You’re joking, right?” I watched him for signs of amusement but his face remained the same.

“I’m not.” Pete answered. “I didn’t ask you to stay for the next six days so that you would be a damn doll. Tell me if something is wrong, just as you would tell me if something was right.”

“It was just a nightmare.” I gave in and told him, trying to at least downplay it. He didn’t need to know of my problems. I didn’t even want to know of them. I just wanted Patrick to be okay. I just wanted him to stop putting himself in such danger, because now we were both in danger and I knew… neither of us would ever be the same.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Pete asked, relaxing a little.

I could tell him about parts. “I felt like I was being held down.” By a lot of men, all of which were paying to fuck me… kind of like you.

“Bad experience?” Pete inquired.

“Just in my nightmares. It’s never actually happened to me. It just… feels so real when my eyes are closed.” I shuddered, and Pete noticed so he immediately moved closer to me.

“Nightmares are generally an indication of something that has happened… something that haunts you. What haunts you Avery?” The look Pete gave me took my breath away.

He didn’t want to know what haunted me.

When it came down to fight or flight I found myself fighting, using my words. “What haunts you Pete? Why are you really here?” He paused, a sharp intake of breath letting me know that I was going down the right path. There was more to it than he’d said.

“The money is all you should worry about.” Pete snapped, suddenly looking irate.

I’d gotten under his skin.

“And the sex is all that you should worry about.” I responded, using a tough tone that I didn’t feel at all. It was weird how strong you could actually be when it came down to it. This wasn’t me but suddenly it was. There was something I could add to my resume, seeing as how I’d need a new job after this; adaptable.

The light beside the bed shut off and I thought Pete was going to sleep but then I felt his hands upon my hips, pulling me towards him. I said nothing, as his lips found mine.

It lacked passion, or drive and I knew neither of us actually wanted to have sex. We both just wanted to forget the questions, and our reasons. We both just wanted to disappear in to each other and so we did.

It was quick, and as Pete collapsed beside me again he let out a deep breath. “You’re the best therapy.”

I shut my eyes, ignoring the tears that wanted to spill. He would be the reason for my therapy.



**



I woke up feeling warm, and when I opened my eyes I was gazing in to a pair of honey colored eyes. The brown seemed to have lightened from the night before, and I could even see the small specks lining his eyes. Pete was beautiful.

“Good morning.” He mumbled.

I sat up quickly, feeling panic take hold. “What time is it?”

“It’s only 8, why?” Pete glanced at the clock behind him to make sure he had the time right.

“I- I have to go. I have to. I’ll be back, I promise. I’m sorry- I should have told you last night.” I jumped out of bed, searching for my jeans. Where were they? How far away was I? How long would it take to make the drop? What if they thought I wasn’t coming back?

“Hey- hey!” Pete jumped up, grabbing on to my hips. I stopped, staring in to his eyes. He looked concerned. I was being a little strange, panicking more than I probably should. “Relax.” Pete whispered, running a hand through my sleep fussed hair.

“I’m relaxed.” I faked a smile. “I just need to get where I need to get so that I can get back.”

“Then let me take you.”

“I- I don’t know.”

“We can stop by the bank so that I can get your full fee first.” Pete said, watching for my reaction. “I trust that you’ll come back to me.”

Trust.

“Okay.”



**





“So, you stay here?” Pete asked, glancing at the motel.

With the light shining down on it… it really looked like a shitty place to be. The night made it at least look halfway decent, for an indecent place to be. “Yeah, I’ll be right back.” All of the money Pete had given me was packed in a bag, and I felt like I had just robbed someone. “Did you want to wait here or?” I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find my way back to his nicer hotel.

“I’ll just wait.” Pete replied, turning the car off.

I got out of the car, my entire stomach doing flip-flops. I was so nervous. I was carrying a bag of cash, and had sold myself for said cash. This was so wrong.

I timidly knocked on the motel room, thankful to be out of Pete’s vision. The door creaked open after a short period of time in which I figured they were looking out the peak hole at me. “In.” The gruff voice demanded.

I walked in, the lump in my throat growing. I saw my ‘pimp’ and approached him, “I have my pay for last night, plus for the next six days. He wants me to… um, stay.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Is that right?” He grabbed the bag from me and started sifting through it. “So, he likes the product that much, does he?”

“He does.” My confidence was growing in this dreary situation and I just wanted to be back outside, where the sun was able to shine down on me.

“Good.” I didn’t even respond to the sharp smack that landed upon my right cheek, “Don’t get too cocky whore. You have still yet to pay off your brother’s debt. Once your six days are up I expect you back, working the streets like the whore that you are.”

“I’ll be back.” I whispered, more embarrassed than hurt by the slap.

“Leave.”

I rushed from the room, not even breathing until I was outside and around the corner. I saw Pete look at me but I didn’t look back at him as I leaned against the wall and tried to correct my line of thought.

I could do this.

“Are you okay?” Pete’s voice was so close, and as I opened my eyes I was facing him.

“I needed air.” I lied, smiling at him.

Pete didn’t smile back as his fingers gently brushed against my cheek, “Its red.” He commented.

“This isn’t the prettiest place to be.” I whispered, staring in to his brown eyes. I watched as the concern flooded them, the specks sparkling in the light.

“But you still look beautiful here.”

“It’s just sex.” I shook my head, looking away from him.

He was being romantic and that was something that I couldn’t handle.

Pete was momentarily stunned speechless but then he cleared his throat, “Coffee?”

“Sounds wonderful.”



**



Starbucks was busy, people sitting all around with laptops open in front of them. Pete and I found a table in the back and he went to get our drinks.

I watched the people all around me, and wondered what life would be like after this. I would never be able to feel the same about myself. Would I look as normal and innocent as everyone else here looked? I felt as if I had to have a tag on my forehead that said ‘whore’ and would read ‘ex-whore’ once I was finished. Was that how Pete saw me? I was just string-less sex in his mind, and I was his to do with as he pleased for the next six days.

So, why were we out having coffee instead of stuck in a dark hotel room?

There was something dark about him. I saw it briefly last night, but that dark was overshadowed by just how innocent he really was which showed in his actions.

“You still look tired. Are you sure you don’t want coffee?” Pete brought me back to reality.

“No, hot chocolate sounds delicious. Thank you.” I took the hot chocolate from him, blowing on it before taking a small sip.

Pete slipped in to the chair beside me and his hand fell on to my thigh, as he took a drink of his white mocha cappuccino. “This is always a good place to come and think.”

“It seems like a good place to come and be alone, without being alone.” I commented, glancing around at all of the people sitting by themselves.

Pete didn’t say anything and when I looked back at him he was simply staring at me, something I couldn’t quite name on his face. “You’re right. I never really thought about it that way.” He finally said.

“So, you come here often to not be alone?” I asked, uncomfortable with the way he stared at me.

“I do.”

“My brother and I used to go to the park to be alone, around other people. It was nice, because people weren’t on their laptops all the time… They were laughing, and running around- and I mean, a lot of them had kids but… it was nice because kids seem to bring out the happy in people, unlike laptops which have a habit of turning people in to zombies. Look around, all of these people are just a step away from mindlessly eating each other instead of their bagels.” I rambled, nervously looking down at my hot chocolate.

“Would you like to go the park?” Pete asked.

“No.” I didn’t want to go anywhere that reminded me of Patrick, and all the good times we’d had together before his life took a tragic turn, when the gambling and drugs began to take over.

“Are you close with your brother?” Pete asked softly, his hand resting on my thigh lightly squeezing.

“I was.” Now I wasn’t so sure. All I could do to protect him was sell myself, and I wasn’t even sure that would be enough. It was just yesterday’s problems that I was solving. I didn’t know how to fix tomorrow’s.

“I get the feeling that you don’t want to talk about it.” Pete muttered.

“It’s just sex.” That’s all you’re paying me for.

“Well, would you prefer I fuck you here or talk to you?” Pete countered.

I looked up, glaring at him. “Do you have any siblings?” I spit out.

Pete cracked a smile, “No, I don’t.”

My hot chocolate was now cold, and I was enjoying my time with Pete against my will. It was hard not to laugh when he spoke, and his hand on my thigh made me feel comfortable- more comfortable than I should feel.

And I was safe from the drop off room for six more days.

That was a relief.











**



“Do you like this song?” Pete asked.

I’d settled upon a random radio station, after finding nothing worth listening to. “No, but I’m getting tired of flicking through channels.”

Pete laughed, “I have a CD in, if you’d prefer to try that.”

I did.

The songs had a nice beat, and I found myself enjoying it immensely until we pulled in to the hotel parking lot again. “Ready for round two?” Pete joked.

“I am.” I yawned, getting out of the car before Pete could open my door for me.

“Did you want to get some sleep first?” Pete asked.

“I’m fine.” Sleep sounded wonderful.

“You are mighty fine Avery, there’s no question to that.” Pete was grinning, “But would you like to sleep before I sexually torture you?” He winked.

I blushed, my mouth going dry. “Maybe sleeping first would be a good idea.”

“That’s what I thought.” Pete’s eyes danced with amusement. “I have to go run a few errands. I’m not completely free from the world. You remember the room number?”

I nodded.

“Good.” Pete spent a few minutes searching his pockets for the key but when he pulled it out he placed it in my hand, “I’ll be back soon. Get some rest.” He leaned down, pressing his lips against my forehead. I was surprised by the sweet gesture and had to take a baseball bat to the butterflies attempting to flutter in my stomach as Pete disappeared back in to his car.

My legs felt heavy as I walked back to the hotel room. It didn’t take long and once inside I collapsed upon the bed. How little sleep did I get the night before? I felt utterly exhausted.

I didn’t even pull the blankets over me as I fell fast asleep, thoughts of Pete overlapping my thoughts of Patrick.

That wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

It’s just sex Avery.





**

(Third person POV)



His eyes glittered dangerously as he pulled over, music quietly leaking from his car. “How much?” He asked, voice heavy with desire.

The girl leaned over, against the car. “350 an hour and I’ll give you the time of your life.” She slurred out, obviously high on something.

“Get in.” He demanded, eyes icing over.

She saw the danger but that was her life so without even questioning the man she slipped in to his vehicle, unaware that it would be her last time selling herself.

The man cringed as his nose was invaded with the heavy scent of lavender. It was overwhelming, and disgusted him just as much as the girl’s hand which inched its way up his leg.

He ignored the feelings of revulsion as he grabbed her hair roughly and pulled her face to his for a passionless kiss. She tasted strongly of peppermint and he wondered if he’d ever get the taste out of his mouth…

**



(Avery’s POV)



My eyes fluttered open as I felt something soft brush against my forehead. Pete was sitting beside me on the bed, and it was dark. How long had I slept? Crap.

“Hi.” Pete smiled down at me, brushing hair away from my face. “You were exhausted.” He commented.

“What time is it?” I attempted to sit up but Pete pushed me back, leaning forward and capturing my mouth with his. His mouth tasted different… It tasted weird- like he’d been devouring peppermint candies all day. I pushed him away, weakly but he relented and pulled away, frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way-“ I frowned as well, “But you need to brush your teeth, with something that isn’t so… peppermint-y.”

Pete grinned, “Will do. Sorry, I ate some nasty candies earlier when I went out to eat. I didn’t want to stick around here and risk waking you up because you seemed to need the sleep.”

I glanced at the clock, “Crap, it’s nine? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep all day!”

Pete just smiled, “It’s okay. I still have tonight- if you’re up for it… and the next five days.”

“Did you-“ I looked away, blushing.

“What?”

“Nevermind, I think I’m just tired still.” I didn’t want him to touch me. He smelled like lavender, and tasted like peppermint. He’d obviously been with someone else… Wait, I was paid to sleep with him… Why did it matter to me if he was sleeping with someone else as well?

“It’s something else. Come on, Avery. Tell me.” Pete pressed. As I gazed at him I noticed he was still frowning.

I wrinkled my nose as he brushed against me lightly, “I hate the smell of lavender.” I bitterly whispered, hating myself for being bitter in the first place. I evidently needed to google the definition of whore.

“Oh god, I still smell like lavender?” Pete asked, voice showing his own disgust. “I hate it too but it’s my sister’s favorite smell.”

I felt myself relaxing but then I stopped, “Pete… You said you didn’t have any siblings.”

Pete froze, his entire body tensing.

The entire situation was uncomfortable but then Pete relaxed, “I did? Damn. I’m such a dick.” He muttered, laughing awkwardly. “She’s not really my sister but she’s close enough. She’s my best friend’s sister and we were all hanging out earlier. She’s also the one who forced all of the peppermint candies down my throat when we ate out together.”

“Oh.” He was lying.

“Shall we shower?” Pete asked. “I’ll even brush my teeth.”

“Sure.” I mumbled, throwing on a smile for his sake.

Why was he lying to me?

It wasn’t like he was cheating. Why couldn’t he just say he slept with someone else? All of the lies just made it seem so much worse.